Back in the late Nineties my small Texan college town was ‘blessed’ with a new Super Wal*Mart. I don’t really like Wal*Mart, but the grand opening was a “Big Hairy Deal” (not a lot of excitement in my little town). Anyway, I just had to go. Back then I was a vegetarian and was interested to see if Wal*Mart had decent produce and perhaps a bit cheaper than the only other grocery store in town, a Brookshire’s. (I was loyal to Brookhire’s and even had one of those ‘Loyalty Cards’ to prove it, but I was a paycheck-to-paycheck’ kind of dude, you see. So there was that.) Turns out they did have decent produce and cheaper too; so I filled my cart with quite a few fresh fruits and vegetables.
Got to the checkout and the surly cashier. I knew instantly she was surly when she took a look at my cart and then grimaced. She picked up a zucchini and pointed it at me just as I imagine she would a pistol. “What is This?” she demanded.
“Zucchini,” I said, trying to be polite about it.
(There were no little tags on the veggies back then. The cashiers had a rolodex type thing with photos to help them identify ‘foreign fruits and vegetables’.
She then picked up a… wait for it… turnip. “And what’s this?”
“Turnip.”
She then hefted a cantaloupe and snarled, “And this?”
“Can-ta-lope” I said slowly.
At this point I could literally see the frustration (and anger) building. “Well look Sir, you know I ain’t from around here. I’m from Oklah-homa and I don’t know y’all’s local vegetables,” she announced rather pointedly.
All I could do to keep from falling down on the floor laughing my ass.
True Story.
Gotta love Wal*Mart. (and Oklahoma)
Just Kidding All My Okie Neighbors! (But Y’all know how it is between Texas an’ Oklahoma!)
Turnip Truck: Just Fell Off.
‘pomegranate’ Hahahah
Didn’t some Greek chick get in trouble waaaay back in the day for eating pomegranate seeds?
I wasn’t actually there, but I didn’t miss it by much. (Yeah, I am THAT old!)
Hahahah
Thanks again for your visits and your great comments here at TT&H
😉
Like it’s YOUR fault she can’t recognize UNIVERSALLY COMMON produce like a zucchini or a friggin turnip! God forbid you handed her a pomegranate… Her eyes might have rolled back into her skull.
Lol
😉
LOL! Exactly! 😀
If you catch me in a Wal*Mart, just know that the Cold War is back on.
All I’m sayin’
Hahahaha
LOL! Don’t you just love when you smile out loud? 🙂 Yeah, Walmart definitely attracts a certain caliber of clientele. At least here in Florida. I try to stick to the grocery store and Target and only use Walmart for emergencies after the regular stores are closed. 🙂
Yeah, I went from Walmart to Iraq.
Iraq was bettah…
😉
I wanna write a book about some of my Wal*Mart experiences.
Laughin’ out loud!
Thanks for your visit and your comments.
Made me laugh and smile too. (out loud)
Cheers,
Lance
LOL! That’s funny! I don’t know a lot of veggies either because I’m allergic to so many, so I don’t eat a lot of variety…However, I DO know enough to know to apologize and explain that and not just make the excuse that it’s local to your state! That’s really sad! LOL! (AND no I won’t ever eat ANY produce from Walmart either!)
You’re welcome Lance. Glad you’ve moved on from Wally World, lol.
Don’t you just hate it when the best comeback lines come to you too late? I know I do. Yeah, your response would have been priceless.
Hahahah
Thanks Sandra!
Awesome! My 1st job was at McDonalds where a customer actually asked me what was in a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit. Wish I had said, “lobster, of course.” Some people. I tell ya!
Looking for white carrots. Too fuckin’ funny!
Thanks for the laugh My Friend.
Cheers,
-Lance
The whole ‘Wal-Mart Experience’ always cracks me up.
Thanks Sharon for your comments and for the read.
🙂
-Lance
It really was a bizarre (and true) experience. I had to laugh (to myself).
Thanks Sadie!
🙂
I actually had a part-time job at that very same Wal-Mart a few years after it had opened. I HATED it. I was just helping out during the run up to Christmas assembling bicycles. Wal-Mart’s are weird places to work, let me tell ya.
Thanks for the read and the comments Laura.
Cheers,
Lance
I cannot STAND Wally World! That’s what I call it. Forutnately there is not one for MILES from where I live lol. I refuse to step inside. My husband occasionally goes there….I let him have his fun. I’ll go to Whole Foods instead. haha
CTFU here!!!! 😉 Seriously, didn’t know what a cantaloupe was . . . especially from that part of the country . . . great post, Lance!!!
That is hilarious! I was a vegetarian for 5 years myself….vegan for 2 and even a raw foodist! I only made it 6 months on the raw…LOL I have been eating meat again for the past 12 years, but I still eat a ton of veggies and I totally get this…it still happens. Who doesn’t know what a zucchini is? ha ha
We get something like that here when the local grocer has things the checkers don’t know. The first time around it was a parsnip and the checker got frustrated because there were no “white carrots” in her handy dandy list. The woman was just about 60 years old and a native in these here agricultural parts, too.
Just so it’s said: Fuck Wal-Mart! 😀
Annie,
If I had thrown a Big Mac, Large Fries, a Whopper, and some Jim Jims out there, she would have done just fine. My bad.
Hahahah
Thanks for reading.
Lancer
I HAVE been known to laugh at teen trainees when they didn’t know common fruits or veg. Told them they needed to start eating healthier.