This was my last dog:
We ‘lived’ together in Missouri with some woman.
Her name escapes me.
I think we were married.
But I forget her name.
I am lonely and the maids all tell me to fuck the fuck off when I try to invite them in for coffee. Just fucking coffee. That’s all. They got no time. Cannot be bothered.
I need some creature to love me
(If I go to the animal shelter and all the doggies tell me to fuck off–I may have some personal problems that need sorting out, but we ain’t there yet. Thank God)
Two legs or four. No more. I am done with spiders and snakes. I want something cuddly to love me. No more spiders or ants. Ever try to cuddle up to an ant or a spider? Trust me: it never works out as you had planned...
I cannot afford to be particular at this point, but I think a dog would do the trick.
Cats good too, but they are not very affectionate.
However, they are very low maintenance.
Kinda like a self-cleaning oven.
But I want a fuckin’ ‘Toto Too’
Toto! I love you!
(Dorothy I Love you too—But this ain’t about you)
More to come.
Never find one to replace the ones below….
But a reasonable facsimile…. I’ll settle for second or third best.
That would be groovy.
I disagree Neil!
I want a FUCKIN’ DOG!!
Not a Maid
(A maid’s half-life in my house would be about 20 minutes)
“I fell in love with the actress; she was playing a part I could understand.”
No Shit Neil?!
Got Lots of T-Shirts
I love you Bro, but some of your lyrics and songs just piss me the fuck off. I suppose some things just don’t ‘age’ well. Not your fault. You used to be cool. Now, yer not. Such is life.
I can certainly relate.
I used to be cool too.
Now, I ain’t.
Wanna join my club?
Your loss, not mine.
P.S. I am done with turtles too!
Bonus Bonus Onus, Own Us Bonus!
See? See Link Below. Read it. Weep.
I love all kinds of critters.
But I WANT A FUCKKNG DOG
(And I will resist the urge to speak of any of my ex-wives—save that for later)