The Man With The News-Paper Gig (And The Booze In His Brown Paper Bag) Ed. Note: This Happened In Memphis–Not Texas

I drove to the beer store this noon in anticipation that I could not enjoy watching The-Texan– Bagdad, Floridian????


Win-The Master’s-Tournament today without supporting a proper buzz.

The street to the Beer Store is four-lane. The cross street is also four-lane.

At the Red Light (that is how we call traffic lights in Texas) there was an old man.

He had Sunday Papers scattered about over two of the four lanes at the intersection, selling them


Don’t Buy The Papers! Don’t Read All About It!


Now, I ask you. What kind of character is that? Could I ever be that noble? Could I schlep all those papers out there, brave the traffic. Try to make a buck for my family?

I would not.

Could not.

But then, I am not a good man such as that.

Wish I were.

But I’m not.

I wanted to stop and buy one of his papers, but of course I was too fucking busy and had no time to stop.

19 thoughts on “The Man With The News-Paper Gig (And The Booze In His Brown Paper Bag) Ed. Note: This Happened In Memphis–Not Texas

  1. Good ol’ Lenny.

    But the ‘version of a virgin’ line was impressive and that original was it not?

    Signing off. And leave those homeless men alone! Haha

  2. Ya busted me!

    To quote Lenny Bruce:

    “I have never had an original thought. I don’t live in a vacuum. Every thought I have has been thought before.”

  3. I imagine you have stolen a lot of what you read/saw from the seventies. I steal a lot of shit from the 80’s including the outfits, early rap music and the hairdo’s. The heavy synthesiser sound on Dylan’s Empire Burlesque is another. It’s made me what I am today like the 70’s probably did for U. It’s about time I said goodnight to the fairies.

  4. Ouch! Hahahaha
    Hey! I cried too, but out of respect, we did not see each other cry.
    Oh, on the blind horse bit: I stole that from something I read/saw in the Seventies…

  5. Thank you Thinking Person Matthew.

    “A wink is as good as a nod to a blind horse”
    –I read that somewhere.

    Thanks again.

  6. Most likely the best stuff is made up on the fly. I think the rest of the stuff is great. It’s reaffirming to remind ourselves just how ignorant we are. How do we continue to learn if we feel like ‘know-it-alls’? That has become kinda my motto also. Illuminating as always Lance.

  7. Yeah…thanks. Made it up on some fly.
    What follows…is hairy.
    Gonna lose me some peeps.
    Hope you are not one of them (lost)

  8. By the way love that intro in another post…

    ‘My Blog is no longer an aversion

    Nor a version

    of a virgin’.

    That is some sweet poetry right there.

  9. I did a U-Turn and gave a homeless guy my last twenty cash. He wiped a tear. (I saw that as I drove away)
    I had to wipe one too.
    (Just so you’d know–true story)

  10. Bubba Watson. A man I do admire. But…ya know: was a sports rivalry thing.
    Bubba Watson deserved the win. He certainly did and does. I think he is ‘grate’, but…..he was beating a Texan.
    Not great.
    Thanks for replying.

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