Just had to…. reblog.
Now, let us ‘deconstruct’ “Y’all”
In the English Oxford Dictionary, ‘you’
“Used to refer to the person or people that the speaker is addressing”
Yeah, not so fast.
Southerners having none of that.
See? English English breaks down right there.
We (us southerners) need more.
Southerners need ‘Y’all’
Now ever’one needs “Y’all”
Sometimes… we need “All Y’all.”
(just to make certain there is no ambiguity)
And P.S. My good friend, Pain, over at http://exileonpainstreet.com/
once said, and I try to quote:
“If I see too many posts in My Reader… I get ‘overload’ and delete them all.”
He said that.
I admire that: his truthfulness.
I too, try and usually fail, to read… ever’one.
But… I never delete.
I just try to catch up.
I was perusing my recent posts (Yes I do that, mostly to make sure I did not fail to comply, to reply to any and all comments—my ‘House’ Policy: ‘Reply, Upon Pain of Death, To All Comments’–That is how WE Roll.)
In some truth, I do this because I am just that vain.
Well now, with that little bit of TMI outta the way, Here is the pointless point to this ‘pre-post.’
“A ‘Pre-Post?’ some may ask.
“Yep. A Pre-Post.”
“Whatever could he mean?”
Often ideas for ‘posts’ come from music (duh).
As I was driving to the Beer / Copenhagen Store, my Favorite Radio Station (read: the only one whut is worth a shit here in this Elvis’ City of Music by the Mississippi), was playing this song:
Vid Cretion (sp):
It, the song, reminded me of my first Stripper/Madonna/Whore/Single-mother/mutha/ethnic sexual love of my life.
I was, if memory serves, 10 years old at the time, yet I never ever forgot her name:
And she ruined me for all the ‘other’ women to come, or not to come, in my life.
P.S. And of course there is some ‘back-story’ to this “Pre-Post”
Hell! There always is and generally accompanied by a ‘link’.
If not, well then… then you would not be here at TT&H.
Now would you?
(just pay extra shipping an’ handling….)
OKay! I’ll bite.
Send me tw2… Of these:
Just kidding Fredricka!
(All thinking folk know you are priceless)
(Fred is the ONLY Reason God Made CNN Weekends… and most likely: Oklahoma–We will not speak of Texas—yet.)
And… She runs/swims/bikes in Triathlons
I love her and so should you.
I know ‘we’ are all so ‘distraught’ over Joan’s passing, but… she did show her ‘ungracious’ ass.
And ‘Fred’ remained, retained as always,
Her True Ladyhood and just good manners.
This is how we should all ‘roll.’
The scariest thing to me…
Was at sea.
In the Indian Ocean, late one night
(That “IO” That Ho!)
Late at Night.
And the ship was tight.
And the waves were big.
IO, She was angry.
And I was scared.
(No! HE Was scared).
I was never scared!
I was drinking coffee… And in between, walking on the bulkheads—all you sailors out there—can relate, and compare…
Never scared, but aside from my ‘coffee mates,” I knew, did, had done… the same drill… Too many times. (Fuckin’ Black-Shoe Navy!)
And if any of y’all find any of my ‘Sea Stories” unbelievable…The preamble to any good sea story is “This is a no-shitter…”
And then there was Melville…I’ve been around the world and once saw two white whales fuck.. I did. And there were dolphins… standing by… giggling.
I have been to Australia.
And it follows, I have been to sea before:
And here, (for you purists) is the original, stolen from “Hejira”:
My Thanks to
“I’m just a simple soldier Son.
“With one more Year to Go.””
But, I call it…. Nope!
“The cannons don’t thunder; there’s nothin’ to plunder…”
Here is an opinion y’all did not see coming: This is a Stupid Fantasy Song. A Texan said that! Nay! I am (he said, “A Comanche!”
Now, that is funny…
Not to put too fine a point upon it, but, I have a finite time left. Once upon a time, I stepped on a dime and it was promised to me, you see… I never contemplated ‘finite’, as you see, everything was infinite to me… And in my unsung mind, that was how it should be. Unshining dime.
Certainly no less.
Anyway, as ‘brevity is the soul of wit…’ I find me witness, er, wireless, sycophant.
I got ROBBED by Thesim And some other is ‘ISM’s!!!!
(Yes! I am looking for a fight. A fight with all you Hyper-Christians. Yep)
And yes! YES! We can be as radical as you!
I Had to go to Egypt. Egypt! Egypt!
To sate… me.
Upon sober reflection, I decided to ‘edit’ that bit out.
“Why, Oh Why Lance, do you edit yourself?”
“Because I can Grasshopper. Because I can.”
And, NO! This ain’t no suicide! Note: This is a preamble, to the gamble… I lost.
Lost? You ask?
That, “Hey Lance! Let’s run dope! Lance! No,”..Lance, let us not ‘run’ thru mis…Miss Mis. No!”
I made me. I did that. I worked hard. I was honour. I was. It was never enuff to make the money. Was it?
There was never enough!
AND YOU KNOW WHAT??
I laugh at my own hyperbole.
I really do …
fade back into the shadows; I Am no World Leader…
But I screwed the pooch…
I denied. For you see?
Now, this is a test.
Because I am bored. I have severed my country…
I Just wanna see…how good… is the NSA.
(and… I am a bit of a ‘rebel’ all in all…)
And when the U. S. A. Understands that, then that… will fix…
And vex… us all.
End of Rant (ain’t ya glad?)
-Lance (The Nice One)
“Just takes a while!”
I feeel like I’ve drown’d’
Gonna he’d up town…
meanwhile back at the ranch…
Sometimes Lance makes sense; sometimes he
OKay: it is now time to drop the illiterate–the ‘Cool’ behind all that. I mean, I am not going for the “cool” vernacular anymore. I speak English. I am My Father’s Son. I do not…
Here is the scary part:
It all makes sense to him.
A gun, made of plastic…
(Just like the M16 in The Nam)
And you can just tell. It’s Swell! Made by Mattel!
Swell… Ergo: I grew up…. killing…
I have been...aw shit! Y’all know this.
…Was to bring fresh, peace, piece? or fresh peaches?… truth: I forgot.
Nevertheless, my intent was to inject some ‘Freshness’ into this blog. I may fail. But! Hey! Gonna give some ole college try (spoken by one who had never finished
collage, er, college.)
See? I know words… and semantics… and malapropism.
Some out there in “Radio Land” may be asking, “Hey! Why
don’t doesn’t Lance ever finish a story?” Case in recent point, “Running in Soft Sand,” or “The Barmaid Who Whacked Me, But Did Not Mean It…The Whacking Part..?”
or countless others…
Just one more Vietnam Vet who never ever went to Viet Nam…
My respond? I get bored with my own prose.
Get your own!
There! I admit it.
Stay tuned: It can only grow worse.
This makes more sense to me than all my ‘recent rants’ combined and then doubled.
Thank You Anna.
I am gonna reblog my own blog (well, not really my blog, but my sister’s). More important, I love my sister, even though she does not always know that.
My Beautiful Sister, Ann Marie Vancas,
wrote this and posted it on Facebook.
So naturally I had no qualms about stealing it. (I did ask her permission however)
Seeing and reading into pieces of people’s lives….the musicians..the actors…artists…housewives…doctors…famous and the not so famous…
The memes…the themes…the lives and the lies..
People crying..and people dying…
Beach trips…road trips..acid trips…
I have met many people and lost them on this site…
The fights… the flights…the makeups and the breakups…
A reality show with thousands of channels…
Windows into people’s lives…sometimes what is really there and sometimes…only what they want you to see..
The Liberals…the Conservatives..the Middle of the Roaders…
The comfort and the chastisements from strangers and friends alike..
The all over the place posters…and the take it to the private messagers…
The celebrations..and the tears….
But before all of this…
The beach trips..the road trips…
Long talks under and over …
View original post 56 more words
Below please find today’s bit:
Even that statement is wrong. It presupposes that religious folk do not have a sense of humor, or that they are intolerant of not-religious folk. I know of only one religion which is totally intolerant and not open to sense of humor. I don’t need to name it, but we all know its name (Shhh…. Don’t tell. But it starts with an M and ends with an ‘um’. Yeah! You guessed it: “Methodist-um” )
(Now I know, I have been uncharacteristically silent on the ISIS CRISIS in specific and ‘Religion Poisons Ever’Thing’ in General. I am ‘back-building’, much like that volcano in Iceland. What you may experience here, today, is just a fissure, impotently spewing. ‘Fissuring’, if you will. Don’t worry: The Big Bang is coming folks and it ain’t gonna be nothin’ nice.)
Shhhhh…. don’t tell. Keep yer head, and yer wits, and yer tits, and yer clits about you.
So… Don’t speak. Bad for your health: ‘Speaking.’
Listen / Watch Here Below: And Christopher’s last line (in case you missed it)
So ‘be cool’ and watch it, for it is timely, given our present present.
The Lenny Bit (Religion Inc) Listen if You Please:
More Lenny Here:
Thanks For Listening
And just for fun:
“Lance ‘Dun’ Went Three Bubbles Off Plumb!”
Now, “Run Tell That!”
I do love anyone and ever’one who darkens my doorstep.
Now… sleep is an option I long to explore.
Catch Y’all on the Flip-Flop.
Pretty much have said all my piece for a spell.
“colder than a ticket taker’s smile
at the Ivar Theatre, on a Saturday night”
OKAY: (Leeward Side)
(But never despair: There is music — and video– down there. Bear..Bare?? With me on this one!)
I am (once again) late for the party.
You have been granted a ‘pass’.
Don’t open this one.
It is depressing, all in all anyhow.
And yes, more now than ever:
..And I find it ‘timely.’
“Dear (fill in the name) I am so sorry we are apart, but you see, I am serving… something, something greater, something important, something, some power, Uh, My ego. See you soon. Love, Lance”
Away from my Homeland.
Sometimes in Service of my Country.
Sometimes in Service of Lance.
But, always, always, In Service of That Great American Dream.
I came home from Iraq in ’09.
Went to Kandahar in ’11.
Came home late ’12.
There is no American Dream no mas.
The Bureaucrats killed it.
I am a Patriot.
I love my country.
But now, I do not recognize my country.
Now, I am leaning to socialism.
This post is but a beginning.
I am not gonna bore y’all with Lenny and Sarah, and bullshit anymore.
I am gonna bore you with reality.
For those of Y’all ‘Fraid of the NSA, well, bow out now gracefully. I have no fear, but I am old and have nothing to lose. And to quote Bette Davis: “Fasten Your Seatbelts; it’s going to be a bumpy night.”
And, Yes! I am not stupid. I do recognize the dichotomy of the diametrically opposed points of the two songs I present below for your perusal. You must sort out your own feelings.
And some tongue in cheek.
And some more… tongue in cheek.
“I am not stupid.”
(“Doth the gentleman protest too much?”)
Now, some would argue, “Lance is just living in his past; he is craving for the days when Revolution was a real possibility”
Some might say that.
I say, “There is no better time than the present, to take it up; because things now, are really fucked up.”
Wake the hell up, America!
I love my America.
I truly do.
As I am wont to reiterate, ad nauseum: Lance is no dummy. He is not stupid. (even though, He often speaks as him, in some third person… no matter.
My point here is thus:
Walon Jennnings was somewhat deluded. Yes. Deluded. When he wrote that
above below song, somewhere way back then… in the Nineteen Seventies. All thinking people know this. But know this about me: I am a cockeyed optimist. I want to believe, and yet, I am an atheist.
Therein, lies some dichotomy, eh?
(I guess I just felt compelled to ‘throw’ that in, just so you’d know…all you intellectuals out there, that I really do READ Stuff.)
And here is ‘some pie in yer eye’: “I have actually been THERE!”
(And sad to be reduced to throwing ‘Peanut’ at ya, but… “Now! Run Tell That!”)
There are people in Gaza: REAL PEOPLE.
(I just threw that in, so’d you’d know how ‘liberal’ this Texan/Comanche is…)
I have a serious bug-up-my-butt!
I am only going to say this once (Thank Baby Hey-Zeus!)
The People Who Died On Nine – Eleven
Were NOT Heros!
THEY were VICTIMS!
That is ALL THEY Were!
revenge avenge them!
Ed. Note: Of course the first responders Were, nay ARE Heroes and shall always remain such. And as Mark pointed out so were those civilians inside the towers who gave their lives trying to help their fellows escape. When I refer to ‘victims’ I am referring to the ninety percent who were just doing what we all do everyday: We get up, go to work, come home, kiss the significant other, pet the dog or the cat or the goldfish, and then next day, rinse and repeat. They were just innocent victims.
And I have been to war, and revenge is lame and not really strategic.
It is just… death.
(You figger out my meaning)
I am done here.
P.S. If anyone out there knows history of the Mid East….
I invite debate.
And I worked so hard… to get the “Stray Cat Shuffle” for y’all. And here it was, right here, all along:
And for some YouTube Reasons the above link don’t work: try the one below.
(Yeah! I am pissed at technol–Oh Gee!)
Don’t give up,
And remember: if your computer is ‘broken’, re-boot.
Solves ninety nine per-cent of problems…
These word ‘O’h These words!
From an’ old computer geek.
(And no! I never envisioned that day, that day, whereby, I would even think, let alone, utter, those words. Guess I have come full circle.)
(If you have not, to yet, visited this man’s art page… Do so now)
Wonderful ‘Stuff’ to be found.
Not ‘him’ per se, but ‘him’ in the way he could say… words.
That is what I meant.
And oh yeah, Miss America: I want World Peace too.
Could not resist:
Tomorrow I embrace my Fifty-Seventh Year.
I find me asking me of late:
“So… Lance, what have you done?”
And ‘somewhat’ related: And…Talia Shire Will never, ever look so good.
(That Beret! That Beret! Cabaret!)
And of course, not without saying…
And Michael York.
And… whatever happened to Jimmy Buffett’s hair??? (I did read his book, “a pirate looks at
forty” fifty, sixty??. did not glean anything from it ‘cept that he loves ‘boat-planes’– shit! I could have ‘wrote’ a better book. Jes sayin’…)
My tweet (if I ever tweet) to Jimmy:
Dude, stick to music. That is what you do best. Leave the prose to those who have some prose… to share. And no! I ain’t talking ’bout me, but in general speakin’…)
(See way below for the JB bits)
(and, yes: Navy SEALs)
Picks up that conversation:
“Not too much,” I must confess.
“But surely you have touched some lives?”
“Yeah, but mostly in a bad way. I did my best in war zones. I was ‘The antithesis’ of the ‘Bad American.’ Other than that, nope.”
“Perhaps you are being too hard on yourself?”
“You really don’t know me, do you?”
“Well… no. Not exactly. This is just a job to me. Go on.”
“I’d rather not, but hey! Thanks for stopping by.”
“I suppose my ‘work’ here is done. Then?”
“Yeah. You may be excused.”
“Thanks, because I am late for my appointment with J-Law.”
“But you said one thing; got my attention: You said ‘torched’.
“Naw! I said ‘scorched’ There is some difference.”
And I leave Y’all with this. It fits:
Or, as Mammy (Hattie McDaniel) said, via ‘Gone With The Wind’:
“It just ain’t fittin'”
(She ‘won’ an Oscar for that. Ya surely know) And in her acceptance speech, she said, and I quote: “I sincerely hope I shall always be a credit to my race.” Can you believe she actually felt compelled to say those words? Well, it was 1940… I suppose.
Lance loves you Mammy (Hattie)
And look up the word ‘class’ in any dictionary. There you will find a photo of Katherine Hepburn.
Oops! I meant Bette Davis (shit! I cannot tell from the vid which one, Kate or Bette–HBO!–help a brother out here. Which one?) Personally, I am gonna go with
Kate. After further review, I am going with Bette.
“Just hold on and suck in.”
Yeah! I always pick the ‘raw’ video. Jus’ me, I suppose.
It was, in fact, my birthday.
Thanks for riding along.
For, there will be Nothing… Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
Cheers. Beers. Jears. Tears.
And if you find a plethora of parenthesis here…They are for my friend, SS and solely for her own edification.
If you care to dare, Here is her link:
But Be Brave
Yet…she scares me…
And last and certainly not least….
“We’re gonna let you go.”
I guess “all of the above” rightly sums up my life.
Happy Birthday to me.
This is the Kroger’s I visit every day.
I have found nothing but nice (Yes, BLACK) people there, helping me.
This happened Sunday.
I cannot even imagine.
Not at MY Kroger’s.
I am saddened.
Spike Lee is a hero of mine: He gives good movie and ya just gotta love Samuel L. Jackson… Just saying:
There needs to be some space.
Are these two men the “stupidest” One and a Half-Men in America?
In The World?
In The Solar System?
In The Galaxy?
IN THE UNIVERSE?
YEAH. Fuck Yeah! (To paraphrase Phil, “Git dem genes outta da pool!”)
What say y’all?
(Disagree. I love it when y’all disagree)
But to me, Their brains and their arguments appear as if two marshmallows were colliding in mid-air.
“But The Bible says….”
However, you may purchase male or female slaves from among the foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase the children of such resident foreigners, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property, passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat your slaves like this, but the people of Israel, your relatives, must never be treated this way. (Leviticus 25:44-46 NLT)
And unlike ninety percent of the ‘Christians’ out there, I have actually read the Bibles–yep–both of them.
“Convert them or kill them.”
–Phil Robertson (0:3:41 on the video)
(Jeepers! I really cannot comment on the obvious here.)
“We’re not even ‘over there’ in the Middle East.” –Phil.
read, uh, wrote a book once.” –Hannity
Hannity makes me ill:
Vid Credit: C0ct0pusPrime
Then there is Lenny on RACE:
And here is Dustin Hoffman being Lenny on Race:
I really *like* this post. (guess I have no choice)
Some of Y’all may have seen this one coming.
Some also may have discerned one salient
fact point of my perception of myself:
‘I think I am bulletproof.’ *insert BUD/s here*
Hell! I have always lived my life that way, embracing that one paralyzed fact. I just know I am such:
“I think, therefore I am… bullet proof.”
(So sorry, René )
Hey! Just walk away Renee:
Vid Credit: hawkmoon03111951
And on and on…
How could anyone get past that and ever even know how fragile even I may be? *insert Shonnie here*
(Smirk) It begs credulity.
Well… I had my Bulletproof Ass handed to me a few days ago.
The consensus around the Camp Fire that is my GF’s workplace (Saint Jude—Lot of smart folks work there—mostly doctors an’ such) is that Lance had ‘experienced’ a minor heart attack. Now ain’t that funny? Ain’t that rich? AAD (“Also a Doctor”—stolen line from Wolfe’s ‘The Right Stuff’ — Also a doctor. The words the first schmuck said to Chuck Yeager right after he parachuted from one hundred thousand feet and crash landed:
“You look like shit” – misquote, but you get the drift: just look it up and move on…
(I was all gray an’ shit and I had all the symptoms, and my BP was… approaching escape velocity, but… shit! I was just ‘funnin’.)
Ed note: Just received an email from my… doctor… ok, she is not MY doctor, only an old friend. Anyhow, she is a pharm-assist. She says I had a Myocardial infarction.
“A what?” I had to ask.
“You had a fucking heart attact! Dig it, ASSHOLE?”
“Yeah, I dig. So What?”
And then I invited her to not use profanity on my Blog Page. (she hung up on my dumb ass after that. I cannot imagine why)
My Grandfather died, at ’55 of a “Myocardial infarction. ” Think I am not scared? Naw! Ain’t.
Ain’t that rich? Been there; done that. No T-Shirt, alas. Nothing to hang on my “I Love Me Wall.”
“He, most likely, has ‘experienced’ a heart attack.” Kinda like I ‘experienced’ ‘Six Flags Amusement Park. Or Four Years in Iraq. Or a year and a half in Afghanistan, not to mention three years in Sinai, back when nobody had even ever heard of it—now that, dear reader, is sorrow:
“Hey Good –Lookin’, where do you work at?” asked she, The Hot Babe. (The ‘at’ shoulda told me she ‘weren’t’ for me anyhow, but when you’re young, who gives two shits for grammar? I axe you.)
“I work in The Sinai Desert, for the State Department” answered I, lonely guy on R&R, too far from Texas where I did not even need to employ my bullshit.
“Oh… Sorry. I only date guys who work in cool places. Bye!” She said, as she followed on over to the Fraternity Asshole House…(s) Doubtful she found cerebral stimulation there, but what the hell, eh?
Yeah, I ‘experienced’ those too. Those were great… experiences.
Point is, my personal health issues notwithstanding: I am back. (for now)
And am back to comment, torment, regale, impale, exhale, exhalt, vent, rant, recant, apologize, criticize, proffer, pro-offer, disclaim, disdain, mock, muse, love, confuse, confer, confide, and certainly collide.
And all that shit above is denied.
I have this pain… in my… ass. (and me chest)
More later… assuming I get over myself tonight.
P.S. Let us just call this a ‘Stream of Consent’ Or a ‘Babbling Brook of Mind’.
Vote on it: Get back to me.
I almost forgot the best part of this post:
Hit me like a slow bullet
All of you “likers” don’t get the ‘jist’ of the ‘jisters,’ now, do you? I don’t often ask for a lifeline, but…
(and my bank is broken)
(and if anyone out “There” ever misconstrues that, THAT, as a plead for money, for me, well, fuck, Nay FUCK you!. I was merely communicating my status.
I know this now (“Took you long enuff Asshole.”).
I never mean to hurt; I just spew… stuff… outta my mind…
Keep yer ‘symphany.’ And your musical parades for the poor.
Give your money to Palestine…
That’s the “Lance” we sorta, love.
Rock on, LM!
As long and as has (he?) been long (and boring) as has this post, I will never delete it.
Because I love Sade.
That is the simple truth, Ruth.
Or perhaps ‘Truth #2’
But then, those of you who know… know.
It’s my page…
“Love is a gun.”
For some of y’all regular (read: ‘Old-Timers’-visitors’ to my blog), you may recognize this link to SS.
For you new amongst us, maybe you should just ‘stay calm and carry on.’
Either way, I appreciate your comments and your visits, and no!
I am not Tim.
Well, at least not today. Maybe tomorrow.
And yeah! SS is one of my favorite sites…
And yes! Tell her I sent ya!
(I am trying to get her to ‘like’ me.)
Not!!!! Not really; I am just pushing her buttons.