Uh? Did I Actually Write This Shite? I Must Be Rainman Without the Blackjack Skills. Bad Fortunes. Under-Achiever Me. And I Was Actually A Decent Count-Down-Artist. Once

Bad Dreams Are Always Trying To Gang-Tackle Me, (It Seems), But Then They Are Chased Away. By Good Fortune & Good People. (Perpetually in The Nick of Time)

*****

But then comes along…

  1. I’ve had a rough week and change.
  2. That last big storm we’d had shot down a lightning bolt into my ‘back-yard’ and knocked out my internet.
  3. For FOUR DAYS!
  4. (Thanks so Much for THAT, Zeus)
  5. It tried to gasp itself back to life. I was powerless to help. No CPR for Internets, I suppose.
  6. Was damn near out of booze.
  7. Got behind the wheel of my little Chariot.
  8. Turned the ignition: ‘Click, Click. Fucking Click!’
  9. I did NOT need this!
  10. Early Next A.M.
  11.  Called Hoover’s Automotive Repair—Told them I was sending them a ‘Project
  12. Then I called Benson Brothers, Legendary Towing Service.
  13. Next day Hoover-Man Delivered My ‘Labomba. He drove us back to Hoover’s so that I could ‘Settle Up’—Six hundred Bucks!
  14. By this point I was suffering Delirium Tremens—Shaking so bad, I could barely Barely. But I had to get some alcohol in me, with extreme ‘pred-a-juice’ or I would surely die.
  15. It was a race-against-the-clock.
  16. Got to my beer/wine/Copenhagen Store. My Man knew what I wanted (I always purchase the same items—he loaded them to my vehicle)
  17. Made it home. Now shaking uncontrollably. No way I was going to be able to unload my purchases.
  18. Happily (and luckily), I saw Cynthia sitting around a table with some friends of hers. Saw me & greeted Me, “Hey Baby, How Y’all doin?”
  19. I replied, “Not so good. Will you help me?”
  20. She walked over and asked, “What’s up?”
  21. I cannot unload  this stuff.
  22. She said, “Don’t worry. You go on in and I’ll bring it to you. Can you make it into your house?”
  23. “I think so,” I replied. 
  24. I was wrong.
  25. I could not make it up the only step up to my porch.
  26. One of Cynthia’s friends rushed over to help me and to my front door.
  27. I tried to get the key into the door knob—No dice—He took my key and unlocked the door.
  28. I shook over to my bed an fell half-way into it.
  29. Cynthia arrived with my ‘items’. I apologized for the state of my room, trying to explain that I had been in so much pain, that I could only manage a little bit of house-keeping at a time.
  30. She said, “I’ll clean it for you on Tuesday.”

Words failed me.

Wonderful , kind, generous woman.

I found my tongue, but  ”Thank you,”   Was best I could muster

*****

Out of All The Women I Have Known,
I Can Count On-One-Hand
The VERY FEW
Whoever Let Me Down….
And No!
I won’t be naming names

But on that flip side, I don’t have enough fingers and toes to add up all the women I have let down

*******

And Yes

My Nekke Bone Still Fukked!

—-Chaucer

Lance is a Chaucerian Fraud

(This ain’t no secret)

*******

Bonus:

Yeah.

I’ve had some ‘Bad Days’

“At Black Rock”

(For Film Buffs Only—Most likely)
I ripped this off because it is loosely related to this post.

I wrote a ‘scholarly’ paper on it and did a ‘Presentation’ too.
Complete with videos.
Guess my propensity to drop in vids started early
.

Oh, and BTW, I got an ‘A’ for my effort.

I did not have the heart to inform My Professor—Head of the English Department–that I wrote it drunk, in 45 mins, since he was so proud of me…

Cheers!

3 thoughts on “Uh? Did I Actually Write This Shite? I Must Be Rainman Without the Blackjack Skills. Bad Fortunes. Under-Achiever Me. And I Was Actually A Decent Count-Down-Artist. Once

  1. DFWSteve,

    Chaucer?
    Never heard of him,
    Would have been in any movie I’ve never seen?
    You know,
    Like ‘Spider Man 16’ or sumthin

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