“Petty Officer Marcom! Your Fifty Cals are Rusty!” I had to admit. Yes they were. I had tried so hard to keep ahead of the rust, but here I found myself on the leeward side of the second half of a six-month, ‘round-the-whurl-West Pacific Deployment’, and somewhere just off the coast of Somalia. Yes, rust was my … Continue reading
I AM A RACIST!!! Continue reading
The Greatest Reality Show On Earth I just might vote TRUMP. Why not? (And what’s wrong with Big Hair anyhow?! Even I, your humble servant, used to have Big Hair–Then I learned to read.) I mean, honestly, The Prez really don’t have power anymore, c’mon People! Sampson hair notwithstanding. Don’t believe me? Ask Obama. Or… Take … Continue reading
Originally posted on Texan Tales & Hieroglyphics:
Yet another email I dispatched from Camp Dwyer, 2012: Around 1730hrs a truck pulls up outside my office at LSA 2. I didn’t see who was in the truck, but I figured I was about to have a visitor. (I’m really smart that way) After the truck had…
When I was fourteen or fifteen and living in NE Texas, ‘Famine’ County to be more precise, I used to frequently cross the border. Not Mesico. No, Oklahoma. Yep. Go figger. You see, back-in-the-day (Early Seventies), the drinking age got lowered to 18, mainly because it just was not fitting for a boy to go … Continue reading
The point of this post, if there is one, is that I have applied for no less than ten jobs in Saudi Arab today. Some nine or so in various other shit holes, err, developing countries, just looking for my next war zone to make me famous, not unlike Hemmingway. At this point in life, … Continue reading
Originally posted on Texan Tales & Hieroglyphics:
Lyndon Baines Johnson Texan, Father, School Teacher, Rancher, & Much Maligned 36th President of The United States of America. I love LBJ, or as Brother Dave Gardner once called him: ‘Daddy Bird’. Johnson was a divisive entity during his one and a half terms as president—primarily due of…
Swerved into this in my inbox few days ago…. “Dere Lance of Texas, I hav fond some wory in my brane last days. Woried you not hear anee more. No rightings on you blogg, texas tails. Hopink you not ded. If yu ar, pls let me kno, of not, plese igno an I will chek … Continue reading
Originally posted on Texan Tales & Hieroglyphics:
I am re-posting this because I am still working on the Continuation of the ‘Sinai Field Mission Chronicles‘. (Great Excuse, eh?) Anyway, some of you ‘newbies’ may not have had the wonderful ‘opportunity’ to have swerved into it. Therefore it is with great humility that I present it…
Lyndon “Rains” Johnson https://texantales.com/2014/03/08/lyndon-johnson-just-another-guy-lookin-out-for-his-nuts/
Originally posted on Texan Tales & Hieroglyphics:
NAVY CLUB of the United State of America MILITARY EXCELLENCE Award “Presented to the graduating recruit who best exemplifies the qualities of enthusiasm, devotion to duty, military appearance and behavior, self-discipline and teamwork.” This was the highest honor any recruit could be awarded. I won that sucker in…
I used to shoot small birds Yes, back in the day, I pleasured me by shooting to death… sparrows. (not pretty, is it?) Not proud of it. And as Texan-Rightly, not ashamed of it neither. (What we did then, back in the day…) “Just Texan Kids havin’ fun,” they would say. (‘They’, generally being Grandmothers—maternal … Continue reading
Silent Eyes You’ll have to scroll down. If you want the song. My very first morning at the Tel Aviv Sheraton. I had a ‘raw fish’ breakfast buffet at zero five hundred. (And there were cucumbers, cheese, olives an’ shit too! Outrageous!) I had never had raw fish for breakfast until then. Cost me five … Continue reading
And in truth: I never did either., I guess I wrote it back in some day. And he went to England; played the piano, married an actress maimed “Kim:”… She was a good wife… I loved her. This is a continuation, albeit a flashback, to my story of Janet and Random Memories from The … Continue reading
So, Throwback! “I really did love your early shit Lance…” * sigh * “They said that about Dylan too.” “You’re not him.” * heavy sigh * When that sun is high in that Texas sky **** “Shonnie: The Biker’s ‘Wife of Bath’” (Yes. You Read That Right; I am a Chaucer Fan. Surprised?) Anyhow, it … Continue reading
Thou talks of Nothing. ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! PITY PARTY WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER! “NO BARE FEET BEYOND THIS POINT! (THIS MEANS YOU!) And Here is a news flash for you Marcom: Ronnie Died about fifty year ago. Get the fuck over it! “Golly Gosh, My Lord. I am tryin’ to… but you … Continue reading
*Of course if you want the answer to that burning behind the Grassy Knoll Question, you will have to listen to Lenny. (Listen below after you wade through some serious Lance Horseshit) Or, I suppose you could just ask Lance, as his erstwhile step-mom worked for Jack (Ruby) And if you, any of you, breath, … Continue reading
About an hour ago I ended ‘My Watch’ of all four seasons and all episodes of “Game of Thrones”—Took me all of three days to get through it, soup to nuts, but I really had nothing better to do anyhow. Certainly there are quite a lot of rabid fans out there belonging to “Game of … Continue reading
Now some might say Brother Dave was a racist and they would probably be right, but I am posting these bits because I love the way he talks politics and specifically about “Daddy Bird.” I really don’t think Bro Dave was racist in his heart. Most things he said were tongue-in-cheek, but that is just … Continue reading
“Here in Savannah Memphis it’s pourin’ rain “Palm trees in the porch light like slick black cellophane. “Will you still love me when I get back to town?” vid credit: Christian T. Davies Not really melancholy, but if I were, this song just might push me further that way, in that direction. Peace, -Lance Real sorry, … Continue reading
(Yes, I know. All y’all been waiting with baited breath, no pun, for this post) The problem really isn’t the tooth per se. It’s the rebar that the dentist pounded into it some years back. The tooth even then was pretty much gone and I had not the time nor inclination (nor money) to have a … Continue reading
Of course you do. It is when you go to flush the toilet and that handle snarls back at you, rather limp-wrist’d, as if to say, “Not tonight Asshole. Go back to sleep.” (Now, in some truth, I could probably improve this post. For example: I should not have referenced ‘limp wrists”. In truth, … Continue reading
And all the house lights left up bright. Happy New Year. “I’m gonna blow this damn candle out.” “Holidays are hard on some guys.” (I stole that line from a favorite movie of mine, loosely based on a wonderful play by some guy: “Sexual Perversity in Chicago” which I first saw in the Sinai, and … Continue reading
I had to post this one. Video Credit: genesiss8 Ya know…. John really love Yoko… No one (except John) Knew why. I suppose love is funny that way.
I thought Nashville was the roughest, but then, I landed in Memphis… Fuck Memphis and fuck Elvis. I am a Texan. Ya know… Life can be funny… Real Funny. “Just do’t leave nothin” in your clothes//// Missing The Most Interesting Man In Iraq APRIL 14, 2014 BY LAMARCOM 4 Bob (The Most Interesting Man in Iraq) … Continue reading
On the street… America. SEAL/s
Fuck off Really Please. Fuck off! I almost deleted this one, but I love the video. The Sheryl Crow… So, I didn’t (delete) And ya know….I used to watch “Deadliest Catch.” I can not even watch it anymore. I just can’t. http://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/deadliest-catch/videos/season6-episode14/
Now, that header is probably un (in?) appropriate. But. Guess what? I paid good money for this, this, this, ability to write shit no one really wants to read. So There! I post what thrills me. Someday, when I am old… I will look back and smile. And say, “Jesus Christ Lance! How many people … Continue reading
I love this post. (not sure why) ************* ‘Three-Nine-Six-One-Three Bruning Street Fremont California: 1966-1968’ Funny how I still remember the street address when I cannot remember my mother’s birthday, or what I had for Sunday Supper last week, or my second wife’s maiden name, or who won the World Series last year. All the houses … Continue reading
“Don’t jump and make trouble.” https://texantales.com/2014/05/10/daily-lenny-people-dont-stay/ Awe Shit! I was only funnin’. I was a man once (SEALs) As Peanut once said, “Much Man!” Well, he, Peanut, said a lot. “A tale of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”
Ow! Oops! Here is the Billy Joel: That (the above) is just a ‘working’ title. What I reely want to write… is some more ‘autobiographical shit. (Mostly about Las Vegas) Yeah, we have been here b4. Never mind. Oh! The Billy Joel bit was from this here. And yes! I am too stupid to just … Continue reading
Proving (once again) That My Life Has a Sound-Track (Yes, there will be more) *heavy sigh* Stand by for heavy rolls as this ship comes about. (DDG 994) Just a man I once had the honor of shaking hands with… What’s that word? I think I’m eccentric. –Oh yeah. “Eccentric” “The younger girls are so … Continue reading
Or, if you will: “The timing’s all wrong.” Last Chance… Texico A RePost Why? ‘Cause I love Rickie Lee Jones. That is why, oh, and yeah! Because, to quote one long lost Texan Oilman: “Please Lord! Just gimme one more oil boom; I do promise I won’t fuck it up (this time).” Texans actually used … Continue reading
“Petty Officer Marcom! Your fifty cals are rusty!” I must admit; yes, they were. I tried so hard to keep ahead of the rust, but here I found myself between the second half of a six-month, round-the-whurl-WestPac deployment, and somewhere just off the coast of Somalia. Yes, rust was my enemy, and never my friend—the machine … Continue reading
https://texantales.com/2014/03/08/lyndon-johnson-just-another-guy-lookin-out-for-his-nuts/ I recently finished watching … And yes, I have read ALL of Caro’s books. http://www.robertcaro.com/ And yes: I am a Texan. And NO! I do not think LBJ had anyTHING to do with JFK’s demise.
Surely this is a word (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/naive) Maybe not… When I first started this blog… (so many moons ago) I thought to myself, I thought: “Here is where I will write my Great American Novel” They will come. *alas* “fruition” is just a word. coming to same… is.. well… Forget You! (Yep! oft-times, I revert to … Continue reading
Been scrambling… to delete. Wow! Did I really post ‘that??? (hahaha! Yeah, I suppose I did) Sorry.. OKay! (I just had to) Why? Because I am in love with Rita. That is why.
Back in some day (mine) when I had been recently introduced to pot, I found me in my step-sister’s bedroom. A guy came in (yes, he was a ‘guy’–older–I was twelve), and he pointed to a poster on the wall of my step-sis. (The poster was of Bob Dylan). ‘the guy’ asked me, rather demanded … Continue reading
Of my posts I like, but I do like this one. Go ahead: ask me why… http://wp.me/p2Yfgl-jQ
Somewhere about five years ago, I was paid something in the region of $183,093 per year. Yep. To keep Y’all safe. Yep. To Keep Y’all safe. Now, I am paid somewhere south of ten dollars per hour, to keep y’all’s packages safe. The math don’t add up. But… actually. It does. Men (and wimmen) are … Continue reading
OverState The Obvious, But… You have to “drill down’. Do it. Drill Down.
I write some really esoteric shit. Yep. Do. As any who follow… will have noticed… I do not have nor write/written much, of late. There is a reason for this (yes; trust me) The raison d’etre is, … I have nothing to say (that, of course, is a lie) but… I have, (really have) been … Continue reading
Preface: Lance (LIFE) is An Angry Man. An Angry White Man. Now. That (above) is just for fun What means this? Nothing. Just thought I’d say it. Why? “Dunno.” Read On. (Oh! And One Last THING: If you do not follow the links, well, do not come back to me crying: “Lance! I don’t get … Continue reading
I really don’t have the energy (or the ‘want to’) to edit this… Sorry. *** (Broken down by decades) Kinda… 57-60: Born 60-64: Awkward Years 65-68: Awareness 68-74: Lost virginity, Oh! And innocence ’74-’77: Self-Respect was an issue: High School, et al. ’77-80: Sinai Desert: lost loves (in the desert) came of age ‘80-‘85: Played … Continue reading
For some of y’all out there who may have wondered where the hell I’ve been lately… Well, I have been endeavoring with gusto and, actually, extreme prejudice, to ‘reinvent’ me. You see, I want to be a ‘happier, gentler, kinder’ kind of blogger. I no longer want to post rants, though I do love to … Continue reading
No, when I go to sea, I go as a simple sailor, right before the mast, plumb down into the forecastle, aloft there to the royal mast-head. True, they rather order me about some, and make me jump from spar to spar, like a grasshopper in a May meadow. And at first, this sort of … Continue reading
The news of late from CNN foretells the fall of Anbar Province and of Baghdad. I spent one year working in Anbar Province. This was the happiest (on record) year of my life. I am attaching a video and yes it is corny, and yes, the music is somewhat ‘gay’, and no, this was not … Continue reading
Recently… I killed my FB account. Yep For reasons I’d rather not disclose. Anyway, I grew weary of reading about ‘cancerous cats’ et al. So.. I said some evil things. Have since apologized. Been offered a promise of a promise back in Iraq (rhymes, don’t it?) I will go there. In’shall’allah –Peace (Lance) The point … Continue reading
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