What I hear while on the telephone with WordPress Customer Diss-Me-Service:
WordPress, how do I hate Thee?
Let Me Count The Ways.
(This Make Take Some Time. Have A Seat. I’ll Get You A Drink)
****
Hey WP! This Below could be dedicated from me to you.
(If you were worth-a-shit!)
Sadly.
You are Not
******
****
Hey WP!!
Could Not (In Honest Conscience)
Dedicate Much to you,
But I DID Continue to Work at it.
Found Something
Special
Just for You!
Have a Nice Day!
Credit: Ashnikko
A very long TT&H Project I am working on:
“KAREN, The Only Non-Texan Girl I Ever Loved”
(Working Title)
OK. That’s a Bullshit Lie.
But it Looked Good to Me In Print.
So I’m gonna run with it.
*****
Just need to wait for her to send me the photo records…
“Dear Karen,
I have a favor to ask:
Would you please email me any and all photos of us together?
(All Mine perished in a fire—that my last Wife started)
I am working on a blog story.
Don’t worry.
I am respectful.
It will be very flattering to you.
Because I did love you once.
(Probably still do)
But you weren’t no Texan.
Video credit: patgree
I forgave you that however.
Thanks in advance, -Lance.”
She emailed me back:
“I can and will. Give me a few days, I’m not at home at the moment.
I do get the just. (Pretty sure she meant ‘Gist’, but English was never her strong suit–she had ‘other talents.’) So a favor back, do I get to read what you are writing?”
I replied,
“Of course you do. The post is gonna be all about you.
And how I truly did love you.
Smoke that!
Ponder it.
You silly Gurl! I still love you.
Below is how I remember you:”
Street Vid Cred: catman916
*****
Oh And BTW,
Where the Fuck is “Ipanema?”
“Well, that passed.”
I love you Margie
(Frances)
*******
Condition
(“I saw so much I broke My Mind.”)
I know I am an asshole,
But I write what I feel.
And I am Honest.
AND I DO RESPECT MY READERS.
(Both of them)
Believe it or Don’t
Your Choice.
For Any Enquiring Minds Who Give-A-Shit:
I recently deleted My Face-Fuk Account of 12 Years.
Guess what happened next.
FaceBook sent a buxom Blond to Mi Casa.
Ostensibly to give me a blow-job.
But it did not take me long to figger out that all she wanted was for me to undelete my account.
I politely invited her to go f^ck herself.
(She left in haste)
In a cloud of dust and flying gravel.
“Down the Road In A Cloud Of Smoke.”
Good Riddance!
(I went back to my neglected beer and we had a good time–spending some quality time together)
“Love’s a gift that’s truly handmade.”
–JJ Walker
Just One More In The Continuing Series:
“All The Women Lance Loves”
Have a Blast.
(WIP)
Street Cred Vid Share Credit: stumblingChaos
*****
Olivia on the phone with me:
(Wanna Talk Vain Fantasy?)
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And Just To Lift Your Spirits:
“O happy dagger,
This is thy sheath.
There rust and let me die.“
Whomever posted this really fucked it up with their lame-ass dubbed-in music.
But it was the only clip I could find.
(Give me some time)
I will find a more respectful version
*****
Bonus (Just for fun)
“Do you know it?”
“Every word.”
(Writers inhabit a strange/insane/inane world)
“Writer is he?”
“Did I mention her bosom?”
*******
“Strangely enough, I’m a bit of a writer myself.
Won’t take you long to read it.
I expect you know all the booksellers…”
(Exeunt Stage Left)
Gwyneth, I don’t care that you are bat-shit crazy nuts!
I adore you!
*****
I love the emotions Shakespeare drags out of me…
Kicking and screaming
Claire is so beautiful!
*****
Yeah I know.
I suck at editing.
Wanna come help me out?
(I might even pay you)