Lance Living Large In The Lion’s Den

Try a little kindness

This is just too rich not to share

Something really bizarre and wonderful just happened to me.

There was a loud knock upon my door. I figured it was Timothy wanting to beg a beer.

I got up and looked out the peep hole. Wasn’t Tim. It was a lady riding one of those golf-carts for invalids.

I opened the door. Hanging from my door knob was a Walmart bag. Lady glanced at it, said, “I deliver food here; it is bread and ham.”

I was so shocked that I blurted out, “God Bless You.” (Me, the Atheist) But it seemed apropos for the situation.

There are still good people in this world.

I hope I am one of them

(I feel blessed, though I probably do not deserve it)

Try a little kindness; it does a body good.

I ask for nothing from no one, because I am an asshole. I do not put up with bullshit in my life.


But when someone is unsolicited nice to me, it moves me and touches my heart. And I am grateful and honoured to be sharing their air.

Never forget: We are all in this Game Together

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

We are Humanity

That is Our Fatal Flaw

And our Blessing


Some youngish Black Bitch knocked upon my door (at zero four)
Probably a whore
“Are you alright?” she asked. “I heard something.” (Which is Bullshit)
“Well, what did you hear?” I asked. She just rolled her eyes and walked away.
These ppl don’t know who they are attempting to fuck with: I’m crazy (and dangerous)
And I am packing: Big Hard Iron and Soft Lead. Which I will be more than happy to deposit into your head.. IF you are dumb enuff to fuck with me.
And trust me: I am a damn good shot. I never miss my intended target.


And Therefore Disrupting My State of Somnambulistic Glorious Oblivious Glee.

Just trying to catch a few Z’s here.
Slamming Doors!
Why??? What the fuck??? Why must you do this???
I live here in the Lion’s Den Apartments as quiet as a Church Mouse.
I know how to open and close a fucking door without awakening the dead.
Because I RESPECT my neighbors. And their right to peace and quiet.
Apparently I am THE ONLY ONE who exhibits this level of RESPECT!

To my LOUD – ASS, Inconsiderate Neighbors:

Go FUCK Yourselves!

But please endeavor to do it quietly

Thanks in advance



Ram it, Ram it, Ram it up your Poop Chute

Things That Go Bump In My Night

Zero four hundred hours and I am taking (trying to) take a nap.

Bang! Clang! Bump! Crash! Boom!

All of this emanating from my next-door neighbor, Timothy’s apartment.

Our shared wall separating us was shaking, vibrating.

I got out of bed, opened my back door expecting to see police cars or ambulances arriving.


All quiet on The Commerce Lion’s Den Front

I think I should stop giving Timothy free beer; he may have a problem with booze.

I did not ‘check’ on him because this is how I live my life:

I mind my own business.

NYC (Or CNN) Or Le Both, Ruined My New Year’s Eve Experience!

I LOVE NYC (or at least my fantasy nostalgic version of it from The Forties)
For Lance, The New Year Only Begins when New York City drops that Big Ball in Times’ Square.
This year they ‘Dropped the Proverbial Ball.”

(Or did drop the Actual Beautiful Big Shiny Ball–I honestly don’t know–Because–CNN)

And chose to broadcast fucking car commercials instead.
Fuck you NYC! I am finally so OVER You!
(I am gonna remain in Texas.)
IF they did actually literally drop the Big Ball, fuck you CNN because you did NOT SHOW it.
Fucked up my New Years’ EVE Experience
Fuck you CNN!
(If anyone can find a video of the Ball Drop from tonight, 2020, if there actually is one, please send it to me—I wanna see it)
I am so pissed that I don’t even wanna watch Lame-Ass Don Lemon get drunk.

(What a Fucking IDIOT Moron HE is, but THAT IS A DIFFERENT POST)

From a recent Facefuk Post of Mine:

“I CANNOT wait to watch DON LEMON make a complete and absolute ass/fool of himself tonight.

He never fails to ‘deliver.’  And make me LMFAO!

(Watching CNN ‘do’ NEW YEARS EVE has become a Lance Marcom ‘Family Tradition.’)”

Fuck it!

The Magic is GONE!
Not a propitious beginning for 2021!
I fear we are gonna be more properly FUCKED than we already are….
We got No Karma to cash in.

The below is a powerfully, passionate, Magical rendition of one of my all-time favorite songs.
Way to Go Liza!

“Liza with A ‘Z’”

(Only ‘true’ Liza Fans will Catch the reference)
I have always loved you ‘Lisa’…

Opps! Sorry! Oh of course, only real Liza fans will get the joke.
(But of course, you already know that)

OK. Just gonna throw this in for reference (This post is all over the place. Unlikely I will ever ‘come back’ and clean it up)

Anyway… more on Liza:

“Liza with a ‘Z’. Not ‘Lisa’ with an ‘S’”
(Old album of hers that I wore out listening to over and over and over and over again.)

I love you Liza!

This Rare Time, The ‘Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences’

Got it Right:

Life is a Fucking Cabaret.
Try Living it!


Oh! And lest I forget to drop this in:

I also laugh my ass off watching these Bobbsey Twin Idiots:
Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper
I don’t want to be unkind, but these two assholes wear me out with their fake, forced banter.


I drop in something more “Happy” and “Upbeat” Below


(I have reading glasses–I can see the truth)

FUCK 2020!

(And YOUR lack of Compassion for Humanity)

“Hey Twenty-Twenty One!

Don’t make me angry.

You won’t like me when I’m angry.”

(Just trust me on this and keep your mouth shut and your ears open)

And of course, I am the quintessential ‘Dancing Clown’

(This should go without saying)

There has never been, nor never will be, a woman in ‘my life’–virtual or otherwise–that I will love more than Joni.

And if you have ‘groan-tired’ of me bangin on about Joni you are visiting the wrong blog.

“Cherchez la femme
Whenever love comes around
Someone’s a dancin’ clown
Cherchez la femme
Whenever hearts start to pound
Someone’s a dancin’ clown”

C’est moi Joni.

C’est Moi!

A Dancing clown.

C’est Moi!

More Joni may be found here (If you give a fuck, that is)

I Want Another Jewish Princess

Reminiscing about my rebound lover from my living in Israel days…

After That Moroccan Bitch Gladys had dumped me,

I found a new, better girl.

Her name was ‘Alanna’

 And she was beautiful—very, very, VERY beautiful.

First time I saw her I was smitten like a kitten.

She had very long dark hair and even darker eyes.

She was a Yemenite Jew Witch—She could turn frogs into wine.

Problem was, not too many frogs to be found in Israel.

We searched and searched

Alas. No frogs.

So just ended up purchasing wine from the store.

No shit.

And I loved her (briefly)

She was one of my for all-time best lovers.

(I should have married HER instead of some of the broads I later married)

I always smile inside when I remember her.

Song Below: Click it if you dare.