Running in Soft Sand: Part Two

The Below is Somewhat of a Rant Interlude (before I get to the rest of my story): Read at Your Own Annoyance.

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But before you do that, perhaps you may want to visit here, and watch the video while there, and maybe even read here.

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I have a lot to say.

About Navy SEALs.

I have a lot of opinions.

About Navy SEALs.

And I am bona fide.

About Navy SEALs

****

I have a lot of regret over my experience with Navy SEALs.

I have a lot of love for Navy SEALs. Hell! I love the Nav!

(I scored ’99’ on my ASVAB–Unheard of!–The Army Tried to Recruit me! The Greenie Beanies! The Rangers! What a fucking joke!

(Now, do not mistake me: I think the Green Berets are just Jim Dandy, but they have parameters: i.e., there are things they just will not attempt. The Navy (SEALs) have no parameters: they will ‘attempt’ anything–more than once)

Video Credit:  Goldenman39z

I recall, while at BUD/s, how we used to taunt the USMC, there for their ‘little taste of amphib training.’

“Hey! Marine Corps! Bullet Sponge Marine Corps! (The few; the proud; the dead on the beach!”)**

Yeah, we got into trouble over that one…

And I did, one day, overhear a TDY Greenie Beanie instructor ask MY BUD/s instructor:

“Hey! How do you guys do it? I mean… how do you do it? You do all the same training! How do you do IT??”

My BUD/s instructor simply said, 

“We do it because this is how we do it.”

Would not trade my time spent at BUD/s for any other of my life’s experiences that I have experienced. (And that includes my time spent at SFM and in Iraq and Afghanistan, and even in Oklahoma and other war zones.)

I ‘earned’ it—my experience with SEALs.

All of it.

Every fuckin’ second.

They, (The SEAL Instructors) tried to kill me, but in a good way…They did kill one, in a manner of speaking, on ‘my watch’, but that is yet another story which time and virtual ink will not permit me to recount here–maybe later)

There are a lot of ‘frauds’ out there now. People who will tell you:

“I was a Navy SEAL.”

Idiots most! If you want to know if someone is / was a SEAL, you simply need to ask one simple question, “Which BUD/s class were you in?”

If that answer comes back as nonsense, then you will know…

(But, how will you know, being a non-com? If it was, indeed, nonsense.) I will tell you. There is only one place on Earth where BUD/s is taking place. That there, for starters, is a good clue. If some asshole tells you he went to BUD/s in Norfolk, VA, (As once happened to me in Basra, Iraq and once in Mombasa, Kenya) he is lying. If some asshole tells you he cannot remember: he is lying. If some asshole tells you it is ‘Classified,’ he is lying.

Walk away and find an interesting chick to speak with. You may get lucky. Buy her a gin and tonic or a wine cooler and tell her you were a Navy SEAL. She may buy into your bullshit. It usually never works in Southern California, but always works like a charm in Toledo.

And the crowd went wild
And The Crowd Went Wild!

Ever since Navy SEALs ‘took out’ OBL… well, and even before… The Navy has had a great PR Program, and a great recruiting machine. The Navy does recruiting better than any other service, (USMC is a very close second, though) But when I was about to enlist and told my recruiter I was ‘going in’ to be a SEAL, he did his due diligence and tried to talk me out of it!

Hahahah!

When I put in my chit (Navy vernacular) for SEALs, no one, and I mean no one, had ever heard of such an outfit, save for a few Nam Vets. I mean to say, data-based, ninety-nine of one hundred Americans could not even define a Navy SEAL.

“SEALs? Never heard of ‘em. Green Berets? Sure. Saw the fucking movie… John Wayne, right?”

Thinking to myself: “Yeah… The Duke, In Fucking Georgia: About as far removed from Viet Nam as is possible, you schmuck!”

Now today, I tune into CNN, FOX: even Aljazeera America, (You damn betcha! I read / watch ALL news), and I see so many ‘Former Navy SEALs’ paraded in front of me, talking to Megyn Kelly, or Bill O’Reilly, or Brook Baldwin, or Kim Kardashian. Jesus on a cracker! Is this what I missed by not becoming a Navy SEAL? I coulda been a ‘coin-tender!’ I coulda been somebody! I could have written a fucking book. Instead of being a bum.

Do a ‘search’ on Amazon dot com for Navy SEAL books. The SEALs I knew, did not ‘talk.’ Now everyone who ever even attempted ‘Hell Week’, is fucking Ernest Hemingway. Makes me nauseous.

Sheeit!

Don’t worry: I will get back to ‘My First Day at BUD/s’ soon enuff, but I am venting now. So please bear with me.

I am going to tell you what it really means to be a young, dumb, full of cum, Texas kid going through SEAL Training. Not the hoopla. Not the machismo. Not the ‘end game’ killing OBL.

No.

Just the story of four or five score scared shitless young kids, who had no idea what they had signed up for… And I was the oldest amongst them, but even, truth be told, the more scared. Because I knew better… Should have known better.

End of Rant.

Please stay tuned.

** And yeah! My own Father was a Korean-Era USMC: ‘Spit an’ Shine, Nickel and a Dime, United States Marine Corps!”

So what?

He weren’t no SEAL (Then again, neither was I)

18 thoughts on “Running in Soft Sand: Part Two

  1. Awesome, especially in calling out all the fakes who claimed to be former SEALs (Hell, I got guys younger than me (46) panhandling with signs claiming to be Viet Nam vets, so spreads the disease of Chronic Fake-Vet Bullshit-itis (CFVBS).

    Your ASVAB score is freaking amazing. That is the highest possible, right, if I remember my recruiter correctly? I scored a 90 myhself in 1990, which blew my recruiter away, so therefore, he pushed me to take the Nuke Test (on which, alas, I only scored a 52).

    Seriously, I gotta catch up on all these great SEAL segments. You guys truly are the REAL elite (BTW, nothing against jar heads, but LMFAO @ “The few, the proud, the dead on the beach”). As a Navy man, I’m sure you know all about how us surface dudes and the bubbleheads used to fuck with each other – We called the subs “coffins”, they called our surface vessels “targets”.

    hey, but in the end, we were all brothers!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Justice My Friend,

      Your comments are always so spot on. Thank you for taking to time to write and contribute.

      Where to begin?
      Yes, I have a real problem with anyone claiming to have been a Navy SEAL who wasn’t. I suppose if I had been an Army Dude, I’d have the same reactions to anyone professing to have been a ‘Greenie Beanie” (sorry Army–couldn’t resist), or a Recon Ranger.

      ASVAB? HIghest possible score (in ’85 anyway) was 99. (The Navy always, and you know this, inserts ‘ace-busters’ into all tests. No one, I mean no one can ever make a ‘perfect one hundred.)

      Yeah, I almost ‘aced’ the ASVAB, but here is a fact that only my first ex-wife knows:
      I studied for six months before I took that sucker. And they, always ‘they’ said that that was a test one could not ‘study’ for.
      Bullshit!
      I am proof. How do you think I ‘aced’ the parts about auto mechanics, electronics, even math for fuck sake? These were subjects I knew not one whit about. Yet…

      “We called the subs “coffins”, they called our surface vessels “targets”.”

      Yes. We did.

      Justice,
      Again, thank you very much for your thoughtful commentary here. Your time is always greatly appreciated… Shipmate.
      Heheheh
      Go Navy!
      Kick Army’s ASS!

      Like

      • Basically, a Garret Trooper was all dolled up, looked good on recruiting posters and news reels… and never actually got his hands bloody. (If that’s what you meant by being confused.} My dad used to call anyone who claimed to be with any given unit, when it was obvious that they hadn’t been, a Garret Trooper, regardless of military branch.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. A buddy of mine who was a PJ (at the time) explained it to me this way: Everyone who claims to be or to have been a SEAL is full of shit. Some because they were never SEALs, the others because they were. 😀

    I’m not knocking SEALs or the broader Navy, I just thought it was funny.

    Liked by 1 person

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