Way back in the day when I was a wee child and living in Kansas City with My Daddy and my Evil Step-Mom DJ, I had a pet hamster.

He was a tiny baby hamster, so I had to feed him from a very tiny baby milk bottle. I loved feeding him so much in this way.

Well I kinda ‘over-did’ it and one day he just exploded.

It was, needless to say, a shocking mess.

Hamster abuse!

Unintentional.

But I was guilty!

Imagine my remorse.

This was my first personal tragedy.

First time I ever felt sorrow.

I tried to hold on to memories of happier times:

But I kept having this recurring dream:

I was not an evil child.

But I grew up to be an evil man.

It’s a Darwinian thing:

“Evolution”

Survival of the fittest

What goes around comes around I guess.

Karma?

Good Karma?

I’ve accumulated none.

(And probably too late to rack up any)

Oh wait!

John and Yoko can hook me up!

Added Bonus Value: HAMSTERDAM:

Video Compilation Credit: hartzilladesign