Final Chapter.
Previously: Part One; Part Two; Part Three
Ed. Note: Again, Most of the photos are ‘clickable”
1423hrs: Southpark DFAC
It was a long and winding road which led me home. As I was trudging along, sweating my ass off, I kept reminding myself of the New Yorker’s directions given to someone looking to get to Texas from NYC: “Head west until you smell shit. That’s Oklahoma. Go south until you step in it. That’s Texas.”

Bosnia Lovers
I found my way back to Southpark in similar fashion: Followed my nose to the ‘Poo Pond’; took a left—ran right into Southpark. Easy as pie. Poo Pie. As soon as I got back and kicked yet another Gomer outta my rack (What’s wrong with these people?), I went to Flight Ops to see if I could fly the hell outta here tomorrow. I’ll tell you what they told me: “We’ll have to get back to you on that.”
1738hrs: Sitting on my Rack
Shoo’d the Gomes off… again. I sent you an email few minutes ago, telling you my show-time is 0100hrs for my flight back to Dwyer. It believe it’s a Helo this time. They are slower, but it’s a short trip. Saturday, I could have walked here and gotten to the CAC office same day before they closed.
The computers here have been acting stupid today, so I don’t know if you got my recent posts. Only thing left for me to do is update my time sheet at 1900hrs and eat supper. I stole a sleeping bag from the Billeting laundry box last night so I wouldn’t freeze (The A/C works really good in this tent starting around midnight). Problem is, not getting to really sleep much. I must confess something: I really like a routine.
I do much better when I have a routine. You probably would never have guessed that about me. Hopefully Mike will not still be there tomorrow, but I had no email from Shannon, so I suspect he remains. Shannon surely would have told me if he finally did leave. I would hope so anyway.
1915hrs: Sitting on my rack
Supper was yummy. Roast pork and a chicken breast. Southpark’s population seems to have doubled today. Trying to find a spot to sit in the smoking arena is an exercise in futility. Time for me to leave obviously

What a Dump
I am really exhausted now. Tomorrow will be another Long Day, but at least at the end of it I’ll be back in my own bed and in my own hooch.
“There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.”
I’m sad right now a little bit ‘cause I have not heard from you. Hopefully a bit later before I depart for the flight line and most likely another long wait to get on yet another bird… I hope they fed the hamsters this time: “Helicopter Hamsters.” Sounds like a song: ‘Muskrat Love…’ (Lance, you need sleep Son)
2020hrs: DFAC
Tried to sleep. Failed. Ideas of what to show you and do with you and to you in Dubai race around in my head and look for a place to rest.
31 July Tuesday 0021hrs: DFAC – Strong coffee
Taster’s Choice instant. ‘twill serve. Just got off the computer a few minutes ago and had several emails from you. Happy Now. Some dude was very vociferous about some folks taking more than their allotted ten minutes (I’m not guilty of that. Not Much). Anyway, I had to go.
Got a couple hours of death-like sleep until a Billeting Gome woke me up (very politely) tapping me on the shoulder, making sure I knew I was scheduled to fly. I assured him that “Yeah Baby! I’m flying outta here.” My alarm was about to go off, but I’m glad he woke me up just in case it didn’t.
They have the Olympics on TV now here in the DFAC. I had forgotten about them and I suppose they are well underway by now. I do hope Texas brings home a lot of gold this time! Gotta go and grab my ‘kit’. See? I can speak Brit. Heading to the rally point. Rally Ho!
0315hrs: PAX Terminal KAF
Been successfully herded from Southpark.
0348hrs: Taxi Runway
Didn’t even have time to finish my coffee. Gryphon Airlines exhibited uncharacteristic efficiency today. I did manage to wolf down part of an MRE I had rat-fucked on the 28th. Not on a helo—thought I would be. A/C on this bird no better than the last one. Waiting to take off… Plane is full and we have two stops before Dwyer. Hopefully I’ll be home in time for DFAC breakfast, but not likely. Oh, plane holds about forty-six in case you’re wondering.
0404hrs: Airborne! Escape Velocity Breached! “Once more unto the Breach!”
On our way! Yippee Ki Aye! Captain is female, Michelle. I love her already.
Simon and Garfunkel are legends in my mind.
Thank you for your wonderful comments.
(I will definitely check out the link you sent to me)
Hope you were able to find chapter three.
Southpark is a horrible, yet necessary place. I am not a fan of Dyncorp (as you may have noticed) In my Afghanistan Category there are a few stories of life in Helmand (Hell Man!) Province. You might find those amusing.
Cheers,
Lance
🙂
Love,love, love Simon and Gar! How great it is to have this personal account. I had trouble getting back to chapter 3.. . . . I am hopeless with the technology. . . .
“There is no place like home!”
I love the Middle East. The Sinai was my favorite, but then, I was so young, and it was romantic. Iraq was exciting. Afghanistan was beautiful.
Thank you for reading.
*smile*
Oh, but Southpark was definitely a shit hole.
😉
I love the pictures and agree the mountains in the background are beautiful. Thanks for “taking me” to places I’ll never see.