Lance! Lance! LANCE!!! Take a Fuckin’ Break! Get Over Yourself!  Added More Navy SEAL SHIT! “Part Two of a Sailor’s Scholarly Series on U.S. Naval History in The South Pacific”

Lance! Lance! LANCE!!! Take a Fuckin’ Break! Get Over Yourself! Added More Navy SEAL SHIT! “Part Two of a Sailor’s Scholarly Series on U.S. Naval History in The South Pacific”

SEALS ARE FOR REAL!
So You Better Watch Yer Ass

Continue reading

I am just a Foolish Fool! Up-Dated–I Cannot Wrap My Moron Mind Around How I Managed To Leave Out Some Of The Most Important Vids!

I am just a Foolish Fool! Up-Dated–I Cannot Wrap My Moron Mind Around How I Managed To Leave Out Some Of The Most Important Vids!

I am just a Foolish Fool!
Continue reading

Here is Another One That Never Gets No Play on ‘The Radio.’ Why Not Y’all? “Escape From Memphis–Chapter One”

Here is Another One That Never Gets No Play on ‘The Radio.’ Why Not Y’all? “Escape From Memphis–Chapter One”

The Lamp is broken on the mantle.
My mind is blown and it’s goin’ away.
It’s gettin’ more than I can handle…

Continue reading

Please Try this One. It’s Self-Deprecating Fuckin’ Fun!

Please Try this One. It’s Self-Deprecating Fuckin’ Fun!

The below is a comment I made over at Aussa’s Blog (a blog I can never say enough good things about), in response to one of her hilarious posts: Ridiculous On The Job Injuries Continue reading

Y’all Wanna Know The Worst Tactile Sensation Ever? Of Course You Do.

Y’all Wanna Know The Worst Tactile Sensation Ever? Of Course You Do.

Of course you do.
It is when you go to flush the toilet and that handle snarls back at you, rather limp-wrist’d, as if to say,
“Not tonight Asshole. Go back to sleep.” Continue reading

“Sometimes There Just Aren’t Enuff Crud Eaters” Redux–Major Expanded–New & Improved! That’s A Premise of a Promise! Wanna Buy a Bridge? I Have One For Sale. Cheap.

“Sometimes There Just Aren’t Enuff Crud Eaters” Redux–Major Expanded–New & Improved! That’s A Premise of a Promise! Wanna Buy a Bridge? I Have One For Sale. Cheap.

“No Darlin’ I wanna go to that new fish store and buy me a coupla crud-eaters for my ‘quarium.”
Continue reading

G’Damn! This Post is way too long even for your humble author to wade thru! “The Vomit Commenter’s Collection of Sad Commentary” or “How to Lose Your Readers in 4000 Words or Less”

G’Damn! This Post is way too long even for your humble author to wade thru! “The Vomit Commenter’s Collection of Sad Commentary” or “How to Lose Your Readers in 4000 Words or Less”

Dear Readers,

This is a “HOT MESS” collection of some recent and some not-so-recent ‘normal’ comments and ‘vomit comments’ and some other weird shit that spills from my mind from time to time.

I’m Sorry. Continue reading

I know Carole is Gay… Ask me how Many Fuks I Give. Septembers Are Always Very Hard On Me. Because They Remind Me… Brings Back Insanity… They Break Me!  I’d Just  as Soon as to fore-get. But, I cannot!  I  just Cannot!

I know Carole is Gay… Ask me how Many Fuks I Give. Septembers Are Always Very Hard On Me. Because They Remind Me… Brings Back Insanity… They Break Me! I’d Just as Soon as to fore-get. But, I cannot! I just Cannot!

Cowards Die Many Times Before Their Deaths;
The valiant Never Taste of Death but Once.” Continue reading

My Legs Had Stopped Working… Please Re-Read, Re-Listen–Especially The Lenny Bits–A Vanity Throwback… or, if you Will:  Or “Why Ruby Did It?”

My Legs Had Stopped Working… Please Re-Read, Re-Listen–Especially The Lenny Bits–A Vanity Throwback… or, if you Will: Or “Why Ruby Did It?”

*Of course if you want the answer to that burning behind the Grassy Knoll Question Continue reading

I am an Idiot! A Self-Deprecating Idiot. Wanna ‘Depricate’ Me? Wanna Dance? Take a Number. The Line Forms to the Right,  “Shonnie: Just Some Last Thoughts & One “Reminisce”

I am an Idiot! A Self-Deprecating Idiot. Wanna ‘Depricate’ Me? Wanna Dance? Take a Number. The Line Forms to the Right, “Shonnie: Just Some Last Thoughts & One “Reminisce”

Fuk UJ Word-Press.
Take Your Time Up-Loadin’ My Post.
Yu Got Nothin’ But Time.
News Flash!
My TIME is
Valuable
To Me!

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WP is So Fu*k’ed UP!  T-Back Thirst-Day: Emails From Afghanistan: My Boss, aka: ‘That Guy I Wouldn’t Want Running An Elevator For Me’

WP is So Fu*k’ed UP! T-Back Thirst-Day: Emails From Afghanistan: My Boss, aka: ‘That Guy I Wouldn’t Want Running An Elevator For Me’

Around 1730hrs a truck pulls up outside my office at LSA 2. I didn’t see who was in the truck, but I figured I was about to have a visitor. (I’m really smart that way) Continue reading

Dear WordPress! Kiss My Ass! The Brownest Part! WP, Why Cannot I Edit My Own G’Damn Post?  “Woe To The Wheeless Wheelbarrow”

Dear WordPress! Kiss My Ass! The Brownest Part! WP, Why Cannot I Edit My Own G’Damn Post? “Woe To The Wheeless Wheelbarrow”

Call in the dogs.
Call in the Frogs
Piss on the fire.
The Muck and The Mire
We dun he’ah.
Y’all Have A Great Day!
Ya Hear!
Readers!
Ya Here?
Where You at?
Rat a tat tat!

Continue reading

This is A Really Looong Post. El Stupido! Ya Know?! No! LANCE! dON’T dO iT! dON’T rE-pOST iT! (Sorry. Caps Lock Malfunction Junction)

This is A Really Looong Post. El Stupido! Ya Know?! No! LANCE! dON’T dO iT! dON’T rE-pOST iT! (Sorry. Caps Lock Malfunction Junction)

MERRY CHRISTMAS Y’ALL
I Love Everyone—Well Almost Ever’One
There are Some I am Planning to Shoot in the head.
Thrice! Continue reading

Buddy? Spare a Dime? Or at Very Least, A Simple Rhyme? F’k Me! UPDATED: “Grapes of Wrath” Want A Bath? Good  Luck With ThaT! Rant-a-Tat-Tat!-Tat! Now “Run Tell That!” (Shades of Peanut–Look It Up!)

Buddy? Spare a Dime? Or at Very Least, A Simple Rhyme? F’k Me! UPDATED: “Grapes of Wrath” Want A Bath? Good Luck With ThaT! Rant-a-Tat-Tat!-Tat! Now “Run Tell That!” (Shades of Peanut–Look It Up!)

Updated.
Still
A Work in Progress Continue reading

Yeah, I am Lazy. I Keep Re-Postin’ Old Shit. Git Over It! “California on my Mind MIND? MiNd? No, I Don’t Mind! I No Longer Have The TIME! (NOR The Damn Dime Neither)”

Yeah, I am Lazy. I Keep Re-Postin’ Old Shit. Git Over It! “California on my Mind MIND? MiNd? No, I Don’t Mind! I No Longer Have The TIME! (NOR The Damn Dime Neither)”

MinD???
wHUT mIND? wHUT IS dAT?
Did I ever possess Such a Thing? Continue reading

Lo Siento Mi Vida.  Do NOT Look At This! Let Alone READ It! This Post Is All Fukked Up! Half The Thumb-Nails Don’t Even Show Up!

Lo Siento Mi Vida. Do NOT Look At This! Let Alone READ It! This Post Is All Fukked Up! Half The Thumb-Nails Don’t Even Show Up!

Do NOT READ THIS
It is a Depressing
Pity-Party
Thrown
Just for Me
Lo siento mi vida
Continue reading

God-Damn It! I’m Such An Idiot! I Adore This Woman, Janis Ian, I Love Her. She Loves Me Not! I Don’t Give A Fuck If She Is A Lesbian, Who Really Gives A Shit At This Point?

God-Damn It! I’m Such An Idiot! I Adore This Woman, Janis Ian, I Love Her. She Loves Me Not! I Don’t Give A Fuck If She Is A Lesbian, Who Really Gives A Shit At This Point?

She Will Read It, Perhaps In Heaven Which, if There is Such a Place, she shall reside.
Until the end of time

Continue reading

Hahahaha! I Am A Texan-Centris Texas Superiority Complex! (Betcha Never Heard That One) From Me.  If you have no cents of humor… You do not belong here. her. here. her. fuck it. I think you caught my drift

Hahahaha! I Am A Texan-Centris Texas Superiority Complex! (Betcha Never Heard That One) From Me. If you have no cents of humor… You do not belong here. her. here. her. fuck it. I think you caught my drift

Marla Made Me Re-Post This.
I am trying (in vain) to teach her “Texas” Continue reading

I May Be Drunk. Sorry If This Post Is All Fukked Up. I May Fix It Later, But Do Not Set Yer Watch…  Kinda, Sorta, Maybe, Updated, Inebriated, Expanded, Or Not. Fuk Off!

I May Be Drunk. Sorry If This Post Is All Fukked Up. I May Fix It Later, But Do Not Set Yer Watch… Kinda, Sorta, Maybe, Updated, Inebriated, Expanded, Or Not. Fuk Off!

I Miss My Mother
I Fuckin’ Miss My Mom!

Continue reading

Oh Why Not? Why Not Re-Cycle/Re-Post It?—“On The Street Where I Lived” My Baptism of Fire. “Supper-Time–And The Liver Is Greezy”–You’ll Have To Scroll Down…

Oh Why Not? Why Not Re-Cycle/Re-Post It?—“On The Street Where I Lived” My Baptism of Fire. “Supper-Time–And The Liver Is Greezy”–You’ll Have To Scroll Down…

‘Three-Nine-Six-One-Three Bruning Street Fremont California: 1966-1968.
Continue reading

What is WRONG With Me? I Cannot Get Her Out of my Head. It is well-documented in These Pages How Much I Wish I’d had a Daughter, but…

What is WRONG With Me? I Cannot Get Her Out of my Head. It is well-documented in These Pages How Much I Wish I’d had a Daughter, but…

This is really fucking with my head.

Such a beautiful young girl….

I was gonna try to make some sense of this original post.

Now I cannot.

This whole sad saga is just horrible. Continue reading

“Letter From a South Park Jail” Part Four: “Homeward Bound”

“Letter From a South Park Jail” Part Four: “Homeward Bound”

It was a long and winding road which led me to South Park home base. As I was trudging along, sweating my ass off, I kept reminding myself of the New Yorker’s directions given to someone looking to get to Texas from NYC:

“Head west until you smell shit. That’s Oklahoma. Go south until you step in it. That’s Texas.” Continue reading

“Letter From a South Park Jail” Part Three: “The Bored Walk”

“Letter From a South Park Jail” Part Three: “The Bored Walk”

The Briefing was Brief:

“This here’s the van gonna take you. Leaves at zero five hunnert, an’ it’ll leave without ch’all, so doan wander off.” Continue reading

I Really Don’t Like to Use Euphemisms, Clichés, Vapid Expressions, ‘Nice-Polite-Speech,’  Trite Sayings, YUCK Oh Bull-Shite! I Hate That! With All My Might! So Guess What? Fuck Off! J/K!

I Really Don’t Like to Use Euphemisms, Clichés, Vapid Expressions, ‘Nice-Polite-Speech,’ Trite Sayings, YUCK Oh Bull-Shite! I Hate That! With All My Might! So Guess What? Fuck Off! J/K!

Don’t Be a Cliché
Okay?
And never be ‘nice’
I hate ‘nice’
Nice is just mice
And I am a fucking cat
A black one with attitude. Continue reading

“Linda & Lance Go To Mars” (And They Lived Happily Ever After) It is a Linda Kind of DaY

“Linda & Lance Go To Mars” (And They Lived Happily Ever After) It is a Linda Kind of DaY

Yet one more stupid FaceBork Post: “I gotta repost this post and allow me to enlighten and explain to you why:
No. Fuk this. The reason had a short hapless half-life. Continue reading

Oh Mesico! Lance, You Lie: Chapter Six–Note to Self: “Self, Finish The Edit Later”–Some Names Have Been ‘Mortified’ To Protect The Guilty

Oh Mesico! Lance, You Lie: Chapter Six–Note to Self: “Self, Finish The Edit Later”–Some Names Have Been ‘Mortified’ To Protect The Guilty

There were a few other escapades no less bizarre during this time, but I won’t recount them here. Continue reading

Kinda Slightly Up-Dated. “How I came to live in the Shit Hole Garage Apartment which was not really a garage apartment, but only a Shit Hole underneath a garage apartment”

Kinda Slightly Up-Dated. “How I came to live in the Shit Hole Garage Apartment which was not really a garage apartment, but only a Shit Hole underneath a garage apartment”

“I Fake it so real I am beyond Fake.” Continue reading

Just Fer Fun! And Yes! I Will Finally Admit: This Is A True Story–Y’all Know, I Never Write Fiction–No Time/Talent For It. “Richard & His Lame-Ass Jeans Store Chapter Les Deux (My Love–My Sister–My Madelyn)”

Just Fer Fun! And Yes! I Will Finally Admit: This Is A True Story–Y’all Know, I Never Write Fiction–No Time/Talent For It. “Richard & His Lame-Ass Jeans Store Chapter Les Deux (My Love–My Sister–My Madelyn)”

Bonham Texas
Fuck Bonham Texas
Ugliest Town in
TEXAS Continue reading

Must Re-Post Because I’m An Idiot. And a Sentimental Old Fool. “Leonard Cohen’s Muse–Suzanne Verdal, & Musing About Muses–Or, What You Will (“And you know that she’s half-crazy”–therein lies the attraction…)”

Must Re-Post Because I’m An Idiot. And a Sentimental Old Fool. “Leonard Cohen’s Muse–Suzanne Verdal, & Musing About Muses–Or, What You Will (“And you know that she’s half-crazy”–therein lies the attraction…)”

Suzanne needs more love.
Lance does too.
And so does this post Continue reading