Category Archives: alcoholism

Sorry Kids. I am stupid Drunk–Not Really. Just Stupid–Had to Re-Post This—Expanded A Bit. I Miss My Navy SEAL Training Hazy Daze!

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Happy Cockeyed Optimist.

“I’m Stuck Like a Dope With On a Thing called ‘Hope”

I am Stupid Naive!

Immature and Incurably Green

I’ve loved my life!

Cockeyed Optimist

Mitzi Gaynor

(From “South Pacific”)

Never Worry!

“Worry” is the most useless waste of human emotions

A waste of time and energy!

***

Video Credit: BobbyMcFerrin #DontWorryBeHappy #Vevo

Late entry/addition which no one will see. I drop it anyway. just a fond memory:

When I was in Navy SEAL training, late Eighties, we had, everyday, to run around with IBS on our head (IBS: Inflatable-Boat-Small).

This is part of a song we made up:

“Oh IBS! Stuck To My Head I Guess!”

The Instructors Often Filled Them With Sand.

Just For The Added Fun

Rock Portage

So Much Fun!

(One of My Shipmates Managed To Break His Leg While We Were ‘Performing’ This Fun Little ‘Evolution’.)


NAVY SEAL TRAINING: BUD/S

Surf Passage

I loved My Times Two Navy SEAL

Training Experience (’86 & ’88)

This Guy, Patstone, is Very Representative of Your

Typical BUD/s Instructor

I Think Somewhere In-A-Hidden, Very Top-Secret So Cal Location There is A ‘Clone Lab’ Where The Navy Makes These Guys

Instructor Patstone: 

Whom I Got To Know Too Well

(For My Taste)

******

One day, one morning, my class mustered and went to retrieve our assigned IBS’s. Someone in another boat crew was laughing manically.

WTF? I pondered.

I walked over to the boat crew.

“What is so goddamn funny?” I asked.

“Lookit this shit” one said.

I looked at their IBS.

One of the SEAL instructors had spray-painted on all the IBS’s

“Don’t worry; Be Happy.”

Video Credit: BobbyMcFerrin #DontWorryBeHappy #Vevo

***

I had to laugh.’

I did still manage to maintain my sense of humor, even though I knew I was probably gonna die that day….

Damn! I miss those days. And all the ‘good’ times!

Yeah. Believe what you’ve heard/read: SEAL training is BRUTAL. But ya gotta keep a sense of humor about you. Or at least in your pocket.

****

I love Barb in Her Sailor Suit!!

(Judy, You know I LOVE You Too!)

“Happy Days Are Here Again!”

Video Credit: George John

All The Lettuce is Brown, Alien, And Alive! Yes, I Am Properly Fucked! Oh, Almost Forgot: and the Milk is Gray

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All the lettuce is brown

And the milk

is

Gray

So I ran away!

Cass,

Yeah, I’d Fuck her

Twice!

Even Thrice!

Because shit like brown, pulsating, alive lettuce frightens me. I prefer my lettuce dead, not running about, chasing me.

And gray milk?

Don’t think so!

Not appealing to me.

Been there.

Done that.

In Iraq.

Never again.

No Sir. No Ma’am!

My Life?

I’m lovin’ it!

Wanna keep it.

Alive.

Wanna keep my life… alive.

Spend your pity on someone else.

But first call in an air-strike on the lettuce–for me–thanks– ‘preciate Ya!

I will survive.

Thank you

Drive Thru

Better Version Found Below

P.S., I Love You Michelle

Cali-Dreamin’ and Schemin’

Vid Cred: Thefreddy Show

***

Added Bonus Reference

“P.S., I love you.” You. You. You. (Michelle, My Belle.)

Worth a Re-Look I Admire Her So Much. You Don’t Have to Read it. “You’re Not in Kansas Anymore Dorothy”–You Conquered The World With Your Charm. Oui, Je Parle Frainse

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“I Love and Admire You Dorothy.
Always Have.
Always Shall.

You are an American Icon.”

***

“And Thank You For Being My Teenage Fantasy Crush”

–Lance

So Much Class!

So Much Class!

And Oh So Very Very Beautiful & Talented! And Charming!

I’ll Never Grow Weary of Watching This.

Perfect Perfection

Vid Cred: Wat Bradford (Bravo Wat! Brilliant Choice of Music to drop in!)

***

I remember watching this ‘Live’

I was mesmerized.

From That Moment On…

No Woman could EVER Live Up to Dorothy… In My Simple Mind.

****

Fun Fact; Dorothy is near-sighted. This is why the astute observer will notice her squint at the end of this vid.

Yet, She would not be denied Her Dream in spite of her physical limitations. She overcame them.

“Tenacious” is the appropriate descriptor here.

Perfect American Woman (And should set an Example for all us to follow Today)

“Upon her return, Fassi discovered Hamill was nearsighted and had her fitted for glasses. The glasses, with wide lenses so she could see her figure patterns on the ice, later set a fashion trend.”

—Source: encyclopedia.com

(You’re Welcome for that ‘fun fact’)

***

Sassy & Sexy & Classy

Sexy & Sassy & Classy

I love ‘Sexy & Sassy & Classy‘

Vid Cred: GoldenAgeofFS

Beautiful, Wonderful, Charming, Class Act… Dorothy:

I’m just a sentimental mental old fool

Why Can’t I?

A very young Dorothy
(Rare Footage)

Vid Share Cred: ‘floskate’
(Thank You)

Somewhere…

****

***

Dorothy Could Have Done Anything.

Been Anything.

Thank God She Chose to Give Us Her Art!

The Perfect American Woman.

She Was The Quintessential American Dancing Queen.

The Below is Slightly Tongue-in-Cheek

(All I Could Find, But Y’all Catch My Sincere Sentiment Drift–Don’t you?)

All American Girl

All The Leaves Are Brown And My Sky is Gray

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I have spent a great portion of my life living in California.

First with my Mom back in the Sixties and then Later (Mid 80’s) When I was a Sailor Stationed in San Diego.

I have always loved Cali (Of Course not as I LOVE Texas, But Love California I did.)

So it is with a Heavy Heart That I Post this Post.

The California That I loved so Much is Dead to me Now.

And So glad I ‘escaped’ before She Tuned to Literal Shite.

I’d like to hang onto my GOOD Memories of California–All the Times Mom and I would go to San Francisco, Santa Cruz,

And of course

Haight-Ashbury

And 39613 Bruning Street

Michelle Phillips is such a petite, beautiful lady.

Love You Cass Elliot et al–Wonderful Talent in This Group

What Would You Say Now Joni?

Dearest Joni, Pretty sure California has broken your Heart as it has mine. I love you Joni for this magical Song–and for ALL of your Magical Songs–You are such an important part of my life. And you will always remain, holding a very special place in my heart.

Until Death do us part. I hope I go first. I do not wish to live in a world without you, Joni Mitchell

*****

Moving on–My fawning desire over Joni, for now, sated

(But trust me: It will resurface, and probably much sooner than later)

*******

And this Saddens Me. Me, The Eternal Cock-Eyed Optimist, But Some things Are Perma-Broken and I see no Chance of Fixing Them Anytime soon:

I Still So Much Miss My Sis! I Will NEVER Allow Her Memory To Die.

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God’ammit it! Why did she have to die? I Did NOT Giver My Permission To Die. Updated! Some Cali-Bashing! “ABBA, Joni, Madelyn, Madelyn, Madelyn, Madelyn, Madelyn, Madelyn, No Class NO Cash! Ne

I am Dying Inside Over My Remembrances of Her

:

“Hey Buddy, CAN You Spare a Dime?”

Yeah! I am trying to occupy (and distract) my mind with Beauty and Music.

(See previous posts if you do not know why this is requisite for me.)

Speaking of posts, and posting, This one is an unorganized, not edited, convoluted…. piece of shit.

(Screw it! I will NOT edit this. It was a ‘stream of consciousness! ‘If I ‘edit’ it, then it is shite, as a stream of consciousness.

And then would ring false. So I won’t fukkin’ edit it.

What you see is what you get. (I may go back and give ‘credit’ for all the vids/images I stole, but that ain’t ‘editing’– that is just not being an asshole.)

Read/Watch/Listen at Your Own Annoyance.

It is impossible to not notice…

To not notice…

How HAPPY Agnetha & Anni-Frid ARE IN this!

They LOVED IT!

And for that,

That STAGE PRESENCE!

I LOVED THEM!

(I suppose ‘The Boys’ were happy too.

But Lance don’t pay attention to the moods of boys—LOL!)

**************

This will be brief (I promise)

I have been (In Light, or in Dark, of my too recent loss)

HATE ASHBURY

I have been pondering…

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

(I believe some smart guy once said that)

Well, I been ‘prospectin’  down into MY Life.

Didn’t find no gold.

Didn’t find no silver.

Didn’t find no diamonds.

(Hangman! Hangman! Meet me at The Gallows’ Pole!”)

“How Do You Hold A Moonbeam In Your Hand?”

(“Bring me your dead sister then.)

Yeah! I am sick… and bitter!

Didn’t find…

No Solace.

Found a box of rocks tho…

Note attached:

It read, and I quote:

“Lance, this is all your life represents. Have a nice day”

—God

“Oh, and never forget: Jesus Saves.”

–G

Saves what?

Green stamps?

“Hey God!

Go to Fuck Yourself!”

(I know the grammar is fucked, but THAT is how Gladys always verbalized it)

“Go to fuck yourself!”

(See Third paragraph for Gladys)

I loved her for her broken English.

Might be continued, but I doubt it…

*******

If you’re California Dreamin’…

Don’t. It was once a Magical Place,

Now it is just One More Shit-Hole! Trust me! I Know! I have been arould the World. Twice! I know most Places are Shit Holes! But California Was Always Different! No Mas! Now it is Just One More Shit-Hole! In a World Full of Shit Holes!

It ain’t the way it used to be!

Being The Sad Story and Lamentable Fate of the Good and Gracious Mister Peabody: A Turkey

As we used to say….In the Navvvyyyy! Cali…fornia or bust! Don’t hear that so much anymore.

While aboard a Haze-Gray-And-Underway Piece of Shit. We see the coast of CA and just keep steaming right on by.

Bye – Bye!! California!

(And NEVER EVER Call Her ‘Mama Cass’ In my earshot–Her name is ‘Cass Elliot’)

And Yes! I have been to Paris France!

No Less Than Ten Times!

If you’re California Dreamin’…

Don’t.

As we used to say….In the Navvvyyyy! Cali…fornia or bust! Don’t hear that so much anymore. While aboard a Haze-Gray-And-Underway Piece of Shit.

We see the coast of CA and just keep steaming right on by. Bye – Bye!! California!

(And NEVER Call Her ‘Mama Cass’–Her name is ‘Cass Elliot’)

******

Street Cred: Memology 101:

If you are a ‘good and astute observer’ you will see Kamala trying (and failing) to dance.

Free Bonus Track

(But Donations Greedily Accepted)

“I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor.

Rich is better.”

–L. Marcom, Circa 2006

All The Leaves Are Brown
All The Leaves Are Brown

Agnetha! Please! I’ll Wait!

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Take a Chance on Me!

I will worship You!

Every Day!

You will be my

QUEEN!

My Dancing One!

And That ‘Other’ One

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This Vid NEVER Grows Old for Me.

(And I am an ‘Old Fuck!’)

Can’t take my eyes off of you… Agnetha!

“You’re just too good to be true!”

“I love you Baby!”

(Yeah, I am in Possession of fantasies)

I’d eat a mile of your s…

Just to see where it came from.

(‘Lance you’re disgusting!’)

Yes. I know.

Disgustingly Honest!

Sue me!

But LOVE ME!

*******************

Mamma!

Me!

Ahhhh!

*********

“Super-Duper-Storm-Trouper-Group”

Does not EVEN Come Close as a Valid Descriptor.

These Four changed my life.

(For the much better)

And Forever!

Back in ‘79

While in Sinai!

Oops! I fucked up the link!

Try this one!

A Desert!

But once I Discovered ABBA, I found myself residing in

‘The Garden of Eden.’

And my life was enriched.

Forever!

I will never be able to express…

How much

They impressed!

(And the)

Happiness they gave

To save!

Me!

And right at about that time…

Nickel an’ dime…

Was the time… I needed saving the most.

ABBA saved me from me.

Thank You ABBA!

Thank You!

“Thanks, Thanks, And Ever Thanks!

I still will, Always Love You,

Agnetha,

Even if you are old

(and perhaps somewhat Gray)

Now...

You are STILL Beautiful!

Shit!

We are ALL OLD NOW!

But…

We MADE The Seventies!

Unforgettable

Unregrettable!

P.S.,

The ABBA Girls Are

JUST TOO HAPPY

In This!

They LOVE Their Work!

And This IS ….

Precisely Why…

All The Reasons Why….

I love

THEM!

************

Yeah!

Lance is Revisiting…

DRUNK

en-ness

You Go Get ’em Nessy!

Get Messy!

*******

Sorry Kids!

Had to!

(The Perfection Woman!)

********

Sorry Folks!

But this was a ‘Had To!’

‘A Must Do!’

*****

First ‘version’

Of this (above)

Would NOT load.

(Up-Loader Tagged it: ‘Private!’)

I had to respond:

“Hey! Asshole!

There is Nada ‘Private’…

… On The Internet!

Now Go and fuck your Private Self!.”

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Added—In–I’m Dumb:

But I have one final point to make.

The choreography on the ‘Dancing Queen’ performance is just

Fukking Magical!

I love how the girls sing at each other face-to-face and then suddenly sing back-to-back.

Don’t think I have ever seen that done before or since.

It works so well!

Perfection Stage Presence!

Lightning Captured In A Bottle!

And ‘Captured’ On My Computer Hard-Drive—For All Time.

(Yes! I have ‘Back-Ups’)

–I am a Computer Nerd.

Remember?

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Bonus:

Somehow Related

Vid Cred: Wat Bradford