And NO! No Bull-Shite! Keeps A’ Rollin’ But Butt- But Fuk It! My Lap-Top Just Died! No Fuckken’ Way! More on to My ‘A Gin’ ‘Process’ To Come… As I Fix This Bitch, Please Stand By– Sound is Fukked up

And NO! No Bull-Shite! Keeps A’ Rollin’ But Butt- But Fuk It! My Lap-Top Just Died! No Fuckken’ Way! More on to My ‘A Gin’ ‘Process’ To Come… As I Fix This Bitch, Please Stand By– Sound is Fukked up

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Here is how bar fines are not designed to work:

You do NOT Lose it. (Your receipt)
You broke it; you bought it.
You hand over your receipt to your rental so she can leave you. Continue reading →

Part Five of a Sailor’s Scholarly Series on U.S. Naval History in The South Pacific: ‘The Beautiful Girl With The Red Balloon’ I don’y

Part Five of a Sailor’s Scholarly Series on U.S. Naval History in The South Pacific: ‘The Beautiful Girl With The Red Balloon’ I don’y

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Magsaysay was a little more frenetic than usual for a hot, humid sunny day.
Or maybe it was my imagination.
Continue reading →

Part Four of a Sailor’s Scholarly Series on U.S. Naval History in The South Pacific: PAIN

Part Four of a Sailor’s Scholarly Series on U.S. Naval History in The South Pacific: PAIN

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Let’s Review Shall We

Matt, Rogers, and I were in Viva Young, Olongapo City. I had been struck by The Thunderbolt. Rog was buying the beer for the next ten years. Matt was drawing a charcoal portrait on a cocktail napkin of a sweet, young lovely Filipina with a glass eye. Mama-San was not happy.

SNAFU (‘Situation Normal: All Fucked Up’)

Primary Problem was my ‘Thunderbolt Smitten Status’ Continue reading →

Part Three of a Sailor’s Scholarly Series on U.S. Naval History in The South Pacific

Part Three of a Sailor’s Scholarly Series on U.S. Naval History in The South Pacific

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I just had to have some chat with her.
And By God, I would.
Or die.
I became useless for the rest of the evening.
Continue reading →

Don’t Read This! Lance is Stupid! Part Two of a Sailor’s Scholarly Series on U.S. Naval History in The South Pacific

Don’t Read This! Lance is Stupid! Part Two of a Sailor’s Scholarly Series on U.S. Naval History in The South Pacific

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When last we left our Boys they had arrived at Viva Young not unlike victorious Roman Legionaries returning from Gaul—The Conquering Heroes—welcomed with gleeful squeals of joy and happiness by the Girls. Continue reading →

I Love MY TEXAS! Thought I’d re-post this for all my Brit Friends Out There: “Now I know why London Bridge Fell Down”

I Love MY TEXAS! Thought I’d re-post this for all my Brit Friends Out There: “Now I know why London Bridge Fell Down”

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After a few days, she did manage to get me out of the flat for a walk-about. We went to Buckingham Palace (one day shot there) Continue reading →

Pls Reee Read This One! Godammn-it!

Pls Reee Read This One! Godammn-it!

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Dateline: 1989 Subic Bay Naval Base / Olongapo City, Philippines 1600hrs

“Knock Off Ship’s Work! Liberty Call! Liberty Call!” reverberated from the 1MC onboard the USS Frederick, LST 1184.

Simultaneously about a hundred sailors went into Fred Flintstone Mode:

“Yabba Dabba Dooo!!” Continue reading →

No! Oh No! Lance! Restrain Yer-Self Son! Why?? Daily Lenny: A Perverse Act, Pissing in the Sink, Truth Time: I Have Pissed In A Lot of Sinks During My Haze-Daze.

No! Oh No! Lance! Restrain Yer-Self Son! Why?? Daily Lenny: A Perverse Act, Pissing in the Sink, Truth Time: I Have Pissed In A Lot of Sinks During My Haze-Daze.

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C’mon Guys (and Gals) fess up: Have you ever pissed in a sink?

I know I have. Continue reading →

Tis A ”Shakespearean’ Kind of Day For This Here Cowboy. For My Missed Sis: Madelyn, My Lady Macbeth: I Miss Her, Marvelous Much, And I’ll Never Forgive Her–For Dying On Me. Bitch!

Tis A ”Shakespearean’ Kind of Day For This Here Cowboy. For My Missed Sis: Madelyn, My Lady Macbeth: I Miss Her, Marvelous Much, And I’ll Never Forgive Her–For Dying On Me. Bitch!

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Screw it! Re-spam it! I love my own post. Well this one anyway,
It needs more love.
Most of Y’all have seen it, but some newbies may have not.

“Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?”
–Lady Macbeth Continue reading →

Denton UBH Day One: Stepping Through The Door. I Hope My Spaceship Knows Which Way To Go. I’d Give it 50/50 At This Point.

Denton UBH Day One: Stepping Through The Door. I Hope My Spaceship Knows Which Way To Go. I’d Give it 50/50 At This Point.

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Arrived 1822 hrs.
Delivered there by two very attractive young Hunt County EMT’s.
They were almost twins, in their young innocent female forms.
I was ‘in love.’
With both of them.
Why not?
I’m liberal. Continue reading →

Re-Werk’d, Re-Twerk’d With–All My Might! As I ‘Liked’. Boohoo For Hollywood! Hahaha! Hollywood! Joke on Three Wheels! And One’s Flat. Splat!

Re-Werk’d, Re-Twerk’d With–All My Might! As I ‘Liked’. Boohoo For Hollywood! Hahaha! Hollywood! Joke on Three Wheels! And One’s Flat. Splat!

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Please Have a re-read.
I added a Daddy Snippet….
And Some Other Shite
Under the Rainbow.
Cannot believe I did not include this in the orig. Continue reading →

I Only Re-Spam This In The Off-Chance Some of My New Friends From Glen Oaks Happen To Swerve Into It. Plus, ‘Pulse–Vital Signs’ And I Love The Damn Songs.

I Only Re-Spam This In The Off-Chance Some of My New Friends From Glen Oaks Happen To Swerve Into It. Plus, ‘Pulse–Vital Signs’ And I Love The Damn Songs.

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For Louisiana (Dated News, I know–Only Dates I Can Git These Daze))
This post needs more affection
Give it UP! Continue reading →

I Miss My Pets–They Unconditionally Loved Me! “Charley The Cougar.”I fucken HATE HATE HATE! WORDpRESS! MOTHER-FUK u wP!”Don’ Sugar-coat it Lance—tell us how you really feel!)

I Miss My Pets–They Unconditionally Loved Me! “Charley The Cougar.”I fucken HATE HATE HATE! WORDpRESS! MOTHER-FUK u wP!”Don’ Sugar-coat it Lance—tell us how you really feel!)

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I Think I’m Done With Lake Charles–For-Fukkin’ Ever–Good Riddance! Continue reading →

NO! Lance, You Lie Redux, Or “Dark-Eyed Ragin’ Cajun Woman” This is a long series. Anyone who slogs thru it gets a free Mickey Mouse Pencil Sharpener–Color of your choice. Free shipping. (Links to the chapters are in the bodies of the bodies…)

NO! Lance, You Lie Redux, Or “Dark-Eyed Ragin’ Cajun Woman” This is a long series. Anyone who slogs thru it gets a free Mickey Mouse Pencil Sharpener–Color of your choice. Free shipping. (Links to the chapters are in the bodies of the bodies…)

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For Louisiana
This post needs more affection Continue reading →

Shonnie The Biker’s Wife: Just Some Last Thoughts & One Sad “Reminisce”–Important Breaking Shit: Er, I Meant, ‘News’

Shonnie The Biker’s Wife: Just Some Last Thoughts & One Sad “Reminisce”–Important Breaking Shit: Er, I Meant, ‘News’

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Mind Gone!
Gone with The Wind!
“So Long, My Mind”
Happy Trails to YOU!
(W’ell NEVER Meet Again.

Continue reading →

Kris Fucked Up! He Allowed Her To Escape! “Well, I just got back from New York city; Kris and Rita done it all”

Kris Fucked Up! He Allowed Her To Escape! “Well, I just got back from New York city; Kris and Rita done it all”

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To Be So Smart Kris,
You Were An Idiot!
(I Can Relate!) Continue reading →

I Have Spilled Far Too Much Virtual Ink on Rita. Fuk U, I’ll I’ll Spill Some More!! I Love Rita. I Just Caint Hep It! “Well, I just got back from New York City; Kris and Rita Done it all.”

I Have Spilled Far Too Much Virtual Ink on Rita. Fuk U, I’ll I’ll Spill Some More!! I Love Rita. I Just Caint Hep It! “Well, I just got back from New York City; Kris and Rita Done it all.”

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To Be So Smart Kris,
You Were An Idiot!
(I Can Relate!) Continue reading →

Sorry Y’all! You’ll Havta Srool Down to Catch All The ‘Y’alls, Y’all! “I’m A 1000 Miles From No-Where’s-Ville. Nicce ‘Climit!’ Wanna Join Me? In My Misery. Yup! I am Crazy / Insane!”

Sorry Y’all! You’ll Havta Srool Down to Catch All The ‘Y’alls, Y’all! “I’m A 1000 Miles From No-Where’s-Ville. Nicce ‘Climit!’ Wanna Join Me? In My Misery. Yup! I am Crazy / Insane!”

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In Case Y’all did Not Notice
I Love The Andrews Sisters! Continue reading →

no! lANCE! dON’T dO iT! dON’T rE-pOST iT! “But I Was Just Searchin’ For My ‘Happy Face / Place. Sorry, But Christmas Won’t Come Early this Year”

no! lANCE! dON’T dO iT! dON’T rE-pOST iT! “But I Was Just Searchin’ For My ‘Happy Face / Place. Sorry, But Christmas Won’t Come Early this Year”

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MERRY CHRISTMAS Y’ALL
I Love Everyone—Well Almost Ever’One
There are Some I am Planning to Shoot in the head.
Thrice! Continue reading →

Please Re-Visit The “Poo-Pond” I Have So Many, So MANY ‘Happy’ Memories of it! Ooooh! That Smell!

Please Re-Visit The “Poo-Pond” I Have So Many, So MANY ‘Happy’ Memories of it! Ooooh! That Smell!

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C’mon Y’all!
This post needs your love.
Watch the vids if nothing else
They are brilliant!
(not mine)
But I “lived” The Experience for almost two years! Continue reading →

Uh… Did I Reee-Post This One Already? I Cannot Recall & My WP ‘Posted History’ Brings No Joy.

Uh… Did I Reee-Post This One Already? I Cannot Recall & My WP ‘Posted History’ Brings No Joy.

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I need to be ‘institutionalized’ somewhere far far away. A place where life is tenuous at worst and exciting at best and the pay is good and booze is scarce and the women are… well, usually not to be found, except on the Internet Continue reading →

Profane Profanity! (With Special Guest Star: ‘Mend Your Speech A Little Cordelia’–That’s MY Gal! You Go Girl!)

Profane Profanity! (With Special Guest Star: ‘Mend Your Speech A Little Cordelia’–That’s MY Gal! You Go Girl!)

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I use a lot.
A lot of Profanity
What can I say?
I am a Texan / Sailor
Or a Sailor / Texan.
‘Tis my nature.
Never mean to offend.
And I Certainly Don’t Pretend! Continue reading →

This is wayyy Too long… Reeely Really REALLY Long. If You Slog Through It, I’ll Send You A Hot Check For Ten Thousand Bucks. Right Before I Skip Town. Helpful Hint: the Reader Comments Are-to-Die-For! I LOVE My Readers! All 5 Of Them!

This is wayyy Too long… Reeely Really REALLY Long. If You Slog Through It, I’ll Send You A Hot Check For Ten Thousand Bucks. Right Before I Skip Town. Helpful Hint: the Reader Comments Are-to-Die-For! I LOVE My Readers! All 5 Of Them!

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Dear Readers,

This is a “HOT MESS” collection of some recent and some not-so-recent ‘normal’ comments and ‘vomit comments’ and some other weird shit that spills from my mind from time to time.

I’m Sorry. Continue reading →

“The Reports Of My Un-Timely Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated.” –Mark Twain

“The Reports Of My Un-Timely Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated.” –Mark Twain

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It was recently brought to my attention that there is a rumor making the circuit in My Home Town of Honey Grove:

“Lance Marcom Was Found to be Dead.”
Don’t Worry:
I’ll Get There
By and Bye Bye Continue reading →

Must Be… A Stream of Consciousness. Honesty-Time: I Always ‘Rapidly Post A Post’–Just to Look at it–Once I Think I Have Found It ‘Done’

Must Be… A Stream of Consciousness. Honesty-Time: I Always ‘Rapidly Post A Post’–Just to Look at it–Once I Think I Have Found It ‘Done’

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There ARE Still Good People in This World. I Aspire to be one of them–It’s a Work-in My Aggressive, Progressive Progressiveness Continue reading →

Rejoice Dear Hearts! Ain’t Nothin’ But Good Times Ahead! The Good Old Days Are RIGHT NOW. MEOW! Well, Come November Mid-Terms Anyhow

Rejoice Dear Hearts! Ain’t Nothin’ But Good Times Ahead! The Good Old Days Are RIGHT NOW. MEOW! Well, Come November Mid-Terms Anyhow

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There are so many reasons today to rejoice. Continue reading →

Up-Dated! Added A Nerdy Science Vid–Ya’ll Hav’ta Scroll Down-Sorry. Earth’s Magnetic Field or ‘Full-Tilt Boogie’ “Rent–A–Sailor Part Duh: Topsy-Turvy”

Up-Dated! Added A Nerdy Science Vid–Ya’ll Hav’ta Scroll Down-Sorry. Earth’s Magnetic Field or ‘Full-Tilt Boogie’ “Rent–A–Sailor Part Duh: Topsy-Turvy”

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Up is Down Down is Up Apropos For Now, Eh? We had three days steaming time to kill on our way to That ‘That Land Down Under’. Continue reading →

Lance is a Moron! “Goin’ To The Chapel…” Once Agin–Some People Live and Learn–Some People Just Live And Forget. I Famously Fail Into The Latter Category.

Lance is a Moron! “Goin’ To The Chapel…” Once Agin–Some People Live and Learn–Some People Just Live And Forget. I Famously Fail Into The Latter Category.

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Apparently marriage to me is not much more binding than a hand-shake. Continue reading →

Must Re-Post-‘Comedy’of Errors-Bad Judgments: ‘Missus-Calculations’–There is no Good Reason For Me To Still Be Alive. Because My Life Has Been A…A Cavalcade of… Mistakes

Must Re-Post-‘Comedy’of Errors-Bad Judgments: ‘Missus-Calculations’–There is no Good Reason For Me To Still Be Alive. Because My Life Has Been A…A Cavalcade of… Mistakes

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“Aren’t you ashamed?”

“No. I’m not.” Continue reading →

Had To. Sorry Kids! Ex-Panda’d Re-Run. Felt Compelled. Re-Rum Alert! Up-Dated, Slightly Inebriated, and Slightly Expand-I-Cated–Bigly-Cated

Had To. Sorry Kids! Ex-Panda’d Re-Run. Felt Compelled. Re-Rum Alert! Up-Dated, Slightly Inebriated, and Slightly Expand-I-Cated–Bigly-Cated

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For Any Enquiring Minds Who Give-A-Shit: I recently deleted My Face-Fuk Account of 12 Years. Guess what happened next. Continue reading →

Since I Still Be Stymied & Stuck & Hopelessly Remain/Retained/Detained in “Bug” Mode: “The Basra Bugman Revisited” I Wish. Because I Miss His Daily Perambulations.

Since I Still Be Stymied & Stuck & Hopelessly Remain/Retained/Detained in “Bug” Mode: “The Basra Bugman Revisited” I Wish. Because I Miss His Daily Perambulations.

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Fallback Monday Mode Yet another Reee-Post!
Sorry Y’all Continue reading →

California on my Mind MIND? MiNd? No, I Don’t Mind! I No Longer Have The TIME! (NOR The Damn Dime Neither)

California on my Mind MIND? MiNd? No, I Don’t Mind! I No Longer Have The TIME! (NOR The Damn Dime Neither)

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MinD???
wHUT mIND? wHUT IS dAT?
Did I ever possess Such a Thing? Continue reading →

HAHAHA! IMHO This Post Could Use Mo’ Love. It Has Been Up-Dated–More ‘Content’–

HAHAHA! IMHO This Post Could Use Mo’ Love. It Has Been Up-Dated–More ‘Content’–

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Only Look If You Have A Bit of YOUR Life You Wanna WASTE. “Shit Post # 9: Meet Mr. Lance, NEWS JUNKIE” Continue reading →

Rhonda: Chapter Two and a Half

Rhonda: Chapter Two and a Half

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One night after some passionate love- making, I rolled over, looked at Rhonda and said,
“I think I’m falling in love with you.”
She Said, ‘Don’t”
Two Months Later we were married.
I am not a man to take ‘no’ for an answer. Continue reading →

Since Wp wILL NOT ALLOW ME TO DROP THIS IN…Rhonda Jo: Chapter Le Premier: “Help Help Me Rhonda” (This Post is All Fukked Up. Discombobulated–Caint Edit… N/M…

Since Wp wILL NOT ALLOW ME TO DROP THIS IN…Rhonda Jo: Chapter Le Premier: “Help Help Me Rhonda” (This Post is All Fukked Up. Discombobulated–Caint Edit… N/M…

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Self-Pity is a worse disease than alcoholism.
I can ‘fix’ alcoholism.
Have not yet found a cure for self-pity or regret, or loneliness.
These plagues plague me.
Constantly
Relentlessly. Continue reading →

NO! I Have Spent Far Too Much of My Life In Paris, or Dreaming of Paris–France I am So Ashamed of Texan Me!

NO! I Have Spent Far Too Much of My Life In Paris, or Dreaming of Paris–France I am So Ashamed of Texan Me!

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“The Lamp is Broken On The Mantel” Continue reading →