Yeah, I Am in My Second Childhood—Meep Meep

Flashback: Circa ’68.
No longer a child.

Not yet a man.

But I loved watching Road-Runner and Wile E. Coyote.

Every Saturday morning one could find me firmly ensconced in front of Mom’s and mine little B/W TV.

Watching RR & Coyote.
And laughing my ass off!

I was easily entertained—Had not yet developed my Cynicism.

Nor Discovered the Magical Nature of Girls

I planned my week around watching those two.
So now I am doing it again.
Only difference is… Internet—Watch whenever I want—For as long as I want.

(Not good, as I have substance abuse issues)

As I said:

‘Second Childhood’

Meep! Meep!

*****

Bonus ‘Added Value’ :

Flash Forward to the 90’s:

(Cartoons Kinda Changed)


Credit: The Legendary Joe Cartoon

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“Once a Man and twice a Child.”

Gnat Pool Party

So, I am tryin’ real hard (Yes it is hard. Hey! Get Yer Mind Outta That Gutter!)

Tryin’ real hard to tone down on the drinkin’.

Poured me a ‘HALF-GLASS’ of wine, (Not much more than would fill a hen’s ear) into a ‘Normal’ wine glass as opposed to my usual, ‘Barrel Glass Runneth Over.’

NE-Way….

Phone started ringing (as it sometimes do)

Set my glass on the counter and waltzed over to pick-up the phone:

“Hello,” I said.

Voice on the line asked,

“Is this Lance Marcom?”

“Might be. What do you want?”

“Mister Marcom, I am Helga with Corporation Blah, Blah, Blah. Our records indicate you are two months in arrears. When may we expect a payment to your account?”

“Let me get back to you on that.

My Fridge is running and I need to go catch it before it escapes.
Bye now.”

*Click*

Remembered my ‘Left-all-alone’ wine glass.

Went back to re-capture it and take it hostage for my liver.

Discovered the Gnats were having a Gnat Pool Party in MY POOL. Doing back-flips, canon balls, and competitive diving off the rim of my glass.

I rescued my glass and drank down the wine along with the Fun-Loving Gnats.

“That’ll teach ‘em, by God!”
I said to no one in particular.

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Theme Song:

Shared Vid Cred: benjichilders

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Footnote to the Story:

After taking Inventory, Discovered I was Dangerously low-on-Booze.

Needed to go shopping next day.

Gonna go down and shop at

“The Tom Waits Booze Emporium & Bicycle Shoppe”

Cheers Y’all!

Word-Press Distress

What I hear while on the telephone with WordPress Customer Diss-Me-Service:

WordPress, how do I hate Thee?

Let Me Count The Ways.

(This Make Take Some Time. Have A Seat. I’ll Get You A Drink)

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Hey WP! This Below could be dedicated from me to you.

(If you were worth-a-shit!)

Sadly.

You are Not

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Hey WP!!

Could Not (In Honest Conscience)

Dedicate Much to you,

But I DID Continue to Work at it.

Found Something

Special

Just for You!

Have a Nice Day!

Credit: Ashnikko

The La Mesa Yankee Girl In King Lance’s Court (From Connecticut) Work-In-Progress… *Apologies to Mark Twain*

A very long TT&H Project I am working on:

“KAREN, The Only Non-Texan Girl I Ever Loved”

(Working Title)

OK. That’s a Bullshit Lie.

But it Looked Good to Me In Print.

So I’m gonna run with it.

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Just need to wait for her to send me the photo records…


“Dear Karen,
I have a favor to ask:
Would you please email me any and all photos of us together?
(All Mine perished in a fire—that my last Wife started)
I am working on a blog story.
Don’t worry.
I am respectful.
It will be very flattering to you.
Because I did love you once.
(Probably still do)
But you weren’t no Texan.

Video credit: patgree


I forgave you that however.
Thanks in advance, -Lance.”


She emailed me back:


“I can and will. Give me a few days, I’m not at home at the moment.
I do get the just. (Pretty sure she meant ‘Gist’, but English was never her strong suit–she had ‘other talents.’) So a favor back, do I get to read what you are writing?”

I replied,


“Of course you do. The post is gonna be all about you.

And how I truly did love you.

Smoke that!

Ponder it.

You silly Gurl! I still love you.

Below is how I remember you:”

Street Vid Cred: catman916

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Oh And BTW,

Where the Fuck is “Ipanema?”

Car Shield? No Deal!

Y’all know I watch way too much CNN.

Ten Minuets of ‘News’ and Fifty Minuets of Obnoxious Commercials.

Every Hour.

Day after Day.

Every Day!

Above is one of the worst.

I dialed up Car Shield:

“Hey Car Shield! I want to Board Your Gravy Train!”

“Sure. We are here for you. But first, we require some info.”

“Watcha need?”

“Just some personal info (Which we will never share, nor sell.”)

“OK . What then?”

“Next of kin. First Born. Mother’s Maiden Name. You know. The Usual.”

“Alright. Here ya go.”

“Oh, and one last thing.”

“Yes?”

“A Photo of the Current Condition your vehicle is in.”

“Certainly. Let me hang up so that I may email you a photo.”

I emailed them my photo:

They never called me back.

Cannot imagine why…

So Fuck it!

I called up Flo

(We on ‘First Name Basis’)

“Hey Flo! How’s it go?”

“I love you Lance! How may I help you today?”

“Just hold me.”

“OK.”

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Added More Flow To My Flo:

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Germane: