Hey-Zeus! Spike It In The END Zone Bro. Then Come On Back Down To Earth Son. Check Us Out. See How We’re Doin’ Now
Get off of your Cloud
Dazed and Confused. Say me–Shit! Wrong song ref
“Lance, rent a brain–Yours is Null and Void”
My Life is A Cloudy Day. Okay?
Cred for vid: ABKCOVEVO
Reba?! Girl! Okie Gal! Really?
I Knew You When… Back then
Back when you were interesting
Now you’re just boring
“Come Back To God”
News Flash For Ya Reba McEntire: I was never ‘with’ YOUR God. Not in that ‘Biblical Sense’ nor any other kind of sense. Religion Is All Non-Sense
Boz My Man!
Jesus, it’s only been 2000+ years, For Christ’s Sake! (Sorry)
WTF else you got to do?
Count YOUR ‘Blessings? Play checkers with Daddy? Rest on your laurels? One and Done. That all you got?
What a gyp
Or just lazy?
Thought so. Well Man And Womankind need you to get up off yer laissez faire ass recliner-cloud and fulfill all them fake promises & Dry Dreams you promised. Been to Earth lately Jesus? Things are pretty fucked up is all I’m sayin’.
And P.S. I still love You Jesus. As a Good Man. Not as a Deity
Oh, and by the way Jesus, when I die, you gonna bring me back for a ‘do-over’?
No? Then you are of no use to me. Don’t let the manger door hit yer ass on your way out (That one you rode in on halfway to Jerusalem) Oh, and I have always wondered, was that ass a purchase or a rental?
Shalom & Allahu Akbar
Halfway to Jerusalem
(Yes. Your ‘Humble’ Author has been to Jerusalem–Many Times)
My Blog is no longer an aversion
Nor a version
of a virgin
Therefore, since I am leaving soon
(Insha’Allah.. Joke: probably get killed for that one–Y’all know who I am here and on which side I fall upon–Atheist) I am not for lack of a term: ‘an Evangelical Atheist’.
I do not care what you believe or don’t believe. My only further statement is atheists can be moral and good people, just like theists. We can also be immoral and bad people, just like theists. And we can be some kind of combination of the two; just like theists.
Hopefully, that above statement loses me not any of my followers (save one: my mother), But if so this is Karma (and no! I am not Buddhist nor Hindi either), then I will adopt the philosophy of a great ‘blogger-man’ I admire, respect, follow, and really despise:
http://aopinionatedman.com/ (ed note: May, 31st: I am no longer a fan of the Lemmings. i.e., I do not follow OM no mas, mainly because even I, cannot be that charitable) And that is all I am gonna say ’bout that. If you want some more piercing eloquence of the subject, I happily direct you to ‘The shitstorm that is my life: (she is brilliance in a bottle:
We differ, but we are kindred in our discourse of difference. Opinionated Man says this, and I quote:
“My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.”
Now. This is not in my manifesto, but I do find me subscribing to it more and more, day by day. Not sure why, but I do think OM has a valid point here: He writes for HIM.
This, I understand. And this is my new path. (Now all I need do is find some more followers… to hit the trail with me 😉 )
Therefore in the spirit of cleaning up hard disk drive space, I have nominated this post (the one on the next page–The ‘Hitch-Slap’ will remain as long as I have electricity and an internet connection) for permanent removal. (though I Love it daily..er…dearly..especially the video clip”
Drum Roll Please!
I heretofore nominate this post…
To be… In the Hunger Games!
What say you?!
Read it and kiss it’s ass goodbye!
Credit: Moki John
“I’m just a simple sailor Son…
Credit: Lance (But you knew that)
By way of an update: Goodness Gracious!
Not sure what got into my head last night while penning this post, but please let me assure you and endeavor to clarify: It was all in good fun. Some of the comments I received made me feel as if my sentiments were not properly taken in the spirit they were (so carefully?) thought out and given: My fault of course due to my lack of communication skills.
My point here is simply this: I do not judge folks and in fact, I do love all of humanity. I have always been pro-Every-Thing–just as long as your ‘ever’ thang’ don’t impose on my ever’ thang’. Or instill in me a desire to smack you with a dead fish.
I am pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, pro-black, pro-white, pro-red, pro-yellow, pro-brown, pro-albino, pro-short, pro-tall, pro-rich, (good for y’all), pro-North, pro-South, pro-poor, pro-homeless, pro-McMansion-ite, pro-freedom, pro-hippy, pro-military, pro-redneck, pro-freedom, pro-Texan, pro-Human.
Pretty much, as a species, I like us. (The occasional mass wars and genocide notewithstanding)
‘Live and let live’ That has always been me.
See, there I go again. Tripping over my…. Well, I do hope y’all understand. (Now I feel somewhat better. Hope it lasts.)
I honestly don’t feel so very much good. Pretty certain I will be dyin soon
I love Reba
Thank you John for ‘Gettin’ it
I am like Forest Gump. When the Godly people ask me. Have I found Jesus? I tell them. I didn’t know I was looking for him. I enjoyed the songs and thoughts my friend.
Reblogged this on Texan Tales & Hieroglyphics and commented:
I am gonna step out on a limb here. I am reblogging this post not because I think the post was all that, but because if y’all will read through the COMMENTS, you will laugh your asses off. I love ShitShow and her blog is simply beyond any words of praise I can muster…
Anyway… read through the comments if you want to see three marshmellows colliding in mid air.
“I came here to bury Caesar not to praise him.”
I will leave you and shitstrm with your hate for no reason. Take care.
I did not ‘edit’ to bash you. No words were changed. I merely drew a line through some of my statements that no longer reflect my current opinions. Next time, before I change my mind (through looking at the evidence or looking at pig entrails), I will ask your permission first.
You down with that?
Now please go away from my blog.
You really do bore me.
Narcissist? You wrote a post about me… doesn’t that make you the narcissist Lance? Gee… you may want to look that word up buddy. You and shitshow seem to have a funny definition of the word. 🙂
No worries! I am glad you appreciate my presence so much Lance! You take care now.
Yeah Jason. I lie awake most nights thinking of how to bash you. What I live for. Thank you for allowing me to live on the same planet with you.
I appreciate your benevolent nature.
You are my hero.
Darn and here I was hoping for some helpful advice from you.
Ah no kids for me ever. So you’re super out of luck.
You are an annoying little narcissist. Please go find someplace else to play.
Maybe when you actually have a job and kids I’ll actually listen to you on those topics. Right now your opinion means below “little.” But thanks for the input? lol… funny.
Well I didn’t read anything you wrote because I wouldn’t… But you’re a father and are either not doing that role right now or aren’t doing your work. Both seem more important, but that’s just me. Like I have a calc 2 test tomorrow so I’m gonna wave a white flag to your comments.
lol, good luck! 🙂
Lol yes, it would be weird if we were related because someone would have to explain the race thing. My readers like me, they just don’t like you… Seems like my book sales will be just fine… But thanks!
I am not 35… you are really bad at math and reading apparently. And actually I do work on Sunday. You are amazing at this…
You will feel differently if you ever write a book and wish to sell it. It will be even more amusing when you suddenly have to drop your “I don’t give a shit” act and actually care about the reader. You are pretty amusing sitting here bashing someone that cares about their website when you have nothing you are promoting. With that kind of attitude you probably never will. I wish you the best, considering we share a name. I am just glad we aren’t actually related. 🙂
Lolololol. YOURE 35. YOU HAVE TWO KIDS. GO PLAY WITH THEM AND STOP WHINING AT A 23 YR OLD WHO DOESNT LIKE YOU. Go be a human, since you don’t work on Sunday’s and drink some booze and get the fuck over some seemingly tiny insignificant blogger. Not sure why you care what I say since I have no friends or readers. And yes, I don’t like you, that probably fits the definition of hater, but I hate everyone remember?
Lol I think it’s cute that you think views are useful. I like people who like to read my shit, not some fake metric of those who follow. But we get it, you need that.
A hater is someone that writes posts about another person behind their back because they are jealous. I am pretty sure you fit the bill. You may want to look up the definition… if you know how.
I am responding through the action button, so I am not actually visiting your website. I can if you like, since I am sure you could use the view. 🙂
Actually I always really wanted a hater. It’s in my goals for this year. Check.
Lol I’m not trying to hurt you? Lol you can’t seriously think that when I wrote in comments of posts you weren’t mentioned in that you would find them and cry? Lol no. Also one of us is giving the other lots of site and post views!
Why would I care to hurt your feelings when you so obviously wish to hurt mine with posts? I am not the one writing about you girl. 🙂
I think these comments are some of yours as well.
Also, not the obvious or easy choice to try an attack me. Like most people go for the “you’re a dirty skank” but instead you chose to insinuate that I’m some good ol Christian who just makes up the sex. Odd. And confusing. Either way it’s sad you’ve just sunk to saying thing you think will hurt my feelings 🙂
I feel sorry for you. Nothing better to do then to write blog posts about me. Keep going, it is amusing and possibly some of your BEST writing!
Lol I just feel sorry for you now. You sound like a 12 yr old boy. But please, feel free to continue to make a complete ass out of yourself on my blog.
You keep getting emails from your non-existent followers? Don’t you have another fake sex story to write that no one wants to read? 🙂
Lol Jason, grow the fuck up. No one likes you. And I keep getting emails about how your whining on my blog in comment form is hilariously pathetic.
I think it is obvious you are both mad that you don’t have more readers. Want to hug it out?
So I commented on this post and then you go back and edit it to bash me? LoL, too funny. You and shitshow are hilarious. Get a life, both of you. Writing posts about me and editing posts after I comment, how lame. No wonder you both don’t have followers.
I would love that; post it or email it. I wanna see it. (and I want an advance copy of your book)
Concur: the Asshole Formally Known as ‘om’ is now and henceforth and forevermore to be known only as ‘jason-the-lower-case’.
You crack me up.
Happy Tuesday to you!
Haha yup. The OM nope actually let’s just call him Jason cause that’s his name right? I feel like he doesn’t deserve some capitalized shit. He fucking sucks and is boring and ignorant. He does just follow everyone just cause it’s obnoxious.
I’ll perhaps email you a photo of the hat or when I get it: Post a blog with it!
Not sure what possessed me to write ‘shit storm’. I guess it seemed appropriate given my topic. Hey at least I got the link right.
Yes I am with you. I got into a pissing contest with OM couple of months or so ago. Then recently I hit him with a jab over his caveman stance on abortion.
I really have not much patience with folks who care more about fertilized eggs than they do about people. My Pro-Life, Atheist, Socialist views are well-documented in these pages, which should tell everyone who knows OM, how much I don’t even find him amusing anymore.
Back in the old days (January) when I birthed my Blog he was the very first to follow it. But I have never seen him darken my door until I mentioned on his site that I had written about him.
I don’t believe in following someone just in the hopes they will follow me. One of my followers said it quite elegantly:
“I don’t want followers: I want readers.”
I read every blog I follow and 90 percent of the time I leave a comment.
Thank you for your comment by the way. And I wanna see a prototype of that Hat.
Cheers to you My Friend!
Alright, it’s about time I get around to saying my thanks. That fucker the OM. I really do hate him.
I love that you called it the shit storm that is my life because unlike shitshow which is a thing, you made it seem dirty and that makes me laugh hysterically.
Thanks for the shout out. I might also make a hat now that says ‘brilliance in a bottle’ or better yet, maybe I’ll put that on the back of my book.
You da best .xx
Here is a link:
which will lead you to other links.
…yes – I am thinking you may be needing to do the sleep thang meself there Lance buoy 😉
I STILL have a wide awake child at 10 pm – no good – noooo good. I best try something else to lull her off tonight – she usually drifts off quite easily – hmmm
Nice chatting dude – I looked for the granddaddy post – no luck hey.
Oh well back to the humdrum.
Check you round Burt 😛
Wow! I had a reeeely cool respond to you.
But it slipped into the ether.
Where did it go?
Sleep may be an option for me
I will seach out. (Yeah IO know seach is not a word)
the post you meant shun…
Oh crap that made me laugh!! – I will see if I can find it. YOU need to look for a post called ‘Oh to be a Bard’ It may amuse you too 😀 Cheers! Got my little glass next to me.
My great aunt said the same thing (about Burt and me) back in ’69 or ’70. My Maternal grandmother told her to fuck off, because, she said, “The boy is already too vain.” You should read (when you have some time) my post about when my grandfather tried to shoot me. It is amusing.
..if not…now’s is a good a time as any to do so – I may piss you off now – but it just hit me who you remind me of:
I THINK his name is burt reynolds? I am just such a spring chicken I cannot remember exactly. I think he was in that movie – of course I cannot remember the name. Uuughh …..um….it had a car – a weird car and a race I think?? Ask me why I do not know!
Never ever ever deny the booze.
(Hey! I probably have blogged on this….)
Oh – I just recommended that it was time for your lager dear – I guess scotch will do fairly well enough.
Hmmm – I hear that dark bottle of smooth soft milkshake like tasting fluid desiring to be poured gently into a glass.
I think I should pay it that respect and give it what it asks for.
I have a new god….er…good friend. Wow. seriously…thank you for …well thank you. I am gonna curl up now with a bottle of ….ah sht…a bottle of scotch.
I have not read any of those – I watched the movies right 😀 I am funny like that – I think I am still 16.
I will send details as soon as I have set up my paypal account with Fine art America 😉 lol!
Actually – it is such a pleasure having a chat with people with a sense of humour.
Seriousness gets a little bit of a bore really doesn’t it? 😉
So in which case – I reckon we are pretty even.
I threw the vid there as a tease. (and of course I have watched it four times) IN A ROW
Yeah my life is….well
I have read ALL of Hitchens’ books.
I also have read the Bible (King James)
You have made me smile today.
I 0we you.
Where can I sent payment/
yeah. Look I am not watching that whole damn video ‘k – or all – how many was it now?? lol! Enjoyed the read though – another good giggle. Also some stern points that are pretty darn on the mark hey.
Life can be strange.
Thanks for your visits and for your comment here.
I got it.
You just made my day/week/month/year
No hyperbole there.
I mean it.
So eloquently put.
“Thanks, Thanks, and ever… Thanks.”
As a Non theist my self I feel flattered to have another intelligent soul on our side.
That is a fact, there are sides. The side that began as an ignorant humanoid. The ones that created answers to questions before they even had the tools to know the truth. The side that has prevented knowledge out of fear that everything their “theories” were based upon had been disproven by the only real truth, Science… The ever changing ever beautiful Science. One side hinders, the other nuriousies.
The side that has only tortured, murdered, pillaged and lied to prove its point, will eventually die. Curiosity,knowledge, the pursuit of the truth, the theory of everything will succeed simply because it will change with every theory,experiment,and possibility… We are like the universe… ever expanding.
Thank you for coming out so beautifully… Welcome.
This is funny in a very strange way! 😀
And you too.
No worries Lance. Have a good day! 🙂
Only one day? 😉
Well Sir, ’tis an honor to have you visit my house and I do mean that sincerely. I do admire your work, specifically your (until very recently) free of charge help for those bloggers who seek fame if not fortune. And still now, you provide all (and I include myself) bloggers with very good, sane, practical advice. I really have no ax to grind with you. It is just your politics (Anti – Abortion, misogyny, etc) that grate my last nerve.
That said, your entertainment value and dare I say it, your wit and even charm outweigh any misgivings I have for supporting your site.
Thank you very much for your visit and your comment.
Lance, the infidel.
You should try having one day of the month where you are anti everything! It can be liberating lmao… 😉