Happy Fucking B’Day to me. Blow out the candle and hand me my scotch. I was born two
months weeks, three or four, before Sputnik, ’57.
This makes me special. Real fucking special. I should have slapped my mama and moved to Moscow. Below taken from an email. I do hope I deacted, redacted, crossed out… Her name. If not. I gots beeeg trouble. Here goes:
“Oh fucking K. Four weeks and change B4 Spuds (Spittering Nic) MacKenzie….Math ain’t my thing. Never bin my thang. Shit! I was two weeks old. Gimme a fucking break.
On Fri, Sep 10, 2021 at 11:15 AM Lance Marcom <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
Do NOT neglect the Linda at the end.On Fri, Sep 10, 2021 at 11:13 AM Lance Marcom <email@example.com> wrote:
“They say it’s Lance Marcom’s B’day. Les go burn down his house.”
“He ain’t got no house.”
“OK, let’s just burn him.”
“He is scary.”
“Doan wanna get that close.”
“Good pint. We can burn something else.”
Tomorrow I embrace my Sixty-Third Year.
I find me asking me of late:
“So… Lance, what have you done?”
And ‘somewhat’ related: And…Talia Shire Will never, ever look so good.
(That Beret! That Beret! Cabaret!)
And of course, not without saying…
And Michael York.
And… whatever happened to Jimmy Buffett’s hair??? (I did read his book, “a pirate looks at
forty” fifty, sixty??. did not glean anything from it ‘cept that he loves ‘boat-planes’– shit! I could have ‘wrote’ a better book. Jes sayin’…)
My tweet (if I ever tweet) to Jimmy:
Dude, stick to music. That is what you do best. Leave the prose to those who have some prose… to share. And no! I ain’t talking ’bout me, but in general speakin’…)
(See way below for the JB bits)
(and, yes: Navy SEALs)
Picks up that conversation:
“Not too much,” I must confess.
“But surely you have touched some lives?”
“Yeah, but mostly in a bad way. I did my best in war zones. I was ‘The antithesis’ of the ‘Bad American.’ Other than that, nope.”
“Perhaps you are being too hard on yourself?”
“You really don’t know me, do you?”
“Well… no. Not exactly. This is just a job to me. Go on.”
“I’d rather not, but hey! Thanks for stopping by.”
“I suppose my ‘work’ here is done. Then?”
“Yeah. You may be excused.”
“Thanks, because I am late for my appointment with J-Law.”
“But you said one thing; got my attention: You said ‘torched’.
“Naw! I said ‘scorched’ There is some difference.”
And I leave Y’all with this. It fits:
Or, as Mammy (Hattie McDaniel) said, via ‘Gone With The Wind’:
“It just ain’t fittin'”
(She ‘won’ an Oscar for that. Ya surely know) And in her acceptance speech, she said, and I quote: “I sincerely hope I shall always be a credit to my race.” Can you believe she actually felt compelled to say those words? Well, it was 1940… I suppose.
Lance loves you Mammy (Hattie)
And look up the word ‘class’ in any dictionary. There you will find a photo of Katherine Hepburn.
Oops! I meant Bette Davis (shit! I cannot tell from the vid which one, Kate or Bette–HBO!–help a brother out here. Which one?) Personally, I am gonna go with
Kate. After further review, I am going with Bette.
“Just hold on and suck in.”
Yeah! I always pick the ‘raw’ video. Jus’ me, I suppose.
It was, in fact, my birthday.
Thanks for riding along.
For, there will be Nothing… Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
Cheers. Beers. Jears. Tears.
And if you find a plethora of parenthesis here…They are for my friend, SS and solely for her own edification.
If you care to dare, Here is her link:
But Be Brave
Yet…she scares me…
And last and certainly not least….
“We’re gonna let you go.”
I guess “all of the above” rightly sums up my life.
Happy Birthday to me.
Bonus in Honor of 2021 Version of Me:
Streeeeeet Cred: skychurchify