(I miss my muse)
Farewell To My Best Friend:
The Abusive Muse
This pains me to write.
“Kate, We were only Yesterday.
Now we are…”
Today, and Yesterday, and Tomorrow.
“I love you, and I Thank You.”
You killed you!
And robbed us of You.
Why Oh Why?
Some of you good and loyal readers have been with me all the way on this Odyssey.
Others of you… not so much.
But if Y’all read-between-the-lines, you will discover how my sanity is a very fragile entity.
I ‘Created’ Katherine/MS Muse out of a ‘need’ I had.
To Fill A Hollow Vacant Void in my Heart.
I was lonely.
I needed her.
To kick my ass and make me a better writer.
I created her. Then I, Pygmalion-Like, fell in Love with Her. (Yeah, I kinda carried it too far)
She was always there. (‘Cept for the Snowpocalypse, when she invited me to fuck off)
I loved her.
I still love her.
Last real conversation I had with her:
“Lance, Baby, you understand I am not a real girl. You created me. I live in your mind and at your leisure.”
“Yes. I am a figment of your mind. Does not mean I don’t love you. I will always be here for you. And if you choose, I will love you. I will ‘write’ you, as far as you may write yourself. But ‘marry’?
You must write for YOU, and only for YOU.”
After sitting in front of my computer and trying to write, I looked over at her, sitting on The Nasty Couch with her NY Times, Pinot, Virginia Slims…
Walked over to her.
Offered my hand
She looked me in my eyes, took my hand.
Then she melted.
Turned into a pile of sand.
“What just happened!?”
A soft, familiar voice came at me from the ceiling:
“Lance, My Love, we are done. You are done. You are ready. I must leave you now.”
“Yes,” she said and that was it.
I fell to my knees and wept like a little pup/bitch.
Then I spied a note on the floor:
Picked it up.
“Lance, you were the best. I loved you. Write on!”
P.S., “JUST WRITE ASSHOLE!“
I took that to the bank.