Sinai Field Mission. Or The Story of How Lance Lost His Mind and Later Found it Ferreted Away in His Pocket


This Post is a Continuation of a Promise I made to Me (And to Y’all, Gentle Readers) to write about Sinai Field Mission. For brevity’s sake (The Soul of Wit), I am breaking it down into snippets. To catch the back story, actually the forward story, please go here:


“No Bare Feet Beyond This Point” (This is a ‘Re-Constructed Old Post.’ No Alcoholic Beverages Were Harmed, Nor Consumed While Operating The Requisite Heavy Machinery For The Successful Completion of This Project)


Me and Boeing’s 747 partners: Wheels Down at Ben Gurion Airport outskirts of Tel Aviv Israel late one afternoon, October 1977, just a couple of days before Halloween, found the Talmud. I mean tarmac. 

My final destination, however was not Judea; it  was The Sinai Desert, to live for eighteen months-plus on a mountain-top base camp, Dubbed ‘Caddo Mountain’, (In deference to the Texans who built it and ran it and to whom I would soon become a compadre) some shit-hole between the Gidi and Mitla Passes: Historically, the only two routes armies could pass from east to west or west to east across burning Sinai to thwack upon each other’s opponents’ heads.

I was 40 days leeward of twenty years and a little more than apprehensive. (These Two States, Egypt & Israel, were still technically, At War)


I knew some of the history, but I couldn’t be bothered that day about ‘Ancient’ History (Yom Kippur War, Six-Day War, ‘Suez War’ of ‘56, Holocaust. Nope: I was here for ‘New History’, ‘My History’, ‘My Adventure’: A Dangerous Desolate Gig (my first). I had never been out of CONUS (Continental United States) before.

And I was stoked. A fresh-faced, bullet-proof Texan Kid newly escaped from Louisiana and cock-strong! Fuck did I care for Mid-East Politics? I am here! Step right up! Texas has arrived! “Step aside, Son!”

Gathering my luggage (my father’s old sea-bag left over from his USMC Korean War days) and a few other bags, laden with tennis shoes, workout gear, books and magazines… way too much superfluous shit, I scampered to find my liaison, struggling with all my kit.

Finding him, a tall, skinny, thin-haired, gaunt-faced, ‘Middle-East-Hardened’ Texan Veteran (four months here previous to me, I discovered later), man who spoke with an air of, ‘Oh, you’re the ‘New Kid’… Follow me’ he said laconically.

He looked an old thirty-five to me. (Later I found out he was twenty-nine, but we were all so young there. Back then.)

Ignoring his attitude, I tried very hard to ‘get into the groove.’ It was hellishly hot, even for an October—a Texas October. I had jet lag and fatigue like a pup that had been crated too long. Even though I was ‘stoked’, all I really wanted was a gallon of really cold orange juice, an air-conditioned hotel room, and a bed. The ‘plane ride’ from Dallas to Tel Aviv had robbed me of some (I thought) important part of my young life and my health. I was severely dehydrated, completely spent, and pretty much left wondering if I had made some horrible mistake.

But, I sucked it up.

After a hot and hotter and even hotter bizarre drive (The Road signs looked so foreign to me, some form of hieroglyphic—never having seen Hebrew before—had not at that point read the Old Testament) from Ben Gurion Airport, through the busy streets of Tel Aviv (me resisting the urge to ask, “Hey! are we there yet?”) we arrived at the Mediterranean Sea and the Sheraton Hotel.

My ‘liaison’ deposited me at the front desk of the ‘New’ Sheraton Hotel on HaYarkon Street Tel Aviv, telling me in parting,

“The R&R Vehicle leaves at 0800hrs; meet here in the lobby. Don’t be late. Goodbye.”

“Thanks Asshole.”

I checked in, and got me that room, such as it was. It was more a closet than a room, but it was cool and clean, and there was that bed tucked away in the corner…

I hit it, and slept like the dead.

To be continued…


Added History Bonus:

Yom Kippur War 1973 – Sinai Front DOCUMENTARIES:

Credit: Kings and Generals

Israel – Yom Kippur War – 1973:

Credit: ThamesTv

Just More Of My CNN Bashing (Yes. I Know; It’s About To Get Old) & Some Bonus Biden Bits Thrown In–“CNN: The Most Trusted Name In News”–Hahaha!–Whatever You’re Smoking, I Want Some

Epic CNN Blooper Video:

Cred: CNN


Biden’s Actual Inauguration:

What An Idiot Dementia-Stricken Moron!

(Video Credit: FreedomToons)

Joe & Jill: The Wheel Is Spinning,

But The Hamsters Died Decades Ago


Since My Muse Has Once Again Fu*ked Off To Waco Due To “Previous Committed Obligations,” I am Forced To Shit-Post:

Just To Keep The Embers Burning, Or at Least Somewhat Viable For Future Reference, or Need

Ed Note:

Regarding My Muse

I really should consider finding a MUSE who is FOCUSED solely on ME.

But I cannot ‘Fire’ This One.

Her evil side is always just beneath the surface.

Bubbling up.

“Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and Cauldron Bubble.–

By the pricking of my thumbs, 

Something wicked this way comes. 

Open, locks, Whoever knocks!”


Will boil over at the slightest provocation.

I have seen/experienced her wrath.

(And it ain’t Nothin’ Nice)

She frightens me.


FaceDork Post of Mine Pasted In Below:


“Hey Clown News Network!


You did not Get The Memo:

“We Have A New President! Why Are You Still Fixated On Trump?

You Are Giving Him More ‘Airtime’ Than Piss-Pants Biden. I Think I can Surmise: Your Ratings Going Deep Into The Shitter Without Orange-Man-Bad/RAD.

Don’t Open Your Mouth While Down There, Or You Will Have A Bad Day.

Just hold Your Breath.

Until You Die.

We Will NOT Miss You.

Except For Erin Burnett:

I will MISS HER.

Marvelous Much.”

(Ref a Previous Fawning Post of Mine, Regarding her. Pasted in Below)

Bobble-Bubble-Headed Mother Fu*ker: Don Lee-Mon–Racist Piece-of-Shit, Hypocrite–Stupid is as Stupid does Moron. How is this Asshole Still walking about with a Frickin’ job?

Who is Paying him?

Mark ‘Fukle-Berg?

No! I Mis-Spoke!

THAT Asshole Owns FaceBook


(Ed. Note: There Is A ‘Brain-Ded’

Brian Seltzer-Water Bonus Gem At The End.


Bobbsey Twins– Kissing Cousins:


Puke IN My Mouth. Please And Thank You. Every Time I see this moron, I get this sudden urge to throw up in my mouth. Is this not the dumbest, ‘stupied-in cest’ Mother-Fu*ker in the history of stupid mother-fu#kers on Television?” Fairy” Certain that answer would be ‘Yes.’ A Resounding ‘Yes’.

There are only three people still watching this idiot. I am one of them.

Why? Because I love the comedy of the inane insane.

And it is free/cheap.

It only costs me a few brain cells.

Which I can regenerate.



Don Lemon: Before He Puts On His Makeup:

Above & Some Below Vid Creds: John Ward

Bonus Added Value:

Ted Koppel Has The Receipts.

Blames Mainstream Media’s Desire For Ratings For The Rise Of Donald Trump

Street Cred For Shared Vid: Roland S. Martin

Some Of this IS Re-run. Hell! Who Am I kidding? ALL Of It Is Re-Run. *BREAKING BAD NEWS!*

CNN is the Best Comedy Show On Television, Bar None–

And it is even better watching while drunk or stoned, or le both.


President Trump SLAMS Jim Acosta and ‘fake news’ CNN:

Clown News Network

Laughing at CNN is one of my favorite joyful mindless diversions:

Exclusively Here on TT & Hiero-Glyph!

That means you won’t hear it anywhere else! (Because we made it up)

The Results are finally in from yesterday’s, recent,  last week’s election!

Okay was not last week; just seems that way.

Here are the tallies:

Jim Morrison: 20, 000

He is an Accident Going Somewhere to Happen: 20, 001

Walk of Shame: 20,010

The Kind and Good and the Ugly Moral Folks: 20,005

Puddles in My Beer: 0

Now, after some contentiousness, and some hanging chaffs, and some fourteen pissed off, and some sixteen or so pissed on, and some countless bored, and some dead armadillos, and some more hanging chaff, it was decided that the vote went unanimously to:


(And the crowd went nuts)

“But, but, but, how is that unanimous?” One pollster inquired.

“Because Son,” The State said, “Because theirs was the only un-contested, not so much molested, unambiguous result.”


Now before we exposé the PUDDLES IN MY BEER platform (gangplank), we must survive the Inauguration Ball.

And here to help us along with that, May I present to Y’all, our most ardent (and redundant) supporters!

Willie And The William’s Boys!

Take it away Boys!

Thanks to Willie an’ Them For that Rather Upbeat Rendition of …what was it again? *taps Willie on the shoulder* “Uh Willie, ya fucked the lyric: it is “Puddles In My Beer”; not ‘bubbles’, get it right fer fuck sake… Goin’ to Austin…I mean DC. Aw shit. Never mind! Just get the damn song right, OK?”

And Thank You Both Hanks for that rather unifying ditty in honor of the forgotten, vanquished.

But now, to prove we are not all that…uh… sanctimonious.

We give some equal / air time to the losers, er, Honorable Opposition:

Take it away Jimmy!

But don’t take it too far or  too long. We are watching you. Loser!

“Uh… Thank you…uh what was your name again? Oh yeah, Jimmy.

Well, Hey! Let’s give a big round of applause for…uh Jimmy and his comedy!”

“Thank you Johnny!”

Tomorrow (Or Next Beer) we will tell you the plan forward.

Hang tight in the meantime.

We love our Country!

(don’t we?)

Didn’t we?

orig flag

Bonus Round

Lenny On Fake News:

I’m Still Trying To Get Through This Lame-Ass Excuse For A Movie: “The Day After Tomorrow”

I Queued it up Over Twelve HOURS Ago!

Started trying to Watch It

And Still Only Half-Way Through This Monstrosity:

“The Day After Tomorrow”

Why Am I Wasting My Time

On This Insult To Human Intelligence?

I Suppose I Love Stupid Movies

I Need A Girlfriend To Distract Me

This Is A Worthless–Brain-Dead Refrain of A Throw-Away Long Lost Post–Sorry. And Yes! I Have Been To More European Countries Than I Have United States States. So What?!

I’m Kinda Bored & Need Something Else To Do With My Mind–Other Than Taking It Out And Playing Soccer With It.

And I don’t Even Like Soccer—Sorry Euro-Peons:–“Football?” Fuk The Fuk Off!

“Mandy’s of the World: Steer Clear of Lance Marcom!

(Trust Me On This One Ladies)”

Typical, Representative of The ‘Mandy’ Species

(In My Humble Experience Anyway)

It has been my life’s experience that ALL women named ‘Mandy’ are good and decent people:

Sweet and kind–if only just a little too innocent and blind. (to life’s Harsh Realities….)

But without that, that innocence, they would be named ‘Bertha’ or ‘Helga’ or ‘Broomhilda’

And they would not be ‘Mandys.’


(I have known a lot of Mandy’s. So Y’all can take this one to the bank)

I receive daily via email, updates from my bank.

Got one late yesterday informing me my balance was $666 and change.

My first thought was:

Old Uncle Joe

(He’s a-movin’ kinda slow Biden)

Had sent me an advance on my WuFlu assistance.


Petticoat Mal-Function Junction

It’s Just Not Fair That I Cannot Have At Least One Of These Lil’ Fillies:

I had not made a deposit.

Someone must have.

But Soft!


This is a Joke, Right?

Everyone who knows me, knows I am an atheist:



Mark of The Beast!

It was a funny joke on me, and I do have a sense o’ humor.

But just to be certain, I called my Institution.

(Not the one I had escaped from: The Financial One)


Got Mandy, who informed me my balance was closer to sixty-sixty cents than it was to $600. Glad I called, because I was about to go on a spending spree, not unlike our government.

Yes! I just had a recent encounter with a new-to-me ‘Mandy.’

It was a professional—not the oldest profession…

(Get your mind out of the gutter, but a professional—A bona-fide Professional Encounter.

And Strangely enough, she works at my bank and I needed her assistance for that–nothing more.

She did her best to help me fix ‘My Banking Problem’ but she could not, despite all her best efforts.

During several telephone conversations.

Seems having no money is something even the Best ‘Mandy’ cannot fix. No matter how sincerely she tried.


I cannot help it if ‘Looking Glass’ screwed up the Title/Lyrics.

But they only fukked up one letter.

(Albeit, The Most Important One)

I emailed them, requesting they re-do the song–

Fix it.

Their response is not fit to print.

There are some things even I will not repeat.

But I can give a subtle hint:

It involved suggestions of where I could stick certain industrial objects into my anatomy.

They even offered to help.

(I Declined Their Generous Offer)