Zen & The Art of HVAC Maintenance

“Fire all of your guns at once Son.

Explode into Space.”


“Knock! Knock! Knock!” upon my door this morning.

“Who’s there?”



“What did I fuck up?” Were the first thoughts in my head.

I opened the door.

Full-Sleeve’d Tatoo’d young HVAC Guy standing there.

“I’m here to clean your A/C.”

“Well, come on in. Sorry for the disarray; I am still moving in.” (After almost three months, I am still ‘moving in.’)

Together we cleared a pathway to my HVAC unit and had some chat.

Mostly ‘bout politics and the unsteady state of our union.

He was (seemed) engaged by my repartee.  But I suppose he gets paid to not only service HVAC, but also to put up with the broken folk who live here in Lion’s Den, Commerce America.

He took my HVAC away and said he’d be back in ‘bout thirty minutes.

I said, “I’ll wait; got no pressing engagements this morning.”

Presently, he returned with my brand-new, cleaned up, sanitized for my protection, HVAC Unit.

Reinstalled same.

He gathered his tools and his little ‘Go-Cart’ HVAC dolly and made his way to my Front Door.

I thanked him.

As I was holding the door open for him, Cynthia, the House-Keeper was walking down the hall.

“What’s up Baby?” she exclaimed.

“Same ol’ same ol’ “ I said back. “And, Oh! Thank you so much for what you did for me while I was in Hospital.” (She had cleaned my hooch and taken out the trash while I was ‘On Sabbatical’ in Denton)

“No problem Baby. You need me, call me anytime.”

Then as I was about to close my front door, I noticed one of those “Do Not Disturb” door tags had been placed upon my door knob…

I constructed my own version and taped it to my door… (See above image)

Seems word is out.

(This is a rather small community, as communities go and word travels fast)

Word is out:

“Do NOT Fuck with This Man.”

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