New shit: “Nobody knows the Trouble I’ve Seen.” (And administered)
Fuk it!
(I’ll edit it later)
Goddamn it!
Git off my back!
Author’s Note (at the beginning… Yes. Yes. Fucking YES!! I know! Not Great Form!)
Fuck it!
Author’s Note:
Recent Au Courant events (Afghanistan) are bumming me out.
Charlie Wilson: “These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world… and then we fucked up the endgame.”
Nuff said?
“Yes Lance. Now STFU and write.”
“Okay.”
Okay, but…
One last ed. note:
This lame-ass post has a lot (even by my sub-standard standards)
A lot of attached… Lancelot Links and Vids.
It is highly (and drunkenly) recommended you ‘experience them all’ to get the
‘Full Benefit’
Jes sayin…
***
Now I know.
Now I know why
Now I know all the reasons whey–why
(“Lance! There is ALWAYS a Fucking Song! Ain’t they?!)
(Fuck off! Voice in my head)
And fuck you too Muse!
Run tell all that!
****
Now I know why I get drunk
Now I know why I used to stay drunk
Now I know why it is a good thing
And good for one
To stay drunk
Simple logistics and meta-physics:
To avoid the hangovers!
“The hairs of some dogs”
As it were
The hair of Man’s Best Friend!
For lack of a reason
Hairs of dogs are in season
***
Time of The Reason-Season
“What’s your name? Who’s Your Bag-Daddy??”
“Me! C’est Moi!”
(Asshole!)
Who’s Your Daddy?
Street Cred for Vid: andrew91118
Tis reason enuff.
To dip snuff.
(And I love dogs)
Amen
P.S. This is a ‘temporary’ affliction. It too shall pass.
“How do you know this Doctor Marcom?”
“Because I have been to Drunken Med School Grasshopper.”
This Computer Has Been Drinking (Not Me)
Street Cred for Vid: MasterBiblicalMemory
***
“But, Dr. Marcom, none shall pass. Pass out perhaps, but ‘pass’? Naw.”
None shall pass thru this life unscathed.
“Oye vay of little faith!”
“Dr. Marcom, you are stupid.”
*heavy sigh*
“Some people, you just cannot reach.”
What we have here…
Communication
***
Cynthia-The-Housekeeper and my Only BFF here in Commerce Amerika…
She.
She is ‘on to’ me.
She knows me.
She came to my door.
Asked me if I wanted to strip my bed.
Freudian Slip?
(Tuesdays here at Lion’s Lair are ‘Strip Yer Bed-Sheets Day)
I replied,
“No Ma’am; I’m good, but thanks for askin'”
She gave me that ‘Black-Woman-All-Knowing-Look’
That ‘Look’
That look that telegraphs.
Telegraphs “I know you’ve been drinking again”
My Tell-All, End All Tell.
Tis a curse!
I have no skill at poker.
Nor do I possess a poker-face.
My Cynthia asked over those “I already know the answer” eyes:
“You Okay?”
“Yep. I’m okay,” I lied.
“I’m watching you,” she said.
“I know you are Honey, and thank you for that,”
I replied.
As she walked away, I said to her moving away from me back,
“I love you.”
She said over her shoulder,
“I love you more. Catch ya later Alligator!”
(Her favorite catch-all, end-all phrase. I never ask why. Why she likes it. She just likes it. And that is reason enough for me. Because I am in love with her. Love is just that way Y’all. It works in those mysterious ways. Kinda like the Invisible Spaghetti-Man-in-the-sky. Man. Oh man!)
As soon as I shut the door I heard my Motorola Phone speaking to me:
“Hello Moto!”
(Note to self: ‘Change name to ‘Moto.’)
“Fuck you Moto!” I said.
Then I did something very very uncharacteristic:
I answered the damn phone.
“Hello?”
“Is this Rance Marcom?’ (Heavy Indian accent)
“No.”
“I need to speak Rance. Is he there?”
“Are you from India Mister Moto?”
“I from Capitol One.”
“No. I think you’re from India.”
“Mister Rance Marcom?”
“English ain’t yer first language is it? I just told you, ‘Mistah Rance’ ain’t here.”
“I need speak to Mister Rance Marcom.”
“Sorry to say, he is in Kabul at this moment getting his ass shot at.”
Mister Moto / Capitol One hung up on me.
Cannot imagine why.
***
In closing
In trying to put a fine point on the point that is This Pointless Post:
I love booze.
I love what it does to me.
I love what it doesn’t me.
I love it when it does not kill me.
(Apocryphal: ‘Write Drunk. Edit Sober)
I love it.
(Did I say this already?)
Don’t cry for me Miss Dementia
I’ll be fine.
***
The (Still) Living
END
*static on radio*
“Houston. We have a problem…”
TBC…
j’espere
(Dat’s France-ish for ‘j’espere’. Google it! Yu lazy-fair mo-fo’s)
***
In closing
In trying to put a fine point on the point that is This Pointless Post:
I love booze.
I love what it does me.
I love what it doesn’t me.
I love it when it does not kill me.
(Apocryphal: ‘Write Drunk. Edit Sober)
I love it.
(Did I say this already?)
Don’t cry for me Miss Dementia
“Objection Your Honor! The Witless Witness is Inebriated!”
“Sustained. Mister Moto, continue, but sobriety is the soul of wit. Please take some effort to remember that.”
“Yer honor…”
“Boom! Thirty Years! No Beers!”
It was at this point, Yoda spoke to me:
“Fucked you are.”
“Thanks for that Yoda.”
johncoyote,
Jim Beam. That’s my Achilles Heel.
Love it!
I am back to whiskey again. Straight whiskey and a glass of water. Make me write better, feel better too. Good evening from cold and rainy Michigan. I hope you are doing well and having some fun.
Marlapaige,
I thank you for your visit and for signing my guest book.
Those guys from India call work five hundred times every day. Not to speak to anyone just to ignore This is a business line, take us off your list”