P.S. This Post Has Become A Long-Ass-Long-Winded–Verbosity-Laden–Monstrosity– –If You Manage To Slog Through It, Send Me A Bill. I Promise To Reimburse Your Purse For Lost Time.
“The Line Forms To The Right”
Credit: Bobby Darin
Just Take A Number & Have A Seat.
I’ll Get To You. By And Bye
Aussie Wu-Flu Photo Below:
Really Upsets Me, Because Last Time I Visited There,
The Mates & the Shelia’s Had NO Fear!
Not A Care
In This World
(Unless The Foster’s Ran Dry)
Mostly Perpetually Happy & Up-Beat
In The Aussie Vernacular:
“No Worries Mate.”
Pretty Sure This “Aussie-Attitude”
Still Rings True–
At Least I Hopes It Do
Their Fukk’Up Government.
But We Americans Cannot ‘Honestly’ Throw Stones
Aussie Gals Are FEARLESS
This Has Been My Experience
(Much Like Texan Gals)
Just For Ref:
You Know You Are Dating an Australian Woman When…
Cred: Dating Beyond Borders
I No Longer Wish to Return To Australia
I’m Stayin’ In Texas Where
The Government Ain’t Insane!
Gone Bat-Shit Crazy!
I Used To Love Australia
(Still Do Actually)
“That’s not a knife: this is a Knife.”
Cred For Vid Share: Tomas Tree
I love Australia
As I Want To remember Her
25 Great Crocodile Dundee Quotes:
Cred For Vid Compilation: PonAdidas
But Until They Get Over Their
Stupid WuFlu Panic,
I Ain’t Gonna Go Back
Australia Geography/Australia Country Song:
Cred: Kids Learning Tube
Land Down Yonder
Vid/Music Cred: Men at Work
Olivia Neutron Bomb
Easy-Greasy. Got A Long Way to Slide:
If My Wander-Lust Evah Return’eth,
I’m Goin’ To Ireland!
Irish Rovers-Drunken Sailor:
Perhaps I’ll Run Into Erin Burnett While There.
As She(s) Is Passing Through Oh Her Way Back To Scotland
I Could NEVER Get THAT Lucky!
Cred For Vid: Sara Cardoso
But Stranger Things Have Been Known To Happen… In My Life
Back in ’89 halfway into my last WestPAC (Western Pacific Deployment) bobbing about in the Pacific, onboard the USS Frederick LST 1184, we had already spent much time in Subic Bay, Hong Kong, Guam, Korea, Fuk-Ya-Mama Japan, and possible some other ‘Ornamental’ ports I do not recall.
USS Fred: LST 1184:
Well, we were steaming along in the South Pacific one day when word came down the pike that we had new orders to sail to Sydney.
“But why?” I asked the first ‘Old-Salty-Squiddy’ I could find.
“Some idiots from a tin can (destroyer) dropped a pallet of high explosives on top of the Great Barrier Reef. We have to go retrieve it before shit jumps off. That reef is some kind of fuckin’ national park or something.”
“Who the fuck knows? Who the fuck cares? We get to go to Australia! Australia! In Australia, they still LOVE us. There is this thing they do. It’s called ‘Rent-A-Sailor’ and you’ll see.”
“Hell you talking about? ‘Rent-A-Sailor’?”
“When we dock, there will be tons of women on the pier to greet us. They will all have paid real money to ‘host’ us while we are there. They love us. Maybe ‘cause we saved them from the Japs back in doubya doubya two.”
Hostesses for the Most of Us
“I see your point. Sounds great!”
“Just wait. You’ll see,” he said again breathlessly. I must admit, his excitement was contagious.
Now, do not get me wong (wrong). I love Southern Pacific Eastern ‘Ornamental’ Women and this is well-documented, but I, we, all of us, were in the mood for a female change of scenery. We wanted to see some ‘Round-Eyes.’ And before anyone accuses me of being ‘racist’ you may want to do some research on my blog—this one—and then get back to me.
All that shit spake…
We turned the Freddy Southbound-and-Down toward Sydney. Estimated steaming time to Australia: three days.
We were all very excited.
I Went looking for the ship’s barber to get me gussied up…
To be continued… Here. Y’all hear??