And She is Scottish! (And Y’all Know I love Scottish Women) Uncle Bob! Very Happy Upbeat Song! Is this Love! (Video Credit: DARK FIRE30) I’m Really Really REALLY infatuated with Erin Burnette. I don’t even know why. Maybe because she is smart. And so well-educated. This draws me. Like a moth to a flame. I … Continue reading
(“Babes, Info: Plural. Colloquial.”)—Lance Webster ******** I am not a fan of Babe Ruth (Or of His Candy Bar) I am not a Fan of ‘Babes-In-Toy-Land’ I am not a Fan of Fukked – Up Word-Depressed ‘Customer-Service’ Babes I am not a fan of ‘Babe The Pig‘ I am not a fan of Babe Actresses … Continue reading
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Continue reading
I Throw Excuses at Me for Not Writing: ‘Too Early’‘Too Late’‘Too Hot’‘Too Cold’‘Too wet’‘Too Dry’‘Too Sober’ ‘Too Drunk’ ‘Oh Wait!—There’s ‘Breaking News on CNN!’ (I am far too Easily Distracted!) Eventually, I empty out my ‘Excuses-Bag-of-Tricks’ Then I Park My Ass On The ‘Writing Chair’ And I Begin trying to write. (I have SO Much … Continue reading
Yes, this is a ‘Shit Post’ Fuck it! But it is a light-hearted Shit Post Continue reading
Fuck Flies! Continue reading
I got a new power supply, But The Ded One Refuses To Give up The Ghost! I cannot get All The shit I had plugged into it unplugged! I Am even Bleedin’ Over This Bullshite Why is My Life So Fuckin’ Difficult? It should be a Simple Thing To Replace A Fuckin’ Comp Power Supply! … Continue reading
BACKSEAT OF MY CAR (This is Some of Paul’s Best Work—So Many Memories of Memories I Cherish of Listening to This Fuckking Album With Mostly Now Dead Lost Friends—I am Gonna Go Cry Now For A While—BRB!) “Here in Savannah Memphis it’s pourin’ rain “Palm trees in the porch light like slick black cellophane. “Will … Continue reading
Now I’m gonna Lay Me Down to Sleep Forever (and Three Days) Oh Happy Fukkin’ Dagger! And Just Because I Have a Sense of HUMOR: OH MY Gawd! JULIE! JULIE Julie! How Do I LoveThee? I CANNOT COUNT THE WAYS! All The Ways That I Love YOU! You Girl! ARE Fukkin’ Brilliant!!!! A Fukkin’ TREASURE! … Continue reading
I’LL EXPAND ON THIS RIGHT AFTER I GET DONE THROWING MY TELEVISON AND CNN THROUGH MY FUKKIN’ WINDOW THE HOLE IS ALREADY THERE! NO LARGE DEAL! “Barely an Inconvience” (Yeah I stole that line too!) That’s What Puts The “Social” In “Social Media!” https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2iUwfYi_1FCGGqhOUNx-iA
Hey WordPress! Got a telegram for YOU! An’ Ya Know Whut WP? As Ron White Famouslously Sez: “You Caint Fix STUPID!” Cred: Ron White (Duh!) Author’s Note: Y’all wanna know why I am still up-in-Worpress’s Ass? Be-Fuckin’ Cause EVER’TIME I try to Upload, Download, Sideways Load, Up-Side-down-load Any Kind of LOAD WP Gives Me ATTITUDE! … Continue reading
Time. Time to git over it all.
20 Years of …
But, forgive them Chicks.
Those were heady times, chock full of emotion.
Go fuck yerself then.
I never liked you anyhow. Continue reading
Likes and Loves and Laughing Faces
Thumbs up Thumbs up
We’re off to the races! Continue reading
Or…. Why is the rum gone? Black Hair Black Eyes Bright Smile Great Thighs Wily Words From Her Mouth Gave No Pause Left No Doubt Words Delivered With Such Charm Better Watch Out You’ll Be Disarmed Your Walls Came Crashing Down Your Weapons On The Ground She Was Standing There (Laughing At My … Continue reading
i MISS HER RAPIER WIT!
i WAS iNSTANT IN FUKKKIN LOVE WITH HER! Continue reading
This Post is a WIP
Has not Yet begun
I Shall Re-Turn
I still miss her. “Maria” (And some guy) Madelyn & Me! Me & Madelyn! On-The-Stage! Stars! She & Me! Me & She! We had to share The Spotlight, but “The Play” Was always about HER Not Me As it should be. ******* She ‘Maria’ to My ‘Cap’n Von Trapp’ “Sound of Music” HS Play: Circa … Continue reading
I once knew a Theist named Kent
He told me his Joy Heaven Sent
But his mind slipped a gear
His faith fled in fear
So I gave up on Kent for Lent Continue reading
“I’m gonna blow this damn candle out.” Continue reading
On the appointed day I dutifully showed up at the Hunt County Courthouse (in a borrowed car) along with about one hundred twenty thusly cursed potential selectees. Continue reading
What’s it all about? I am Atheist, Capital A Have Been Ever Since I Learned To Read This will never change. Everyone knows this. I am Not Militant About it! But Some “Hyper Christians Keep Trying to “Save” Me! Save Me From What? Yes, I have Theist Friends. I live in a State Flush With … Continue reading
“Do you have a point?” “Yes.” “What is it?” Pregnant pause. “So, you don’t have a point?” “Uh….” “When you discover your point, get back to me. If you want me, I’ll be in the bar.” Cred: Cilla Black – Alfie (Official Video) If you don’t…. listen…. Joni…. N/M I’ve grow weary of beating this … Continue reading
Here is how bar fines are not designed to work:
You do NOT Lose it. (Your receipt)
You broke it; you bought it.
You hand over your receipt to your rental so she can leave you. Continue reading
This post needs.
Mo Madonna Love
I love this woman.
If you have a brain, you do tool. You tool
She moves my body in ways my body ain’t supposed/designed to move. Continue reading
Afg has brought me Pain Againe. Picking up from the last half-chapter… Matt, Rogers, and I were in Viva Young. I had been smitten. But the smite –her was elusive, so Matt and I retired to the pool tables. Me hoping to fleece him outta some beer money. He hoping for good conversation and Lance … Continue reading
The scariest thing to me… Was at sea. In the Indian Ocean, late one night (That “IO” That Ho!) Late at Night. And the ship was tight. And the waves were big. Real big. IO, She was angry. And I was scared. (No! HE Was scared). I was never scared! I was drinking coffee… And … Continue reading
When last we left our Boys they had arrived at Viva Young not unlike victorious Roman Legionaries returning from Gaul—The Conquering Heroes—welcomed with gleeful squeals of joy and happiness by the Girls. Continue reading
I just had to have some chat with her.
And By God, I would.
I became useless for the rest of the evening.
Magsaysay was a little more frenetic than usual for a hot, humid sunny day.
Or maybe it was my imagination.
“Matt,” I remarked as we sauntered down the street heading for Viva Young, “Seem a little busy today?”
“It’s a Filipino holiday,” he said.
“No shit? What’s the occasion?”
“I thought the Filipinos despised him.”
“They do. This holiday commemorates that poison arrow they planted in his ass back in Fifteen Twenty-One.”
I actually gave this some serious thought earlier today. And truthfully I was inspired by a post I read over yonder at P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S. We were talking about optimism. Well Sharon was but it got me to thinking. (Scary, yeah.) Anyhow, I had this post develop in my head. A post about good and bad. A post … Continue reading
They have an entire Department At WP!
It is Called
“The Department of How We Can Fuck Things UP” Continue reading
Baby! Continue reading
There is still such a thing as “Good People.” Continue reading
DANGER WILL ROBINSON! Continue reading
Since I have decided to give my disease another go at me, I thought this appropriate. Continue reading
Maggie and Hala Used to Sing This Song around The Office In Amman. They Were So Charming! I miss them so much! (I Have Photos, But They are On My Broken Computer–Shit!) **** Jordan How many women have I loved (and lost)??? Better Dust off that TI Calculator I worked in Amman Jordan for six … Continue reading
“Hey Lance!” she exclaimed. “Come look at this shit! There are little teeny-tiny soap bars in the bathroom. And little baby shampoo bottles! And some paper thingy on the toilet. How I’m supposed to pee with that paper there? And look at this!” she said, walking out of the head and back into the room, “There’s a coffee pot and Coffee! And Look at this here! A Remote Control for the TeeVee!” Continue reading
Las Vegas And pondering why I love the TV show, ‘Nashville’ so much. Here goes: Many a time while stationed in San Diego, I would make a spur of the moment decision to drive the five hours to Vegas. Occasionally with a buddy or two after closing down a bar somewhere downtown San Dog. Once … Continue reading
****** “Look What They Done To My Brain” Street Cred for Vid: amonem ****** Fuck You Bob! (Ed Note: This Post is Becoming more and more about Melanie, and less and less about Dylan. My Original intent was to do a Dylan Bit. I Got Distracted) The more I discover about this woman, the more … Continue reading
Something is broken in my mindl
Vice is nice.
Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker
A Charming Darling Continue reading
(I still love you Baby!) But I had to go See way below… For all the reasons this is so English!I love everything English/British!I had one once.She drove me crazy!I was no longer the smartest in the room.She made me crazy I still love her And I still miss her Marvelous much Woe is me … Continue reading
I said, “Do you wish me dead?” Lip service to books you’ve read Articles on how to bed a bird in flight You called it love I called it greed You say, “You take what you want” I said, “You get what you need” Go on, be a hero, be a man Make your own … Continue reading
My Beautiful Sister, Ann Marie,
The one Who is still Alive, but won’t take my phone calls because she figured out that I’m an asshole!
I’m sure it didn’t take her too long to sort that revelation out. Continue reading
I Need to Get OVER THIS
Somehow! Continue reading
“You ain’t heavy; I got ya Bro’. Hang in.” Posted for Teela And for Madelyn “How Do You Hold A Moonbeam In Your Hand?” *** Here is a no shitter story: I talked to my “ever-so-cool” step-sister Madelyn, back in the Seventies about this song. She said to me, “Lance, what does this song … Continue reading
One Saturday night, Madelyn and I (And Jennifer Rambo) Found ourselves standing before Daddy. In His Study. That Bitch Gloria (My Step-Mom) was there as Well. Our ‘Mission’… was to procure/beg money. Maddy and Jennifer did this Joni (as a) Duet and Perfection two-part Harmony: a capella! “Twisted” Street Cred For The Vid: JoniJourney (It … Continue reading
It’s been a while since I have written about Peanut, but he has been on my mind of late. A few of us in Honey Grove during the Seventies, not being afraid of hard work and also not being afraid of making good money would haul hay during the summers, brutal hot honest work. This … Continue reading
OR MAYBE IT’S JUST ME! Continue reading
I LOVE SOUTHERN! Cliff Notes/Teaser Version: Full Album. Must Listen, or if not, Why Are You Even Here?! Vid Cred for Share:WCW *** Now some might say Brother Dave was a racist and they would probably be right, but I am posting these bits because I love the way he talks politics and specifically about … Continue reading
Mark Dice Handed My Ass to Me! Continue reading
Why Jack? Oh Why?!
Of course if you want the answer to that
Burning Behind the Grassy Knoll question, all you need do is listen to Lenny.
Look no further.
Lenny Has This One Covered Y’all Continue reading
I just finished watching Sleepy Joe Biden Bang on and on and on about The Fucking Keny-Dies Continue reading
I am in Fan-Love with this Scotty!
Thank Gawd I am not gay! Continue reading
Did I recently re-post this?
Some may not have seen it.
I miss My NAVY
Sometimes I miss my first wife.
But that passes.
Missing My Navy Daze
Haze-Gray & Underway Days…
Never Passes Continue reading
I’m done with my rant.
Let’s lighten it up a mite.
And I have discovered that I have already posted on this topic, but fuck it. Grab yer bucket and climb into it.
Then fuck it.
Fuk yer bucket.
Call it yer bucket mist list.
Duck and fucking cover
I really do miss the Cold War. Now go Kill a Commie for Mommie. Continue reading
Sorry Y’all, but I must repost this because I have made a new Friend, a Veteran, and I want him to be able to find it and hopefully read it.
Even tho, he is a Marine… Hell, I’ll forgive him that. We are both patriots. Continue reading
Hope Continue reading
Y’all think shit is bad today? Let’s take a stroll down memory lane shall we? Continue reading
Read at your own annoyance. Wordpress is broken. Not MY FAULT. ME NO ALAMO Continue reading
What I don’t Know About Women
Is a lot
Is That Magic
In a Martini Continue reading
I Love and Admire You Dorothy.
You are an American Icon. Continue reading
CNN is about to broadcast yet another monstrosity:
This time on Princess Diana.
I have already done this.
Pretty certain mine is better and more respectful. Continue reading
More Muse Lamentations Continue reading
Rice is Nice
Liquor is Quicker
And Easy Death is Not an Option Continue reading