In a former life I was Crazy Cat Lady–Just Like my Mom
“And You’re Crazy And I’ll Be Sober Tomorrow And You’ll be crazy for the rest of your life”
Vid Cred: CatsCovers
And I will tell you why.
When I first met my soon to be third wife, (Shakespeare / Marlow Professor), She announced to the class, First Day of Class:
“My Name is ‘Lisa,’ but you may address me as ‘Professor’, or ‘Doctor Lisa.’ “
“I have three ex-husbands and five cats.”
(I was ‘instant – enamored’)
Three weeks later we were living together.
Of course I had to drop out of her class… well just because… I was ‘honorable,’ back in those days.
Seems to me I had two choices. I could sleep with her, or remain her student.
I chose the former.
First time she invited me into her apartment the kitties all went crazy, running about, knocking over shit.
Vases, bowls in the kitchen, magazines, flower pots, etcetera.
She said, “They do this every time I return home. They’ll calm down in a few. Wanna drink?”
“Of course” I said.
Then Kitty Roll Call/Introductions:
Oldest to Youngest:
John Paul (AKA ‘Kitty) Old and pure white and touch me not.
Sabrina, Fat and gray, dumb as a box of rocks, huge belly, dragged the floor.
(Months later when we all moved into a real house with real wooden floors, I would spray her belly with Pledge and watch her walk about, dusting the floors…)
Lisa was not amused.
(But I was)
Midge (AKA: “Moochie”) Tiny. Pure solid black. Tiny. Small of frame. I could almost put her in my shirt pocket.
Henry. Large, very large Orange Buff Tabby. Sweetest disposition of ANY Cat I had ever known. He was the ‘Peace-Maker’
Henry had just one character flaw:
Every time I was on the telephone, he would jump onto my lap and ‘Meow’ his ass off.
He just would not allow me to have him second in my attention.
Lucia! (AKA “Chia” Cat From Hell.) Black and white. Had a body like Mary-Lou Retton,
kinda chunky and muscular and just as agile. First time I introduced myself, she bit me.
Then She clawed me. Left me bleeding.
(Not Mary Lou: Lucia)
Bonus Added Values:
Personified Cat Woman
(In My Vain Fantasy)