My Day with the ‘Analist’

Lance walks into his physic therapist’s office and slumps down.

“Hello” too effusive physiotherapist says. “How are we today?”

“Shitty,” I answer. “But we be chillin’”

“Oh no!!” he says. “We can never feel ‘shitty’, as you say; We are always ‘happy’.”

“Fuck you,” I say.

“Mister Marcom. WE do not talk this way.”

“Fuck you Doc, I talk this way. I am paying you so I can talk this way.”

“OK, why then, are you “shitty” as you call it?”

Leaning back… wondering how long this court – ordered bullshit must go on, I decide to hit him with it:

“I am feeling shitty ‘cause I have written some good shit on my blog and no one is readin’ it.”

“Do go on….”

“Well… there is that one about Southpark

“Yes?”

“Some great shit there.”

“No one reads it?”

“Yeah,” I say; “It is too long.”

“Why is it too long? Do you hate your mother?”  he asked brilliantly.

“Well, it took three days to write. An’…who are you? Do you even know what it is to write?”

“Let us focus on ‘your problem.’ shall we?”

“Doc, let us focus on yers: I don’t wanna be here. I just want folks to read my shit.”

“I cannot help you there, Son.”

“Then what am I paying protection for?”

17 thoughts on “My Day with the ‘Analist’

  1. LOL *snorks*..

    I would have to be the words slackest blogger.. I sometimes disappear for weeks at a time.. BUT when I am here, the BEST way I have found to have people read my blog AND comment and interact is to read theirs, and then take the time to leave a comment or 10.

    Like you, all of us LOVES to have people acknowledge our thoughts and feelings and the sometimes hard work we put into our posts – I usually write and post and edit later if required… lol

    My best advice.. check out others blogs too, leave comments if you are interested and the same will come back to you 🙂

    Very funny post.. well written, thanks for sharing 🙂

    ML
    x

    Like

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