“The Forgotten, Forsaken, Left-Behind Cantaloupe”

Yes. Yes. Yes! I know! This is stupid, but I wanted to post something today while I continue to work on that “Great American Novel”

From FB: “Alright, since I am a lazy son-of-a-bitch and cannot seem to get my shit together and I NEEDED to PUBLISH something today, ANYTHING, I published this! Screw it! I will write something GOOD soon!”

Wait for it. (That Great American Novel)

It is coming!

***

Apparently in the not-too-distance-past I had purchased a cantaloupe.

During my recent trip to the Beer Store and as I was loading my purchase into the back seat of my Ford I saw something alive and pulsating on the floorboard. Scary shit. This thing was ALIVE! And probably NOT Happy!

Visibly shaken, I got behind the wheel and drove home as fast as I could. Glancing over my shoulder every so often, expecting to be attacked from the rear.

Damn the Speed Limits! This was an emergency!

Got home and quickly off-loaded my beer and wine and got THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

This should teach me A life lesson. Military Mantra: No Cantaloupes should ever be left behind. We just don’t roll that way.

I fucked up. I know this. I may need some tactical support to fix this one: Zombie Cantaloupe Apocalypse Now Situation

This has absolutely nothing relevant to add to this post but I love it (and I could not find any more cantaloupe songs to accentuate my point, so screw it)

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