“Don’t Rain Shit On My Parade”

by

11

“If someone takes a spin it’s me and not you.”

I Adore Barbara. (But You Faithful, Regular Readers Already Know This)

The version I wanted, but WordPress is stupid.

“Three A.M., it’s me again.”

Three A.M. and I was in the middle of a dream about ‘Shit River’ in Ologapo City, Philippines. (Freud would’ve loved me)

Then I woke up.

Woke up to a very un-dreamy-like smell of real shit. Real potent shit. Horrible smelling shit. Knock a buzzard off a shit wagon smelling shit.

I was living in an old two-story house in Commerce. Just outside my bedroom was the walk-in closet where I kept all the clothes I owned. I have never owned much in the way of clothes, by the way.

I heard something dripping like rain behind the door, but it wasn’t raining outside. I opened the door and sure as shit, shit was raining down from the ceiling.  All over my clothes. Spattering on the floor. My Chow Mix doggie, Tizzy, was obviously responsible.

Chow

I went around the corner, and there  he was  in that dog-taking-a-shit posture at the top of the stairway: Obviously with a really bad case of the doggie drizzling shits.

Took me until seven a.m. to clean up the shit and wash all my clothes.

I called in sick to work telling my boss,

“I feel like shit.”

11 thoughts on ““Don’t Rain Shit On My Parade””

  2. This is one of those “timeless” posts I do love.
    I would snip a favorite quote from this one, but then I’d have to copy and paste the whole thing into your comment box. 😀

  5. Good Mornin’ Tela!
    (Try wakin’ up to a shit storm!)
    Uh… sincerely hope you never have to…)
    Thanks for dipping in.
    Cheers,
    Lance

  9. Just fillin’ Gaps in my writing.

    Paulie: [talking about Adrian] You like her?
    Rocky: Sure, I like her.
    Paulie: What’s the attraction?
    Rocky: I dunno… she fills gaps.
    Paulie: What’s ‘gaps’?
    Rocky: I dunno, she’s got gaps, I got gaps, together we fill gaps.

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