Shoot at me, You Sumbitch. You Caint Hit Shit!

by

24

“Between the lines of photographs I’ve seen the past. It isn’t pleasing.”

-Janis Ian

This post is for Teela

Teela

******************

My grandfather beat his wife. He was a jealous man. He was a boxer in his youth, and his beatings were top-notch.

He could beat:

This man. That man. Any man. (He could beat women too)

And he did; he beat my grandmother.

For fifty years.

He was a jealous man.

He hated me, but more important, he hated the spring I had sprung from.

He hated those “Marcoms.”

“Who the hell do they think they are, Boy? Doctors, lawyers? Scum! That’s what they are!”

“Yes, gran-dad, they are scum.”

“That old Doc Marcom… he is communisss.”

“Yes, Grand-dad, surely”

“If’n you sass me Boy, I gonna send you there to live among ‘em.”

“Yes, Granddaddy.”

“Go on in there and do yer homework.”

“Yes, Granddaddy.”

That conversation happened in 1969, if memory serves.

In 1974, when I had ‘matured’ and I was spending a summer there (in Winnsboro), late one night, my Grandmother came flying through my room:

“Lance! Lance! He’s trying to kill me! Help me!”

I jumped out of bed, followed them onto the porch, and confronted my so old nemesis:

“Hey! You son of a bitch! Don’t be hittin’ my grandmother!,” I shouted.

He took a swing and a miss.

I countered and decked him. Knocked him off the porch actually.

He gathered his wits and said,

“Boy! I am gonna shoot your ass!” And  I believed him.

He ran into the house, as I was grabbing my Grandmother by the arm and dragging her to the road. He reappeared with his deer rifle and shot at us. We dived into the bar ditch, an’ cowered.

He missed.

But he did not miss the mark that I would have some difficulties lookin’ at him as ‘Gran-dad” anymore.

But… we forgave him.

We should not have.

(I know this now)

24 thoughts on “Shoot at me, You Sumbitch. You Caint Hit Shit!”

  1. Pingback: OK: Now it Really is Thursday. | Texan Tales & Hieroglyphics

  2. A remarkable story, Lance – and one that truly begs a few more chapters and a film score. I hope you one day fill it in – and not just around the campfire.
    Glad you got out alive.

    Reply

    • First of all…
      Thank you so much
      For reading
      And for your flattering comments.
      And lastly,
      Just for hanging out here for a moment.
      Your time is valuable and I do appreciate it.
      Cheers,
      Lance

      Reply

    • Well Shelly,
      I have spent the better part of the last hour on yer page… looking to the comments section
      Is it gone?
      Have you become so famous as to not need that?
      Inquiring minds…

      I suppose it ain’t important, but I wanted to send you something by way of a link.
      It will keep.
      (I love your writing, by the way)

      Reply

  7. The title is my favorite. I love that you dragged her to the road. And it’s kind of funny how ignorant people look when they’re flailing about trying to cause trouble.

    Reply

    • It was funny! I was in my underwear. We went to the Neighbor’s house up the road..they were nice, but unimpressed. The old woman gave me some pants to wear. The old man sipped coffee and had no comment.

      Thanks for reading.

      Reply

  8. Reblogged this on Teela Hart and commented:
    This post was made by Lance Marcom over at texantales.com. He also shared with me how hard it would be for him to write this post as it is a skeleton of sorts in the family closet. I am proud to reblog this story because he bravely decided to break the silence. Thank you Lance.

    Reply

  9. Now…I am really the Black Sheep.
    Gonna rewrite “Addams Family Values” to show just how much, how much fucked my youth was fucked.
    Thank you Teela.
    I have never told this story (out of shame for my family), but your blog has convinced me…these kinds of ‘dark secrets’ need the air of day.
    I admire your courage.
    –lance

    Reply

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