“Gawd I Feel Like Hell Tonight. Tears of Rage, I Cannot Fight. Lie to Me; Make Me Believe.” WARNING! Self-Pity-Party Ahead (On Steroids.)

“Danger Will Robinson! Danger!”

Tread Softly and Watch Yer Ass!


“I Miss her So Much. Believe or Don’t:

All My Words Come Main-Lined– Straight Out of My Heart–No Varmint Varnish Ever Applied Here.

All Truth.

I Caint Write Fiction–

No Talent for it.


Pity Party Anyone?

Free Booze & Snooze!

Snooze on the Nasty Couch Azzhole!

Sheryl! I Am In Perpetual Love With You!

Especially When I Discover Me Throwin’ Punches In The Air

I Fucked Up!


Just Some Last Thoughts & One


Important ‘Breaking News’ Re: Shonnie’s ‘Make-Over'”

Let’s Get This Out of the Way First:


Do NOT Read Unless You are Already Familiar With The Story from Reading the Original Series.

Skip Ahead to Here:

Author’s Note:

Some of Y’all Faithful Readers… (That is Not Sarcasm. I sincerely appreciate all Y’all who read me and have ‘Read’ me over the years, and tears, and beers)

some of Y’all have probably noticed I have been re-visiting old work and endeavoring to ‘re-work’ same.

I am doing this because a few of the old posts still have value and meaning for me and hopefully for you as well.

Most do not, but there are a handful that do.

“Shonnie”, being one of them.

“Are you going ‘somewhere’ with this Lance?”

Yes. I just wish to inform Y’all that my ‘Current Mission’ is to re-write the entire Shonnie Series. Chapter One is Done. Now only Thirteen to go!”

Someone once told me, “Lance, your ‘Shonnie’ is probably the only ‘real’ writing you have ever done.

Most of your other shit is just that: ‘Shit.’ Granted, some of it is entertaining shit, but ‘shit’ it remains.

‘Shonnie’ is the only one that will ever have even a snowflake’s chance in Hell of getting published. Provided you allow a good editor to slice and dice it.”

“Uh… Nice ‘talkin’ to ya. Thanks.”


I killed this Series a few years ago.

Pretty Certain Alcohol was involved.

Anyway, I brought it back, (With the help of Word Press—Thank you WP) if for nothing else, my own edification.

And every word I wrote, everything I recounted, actually happened as written.

(And of course, it was resurrected because I love Sheryl Crow. And of course, as a vain writer, But I just cannot cotton to killing my own words, once dragged out of my mind and put down. Hahahaha! Writers! Y’all know what I mean.)

 Please Bare er, ‘bear’…  with me on this one Y’all.

Time always makes things (memories) better. This is how I cope. As for me and Shonnie, memories are multiplied, ‘super-sized’, if you will.

The words I wrote of our relationship are all too true. I do hope she never reads those words, as neither she nor I are strong enough to re-live those heady days. This is how life is and I suppose how it should be.

(Not religious redemption: human redemption) I do not apologize for my youthful indiscretions. They belong to me alone and I will carry them alone. 

If anyone has it in their head after reading my story of Lance and Shonnie, that I did not truly love her, that I allowed her to set me free for my own self-preservation, that I did not want to fight for her, then you may want to go back and read between the lines a bit.

And with that ‘mini-rant’ spotlight shined into my soul, I leave you with this idealized and fantasized version of what Shonnie meant to me.

(Ms Shonnie’s part played and well-acted by Sheryl Crow.) Yet as good as Sheryl is, she could never be as good to, nor for me, as was Shonnie.


(But, I’d grant her an audition, none-the-less)

It shames me now to admit this but I was, back then, not strong enough to be Shonnie’s man.

Would that I could be granted a second chance

And, even now, today, I probably still am not.

But, However, Comma,,, I Have ALWAYS Made The Rules Up As I Go…

Better That Way…


If you are new here and confused, here is the beginning of this little saga: 

Shonnie, The Biker’s Wife

 Go there with my Blessing

And my Sympathy

Cheers! Y’all!

Below You Will Find Most Of The Original Posts. Once / If You Arrive At Thirteen There Are Links To The Final Few Chapters. Please keep in mind however, that each and every one of them is in the process of being rewritten: first to last. This will probably take at least two or three weeks.

UPDATE: The Shonnie Reconstruction Project is Completed.

Please read the new versions.

They are all still truth. Truth expanded. More detail, yada yada yada… and yada

I deleted the links to the original versions.

The links seem to have been confusing.

The new ones are all easily accessible.

Bonus On Us–The Management:

I Shall Believe:

Not So ‘Fun Fact: I Once Had A Pen-Pal, GF… I Loved Her Much, But, Me, Being Me,

I somehow Managed To Mangle and Destroy Our Relationship–

Go Figger!

I Sent Her This Song.

(Found Below)

After She Had Dumped Me & Cast Me To The Curb

She Was NOT Amused.

As I Kinda Recall, Her Moniker was ‘Bella-Bama’ or ‘Bama-Bella–

I Do Not Recall.

And, of Course, she was ‘Southern’,

I ONLY Fall In-Love With Southern-Women


I Still Believe in Love–

What Other Choice Do I Have?–

Me Being A Hopeless Romantic an’ All…


Far, Far, Much Better, Superior Version Below

“I’ll NEVER Be Everything You Want Me To Be.”

Credit: Sheryl Crow “No Shit, Lance? Really?”

9 thoughts on ““Gawd I Feel Like Hell Tonight. Tears of Rage, I Cannot Fight. Lie to Me; Make Me Believe.” WARNING! Self-Pity-Party Ahead (On Steroids.)

  1. “Uh? Lance?”
    “Step slowly away from the keyboard.
    Do it. Do it now!”

    “You have to stay focused”

  2. I once met a woman while in REHAB.
    I fell Head-Over-Heels in-love with her.
    Shit like that always seems to happen to me.
    Suppose I am just lucky that way.


    She loved me not!


    I emailed her this song shortly after our release.
    She was NOT mused—nor moved.
    Go Figure.

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