Hamsterdam (Apologies to ‘The Wire’- Wonderful TV Series)

Way back in the day when I was a wee child and living in Kansas City with My Daddy and my Evil Step- Mom DJ, I had a pet hamster.

He was an infant hamster, so I had to feed him out a very tiny baby milk bottle. I loved feeding him so much in this way.

Well I kinda ‘over-did’ it and one day he just exploded.

Imagine my remorse. Hamster abuse. Unintentional.

I was not an evil child.

But I grew up to be an evil man.

It’s a Darwinian thing:

“Evolution”

Survival of the fittest

What goes around comes around I guess.

Good Karma?

I’ve accumulated none

(And probably too late to rack up any)

Oh wait!

John and Yoko can hook me up!

Added Bonus Value: HAMSTERDAM:

Video Compilation Credit: hartzilladesign

Annie! Don’t Get Your Gun—We Cool–Lah Dee Dah

I grew bored watching “Independence Day

Couldn’t finish it. Was just wasting my time.

I love sci-fi and of course I have seen this film already a few times. It was better years ago, but it just does not age well. So I pulled the plug on it and moved on.

I selected a real ‘quality’ movie that never ages for me, to re-watch:

“Annie Hall.”

(More cerebral—smarter—better. So much better–Perfection film.)

I called up Diane Keaton (I have her on ‘Speed-Dial’)

“Hey! Wanna come over for dinner and a movie? I have Annie Hall. queued up”

“Not one of my favorite films, you got anything else in your repertoire? Like ‘Star Wars’ or something? But sure. Just let me grab a cab. What’s for dinner?”

“Lobster” I said “And you don’t wanna know what else is for dinner, but you are on the dessert menu. Know that.”

“On my way,” she said, and hung up. Rather abruptly. Presumably to grab that cab. Or crab. Or lobster.

I was gonna tell her, before she hung up, that this was no BYOL PARTY -‘Bring your own lobster.’

I had it all, already ‘sorted’

(I hoped)

You must watch the below, otherwise my post just falls all apart

Bonus Clip Below (Strangely related)

“You gots to be mo’ careful.”

HANK SANK

One more silly Facefuk post:

“The below ‘Independence Day’ speech was lifted right out of ‘Henry V’

(Or ‘Hank Cinq’—as I like to call it)

Saint Crispin’s Day: The Battle of Agincourt

Watch Le Both (If you are a film buff)

But do it quickly, because FaceFuck will most likely delete this for ‘copyright violation.’

This is a stupid, silly, mindless film, but I am gonna watch it once more anyway.

(It is a guilty pleasure)”

Below: Some added value from Henry V (VERY Charming Emma Thompson)

(I just threw this in because I love this scene and I love Emma Thompson–She is beautiful and wonderfully talented)

The best line in this scene is when the maid is trying to say the English word for “foot” but it came out something approaching ‘foutre’. Which is Française for ‘fuck’.

I know this because my Moroccan girlfriend (who was fluent in French) often said to me “Va te faire foutre!” Which means “Go fuck yourself.”

(She could be so charmingly delightful at times. I did love her and her passionate spirit.)

More Shit That Makes Me Happy

Maybe it will make you happy too

Related

Credit: Pharrell Williams

Credit: Sam O’Nella

You gots to be mo’ careful:

Credit: Sam O’Nella

Credit: Sam O’Nella

Emmylou is so drop-dead beautiful (and so ‘feisty’ in this performance. I love love LOVE her!)

Linda goes to Mars and leaves her mind behind.

(I can certainly relate)

One More from Beautiful Emmylou:

Best lyric from this song:
“It ain’t no time for lengthy speeches.”

Or this one: “There ain’t no way to stop the water”

(It’s a ‘photo finish.’)

Such a wonderful song. I love you Emmylou!

Oh Domino’s!

So I ordered some more nasty food from Domino’s.

Delivery gal shows up with my order.

“You got a receipt for me to sign?”

“No. You’re good,” she said

“That’s a shame, ‘cause I wanted to add in a cash tip for your prompt diligent delivery service. But since I cannot do that, here is a better tip:

“Don’t bet the ponies.”

(She was too young to appreciate the Joke or the Mafia Reference.)

She just looked at me as if I were from Mars (Which is actually my “Home Planet”)

I am an Illegal Alien here ya know

(But I have applied for my ‘Little Green Man’ Green Card.)

***

Update:

Got an email from ICE today

It read: “Application Pending. Meantime, watch your ass.”

Fucking Bureaucracy!

Word to Anyone Who is Wise

This is a stupid post and pieced together from some stupid Facebook posts of mine. Some of it repeats itself.

Please be kind if you choose to comment, I am mentally challenged.

And yeah I know: the above is a classic example of a ‘comma splice.’ This was intentional in honor of one of my university profs who would drop an essay two letter grades for a comma splice–no matter how good the essay was.

FUCKING BITCH!

All the papers I wrote for that class (1975) were A-plus quality.

This broad had a hard-on for comma splices.

My ‘A-Plus’ papers got “C-Minuses” with red pencil accentuating them:

My fatal errors in punctuation

Cunt tried to kill my creative writing spirit with her pedantic bullshit

Guess what?

She Failed

To my “For Real Friends:”

Do not fret; We good.

Rest of you:

Pay your Money

Take your Chances.

Good luck.

(This is, of course all tongue in cheek. If you are too stupid to understand that, then you have no business ‘reading’ me.)

So spend your flamethrower fuel on someone worthy of flaming–I am not worthy–and trust me: you would lose the flame-war battle anyway. It would not end as you envisioned in your pipe dream

Word to anyone who is wise:

If you are a true friend to me, we be good.

This post is certainly not aimed at my real friends.

Rest of you: Pay your money; take your fucking chances.

Good luck. (This is, of course all tongue in cheek. If you are too stupid to understand that, then you have no business ‘reading’ me. So spend your flamethrower fuel on someone worthy of flaming–I am not worthy–and trust me: you would lose the flame-war battle anyway. It would not end as you envisioned in your pipe dreams) Please trust me on this. I am trying to to save your social media dignity (if you have any left or EVER had any, that is)

P.S. I have no idea what this post was supposed to be about.

I may be drunk.

Not my intention to offend anyone.

But guess what?

If I did, guess how many fucks I give.

Thank you. Drive Through.

And Merry Fucking 2020 Christmas

Feliz Navidad!!!

(I believe that may be ‘Meskin,’ but could be French, or Swahili–who the fuck gives a fuck? I understand what it means and that is the only thing ‘meaningful’ to me: the ‘Understanding’ If any of you have truly ‘read’ me, you’d know I done been ’round the world—fucking twice–I have experienced all kinds of cultures and guess what? I discovered value in all of them. And more importantly, I ‘learned’ something from all of them. Travel is something most stupid provincial dumb-ass Americans should take a shot at. Might make us a better country. Or at least lower the proportion of assholes who inhabit this place.