I Stall: Shonnie, The Truest Sentiment You May Find Here From Me

More Shonnie Here:

2021 UPDATE

One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine

I stall.

Why?

Because I am lazy.

And typing is hard.

Some of you may be waiting for the last few chapters of ‘Shonnie, The Biker’s Wife.” (I know, as I am awaiting them too). But that said, well what can I say? I tend to expose personal shit here. Sometimes it grows difficult, and I grow wary and weary. I have vowed to my Vizsla Dog

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that I will finish this tale tomorrow and get past it. (My dog tends to humour me. What choice does he have? I control the ‘soup bones’)

So, with that ‘sate-ment’, I leave you just one more clue to the outcome, by way of a song (There is always ‘A Song’ isn’t there?)

Cheers, Lance

Vid Credit:

Colt28683

 P.S. This is an ever-building story. If ya don’t watch the vid, well, ya gonna miss the best half of the denouement.

–Just sayin’…

“Caint you see?”

The Best ‘Blaxploitation’ Film of All Time

It’s just memory lane y’all.

“I’m just talkin’ ’bout Shaft.”

“Right on!”

Enjoy.

John Hernandez vid credit

Shonnie The Biker’s Wife: Intermission

More Shonnie (and a half)

Parts One  Two  Three Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight

***

Okay. I admit it: I copped out tonight and went with the “Thursday Blow-Back.” What to say? I am lazy. However, I swerved upon an idea (mostly because I really want y’all to ‘like’ Shonnie. She was special. And by that I mean, she was unique.)

Therefore, I had to post this to flavor the pot, as it were. This song sums up a lot , but not all. As most of you regular readers must know, I am a big fan of Joni M. Joni often says things I cannot… Well this below video best describes Shonnie, albeit in unflattering vernacular.

But! Hey! I did not paint ‘me’ too pretty either.

Shonnie, Part VIX Manana. Pax Romana? (I hope). ‘Cause it do grow worse after Vegas. And  with some heartache.

Please stay tuned; This is one story I aim to finish. And finally put to bed.

“You’re mean when you’re loaded. I was raised on robbery.”

Shonnie The Biker’s Wife: Part VIII: Black Jack Preamble

The Shonnie Saga Continued.

Parts One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven

Tomorrow (or the next day, I will wrap this up)

***

I took Shonnie by the hand and we waltzed over to a blackjack table. “One Dollar, Minimum Bet.” This was to be a training session and a trial run. An ‘Introduction’, if you will.

BJ

“Hey! You said something about teaching me ‘counting the deck’ in Blackjack? Was that bullshit, or what? I have never played blackjack. What is it?” She said.

“Surely you played ‘Twenty-One’ as a kid, right? Or was it all ‘Strip Poker’ or ‘Strip Poke Her?”

“Asshole.”

“Seriously Shonnie, I just want you to get a feel for the game. Tomorrow, I will teach you how to count. You seem to have some ‘Rain Man’ in ya. No offense.”

“Rain-man?”

“Never mind. I will tell you later. You just listen to me, as we are gonna sit together here. Tomorrow, we hit The El Cortez, and we will be in disguise. They have one of the last double-deck games in town.”

“Double deck? Disguise? Get the fuck out!”

“I’ll explain later. Please sit down and think about what you want to drink. The waitress will wanna know.”

We sat at ‘Third Base.’

The dealer was a perky blond with a name tag: It read: “Hi! I am Debbie from Des Moines! Live it Up!”

And as the hours wore on, I taught her basic BJ play. She was good with it. Very good.

We never bet much. This was just for training after all, (and we already had our stake) and I did distrust the dealers at the Plaza anyhow, so we just chilled.

“This is boring.” Shonnie finally said.

“Honey, you’re learning the game. Relax!”

“Well, I like craps better.”

“Darling, we all do, but this one is gonna pay off for us tomorrow night. Trust me.”

“Whatever.”

We did the Blackjack thing for some hours and then I bought her a bagel at the coffee shop and took her to bed. She was ready, and fell asleep just as soon as the blond hair hit the pillow.

I was left alone with my thoughts, and my plans, and a hard on.

“Sleep Princess,” I thought. Then slept too, curled around her.

To be continued. HERE

Wal*Mart: The End of Western Civilization (And Vegetarians)

Back in the late Nineties my small Texan college town was ‘blessed’ with a new Super Wal*Mart. I don’t really like Wal*Mart, but the grand opening was a “Big Hairy Deal” (not a lot of excitement in my little town). Anyway, I just had to go. Back then I was a vegetarian and was interested to see if Wal*Mart had decent produce and perhaps a bit cheaper than the only other grocery store in town, a Brookshire’s. (I was loyal to Brookhire’s and even had one of those ‘Loyalty Cards’ to prove it, but I was a paycheck-to-paycheck’ kind of dude, you see. So there was that.) Turns out they did have decent produce and cheaper too; so I filled my cart with quite a few fresh fruits and vegetables.

walmart

Got to the checkout and the surly cashier. I knew instantly she was surly when she took a look at my cart and then grimaced. She picked up a zucchini and pointed it at me just as I imagine she would a pistol. “What is This?” she demanded.

“Zucchini,” I said, trying to be polite about it.

(There were no little tags on the veggies back then. The cashiers had a rolodex type thing with photos to help them identify ‘foreign fruits and vegetables’.

She then picked up a… wait for it… turnip. “And what’s this?”

“Turnip.”

She then hefted a cantaloupe and snarled, “And this?”

“Can-ta-lope” I said slowly.

At this point I could literally see the frustration (and anger) building. “Well look Sir, you know I ain’t from around here. I’m from Oklah-homa and I don’t know y’all’s local vegetables,” she announced rather pointedly.

All I could do to keep from falling down on the floor laughing my ass.

True Story.

Gotta love Wal*Mart. (and Oklahoma)

Just Kidding All My Okie Neighbors! (But Y’all know how it is between Texas an’ Oklahoma!)

turnip

Turnip Truck: Just Fell Off.

Lenny Bruce is Dead

Lenny Died.

I know this.

lenny grave

Yet, he lives on in my mind and in my heart.

Not going to go over the top here, but I am taking myself out of the ‘Daily Lenny Business’ business. (not many enjoyed it anyhow. I did. But I did  not ‘write’ for Lenny. I ‘wrote’ for me,  and for the edification of a few of my readers.)

No matters…

So.. This is your last ‘Daily Lenny’. I do hope you have enjoyed the previous seventy or so.

There will be no more.

This makes me sad. (because there is so much more Lenny I want to share, but alas, I am tired.)

–Lance

This video really sucks. I will search out a better one. (Maybe tomorrow) I do it for the children..

Oh! More Lenny Here:

https://404.com