SOUTHERN COMFORT(S) ME

I LOVE SOUTHERN!

Cliff Notes/Teaser Version:

Full Album.

Must Listen,

or if not,

Why Are You Even Here?!

Vid Cred for Share:WCW

***

Now some might say Brother Dave was a racist and they would probably be right, but I am posting these bits because I love the way he talks politics and specifically about “Daddy Bird.”

I really don’t think Bro Dave was racist in his heart. Most things he said were tongue-in-cheek, but that is just my opinion.

“See? I don’t drink alcohol, ’cause I don’t want no fat liver… but that ain’t no testimony. You may have your liver to do as you please.”

“But you talk so much politics!” I’m sick and tired of politics!”

Author’s Note: I love Brother Dave becuz he was always so up-beat—Never Down! Just a Happy Man (and a drug addict)–which killed him in the end, but we have his work to cherish and to hold. And to revisit again and again and again. Caint take that away from me!

***

Lyndon Johnson, Just Another Schmuck Lookin’ Out for His Nuts

 

What I’m re-reading right now:

Yes! I’ve Read Them All!

220px-Robert_caro_2012

***

Added Value:

PREACH IT STEVE!

My Brother!

In  Disarm & Harm Those 

MOTHER-FU*KERS! “

“i cAME hOME wITH A bRAND-nEW pLAN”

(yEAH! aLL  cAPs KEY IS sTILl wREwReCkR’D) noT To meNenTinTIOoN sPEeil chEk IS fUcKeD

White Trash?

C’est Moi!

I LOVE YOU BROTHER DAVE!

YOU ENRICHED MY LIFE!

YOU ROCK JERRY!

“Knock Him Out John!”

BAREFOOT JERRY & THE CDB!

ELVIN! (NOT ELVIS!)

MORE ‘ELVIS!’ HAHA!

***

My Sweet Lil Thang

“You Mess With Her, You See A Man Get Mean”

Stevie Ray

****

JANIS!

MY LOVE

BOBBIE G!

MAIN LOVE – OF – MY – LIFE!

This song Haunts My DREAMS AT Night

Because I am Suicidal!

BUGS!

SOUTHERN WOMEN!

Bugs, Don’t Fu*k Around With Them

(They Doan Play!)

THANK YOU Lynyrd!

***

JUST A LIL’ OL’ BAND FROM TEJAS!

MY MAN!

Marshall Tucker Band!

Don’t Get Much More ‘Southern’

(Or TEXAN-In-Spirit)

Than This!

***

Author’s NOTE:

I’ll Get Around to Crediting All The Vid Sharer’s

But NOT

Now!

I am too Drunk to BE BOTHERED!

RIGHT NOW!

AT THIS MOMENT!

***

My Darling!

My Texan!

My TEXAS DARLING!

Tanya!

You’re Such a Slut!

I LOVE You For That!

***

And of course: Jackie Venson

****

Yeah!

I’m Southern!

***

Related For Steve Earle!

Sellin’ Dope and Whiskey!

***

“So I Had One more For desessert”

Kris!

(Brownsville, Texas)

Poignant

Too Much So!

DaughterS

I need!

OnE!

One thAt willl Love Me!

N’ MaTTer Not

Vid Cred: Who Gives a Shit at This Point?

Obviously I don’t because I am breakin’ my Own Rules!

PLEASE NEVER FUCK WITH ME

I AM INSANE

I WILL KILL YOU!

THRICE!

THEN

I will stand over your dead self

And Laugh

***

FIVE o’cLOK

Now wHat?

“And The Wind…

Blows Me Like A Paper Cup…

Down The Highway…”

Cred: Bee Doubya!

“I got a long long ride”

Hazel Eyes

She’s Not too Pretty…

But a beautiful smile!

She just said…

WTF is WRONG W/Me? I Need to Write Some New Shite. “You Can’t Lie to A Blank Page” Nor To A TEXAS WOMAN. Trust Me On This One Boys. I Know From Where I Speak

But If You Do Choose To Lie To A Texas Woman, Do So At Your Own Peril. I Don’t, ’cause I Know Better. I Learned This The Hard Way. But It’s Yer Ass, Not Mine. You Do You. And Good Luck Schmuck.

***

Ed. Note: Most Ev’thang I Write is “Tongue-in-Greek”–If Yu Don’t Realize This, You Probably Should’ve Taken That ‘Other’ Turn At Albaquirky

“That’s right; you’re not from Texas.”

You have my sympathy.

Lyle Lovett and His Large Band

“Oh the road she looked so lovely
As she stood there on the side
And she grew smaller in my mirror
As I watched her wave goodbye”

“I’ve Been To Memphis”

Me too Lyle, but I Managed to Escape.

Took Me Ten Years.

Takes More Than Just a Little Minute to Excavate a Tunnel

Armed Only With a Half-Broken Spoon

And a Rusty Old Butter Knife

“Been To Memphis”

******

Kinky is…. Texan (And Freaky)

Asshole From El Paso

Hank Williams jr – Texas Women

You Know You Are Dating A Texan Woman When…

(Credit: Dating Beyond Borders)

All The ‘Y’alls’ Y’all

****

All the beautiful women still left in California who haven’t yet moved to Texas are just busily packing their bags.

(Give them some time—they are on their way)

But they gonna have a lot of competition:

We have indigenous beautiful women here.

You Cali-Girls don’t stand a chance.

Because God Blessed Texas Women, Not You.

Not You.

Git over it!

And stay away from my Republic of Texas.

We neither want nor need you.

Try Portland.

Or Seattle.

I hear they are hard-up for pretty women–fresh out.

God Blessed Texas by Little Texas

Vid Share Cred: martinuk777

Yet One More Wonderful Texan Woman: Jackie Venson. Austin Born and Raised

“Lose your imagination, lose your mind.”
Too true.

Jackie Venson

(Austin)

“Lost In Time”

*********************

And of course, Tanya (Seminole, Texas)

Tanya grew infamous for her propensity to get drunk and dance on tables.

Not really ‘Lady-Like.’

This is why I LOVE Her!

Un-filtered, unashamed, unabashed pure Texan Gal!

Yep! Tanya Gets Two Vids.

Why?

Ponder That On Your Own Dime

Don’t Ask Me

‘Cause I’m Fresh Outta Dimes

AND Rhymes

And yes, there are SO MANY MORE.

But I am running out of virtual ink in my virtual pen

****

A Little added value:

Girls From Texas: Just A Little Bit Better

Video credit: patgree

***

“She Just Said She Was Goin’ To Texas For A Little While”

Cred: B.W. Stevenson

That Girl In Texas

Credit: Jon Wolfe

DO NOT Mess with Texan Women!

******

NOT THE END

NOT BY A DAMN SIGHT!

Some Very Tiny, Subtle/Expanded Up-Dates. “Still In Celebratin’ Ever’Thang TEXAS Mode OH MY Gawd! How I Do Love HER! Texas AND Jackie. Screw It! I May Be Slightly Inebriate–Ted! Howdy Ted. How’s Them Wife an’ Kids?”

Uh, This Post Makes Absolutely

NO SENSE!

Whatsoever

In Fact, It Defies Gravity and Physics

(Sorry Albert)

Jimmy Bufff-Yay: Defyin’ Gravitayy

Cred for Vid: Parrothead Poet

But I will NEVER Try to Edit/Fix It.

Gonna Print it Out And Paste it on My ‘I Love Me Wall.’

Would You Like to Know Why?

Of Course You Would.

Because Every time I See It,

It Will Remind Me Of What Alcohol Does To What’s Left of My Mind

*********

You Will Go Insane If You Ever Even Try To Follow This, Board My Train.

This My Train of Thought

Off The Tracks

Dee-Rail’d

Yep! Celebratin’ TEXAS! (& a Few ‘Lesser’ Places) I Added Some Shite. I am in Love With Her! DOES It Show? Does NEOne Give a Hoot?

(I’m NOT REALLY A Right-Wing-Asshole–

I Just Play @ One–On The Internet)

Watch! Watch! Watch!!!

Watch!!!–

***

This Post is All Outta Sync–

And I’m All Out of Ink.

BYE!

THE Videos!

Please Watch!

The Videos!

Yes! I am For Reals In Love w/Her!

She’s My Sweet Lil’ Texan Thang!

(Even Tho Her Posture is for Shite)

***

Stream of Un-Consciousness!

a-gIN!

jUST SO yOU’D kNOW!

JACKIE!

Jackie Venson – Lost in Time (Live)

Me:

Lost in Jackie

Lance, Lost In Thoughts of Jackie:

***

Looks Like This Show Is Gonna Be A Sexy Show. You’re Just Gonna Havta Deal With It”

–Jackie

She IS So SEXY!

Notice How She

Jackie!

Plays GuitaR!

She Makes LOVE to it!!!

(Fukkin’ Lucky Guitar!)

***

Jackie Venson – Austin, Texas Blues Guitarist LIVE

*******

Just Like Jimi HenDrix???

“‘Scuze Me, While I kiss the Sky!”

***

I Am Kris—-

I Don’t Wanna bE Kris!

I wanna be SomeOnE eLse

On The LiST

But aLAS

I WILL ALWAYS BE kRIS!

(Native Texan)

****

****

sTEVIE rAY!

I actually met Stevie’s Lead Guitarist—

Thanks to Madelyn, My Lost At Sea Sis…

True Story!

OK???

Vaughn!

So Long!

So Gone!

Ok???

I Buried The Lead!

From Oak Cliff

Who Knew?

I Did!

Stevie Ray Vaughan

Yu Mess With her,

Yu See a Man git MEAN!

(Not Really ‘A Dallas-Boy’– He Was from Oak Cliff–A Dallas Suburb–But Who Pays Attention To Details?–

I Do. That’s Who

Jackie!!!!

From Dallas!

(Actually Austin, But Who’s Countin?)

It’s still all Texicas!

Dallas Alice!

Linda!

Words to Some Wise:

You Ever Insult Linda…

Them’s Fightin’ Words.

Trust Me:

You Doan Wanna Go There.

I Will Flame You To Un-Natural Death

Linda, Darlin’, I’m here. Still and Forever Willin’.

Call me.

We’ll test out my new blow-up bed for leakage.

We’ll do it together–Takes two to properly test a blow-up bed for air leakage.

But, of course you’d know this already, from back-in-the-day when you were datin’ Governor Moon-Beam, Jerry Brown… Just Kidding!

I Love You Linda!

****

Jackie!

NO Words

Words Fail.

My Words Are Not Worthy

Jackie!

She Rocks My World — Texan Gal!

I Know

Yu Do’n HavE time—-I do not cafe, cARE! Mi DON’T CARE!

10?

WheEr DiD ThAt COmE FrOM?

i DON’T KNOW—- iT JUST HAPPEN””ED

tEN? wHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

i LOVER hER!

Jackie, I Adore You!

And She Keeps Messin’ Aroun’

With the Tech!

One would’ve thought she’d a done a

‘Sound Check’

BeFORE The Show.

Oh Hell No!

Not My Gal!

Do it live on Stage!

Why NOT?

I mean, Who’s Gonna Complain?

There are a baker’s dozen Bored Bar-Bouncers A-Waitin’ in the Wings, Chompin’ at the Bit

Hell Yeah!

She is So Charming, So Endearing!

Gawd!

So Human!

OMG!

How I LOVER HER!
I love Her!

She is REAL!

The REAL Deal!

So Fricken REAL!

She Don’t Give a Shit!

I Admire & Respect That In

My

(Texas)

Wimmenss”

They Don/t Fuk Around!

If Sumthin Pisses

’em off…. well, Y’all Know… wHAT!

Stand By For Heavy Rolls As The Shit/Ship Comes About!

10

Where did that

Come FroM

witHin?

From Within???

Must Be The Gin

AGIN!

10? 

Perfectly TEN?

SoMe SuBTtlE MesSage?

SEnT?

My waY???

OK!

MerRry CriRiStMaAS!

To Me!

i DON’T KNOW—- iT JUST HAPPEN

–ED

tEn?

wHERE DID ThAT COME FRoM?

^^^^^^^

JacKiE!?

Just the TwO OF US?

WHY Not?

Jackie!

Cred: Jackie Venson, Uh, DUH!!!!

DANGER WILL ROBINSON! “Assholes ‘R’ Us!” While Suffering My Forced Exile From My Belov’d Texas in Fremont, CA, Circa Nineteen-Sixties, I NEVER Missed an Episode of “Lost In Space” I Had a Telescope…

Yeah, I was a Nerdy Kid I Guess. Now I am Nerdy Man, I Guess.

Go Figure.

Wednesdays at Seven P.M., I Was always Glued to the T.V. Channel Four… I Was A “Lost-In-Space” Whore.



Some asshole just emailed me:

(Yes My email Addy is ‘Public’)

I have No Fear!

Feel Free!

‘lancemarcom781@gmail.com’

**************

I quote her:

“We” (Really?  ‘We?—whois ‘We’?)

She continued,

“We are sick to death of reading about your dead sister! STFU!”

Of course I could NOT let this go.

I had to respond.

And I did,

“Dear ‘We’,” I began.

“I have myriad words for you:

Please allow me to break them down into simple numerical form, so that your feeble mind may process & and maybe even digest:

  1. Fuck you
  2. Fuck you
  3. There is a ‘Feature’ that most Computer Mice have: It is called: ‘Scroll Down.’
  4. There is yet another, more recent Social Media Feature: it is moniker’d, “Ignore.” Try it. And if it don’t work for you, Call Mark Fuckle-Berg.
  5. Do NOT Call me! I will hurt your Soy-Based–Feelings.
  6. You do realize you are attempting to ‘Flame a Writer?’
  7. A writer possessed of a rapier wit.
  8. And a veteran of more ‘Flame Wars’ than you can even imagine in your wildest dreams?
  9. Here is a Clue
  10. And A Nickel
  11. 1st The Clue: ‘You are Clueless.’
  12. Now The Nickel: Go Sit & Spin on top of a Dildo.
  13.  Until it turns you into a ‘Happy- Slut.’
  14.  Have a Day—A Nice One.
  15. Love, Lance”

Cheers!

**************

Just some Small-Mindless

Added Value:

Cornelia an’ Lance–Drunk–Basra, Iraq, Circa …

I forget.

Circa sometime.

(Probably in the past: not tomorrow…)

Credit: moronbrothersKY: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChefbvjHOuDW8nhHu0rN_mw

(I love SOUTHERN!–Ever have I mentioned this?)

********

Yeah! I am Drunk!

Sue me!

The line forms to The Right!

Take a Number!

Good Luck!

Bonne chance!

Had to Drop some Francaise.

Forgot the “Joni”

Maybe Next Time….

No!

Need Some Joni up in here!

“Save Paradise!”

(Or Just Pave it Over and Call it a Day.)

I’ve looked at ‘Lance’

From

From Both Sides Now.

Neither One Was Pleasing.

(Scroll Down to The End… For The Ian.)

My God! But Joni is an Angel!

(Have I ever Mentioned HOW MUCH I LOVE HER?!)

*************

I know I have posted these words/sentiments of mine before.

But,

But Justin Case some of Y’all didn’t read.

Or Could Never Be Bothered Enough to Notice,

I say them Once Again:

“I enjoy ‘Entertainers.’

I enjoy being ‘Entertained’

By People who know how.

To Entertain.

Do I give a Fuck about their Politics?

Or Which Gender of the month they embrace?

Or Their Personal Lives?

Or How many times their fame and fortune allowed them to say stupid shit?

Or how many under-age Lolitas they fucked during their misspent youth?”

Or How Many Times They Have Been To Rehab?”

I can answer all of the above questions.

Succinctly.

With Just One Word:

“NO.”

As Promised Above:

Between the lines of photographs,

I’ve seen the past
It isn’t pleasing

I do not feel a sudden urge to credit the artist.

I you have ever ‘read’ me, you already know.

******

And if you be new here, welcome aboard!

Welcome Aboard The Insane Train!

Now, will you kindly surrender your ticket?

Please?

******

Last and final thought:

Bobby Darin was/is ‘The King of Cool.’

Forever!

Street Cred: Cannot find him/Her

Get Back Mack!

Could It Be Our Boy’s Done Somethin’ RASH?”

Yep. Very Much Within The Realm Of Possibility

“Oh Lord! It’s Hard to be Humble.”

(When You’re Me!)

Buddy? Spare a Dime? Or at Very Least, A Simple Rhyme? F’k Me! UPDATED: “Grapes of Wrath” Want A Bath? Good Luck With ThaT! Rant-a-Tat-Tat!-Tat! Now “Run Tell That!” (Shades of Peanut–Look It Up!)

Want And Worry–too Much Hurry! nO gLORY! and How I Was In Such A Hurry To Get My Ass Kicked Over It (Reading That Book) Or “Buddy Can You Spare a Dime?, Or Yer Girl-Friend?

The Grapes of Wrath

Buddy Can You Spare a Dime

Artist: Judy Collins

Must Watch / Listen.

Such a Beautiful Voice from such a Beautiful, Talented Lady.

And such an emotional, wonderful, sad song.

It will move you.

(If You Are Human Anyway)

Vid Share Cred: TheBigValley

Do Re Mi- Woody Guthrie:

Vid cred: Anne Miller

***

Trailer Trash

(Just Kidding)

This is The Orig Movie Trailer

I am still trying to get through Ken Burns’ documentary,

“The Dust Bowl”

But it is tearing my soul.

My people lived it.

When I was a senior in Honey Grove High School, we were tasked with reading Steinbeck, ‘Grapes of Wrath.’

I remember sharing a copy of my father’s with a classmate named Cindy…. I had a crush on her, but she didn’t really like me.

She was very tall, short – cropped reddish blond hair. Feisty. Never hesitant to tell someone who had pissed her off to “Fuck off.” Stunning, but not real pretty… Many years later she and I…. Nope. I am not gonna go there….I still value my life.

Never mind.

However, we shared my copy of the book and would sit too close together, physically touching in fact, reading the same pages at the same time.

Her boyfriend, who would eventually become her husband, was walking down the hall one day and saw us with our heads bowed together, reading the Goddamn book aloud to each other…. together….

He was not pleased by that sight.

She later told me she caught hell from him over that.

And then she laughed.

She was a strong, head-strong young woman.

I did love her.

But, shit!
I loved every strong, headstrong woman I ever met.

I was not that strong and I was afraid.

Afraid her boyfriend was gonna kick my ass over that.

So I found/bought/borrowed/stole a second copy and gave it to her, so that we didn’t have to sit too close in the classroom anymore.

This was a cowardly, stupid move on my part….

I eventually got braver and grew a pair….

Later.

Getting off track.

Sorry.

I cannot continue this right now.

Will try to return to it at some point,

And endeavor to say all the things and feelings and thoughts I want to say.

(But Y’all already know I am lying.)

Cheers!

–Lance

History Brief: Daily Life in the 1930s

Cred: Reading Through History

Al Jolson – Brother can you spare a Dime

Cred for Vid: isthisnametook

***

Sad footnote:

Cindy’s (Cindi?—never could spell her name right-which always pissed her off)

Cindi’s little brother informed me several years ago that she had died.

I cried.

I cried real, sincere tears

For her.

But mostly for me and another great, lost loved friend.

Lost forever to me.

She was crazy-wild and free and scared me, but I always wanted to sit next to her and read Steinbeck together— just one more time.

I still think of her often.

I miss you Cindy/Cindi

I will by dying soon too.

Perhaps I will join you again and we can read Steinbeck again…. together.

Again.

You down with that Girl?

Girl that never was my Girl. But you live still in my heart. And you always will every time I read a good book…. sadly I have no one to read with anymore. That was a stolen moment we had.

We shared a good book experience.

Together.

In For Real Time.

***

Wondering who, if anyone, will cry for me Argentina?

I’d like to think

Cindi Would

If She Could

But She Caint

That Bitch Died

On

Me!

Andrew Lloyd Webber Once was quoted as sayin of Madonna, Playing/ Performing Evita”

This was Just Madonna, being Madonna!

What an ass-hole he was/is!

Madonna poured her heart and Soul into that Role!

Mother-Fuck You!
Andrew Lloyd Webber!

Mother-fuk U!

Ed. Note: I seem to recall that Cindi’s Brother informed me (After reading the original posting of this post) that she was very much still alive. (or perhaps I dreamed it–Dunno)

I Simply Must Re-Post This. Never Ask Me Why Nor How My Mind Malfunctions. Because I Can’t Tell You The Why–Certainly Not The How.

Thank You In Advance, My Good & Much Valued Dear Friends/Dear Readers… “Wonderful World of Worthy Writers”

We are, each of us, all of us, complicated, worthy people, full of brightly brilliant ideas, passionate passions, boundless potentials and infinite possibilities.

We are “Writers,” which makes us just a little bit different, special, and weird.

(‘Weird’ In a very, very good way)

We each have our own personal foibles, strengths, weaknesses, levels of humanity, quirks, degrees of sanity, degrees of insanity, levels of intelligence, variances of meanness, variances of kindness, oscillating magnitudes of mood, cascades of creativity, brilliance of brevities, vacillating verbosities, and on and on…

In short we are all individuals possessing something unique that only each unique one amongst us can share.

And THAT, My Dear “Special Writer-Friends” is what makes this vocation so Magical.

And so very fulfilling and so very rewarding.

***

Ninety-Nine Percent of my Writing is Autobiographical.

And I know from visiting the Blogs, that most of my Fellow Writers, at the very least, Write a good deal in the same vein (Vain?)

For me, I find it healthy and cathartic.

Your mileage may vary.

But remember Socrates’ renowned statement,

“The unexamined life is not worth living.

Worth a ‘Watch’, so please watch.

And Thank You if You Do.

Content Credit: “School of Life”

***

Some of us have our own personal agendas.

Some of us do not.

Yet, We, each and every one of us, is worthy: Agenda Full, or Agenda Empty.

Honestly, I am fresh out (of agendas) currently, but I am shopping for one to rent.

***

Upon ‘Sober’ Reflection…

(Yes! I have Quit for Good, The Drinking–Having Chosen Life Over Death Because I still have years and years and years worth of shit I want, need, to write and to share.)

Yes! Upon sober reflection, I realize I DO have an agenda after all: My ‘agenda’, modest as it may appear, is to spread a little joy and deliver a bit of enrichment into the people’s lives who honor me by investing some of that most valuable, finite commodity we ALL share:

“Time”

I work very diligently not to waste even one single moment of yours, because there is no such thing as a ‘Money-Back-Time-Guarantee’.

“Love It, Or We’ll Refund All Your Time Spent. With Interest. No Questions Asked! Guaranteed!”

Sorry. Don’t work that way.

Some of us are Brilliant, Talented Writers.

Some us are just getting started and may need advice from time to time. Just ask; you will most likely get an inbox overflowing full.

“So, You Want To Be A Writer?”

Street Cred for Vid: Shea, Et al.

***

Some of us are polished, published, poets, prose-writers, playwright professionals, some of us are copywriters, some of us are even journalists, some of us are a combination of a few or of them all.

Some of us have genetic talent.

Some of us must work harder at it.

Most of us suffer Writer’s Block from time to time:

Content Credit: “Ivan Kander”

***

But the fact that we are all here, grinding out word after word,

Proves our worth and our respect for our craft.

And the Fact that you are reading these words right now proves you have respect for your fellow writers in Our Wonderful Writer’s Community

I think what my ‘message’ is trying (and most likely failing) to eloquently say… is that I love the writers in my fellow writer community.

We all have worth.

(Well except for that worthless schmuck who don’t like Lenny Bruce… and Y’all know I am even just kidding on that.)

“Thank You Mask Man”

Video Share Credit: ThankYouMaskedMan1

Kinda

Not Really!

Never kid About Comedy; Comedy is Serious Business!

Never Joke About Lenny; Lenny is Serious Business!

And if Y’all Think I’m a Serious Person, and not joking, I am gonna purchase you a one-way ticket to ‘The Re-Education, Never-Take-Lance-Too-Seriously Gulag Facility’, recently re-modeled and up-graded–it has running water now.

And Gulag Goulash Every Saturday Night.

–Lance, Your Humble & Worthy Servant, Who Loves, and Respects, All of ‘Y’alls’.

*****

Bonus ‘Added Value’

Shakespeare & Marlowe:

Credit: Miramax

I am fleshing out a stand-alone on this song, dropped in below ….

No. that is a lie.

I wanna write about Michelle. And only Michelle.

And I shall.

Only write about Michelle.

CyberViewX v5.17.50 Model Code=66 F/W Version=1.37

But now…

I need sleep

Right now.

I need some sleep.

Stay tuned

Vid Cred: Folk Experience