Actually in my last post, I kinda lied.
We were on the same plane but bound for two different destinations:
She to Missouri.
Me to Texas.
During the flight across the pond to America, I went back to the stewardess shack, and said,
“See that Nordic Blonde there in 27B?
She has agreed to marry me. Got any Champagne?”
“Sure. We’ll bring it to you.”
I returned to 27A and sat down beside my fiancé.
Presently Pleasant stew arrived with Moët & Chandon and poured two glasses.
Ela and I sucked those down.
After a spell I went back to the stewardess shack.
“Got any more Champagne“ I asked.
One stew just handed me the bottle.
Huge mistake on her part.
By the time wheels-down in New Jersey I was, shall we say, DRUNK.
We had a two hour layover.
I got drunker… during the wait.
And for some bizarre reason, we were to ride the same plane once again:
Me first to DFW, and then she to Springfield Missouri.
(I do not pretend to know how all this works)
Finally, as we were boarding the plane, I said something incredibly stupid,
“First thing I want is a beer!”
That was all it took.
They kicked me off the plane. Ela followed close behind.
When I protested they threatened me with Homeland Security.
With promises from the Airline that we could fly next day.
Provided I showed up sober.
I drunkenly promised I would, and then slinked away in shame… With Ela, who was horrified–
“I’ve never been kicked off a plane!” She said.
“Welcome to My World,” I said.
To Be Continued…