The Basra BugMan

Basrah Bug Man

I Am Become Death: Destroyer of Tiny Worlds.

Bugs were a huge problem for us in Basra. There were big bugs, small bugs, flying bugs, crawling bugs, creeping bugs, biting bugs, fighting bugs, suicide bomber bugs, and worst of all: No-See’um bugs. (I love bugs: please read Queendom )

Then every day at precisely 1600hrs,

BUGMAN!

“Here I come to savvve the day!!!”

Mister Bugman

Sung to the tune ‘Mister Sandman”

*****************

bug, bug, bug, bug, bug

bug, bug, bug, bug, bug

bug, bug, bug, bug, bug

Mr. Bugman, save us from screams

(bug, bug, bug, bug, bug)

Kill all those bugs that we’ve ever seen

(bug, bug, bug, bug, bug)

Give them a tank of poison and smoker

(bug, bug, bug, bug, bug)

Then tell them their buggy nights are over

Bugman, Now I’m so alone

Don’t have no bugs to crawl in my home

Please turn off your smoky beam

Mr. Bugman, bring us a scream

bug, bug, bug, bug, bug

Mr. Bugman, don’t save us from screams

Bring back those bugs, the cutest we’ve seen

Give them the word that we’ll not roll over

Then tell them their lonesome nights are over

bug, bug, bug, bug, bug

Mr. Bugman bring back our screams

(Yes)

Give them six eyes with a come-hither green

Give them six legs like bugs Versace

And lots of wavy hairs like Liber-auntsy

Mr Bugman, someone to scold

(Someone to scold)

Would be so peachy before we’re too old

So please turn off your poison beam

Mr Bugman, bring us, please, please, please

Mr bugman, bring us our screams

bug, bug, bug, bug, bug…

‘Cause now we miss the bugs an’ we’re bored…

(With Apologies to The Chordettes)

10 thoughts on “The Basra BugMan

  1. this was my 6AM first of the day read. Loved it. Laughing is a great way to start any day. And, being in Florida, I can certainly relate. A Palmetto bug is and always will be just a giant roach.

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