Israel: My Favorite Country (aside from TEXAS)

So Iran is pissed off at Israel.

Threatening Israel.

HEY IRAN! FUCK AROUND. FIND OUT!

Israel has the strongest, best military in the Mideast. They have the fiercest soldiers. They have the best technology. What you gonna do Iran? Throw rocks against nukes?

Good fucking luck with that.

As anyone who knows me, knows I lived in that region for three years. I had a flat in Tel Aviv. I KNOW these people.

FUCK WITH THEM AT YOUR DESERVED PERIL

They don’t fuck around.

They don’t play.

Watch your Khomeini Ass

And just in case you happen to be “uneducated” and don’t ‘git’ me:

I’ll help you out:

“In the UK, you’re more likely to hear the word “flat” used interchangeably with “apartment.”

You’re welcome

MUSIC BINGO

They threw a lot of “Mental Health Professionals” at us in Denton. They all had some “Game.”

One of the more enjoyable “Games’ we played at UBH Denton was “Music Card Bingo.”

Sorta like “Name That Tune” For Broken PPL

As you can see, I did quite well.

It actually was FUN. We truly all did enjoy these ‘Sessions’, especially My Girl, “Ethel, the Pirate’s Daughter.”

(I miss her so much. See link in the comment section)

Comment Section:

For My Missed Girl:

I’m just trying to make Y’all Laugh a little. Lord Knows We NEED it.

Return To Sender

(Video credit: ticktock70)

I ordered a new mind from Amazon dot com. (cost me some big bucks) But I think they delivered it to the wrong address.

Anybody seen it?

(It will be a very small package, marked ‘Fragile’ and Easily overlooked amongst all the bills and shit)

Will be the package with the addressee “Asshole” on it.

 Please return it to me. I really need it.

***

(Update: Made the beer/wine/Copenhagen Run.

Mission Accomplished!

No apparent casualties — except for my credit card balance.

PISS OFF

Some bitch neighbor (not Timothy—who has not hit me up for a free beer in over a week—“Thank you, Tim”, by the way: I am NOT drinking for two), came pounding on my door.

“Why do you flush the toilet so much?”

Apparently she can hear that toilet flush through the wall and it disturbs her fucking concentration.

“I flush so much because I piss so much. Now fuck off and get outta my face before I am tempted to fucking choke you to death. But for your benefit, from now on I will piss in the fucking sink. Because I RESPECT MY FUCKING NEIGHBORS ”

She ran away.

Screaming.

Fucking Coward.

Pretty sure there will be repercussions for my rude behavior and I will be forced to pay for my sins.

Guess how many fucks I give.

Cowboys (And Cowgirls) And Muses

The astute will notice the “barefoot and pregnant” part of this vid. The not astute will not.

Not your fault. Our World is currently lacking in “astute.”

(Yeah. I am an asshole.)

Muse says (Yeah, She came home) says,

“Where have all the Cowboys gone?”

“There is one right here in front of you. Open your eyes.”

“I’ll go wash the dishes; you go have a beer.”

“There’s a good girl.”

Then she knocked the shit out of me.

“So glad you’re back.” I said, as I reached for a washcloth to stop the bleeding from my nose.

“Why did you hit me?”

“Because you’re an idiot!!

Could not argue that logic, nor that fact.

(Muse has a wicked right hook. Will endeavor in the future to not piss her off. )

(And no, I am not stupid enough to misunderstand the meaning and not-so-subtle nuance in this Paula Cole song)

And the irony that is my life.

I do love the song, however.

And I love my imaginary lover, My Beautiful Muse.

Imaginary lovers are the best kind:

Very low-maintenance.

(Generally)

*****

Little related “added value:”

Abusive Lovely Muse–Chapter Two or More “musiness” found here: and here: