I have been to the Suez Canal at least 300 times.
I’ve been witness to some incredibly funny shit in my day, but never nothin’ even remotely approaching this
Monumental Shipping Screw-UP!
Because I am a Smart-assed Moron:
Clik the GD Link Below!
Jet, the oldest at the table–about thirty—wore a goatee, long brown hair on top of a head that looked a little too big for the rest of his frame.
He had a laconic manner, but was not what one could ever call ‘brusque’.
He just didn’t say much. He seemed to save his words like cash money is what I’m saying.
Presently, he asked, “Mog, when’s your next run to TA?” (‘TA’ = Tel Aviv).
Mog (who spent words with reckless abandon) replied, “I got the fuckin’ R&R run tomorrow.
Shit! Hey Lance, what run you got? Wanna trade?”
Mog hated the R&R runs mainly because R&R runs meant taking passengers. He loved driving the trucks into ‘Town’. Two reasons: He loved trucks and he loved to drive trucks very, very fast. Mog was a great driver, but riding with him scared the shit out of me.
“Sure Mog; I’ll trade with ya.”
“Which run you got?” he asked, now slightly wary at my all too quick agreement.
“Aw Shit No! Forget it.”
SFM Basecamp was about thirty klicks from the Suez Canal.
Every day an R&R vehicle left SFM to rendezvous with one coming from Cairo. Passengers would take a small boat across the canal and continue on to Cairo or back to SFM.
Incoming and out-going mail was also exchanged. Having ‘The Canal Run’ meant getting off-base only for an hour or two.
Going to Tel Aviv meant driving only four hours, checking into the Sheraton and having the rest of the day and night to paint the town red with Per Diem and whatever else one wanted to contribute or muster out of his own purse.
Mog had an Israeli girlfriend in Tel Aviv, actually she was his fiancée, and he took all the Tel Aviv runs he could get, so he could go see ‘The Little Mama’.
In fact all the drivers had Israeli girlfriends except Big Mo. His ‘Honey-Co’ was a Big-Boned, Tall Drink O’ Water, Texan Gal, working for SFM, just like us.
Her name was ‘Big Mammu’ and if those two didn’t eventually get united in hellish matrimony, then I say ‘Fuck it.’
There is no hope for the rest of the world. Perfect for each other they were, is all I’m saying.
FUCK ME TO TEARS!!
Street Cred Vid: UnionSquareMusic
Yeah. I’m a fukking Moron!
(For any who do not get my sense o’ humor… You boarded the wrong boat)
Sink or swim!
Sassy and Sexy
does not even begin to come close to properly describing these ladies.
Especially Susanna Hoffs!
(See below ‘Waltz Like an Egyptian’ vid)
People just don’t seem to have fun anymore—too uptight
Or perhaps old age has made me jaded.
When the ‘Gyptian’ vid came out I was floating around on the USS Callaghan, somewhere in the North IO…Indian Ocean…
HQ in San Dog had sent us a copy of the vid.
Guess what we did.
We had the ship’s photographer film the crew…
Walking like Egyptians.
I wish I had a copy, but you can use your imagination.
Footnote to this story:
In ’79 Egypt hired a Jap construction company to dredge the canal and to increase it’s girth by about thirty-three percent.
This made life difficult for me.
From then on I had to take my passengers to Ismailia close to the Med coast to be able to cross over into Egypt proper.
Added about an hour to my travel time.