SNAP OUT OF IT!!! This is a Stupid Post. This is Precisely Why I Re-Post it. Lance!@ Lance ROMANCE! LANCE! at a Glance! Lance! Lance! Lance! Snap Out of it! (If You Don’t Catch The Inter-text ref to “Moonstruck” Stay away from my life. I don’t want you hangin’ around, doggin’ my heels–draggin’ me down.)

SNAP OUT OF IT!!! This is a Stupid Post. This is Precisely Why I Re-Post it. Lance!@ Lance ROMANCE! LANCE! at a Glance! Lance! Lance! Lance! Snap Out of it! (If You Don’t Catch The Inter-text ref to “Moonstruck” Stay away from my life. I don’t want you hangin’ around, doggin’ my heels–draggin’ me down.)

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“Uh, Where’s the Met?” Laughing my fukkin’ ass off “I said something stupid—this has Never Happened Before” Go ahead “Say something stupid Lance.” “Give me time’ I’ll come up with something.” Stupid is Un-Fixable. Just Deal With It as best you can. Lance. Lance!! “Lance!!! Wake The Fuck UP!!”

I’m So Fricken Stupid… I’ve Misplaced My Mind. Cannot Believe I Actually Wrote This Shite! “Daily Lenny: Judge Aaron Albamiser (sp) And This Has Turned Into a Rant. Sorry…” Well, Fuck Me! Word-De-Pressed Will Not Allow Me to Properly Edit This. Imagine My Surprise!

I’m So Fricken Stupid… I’ve Misplaced My Mind. Cannot Believe I Actually Wrote This Shite! “Daily Lenny: Judge Aaron Albamiser (sp) And This Has Turned Into a Rant. Sorry…” Well, Fuck Me! Word-De-Pressed Will Not Allow Me to Properly Edit This. Imagine My Surprise!

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Judge Aaron Albamiser & Lenny Bruce:
“Thick Fingers and a Homemade Glass Eye.”
“A Red-Headed Junk-yard Jew.” Continue reading →

Wh Dom\n’t This Post Get No Lovve/ It is A fukkink Fun Post! (don’t drill down too deep; it gets steep) Letters From Iraq: A Day in the Life of a Camp Manager Serving in a War Zone In Eye Rack. (I’ll Finish Editing This Later: Screw it for Now–Sorry)

Wh Dom\n’t This Post Get No Lovve/ It is A fukkink Fun Post! (don’t drill down too deep; it gets steep) Letters From Iraq: A Day in the Life of a Camp Manager Serving in a War Zone In Eye Rack. (I’ll Finish Editing This Later: Screw it for Now–Sorry)

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An Excerpt from an email I sent from Mosul, late 2008. Victor was a soft-spoken, highly educated and proper gentleman originally from Nigeria. He could not have been more out of place and time. Continue reading →

Sorry Kids. This Requires A Re-Boot. “Hamas, Gaza, IDF, Israel, Intifada, and U.S. (us) And why we should Give A Shit (?)” (Thanks to my Wonderful, Great Friend, Johncoyote) For Reminding Me Thus.

Sorry Kids. This Requires A Re-Boot. “Hamas, Gaza, IDF, Israel, Intifada, and U.S. (us) And why we should Give A Shit (?)” (Thanks to my Wonderful, Great Friend, Johncoyote) For Reminding Me Thus.

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Some of you may know of my history in the Mideast. Most of you may not. Some of you may know I get emotional about issues.
Some of you may not.
Some of you may give a shit.
Some of you may not. Continue reading →

This Post is in Such Serious Desperation for an Edification, or Maybe an Enema. Or Maybe Le Both–Simultaneous. Because I’m A Fukking Idiot. & A Chocolate Mess! And I Approach Life with a Laissez-faire Philosophy. i.e., I do Not Give A Shit. “Escape From Memphis–Chapter Le One”–Re-Load–Have Fun!

This Post is in Such Serious Desperation for an Edification, or Maybe an Enema. Or Maybe Le Both–Simultaneous. Because I’m A Fukking Idiot. & A Chocolate Mess! And I Approach Life with a Laissez-faire Philosophy. i.e., I do Not Give A Shit. “Escape From Memphis–Chapter Le One”–Re-Load–Have Fun!

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The Lamp is broken.
(You’ll have to scroll down)
Must I do ever’thang?

Continue reading →

I Just Awoke From My Self-Induced Coma. “Good Luck Loser-Lance! Twenty-Eight Days & A ‘Wake Up’ You Stupid, Dumb-Ass Fuk!” (Please Scrool D’n To The ‘Good’ Vid: “I’d rather be dreaming than living”)

I Just Awoke From My Self-Induced Coma. “Good Luck Loser-Lance! Twenty-Eight Days & A ‘Wake Up’ You Stupid, Dumb-Ass Fuk!” (Please Scrool D’n To The ‘Good’ Vid: “I’d rather be dreaming than living”)

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How many people have I hurt? How many lives have I dragged down into the muck and mire with mine? How many loving wives and good women have I cast away? Got a Super-Duper Calculator? Continue reading →

This Deserves A Re-Look See Y’all. I Am A-Tryin’ To Preserve My Sanity. HOSPITALS. (“Plural”) Thirteen Days Back-To Back

This Deserves A Re-Look See Y’all. I Am A-Tryin’ To Preserve My Sanity. HOSPITALS. (“Plural”) Thirteen Days Back-To Back

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This is Just the ‘Trailer’ Full Movie Coming Soon To A Theatre Near You. Soon, Very Soon Keeping as a souvenir: (I’ll Never wash that wrist Again!) *** Here is a Clue: Cred: ‘Scared Sober with Delirium Dirk – Real Delirium Tremens and Alcohol Withdrawal‘ **** Street Cred:  ‘Christy Moore’ **** Street Cred: Kris *** … Continue reading →

Did I Actually Write This Shite? I Need to be taken out back and shot. In The Head. Five Times. “Linda & Lance Go To Mars”

Did I Actually Write This Shite? I Need to be taken out back and shot. In The Head. Five Times. “Linda & Lance Go To Mars”

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Yet one more stupid FaceBork Post: “I gotta repost this post and allow me to enlighten and explain to you why:
No. Fuk this. The reason had a short hapless half-life. Continue reading →

I re-post this b’buz my stupursirty is well- documented, “Throw-Back: “The Cowards Never Started and the Weak Died Along the Way” I Died Along The Way. But I Wern’t No Coward.

I re-post this b’buz my stupursirty is well- documented, “Throw-Back: “The Cowards Never Started and the Weak Died Along the Way” I Died Along The Way. But I Wern’t No Coward.

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And Yet One More Post From the email Archives: *** Please tell me all about your therapy session today once it is done. I know a little about back trouble as I went through some during my Navy SEAL training. I know there is nothing worse than that for pain. There were several days during … Continue reading →

Please Revisit—- Do it for an Old Drunken Sailor—-Who is Losing His Fucken Mind—-Must Re-Post–Still In Navy Patriotic Mode!–

Please Revisit—- Do it for an Old Drunken Sailor—-Who is Losing His Fucken Mind—-Must Re-Post–Still In Navy Patriotic Mode!–

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I just recently got back in touch with my “Inner-Blondie” Eighties, and recalled this stupid post.
So, what to do?
Repost it.
Bitch
And never, ever, look for logic here. Go somewhere else.
Continue reading →

FIERCEST LINEBACKER IN THE HISTORY OF LINEBACKERS: Dick Butkus, The Maestro of Mayhem: “Moby Dick in a Goldfish Bowl” Great Line! LMFAO! I don’t think it was meant to be funny in one of the vids, but I laughed my ass off!

FIERCEST LINEBACKER IN THE HISTORY OF LINEBACKERS: Dick Butkus, The Maestro of Mayhem: “Moby Dick in a Goldfish Bowl” Great Line! LMFAO! I don’t think it was meant to be funny in one of the vids, but I laughed my ass off!

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I tried to be as fierce as Dick Butkus.
I came close, but never quite made it.
No one could have.
But I gave it my all. Continue reading →

Y’all Wanna Know The Worst Tactile Sensation Ever? Of Course You Do. Dirty Toilet Jokes: I Cussed My Toilet Out. Then I Felt Remorse. Apologized. I Dialed 911. When the EMT’s Arrived, They Were NOT Amused.

Y’all Wanna Know The Worst Tactile Sensation Ever? Of Course You Do. Dirty Toilet Jokes: I Cussed My Toilet Out. Then I Felt Remorse. Apologized. I Dialed 911. When the EMT’s Arrived, They Were NOT Amused.

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Of course you do.
It is when you go to flush the toilet and that handle snarls back at you, rather limp-wrist’d, as if to say,
“Not tonight Asshole. Go back to sleep.” Continue reading →

I AM TRYIN’ To Clean Up My Potty Mouth. Shit! I even Chewed on a bar of soap for fifteen mins! Obscenity, Vulgarity, Dirty Words, and Toilets. Never my intend to offend. But Sometimes, I Just Cannot Help Myself. I’m working on that. Really Working On That.

I AM TRYIN’ To Clean Up My Potty Mouth. Shit! I even Chewed on a bar of soap for fifteen mins! Obscenity, Vulgarity, Dirty Words, and Toilets. Never my intend to offend. But Sometimes, I Just Cannot Help Myself. I’m working on that. Really Working On That.

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Please Don’t Hate Me Continue reading →

C’om On Y’all! Show Some Love For Rickie Lee! I Caint Hep it! I’ll Fix it Later, Maybe. But Don’t Count On It. Screw it! Imma growin’ weary of Beatin’ a Dead Horsey To Three Times Dead.

C’om On Y’all! Show Some Love For Rickie Lee! I Caint Hep it! I’ll Fix it Later, Maybe. But Don’t Count On It. Screw it! Imma growin’ weary of Beatin’ a Dead Horsey To Three Times Dead.

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No Bullshit Found Here
I love
This Woman
“Your Talk is cheap Lance”
“Go Get Fucked. Like my ‘talk’ now? Pricey enuff for ya?”
Continue reading →

Don’t Bother: It’s Just a Re-Run For Fun. Makes Absolutely No Sense. Makes Me Laugh,, “DEAD GUPPY” ‘Tis A Great Metaphor/Commentary For My Life (Or Maybe One Of My ex-Wifes) I wish I Could Proper Edit this Bitch. But I Can’t. Thank u Word-Press!

Don’t Bother: It’s Just a Re-Run For Fun. Makes Absolutely No Sense. Makes Me Laugh,, “DEAD GUPPY” ‘Tis A Great Metaphor/Commentary For My Life (Or Maybe One Of My ex-Wifes) I wish I Could Proper Edit this Bitch. But I Can’t. Thank u Word-Press!

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Word Press is Fukked Up! I posted this ten minuets ago Continue reading →

(I Absolutely LOVE Judy Garland!) I am Way Too Over-proud of this post: It Too Well Illustrates/Expresses My Patriotism! Please Endeavor to Ac-cent-tchu-ate the Positive! I Love My Country! She Can Have My Life. If She Needs It. (I’m Not Really Usefully Using It Right Now; Nor Really Fond of it Anyhow. Meow.)

(I Absolutely LOVE Judy Garland!) I am Way Too Over-proud of this post: It Too Well Illustrates/Expresses My Patriotism! Please Endeavor to Ac-cent-tchu-ate the Positive! I Love My Country! She Can Have My Life. If She Needs It. (I’m Not Really Usefully Using It Right Now; Nor Really Fond of it Anyhow. Meow.)

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This Post is a WIP
Rest
Assurred
This Asshole
Has not Yet begun
To Fight!
I Shall Re-Turn
For
Now
It is
Yer
Turn
Continue reading →

I Caint Hep it! I am So Much in Love/Lust w/Her: Rickie Lee Teaser! I read Her book, Twice! Cover to Un – Cover…. Under My Covers—This Post Is All Screw’ew Up! I’ll Fix it Later, Maybe. But Don’t Count On It.

I Caint Hep it! I am So Much in Love/Lust w/Her: Rickie Lee Teaser! I read Her book, Twice! Cover to Un – Cover…. Under My Covers—This Post Is All Screw’ew Up! I’ll Fix it Later, Maybe. But Don’t Count On It.

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No Bullshit Found Here
I love
This Woman
“Your Talk is cheap Lance”
“Go Get Fucked. Like my ‘talk’ now? Pricey enuff for ya?”
Continue reading →

Salt Man! Dice Man! Send in the Clowns! They Are Watching Us Now! USA! USA!! USA!!! All The Way!!!!

Salt Man! Dice Man! Send in the Clowns! They Are Watching Us Now! USA! USA!! USA!!! All The Way!!!!

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Send ’em In! Dancing. Joke’s On You! Go Ahead! Yuk It Up! Laugh It Up. Last Laugh’s On You. Drinker Man! Watch the Vids or I Will Kill You Just Joshin’ I Wouldn’t Harm A Fly ****** ****** Dancin’ Clown: **** Salt! **** Dice! Be Nice! “Seven Come Eleven on a Rusty Dime…!” I Won’t … Continue reading →

‘Berta is Very Ill! “Beware The Ides of March!” I’m Worried! I Cannot Lose Her! I Do Not Want To Walk Around On A Planet Without Her On It! This Post is too Emotional—I am all fukked up right meow. She is Eighty and Change. So What? She is Very Strong!

‘Berta is Very Ill! “Beware The Ides of March!” I’m Worried! I Cannot Lose Her! I Do Not Want To Walk Around On A Planet Without Her On It! This Post is too Emotional—I am all fukked up right meow. She is Eighty and Change. So What? She is Very Strong!

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I’m Worried Continue reading →

This is for My Darling Lady, My Roberta, Who Loves Me, Semi-Un-Conditionally, But Who is Ill… Who is Very Ill Right Now. Shit! I don’t Wanna Walk Around on a Planet Without Her On it. She is Eighty. Shit!!!: “Leaf Lady, Brick Walls, Jaguar Engineering, And Driving While Blind” (Cannot Edit This! Fuk It!!)

This is for My Darling Lady, My Roberta, Who Loves Me, Semi-Un-Conditionally, But Who is Ill… Who is Very Ill Right Now. Shit! I don’t Wanna Walk Around on a Planet Without Her On it. She is Eighty. Shit!!!: “Leaf Lady, Brick Walls, Jaguar Engineering, And Driving While Blind” (Cannot Edit This! Fuk It!!)

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Leaf Lady was seriously raking leaves in the midst of a thirty-knot wind across the street from my house. Every time she managed to accumulate a pile the wind would sweep them away. Continue reading →

I Screwed Up This Post—Sorry!==This Seemed To Be Popular. (uP-DATED–Slightly Inebriated—Up-Beat–Positive–XPANDED–Mildly FUKKED wITH)– I Thought “Why Not?–OH Why The Hell Not? Why Not Re-post It? Some May Not Have Seen It–First Time ‘Round Town.”

I Screwed Up This Post—Sorry!==This Seemed To Be Popular. (uP-DATED–Slightly Inebriated—Up-Beat–Positive–XPANDED–Mildly FUKKED wITH)– I Thought “Why Not?–OH Why The Hell Not? Why Not Re-post It? Some May Not Have Seen It–First Time ‘Round Town.”

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Life is a cabaret Continue reading →

I am Still Back-Slidin’ & Pontificatin’ & Ex-cavatin’ & Re-Windin’ & Re-Iteratin’ & Writer’s Block-A-Cadin’—I am only re-Posting This Because I am DRUNK! “Tennis Anyone?” –Didn’t Think So… Perhaps Dinner & A Movie Then? No? Oh, Okay. Have A Nice Day.

I am Still Back-Slidin’ & Pontificatin’ & Ex-cavatin’ & Re-Windin’ & Re-Iteratin’ & Writer’s Block-A-Cadin’—I am only re-Posting This Because I am DRUNK! “Tennis Anyone?” –Didn’t Think So… Perhaps Dinner & A Movie Then? No? Oh, Okay. Have A Nice Day.

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Tennis anyone?
No?
Go f^ck yerself then.
I never liked you anyhow. Continue reading →

I Love Jodie Foster. I Cannot Help It! Dammnt It! She is Perfection! She is Perfect! Perfection In Heels! Perfection In Every Sense Of That Word. Damn! (She Probably Don’t Even Wear High Heels) I Don’t Care! I’d Follow Her Anywhere!

I Love Jodie Foster. I Cannot Help It! Dammnt It! She is Perfection! She is Perfect! Perfection In Heels! Perfection In Every Sense Of That Word. Damn! (She Probably Don’t Even Wear High Heels) I Don’t Care! I’d Follow Her Anywhere!

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Jodie!
Jodie!
Jodie! Continue reading →

I’m Stupid! (I Wish I Could Properly Edit This. GD U WordPress! I CAINT EDIT THIS! WHY NOT? WHY THE F^CK NOT???!! DO I HAVE TO RE-WRITE IT FROM SCRATCH? I Have Not Time Nor Energy For That! FUK U WORDPRESS!!) *BREAKING BAD NEWS!*

I’m Stupid! (I Wish I Could Properly Edit This. GD U WordPress! I CAINT EDIT THIS! WHY NOT? WHY THE F^CK NOT???!! DO I HAVE TO RE-WRITE IT FROM SCRATCH? I Have Not Time Nor Energy For That! FUK U WORDPRESS!!) *BREAKING BAD NEWS!*

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Donny Hathaway – A Song For You Fukking Beautiful Song So Poignant Please Listen “I’ve Acted Out My Life In Stages.” Exclusively Here on TT & Hiero-Glyph! That means you won’t hear it anywhere else! (Because we made it up) The Results are finally in from yesterday’s, recent,  last week’s election! Okay was not last … Continue reading →

C’mon Y’all! This Be a Light-Hearted, Fun Post! “Now I know why London Bridge Fell Down” Be Kind. Rewind (Up-Dated–Expanded–More Insults Added)

C’mon Y’all! This Be a Light-Hearted, Fun Post! “Now I know why London Bridge Fell Down” Be Kind. Rewind (Up-Dated–Expanded–More Insults Added)

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This post needs more love (for personal reasons I’d rather not disclose) Continue reading →

Please Re-visit: Jewel is such a Large Part of My “Like”–I Really Really Really Wanna Write This Post Right Now, But My Thoughts Are Too Burdensome–Too Cumbersome–Too Heavy–Too Dreary–And All At The Same Same Time: Too Happy, If that Makes Some Semblance of Any Sense.

Please Re-visit: Jewel is such a Large Part of My “Like”–I Really Really Really Wanna Write This Post Right Now, But My Thoughts Are Too Burdensome–Too Cumbersome–Too Heavy–Too Dreary–And All At The Same Same Time: Too Happy, If that Makes Some Semblance of Any Sense.

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Leave Me! I am Not Fit For Human Interaction

It is All About My Country, My America, My Military… N/M… Later Perhaps, When I Get Drunk Enough. And No Longer Care Enough To Give a Fuk Continue reading →

I Am In Love With Love: Courtney Variety. “It is with no small bit of Trepidation…” (And the Fonts are All F*cked UP–Caint Fix ‘Em===Thank U WordPress!)

I Am In Love With Love: Courtney Variety. “It is with no small bit of Trepidation…” (And the Fonts are All F*cked UP–Caint Fix ‘Em===Thank U WordPress!)

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Courtney! Continue reading →

What Went Wrong With Lance? I Have But Few Words… That’s Bullshit. I have lots of Words. I Purchased Them. I Have the Receipts. Lots of shit added to this post. Now I just need to fly away Renee from it. Fast as I Can. As Fast As My Little Wings Will Fly Me.

What Went Wrong With Lance? I Have But Few Words… That’s Bullshit. I have lots of Words. I Purchased Them. I Have the Receipts. Lots of shit added to this post. Now I just need to fly away Renee from it. Fast as I Can. As Fast As My Little Wings Will Fly Me.

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I ‘re-worked’ this. Actually, I went off the rails and got lost in Rant-Land—do not read.

Sometimes, when I look around, I get sad.
Then I get angry.
Then I get really pissed.
I may think too much
(or drink too much)
Vote in the poll
HBO
I need to know. Continue reading →

I need…. Never F&cking Look down!=wQTo be aPi=Down Droewn— at t te very least! NOT Look At This! Let Alone READ It! TRIGGER WARNING! This Post is Obnoxious & Insulting, But It Accurately Depicts My Mood At The Time I Wrote it. I NEVER Lie to Y’all. –Updated! Had to Add Some Linda at The End–Cannot Believe I Forgot! This Post is all Fucked UP. Guess What? I No Longer Dare to CArE! Don’t GIvE A sHiT! fUcK IT! “Hearts are like AssHoles; eVer’one gOts one!”

I need…. Never F&cking Look down!=wQTo be aPi=Down Droewn— at t te very least! NOT Look At This! Let Alone READ It! TRIGGER WARNING! This Post is Obnoxious & Insulting, But It Accurately Depicts My Mood At The Time I Wrote it. I NEVER Lie to Y’all. –Updated! Had to Add Some Linda at The End–Cannot Believe I Forgot! This Post is all Fucked UP. Guess What? I No Longer Dare to CArE! Don’t GIvE A sHiT! fUcK IT! “Hearts are like AssHoles; eVer’one gOts one!”

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Do NOT READ THIS
It is Depressing
Lo siento mi vida Continue reading →

Fuk it! I’ll Real Pos’r=Ize if, over-size’d & Over-Criticized, Ostracized, — Cuz n’ I’m am, Who I Yam. A Just a Man…”Fore Real” Ass-Hole” Asshole– Hamsterdam? What I am! (Apologies to ‘The Wire’- Wonderful TV Series) I cannot edeit This. Fuk it! Call Me “Popeye The Sailor Man” I Live in a Garbage Can” I eats me Spinach!”

Fuk it! I’ll Real Pos’r=Ize if, over-size’d & Over-Criticized, Ostracized, — Cuz n’ I’m am, Who I Yam. A Just a Man…”Fore Real” Ass-Hole” Asshole– Hamsterdam? What I am! (Apologies to ‘The Wire’- Wonderful TV Series) I cannot edeit This. Fuk it! Call Me “Popeye The Sailor Man” I Live in a Garbage Can” I eats me Spinach!”

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Way back in the day when I was a wee child and living in Kansas City with My Daddy and my Evil Step-Mom DJ, I had a pet hamster.
He Died. Continue reading →

Screw it! I’ll Just Re-Post it! “Hello Minefield In The Sand” “FTW” Famous Navy Tatoo: “Fuck The World!” WP Fucked This Post Up. WordPress is Stupid, Not Intuitive. I’ll Endeavor To Fix. But Do Not With-Hold Yer Licks If you beg to differ

Screw it! I’ll Just Re-Post it! “Hello Minefield In The Sand” “FTW” Famous Navy Tatoo: “Fuck The World!” WP Fucked This Post Up. WordPress is Stupid, Not Intuitive. I’ll Endeavor To Fix. But Do Not With-Hold Yer Licks If you beg to differ

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To an Unfeeling Landmine Continue reading →

Still Feelin’ Sorry for my Lost Life, But I Have My Miseries/Memories: “If You Don’t Mine, It Don’t Matter” (And I still cannnot spell ‘Kat’ Fu*K– Dat)

Still Feelin’ Sorry for my Lost Life, But I Have My Miseries/Memories: “If You Don’t Mine, It Don’t Matter” (And I still cannnot spell ‘Kat’ Fu*K– Dat)

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There is sand in the Sinai Desert. Lots of sand. There is wind in the Sinai Desert. Lots of wind. There are landmines in the Sinai Desert. Lots of landmines, some dating back to the ’56 war. Most of them are still functional. Continue reading →

Did I Recently Re-Post This? Screw It! Here It Is Again! Slightly Expanded ‘TA’ Does Not Always Mean ‘Tits an’ Ass’

Did I Recently Re-Post This? Screw It! Here It Is Again! Slightly Expanded ‘TA’ Does Not Always Mean ‘Tits an’ Ass’

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Is This Asshole an Asshole?
Yep Continue reading →

Re-Spam. WTF is WRONG W/Me? I Need to Write Some New Shit. “You Can’t Lie to A Blank Page” TEXAS WOMEN Ed. Note: Most Ev’thang I Write is “Tongue-in-Greek”–If Yu Don’t Realize This, You Probably Should’ve Taken That Other Turn At Albaquirky

Re-Spam. WTF is WRONG W/Me? I Need to Write Some New Shit. “You Can’t Lie to A Blank Page” TEXAS WOMEN Ed. Note: Most Ev’thang I Write is “Tongue-in-Greek”–If Yu Don’t Realize This, You Probably Should’ve Taken That Other Turn At Albaquirky

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“That’s right; you’re not from Texas.” Continue reading →

I am just gonna re-post this to make it easier for a friend of mine to find. “Now I know why London Bridge Fell Down” Be Kind. Rewind

I am just gonna re-post this to make it easier for a friend of mine to find. “Now I know why London Bridge Fell Down” Be Kind. Rewind

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This post needs more love (for personal reasons I’d rather not disclose) Continue reading →

Not Sure I ‘Should’ Re-post This One “Shhhh” There may be Yankees Lurking about… Honestly, I don’t even remember ‘building’ it. Oh Well, I must have; it has my name Attached. “I LOVE SOUTHERN! Revisit Please! I Put A Lot of My Time & Inebriated Energy / Soul Into It. HAHAHAHA! (Never mind–Move Along–Nothin’ To See Here)”

Not Sure I ‘Should’ Re-post This One “Shhhh” There may be Yankees Lurking about… Honestly, I don’t even remember ‘building’ it. Oh Well, I must have; it has my name Attached. “I LOVE SOUTHERN! Revisit Please! I Put A Lot of My Time & Inebriated Energy / Soul Into It. HAHAHAHA! (Never mind–Move Along–Nothin’ To See Here)”

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I LOVE THE SOUTH! Continue reading →

Whilst I Am Wallooning’ About In The Muck & Mire of My All Alon’d Pity-Party-Beer & Tryin’ How to Remember How to Spel…Over Lost Loved Pets And Tryin’ So Desperate Hard to Rem An’… Fergit It! “The Funeral (DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU LOVE CATS) You have been warned.” Lance Note: I Very Rarely Give A Shit ‘Bout People, But I ALWAYS Give A Shit About Animals And Screw U Wp! I want to Fukkin’ Edit This! Just Want To Drop in Some ‘Proper’ Links! To Make it Somewhat Easier For All Three of my Readers! Fuk Am I Payn For Here???

Whilst I Am Wallooning’ About In The Muck & Mire of My All Alon’d Pity-Party-Beer & Tryin’ How to Remember How to Spel…Over Lost Loved Pets And Tryin’ So Desperate Hard to Rem An’… Fergit It! “The Funeral (DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU LOVE CATS) You have been warned.” Lance Note: I Very Rarely Give A Shit ‘Bout People, But I ALWAYS Give A Shit About Animals And Screw U Wp! I want to Fukkin’ Edit This! Just Want To Drop in Some ‘Proper’ Links! To Make it Somewhat Easier For All Three of my Readers! Fuk Am I Payn For Here???

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This is a fucked up sad, true story.
I need to not dwell.
Oh Well.
Sometimes revisited grief is the best kind. It clears the sinuses…. Continue reading →

Sometimes, Oft Times, I Feel His Presence. Right Behind Me And I Steal A Glance Over My Shoulder & Catch Him Taking His Half Of Our Bed From The Middle, As Was Always His Wont.

Sometimes, Oft Times, I Feel His Presence. Right Behind Me And I Steal A Glance Over My Shoulder & Catch Him Taking His Half Of Our Bed From The Middle, As Was Always His Wont.

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Dana Perino recently lost her Vizsla. I know how much that hurts. They are special dogs. The loss of Henry really fucked me up. I have yet to recover. Continue reading →

Still? Nav Mode? Bullshit! Always in Sailor Mode! “Sea–Somewhat of a Stream of Almost Consciousness” And Somewhat Of A “Confession” RE: My Previous Post. Don’t Grow Too ‘Comfortable’ With This Side Of Me Cannot Properly Edit This. (Thanks Wanker WordPress!) Sorry Y’all for Some Redundancies. I Can’t Fix STUPID–wORDpRESS

Still? Nav Mode? Bullshit! Always in Sailor Mode! “Sea–Somewhat of a Stream of Almost Consciousness” And Somewhat Of A “Confession” RE: My Previous Post. Don’t Grow Too ‘Comfortable’ With This Side Of Me Cannot Properly Edit This. (Thanks Wanker WordPress!) Sorry Y’all for Some Redundancies. I Can’t Fix STUPID–wORDpRESS

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OK
Sometimes I Have Been
(Slightly)
Scared At Sea Continue reading →

Recycled, Expan’Dex Post Re-Run-Red “ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! TAKE COVER! TAKE COVER! PROCEED IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR NEAREST & DEAREST BUNKER!” (Heard This ‘Broad-Cast’–Yes, The “Voice” From ‘The BIG VOICE Was Female UK BROAD) Damn Near Ev’r Night Over. Those Assholes NEVER Showed The Common Courtesy To Rocket Us During Daylight Hours.

Recycled, Expan’Dex Post Re-Run-Red “ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! TAKE COVER! TAKE COVER! PROCEED IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR NEAREST & DEAREST BUNKER!” (Heard This ‘Broad-Cast’–Yes, The “Voice” From ‘The BIG VOICE Was Female UK BROAD) Damn Near Ev’r Night Over. Those Assholes NEVER Showed The Common Courtesy To Rocket Us During Daylight Hours.

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I Have This Most Important Poingnant Regret! Continue reading →

“Alcoholics,” or As Janis Oft Refrained: “I Don’t Do Drugs: I’m A ‘Juicer'” (Of Course, She Was Lying)–She Did Everything! Sadly, That’s How We Came To Lose Her In Nineteen Seventy. Broke My Heart. Truly Did

“Alcoholics,” or As Janis Oft Refrained: “I Don’t Do Drugs: I’m A ‘Juicer'” (Of Course, She Was Lying)–She Did Everything! Sadly, That’s How We Came To Lose Her In Nineteen Seventy. Broke My Heart. Truly Did

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Vice is nice
But Liquor is
Quicker Continue reading →

UPDATED / Expanded! Turned Into A Bit Of A Mini-Rant, But Y’all Know How I Tend To Roll… “Should I Continue This Series? Fishin’ for Encouragement Here. or Maybe I am Just Lonely… Who knows? No One, I suppose … “Rent – A – Sailor: Part One”

UPDATED / Expanded! Turned Into A Bit Of A Mini-Rant, But Y’all Know How I Tend To Roll… “Should I Continue This Series? Fishin’ for Encouragement Here. or Maybe I am Just Lonely… Who knows? No One, I suppose … “Rent – A – Sailor: Part One”

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We were steaming along in the South Pacific one day when word came down the pike that we had new orders to sail to Sydney. Continue reading →

Very Flightly Expanded: I’m Gonna Re-Post This B’cuz I’m An Idiot & It Is A Shakespearean Kind-o-Day–Please Re-Vist This! I Need Some Courage To Finish It! There is too Much Macbeth/Hamlet in Me! “Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store, Chapter Five: “I Have Done The Deed! Sleep No More!” Stay Away From Me! Lady Mac’Bee!”

Very Flightly Expanded: I’m Gonna Re-Post This B’cuz I’m An Idiot & It Is A Shakespearean Kind-o-Day–Please Re-Vist This! I Need Some Courage To Finish It! There is too Much Macbeth/Hamlet in Me! “Richard’s Lame-Ass Jeans Store, Chapter Five: “I Have Done The Deed! Sleep No More!” Stay Away From Me! Lady Mac’Bee!”

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I’m Gonna Re-Post This B’cuz I Am An Idiot & It Is A Shakespeare Kind-o-Day Continue reading →

Updated With Dice! (Fresh Outta Ice–Which Really Ain’t A Problem for me) Laughin’ My Fukkin’ Azz Off! Our New National Media Holiday: “January Sixth Day” I’ll Get Back to Y’all On This Bull-Shite. Trust Me: I’m With The Government. ‘Tis Still A Work-In-Progress–Or A WID–Workin’ in Digress. Meantime: Fu*k You cNn!

Updated With Dice! (Fresh Outta Ice–Which Really Ain’t A Problem for me) Laughin’ My Fukkin’ Azz Off! Our New National Media Holiday: “January Sixth Day” I’ll Get Back to Y’all On This Bull-Shite. Trust Me: I’m With The Government. ‘Tis Still A Work-In-Progress–Or A WID–Workin’ in Digress. Meantime: Fu*k You cNn!

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What?
Who’s Callin’?
NCA
MBA?
FBI?
Ok
I’ll Try to go
Quietly
But No Promises Continue reading →

I Wanna Write So Much More About Israel, But I Cannot Do Her Justice Right Now. There Are Too Many Unsaid Words Left To Say,,,, I’ll Get to them. Just Gimmie Some Times & Some Dimes… I Spent Way Too Much Time And Left Too Many Bits and Pieces of my Mind & Heart & Soul Scattered All Over that Beautiful Land. Israel–I Cannot Work This Post Right— I Get Too Emotional. If Yu Have read Me, Yu Know Why

I Wanna Write So Much More About Israel, But I Cannot Do Her Justice Right Now. There Are Too Many Unsaid Words Left To Say,,,, I’ll Get to them. Just Gimmie Some Times & Some Dimes… I Spent Way Too Much Time And Left Too Many Bits and Pieces of my Mind & Heart & Soul Scattered All Over that Beautiful Land. Israel–I Cannot Work This Post Right— I Get Too Emotional. If Yu Have read Me, Yu Know Why

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I Love Israel
I Really Love the won=Mikl Wowen,
Duh! Continue reading →

I Know Y’all Have Read This b4, But It Is Just Too Funny & Light-Heart’d (And Heavy, If You Drill down too far) And May Just Give You A Laugh And Brighten Your Day “The Best Wife” I am just trying, peddling fast as I can to add some goof to your aloof: Pls forgive me if I fail to always deliver. I really am trying to do better

I Know Y’all Have Read This b4, But It Is Just Too Funny & Light-Heart’d (And Heavy, If You Drill down too far) And May Just Give You A Laugh And Brighten Your Day “The Best Wife” I am just trying, peddling fast as I can to add some goof to your aloof: Pls forgive me if I fail to always deliver. I really am trying to do better

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Martha was the best. Martha on Ernest: “He was about as useful as a stuffed squirrel.” Continue reading →

I’m Just Re-Cycling, And Feeling Lonely & Sororry For Me & Reminiscing… Had To Update & Re-Post. I Forgot To Drop In The Navy Hymn. I Am Such A Moron!—Fixed Now. Time For Chow! On Today’s Menu: ‘Hydraulic Sandwiches’ “I Fukkin’ LOVE MY NAVY! I Always Shall.

I’m Just Re-Cycling, And Feeling Lonely & Sororry For Me & Reminiscing… Had To Update & Re-Post. I Forgot To Drop In The Navy Hymn. I Am Such A Moron!—Fixed Now. Time For Chow! On Today’s Menu: ‘Hydraulic Sandwiches’ “I Fukkin’ LOVE MY NAVY! I Always Shall.

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I feel so honored to have been allowed to serve on two ships in two war zones and given the opportunity to attend SEAL training, even though I did not measure up, at least I showed up.

Twice Continue reading →

Someone Re-Liked This Post, So I thought I’d Re-Post. I am Proud of it! Hahahahahah! (I love my Readers; all five of Y’all–Thank Y’all For Making My Life Enjoyable & Thank Y’all For Your Support) “Step-Back Saturday! A Re-Post! “Zen and the Art of Commentary Maintenance”

Someone Re-Liked This Post, So I thought I’d Re-Post. I am Proud of it! Hahahahahah! (I love my Readers; all five of Y’all–Thank Y’all For Making My Life Enjoyable & Thank Y’all For Your Support) “Step-Back Saturday! A Re-Post! “Zen and the Art of Commentary Maintenance”

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Likes and Loves and Laughing Faces
Thumbs up Thumbs up
We’re off to the races! Continue reading →

I Am Re-Posting Because of My Love For My Cousin–Who Loves Me Not–I lover U Karmen! Gett ov’r it! “Rita!” Run, Rita Run! Run! Away! Fast as You Can! I Am Wearing Broken Headphones, Listening Thru A Broken Life. Four Lost Wifes! What Else Ya Got God? To Throw at Me? Fuk Yu God! and That ass yer Son supposedly rode in on.

I Am Re-Posting Because of My Love For My Cousin–Who Loves Me Not–I lover U Karmen! Gett ov’r it! “Rita!” Run, Rita Run! Run! Away! Fast as You Can! I Am Wearing Broken Headphones, Listening Thru A Broken Life. Four Lost Wifes! What Else Ya Got God? To Throw at Me? Fuk Yu God! and That ass yer Son supposedly rode in on.

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Sometimes I am ashamed of the things I do
but
this is a rare occurrence Continue reading →

I Really Really Really Wanna Write This Post Right Now, But My Thoughts Are Too Burdensome–Too Cumbersome–Too Heavy–Too Dreary–And All At The Same Same Time: Too Happy, If that Makes Some Semblance of Any Sense.

I Really Really Really Wanna Write This Post Right Now, But My Thoughts Are Too Burdensome–Too Cumbersome–Too Heavy–Too Dreary–And All At The Same Same Time: Too Happy, If that Makes Some Semblance of Any Sense.

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Leave Me! I am Not Fit For Human Interaction

It is All About My Country, My America, My Military… N/M… Later Perhaps, When I Get Drunk Enough. And No Longer Care Enough To Give a Fuk Continue reading →

Just For Reference & Deference, And Yes, I Know I am an Obnoxious Asshole. Pounding readers Over-the-Head With My Opinions. Sorry–Not Sorry! You Pay Your Money, You take Your Chances. “Rent – A – Sailor Part Two: Topsy-Turvy” No Worries. I did up-date it… a little bit–I Don’t Wanna COMPLETELY Waste Your Dime, nor Your Time

Just For Reference & Deference, And Yes, I Know I am an Obnoxious Asshole. Pounding readers Over-the-Head With My Opinions. Sorry–Not Sorry! You Pay Your Money, You take Your Chances. “Rent – A – Sailor Part Two: Topsy-Turvy” No Worries. I did up-date it… a little bit–I Don’t Wanna COMPLETELY Waste Your Dime, nor Your Time

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Up is Down Down is Up Apropos For Now, Eh? We had three days steaming time to kill on our way to That ‘That Land Down Under’. Continue reading →

UPDATED! Turned Into A Bit Of A Mini-Rant, But Y’all Know How I Am “Should I Continue This Series? (There is… There ACTUALLY Is, A Lot More to the Story) Fishin’ for Encouragement Here. or, Maybe I am Just Lonely… Who knows? No One, I suppose … “Rent – A – Sailor: Part One”

UPDATED! Turned Into A Bit Of A Mini-Rant, But Y’all Know How I Am “Should I Continue This Series? (There is… There ACTUALLY Is, A Lot More to the Story) Fishin’ for Encouragement Here. or, Maybe I am Just Lonely… Who knows? No One, I suppose … “Rent – A – Sailor: Part One”

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We were steaming along in the South Pacific one day when word came down the pike that we had new orders to sail to Sydney. Continue reading →

May Be Worth A Re-Look-See. Then Again, Maybe Not–“What did YOU do in The War Daddy? Daddy?? DADDY!?? Are You My Daddy?” “Dunno Girl. You from Olongapo City, PI? Dubai? Or Sydney Aussie? Or Mombasa? Or Hong Kong or Amman, or Tel Aviv, or Cairo? or Waco? Please tell me Y’all ain’t from Waco! That Would Ruin my day!…. Catch My Drift? Oh Never Mind! What’s your DNA say? If I broke it, I’ll buy it”

May Be Worth A Re-Look-See. Then Again, Maybe Not–“What did YOU do in The War Daddy? Daddy?? DADDY!?? Are You My Daddy?” “Dunno Girl. You from Olongapo City, PI? Dubai? Or Sydney Aussie? Or Mombasa? Or Hong Kong or Amman, or Tel Aviv, or Cairo? or Waco? Please tell me Y’all ain’t from Waco! That Would Ruin my day!…. Catch My Drift? Oh Never Mind! What’s your DNA say? If I broke it, I’ll buy it”

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It’s Fittin’ Or it isn’t. ‘Fittin’’ No! It WAS Fittin’! Very Much So! So Well-Deserved! Bravo to You Hattie! Continue reading →

Up-Dated–Expanded–Major Re-Write–Memp-iphany: Yes! Elvis Has Left The Building. And, By-The-Way!–Fuk Yu Word-Press!—Why Cannot I Do a Simple Edit? You Want More of My Money??? Go Get Wrecked! Fix Your Shit!

Up-Dated–Expanded–Major Re-Write–Memp-iphany: Yes! Elvis Has Left The Building. And, By-The-Way!–Fuk Yu Word-Press!—Why Cannot I Do a Simple Edit? You Want More of My Money??? Go Get Wrecked! Fix Your Shit!

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I kinda miss Memphis
No.
Not really.
I am a liar.
Believe nothing I say or write.
It’s All
Bull-Shite! Continue reading →

Please Re-Visit This. (Expanded) I Am Right Over-Proud Of It–True Story. Never Fails to Amuse Me: (I Cannot B’Leave I Wrote this Shit!) But I did Invest Some Time & Work Into It. No Shit! …. Brings Some Tears to My Eyes—Happy & Sad—I Am Just A Sentimental Old Fool!—“A Raccoon’s Tale”

Please Re-Visit This. (Expanded) I Am Right Over-Proud Of It–True Story. Never Fails to Amuse Me: (I Cannot B’Leave I Wrote this Shit!) But I did Invest Some Time & Work Into It. No Shit! …. Brings Some Tears to My Eyes—Happy & Sad—I Am Just A Sentimental Old Fool!—“A Raccoon’s Tale”

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My Mind?
Huh? Continue reading →

I’m Too Stupid To be Stupid. So I Am Gonna Re-post This—Just For ‘Fun’. “Emails From Afghanistan: My Boss, ‘That Guy I Wouldn’t Want Running An Elevator For Me’ (Re-Written/Expanded)”

I’m Too Stupid To be Stupid. So I Am Gonna Re-post This—Just For ‘Fun’. “Emails From Afghanistan: My Boss, ‘That Guy I Wouldn’t Want Running An Elevator For Me’ (Re-Written/Expanded)”

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(Ed. Note: I reached way down into the archives and re-worked this one) LSA TWO OFFICE “LSA”-“Life Support Area”-or in the local vernacular aka: “Life Sucks Ass.” Yet another email I dispatched from Camp Dwyer, 2012: Around 1730hrs a truck pulls up outside my office at LSA Two. I didn’t see who was in the … Continue reading →

Kinda/Sorta Up-Dated & Expanded. Rerun ALERT! I Miss MY Former “REAL” LIFE! “Letter From a South Park Jail” Part Four: “Homeward Bound” I Especially Miss That Poo Pond In Kandahar. No Shit. Pun Intended.

Kinda/Sorta Up-Dated & Expanded. Rerun ALERT! I Miss MY Former “REAL” LIFE! “Letter From a South Park Jail” Part Four: “Homeward Bound” I Especially Miss That Poo Pond In Kandahar. No Shit. Pun Intended.

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C’mon Y’all!
This post needs your love.
Watch the vids if nothing else
They are brilliant!
(not mine)
But I “lived” The Experience for almost two years! Continue reading →

This Post Is A Chocolate Mess. Tried To Edit It. But Guess What? Word-Press Stepped In & Saved Me From My Sin.–TY WP For Havin’ My Back.

This Post Is A Chocolate Mess. Tried To Edit It. But Guess What? Word-Press Stepped In & Saved Me From My Sin.–TY WP For Havin’ My Back.

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My Mind is Gone!
I May Have Too Much Time on My Hands!
Perhaps I Should get A Job?
Naw!
Fuck That! Continue reading →

Read Please. I Think This a Good “No-Shitter Story” Even if a Mite Longish. “No Bare Feet Beyond This Point” (This is a ‘Re-Constructed Old Post.’ No Alcoholic Beverages Were Harmed, Nor Consumed While Operating The Requisite Heavy Machinery During The Successful Completion of This Project) P.S. Look For The Historical Article At The End

Read Please. I Think This a Good “No-Shitter Story” Even if a Mite Longish. “No Bare Feet Beyond This Point” (This is a ‘Re-Constructed Old Post.’ No Alcoholic Beverages Were Harmed, Nor Consumed While Operating The Requisite Heavy Machinery During The Successful Completion of This Project) P.S. Look For The Historical Article At The End

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I grew into manhood in the Sinai Desert: 1977-1980. Missed out on Disco, but it was damn well worth it..

Everyone Hated DISCO Anyway Continue reading →

I Really Don’t Like to Use Euphemisms, Clichés, Vapid Expressions, ‘Nice-Polite-Speech,’ Trite Sayings, Bull-Shite! I Hate That! With All My Might! It’s Like Wearing Chain Leggings After A Ship Wreck and Yer Just Hoping To Reach The Beach. But To Be Completely Honest With My Readers, (Which I Have Always Promised to Be)… Trying to Mend My Speech Runs So Contrary Against My Sanity. I’m Just Sayin’. Still Waters Run Deep. Please Try To Remember That.

I Really Don’t Like to Use Euphemisms, Clichés, Vapid Expressions, ‘Nice-Polite-Speech,’ Trite Sayings, Bull-Shite! I Hate That! With All My Might! It’s Like Wearing Chain Leggings After A Ship Wreck and Yer Just Hoping To Reach The Beach. But To Be Completely Honest With My Readers, (Which I Have Always Promised to Be)… Trying to Mend My Speech Runs So Contrary Against My Sanity. I’m Just Sayin’. Still Waters Run Deep. Please Try To Remember That.

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Don’t Be a Cliché
Okay?
And never be ‘nice’
I hate ‘nice’
Nice is just mice
And I am a fucking cat
A black one with attitude. Continue reading →