Shit Done Jumped Off (Again)–or–“Why do I have to keep writing about these things?”

Recent update:

Upon some not-so-sober refection and some feedback,

I just have to add,

THIS:

This post is, as said, stream of consciousness.

Not much more to say.

So, I just say,

This post is fucked up.

A journey into the nether.

The nether reaches

Of how my mind works.

Or does not work.

Don’t care.

Me.

I do not care.

Discovering that no one actually ‘reads’ my posts…

is

Somewhat ‘free’ing’

I like that.

Don’t read.

Do not watch my ‘added value’

It is all bullshit.

****

Author’s Note:

This is stream of consciousness

And gut-felt feeling.

Read at your own annoyance.

Thank you.

Drive Thru.

PPPS:

This Post is a fucking chocolate mess!

Fuck this Blog!

Texan Tales & Pyro-Glyphics!

Who wrote That?!

Some moron!

I am gonna delete this work from my life.

And mosey on down that mammary lane.

So….

Read fast!

And do NOT FORGET TO WATCH THE MADONNA “BAD GIRL” AT THE END!!!!!

***

***

As most of you know, who know me, think to know me, gracious enuff to read me, give-a-shit to try to know me, know this:

I have spent great portions of my life in places like Iraq, Sinai, Egypt, Israel, South-East Asia, Texas

(Some in Tennessee too, “But we don’t talk about that, do we Lance? Well, not overmuch”).

And…

 Afghanistan.

“Afghan-is-Sand”

He Went to Paris: I can smell the Darkness

It has been my Good, Great Fortune and Great Privilege to have known great, honorable, decent, brave people from all over the world.

(This is the unsaid benefit of travel—try it—you’ll hate it)

There’s no place like home…

***

My most recent ‘tour’ of ‘duty’ was in Helmand (Hell-Man!) Province, Afghanistan.

My heart is breaking for the Good People of Afghanistan.

In the Middle of the fucking East.

Sad?

Yep.

***

I used to think in terms of this below:

Employment opportunity for me?

Most Def.

“Put me in Coach.”

Opportunities for me to ‘fucking shine!’

To be somebody!

To be a fucking contender!

To do some good.

And to do some bad.

To suit, satiate, and feed my ego.

Or just for “Redemption Day”

Y’all know I am an atheist.

But however comma,,,,

Atheists are people too.

And we love our mothers just as much as ppl of faith love theirs.

We strive for redemption.

(Our definition somewhat diverges from the traditional ‘Christianne’ version, I must admit)

Nevertheless,

We do strive.

Butt…

I do not think like this any more

(nor any less)

But I am growing / glowing old.

I have lost ‘faith’ in my atheism ‘faith.’

(Anyone wanna explore how utterly fucked up and ill-founded, ill-conceived, ill-nourished, ill-pondered… that statement is???)

Good luck!

***

That once ‘Fire in my belly’ has turned peacefully to ember.

And to be honest, I am somewhat relieved.

And yet!

And YET!

Pissed off!

I do not want to pass that torch just yet.

Not ready!

My life has been one adventure followed hard upon the heels of the preceding.

To give that up…

Not in my Jeans, Genes, Frenetic, Foible, Stupid-beyond-repair, idiot mind.

Psychopath-ically Psycho Psyche

Not quite there yet.

“Put me in Coach! I’m ready to play!”

(My eternal, forever mantra)

Used to be.

Now…

Not sure I can muster the passion.

Vid Credit: allmydiscs

See the anger in her eyes?

The Sheryl Crow above vid.

Please tell me you watched it!

Gawd-dammit!

(Yeah. I see that too)

So many vids to accentuate my pointless point.

So little fucking time.

(Yes! Hell yes! Fuck yes!)

This post is chock-fucking full of profanity.

The One Thing, I can always hang on to

Always count upon

Always rely upon

Constant as the Northern Star (Polaris, which is ten degrees off-center and three  bubbles off plumb as wanna-be northern stars go…)

The one constant I can always embrace is this:

I am a sailor.

Ergo

I use profanity.

***

Back to the point of this post:

I am weep for Afghanistan

(The poor grammar is me firing for ‘effect’—deal—just deal with it)

Drive through.

Points well-taken.

Or not.

Fuck it!

I am NOT Happy.

And this is all that matters.

Ain’t it?

MY HAPPINESS

Not NUTHING ELSE Matters!

(Or does it?)

OR LACK THEREOF?

It is ALL ABOUT ME!!

Isn’t it???????????????????????????

“Hey! Lance! Go to fuck you!”

–Mama-San

mOST OF My TimME…..

iN AFGHANISTAN

WaS

WiTH Not-AfGHANisTAN.

It was with….

Expats.

Just pretending.

But…

I loved.

I LOVED

Afghanistan-is-Sand

Just like

Charlie

Wilson

I spent far too much

And far too little

Time

In

Afghanistan.

I honestly do not know what the fuck I am talking about.

But.

At least I showed up.

****

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