I Love You Sis! Why The Fuck Did You Die On Me? You Bitch! IF THIS Post Is In-Co=Herent & Makes No Sense–Please Forgive Me–My Mind Is Blown! And My Heart is a Broke-Dick Dog!

My Heart is Still Broke!

My Mind? Here A Moment a-go-go…

Screw it!

I So Very Much Miss My Sis!

I Will Never Get Over The Loss Of Her!

I am re-Posting This Because I am Still Missing My Sister and Wallowing In My Self-Pity “My TRUE Forever Sister (Sorry Ann)”

Fun Fact: I was Once Drunk (In Tel Aviv–Yeah It Happens) I Had a woman in my bed. (That happens too) I sang this entire song to her. She was not impressed.

I Was.

Thought I’d Done a Good Job of it.

Good Rendition

Sisters

***

And WORDPRESS IS PISSING ME OFF!

CANNOT DELETE THE REDUNDANT POSTS IN THIS POST

“One Day, You’ll Be Cool”

Said Madelyn to Lance

****

I wanted to post this polished

(And slightly edited)

But, once again,

WordPress is being

STUPID!

So…

What you see

Is what you get!

I cannot edit the Goddamn thing!

Fuk U WordPress!

I’ll come back and edit this bitch if I ever discover ‘sober.’

(Don’t set your watch–and do not hold your breath– may be a little minute or five)

Madelyn died a week ago.

I just found out today

(Not on speaking terms with my ‘Family—wonder why)

Had the un-happy news delivered to me in a fucking Facebook Post!

Imagine how I then proceeded to spin out of control!

I LOVED My Adopted Sister!

More than anyone could know.

(Especially HER!)

I never told her!

I should have!

And EVERY-FUCKING DAY!

Alas

I didn’t

EVER!

Fuck me!

Now she is dead.

And I cannot tell her how much I did truly love her.

Some snippets:

Madelyn & Me!

She ‘Maria’ to My ‘Cap’n Von Trapp’

“Sound of Music” HS Play: Circa 1974

(Script demanded we ‘kiss’—never did during rehearsals—but we ‘practiced’ at home.) Opening night, we kissed, not unlike two horny teens. It was painful. (For her. Not for me! I had been waiting for years to kiss her!)

Memories of my B’loved Sister Madelyn:

“My step-sister signed up for that too. She gots tons of LP’s. (Most sucked in my opinion). Then she could not pay the bill for the ones that kept coming. My Father had to bail her out, but that was OK: She was “Daddy’s Little Hippie Princess.” If I had pulled a stunt like that, I would have become an indentured servant for some years to pay it off.

(Do I sound bitter? Have issues?)

Naw.

Hahahah!

Cheers and Happy Friday to you my Friend.”

*****

I loved Madelyn. I really loved her!

And now she’s gone.

Forever.

For Fucking Ever!

There is NO God!

Madelyn & Me!

Memories of my B’loved Sister Madelyn:

“My step-sister signed up for that too.

She gots tons of LP’s. (Most sucked in my opinion). Then she could not pay the bill for the ones that kept coming.

My Father had to bail her out, but that was OK: She was “Daddy’s Little Hippie Princess.”

If I had pulled a stunt like that, I would have become an indentured servant for some years to pay it off.(Do I sound bitter? Have issues?)

Naw.Hahahah!Cheers and Happy Friday to you my Friend.”

*****

I loved Madelyn. I really loved her!And now she’s gone.

Forever.

For Fucking Ever!

There is NO God!

Not one that I could/would/care to recognize anyway.

****************

Fuck all This!

And fuck WordPress!

And FUCK WRITING!

“I’ll not write another line!”

Pass the fucking tea and sympathy!

For SHIT-Sure to be continued….

And

“Toss me a cigarette; I think there’s one in my raincoat.”

“Linda & Lance Go To Mars” (And They Lived Happily Ever After) It is a Linda Kind of DaY

“I never drew one response from you:”

Shades of Robin:

.https://texantales.com/2021/11/05/i-am-re-posting-this-becuz-i-am-vain-and-stupid-and-drunk-in-texas-and-the-only-good-and-true-woman-i-ever-had-hs-sweet-heart-only-emails-me-once-per-year-on-my-fukkin-bday-thats-it/





YeaH!

I BURIED THE FUCKING LEEED.

This vid below is the entire point of this pointless post:

Cred for Vid” I cannot fucking recall!

****

Yet one more stupid FaceBork Post: (Which I’m so happy to Retort: I killed—Fuk Fb!)

“I gotta repost this post and allow me to enlighten and explain to you why:

At least thirty-three percent of the songs are songs that JOhnny Whitley reminded me of or turned onto for the very first time.

Thank you Johnny:  My good, great newly re-discovered friend from “The Old HG Daze”.

Thank you Johnny. You have brought joy back into my life.

Joy was missing in action.

Now she has returned.

“Welcome back Joy. I have missed you.”

(Muse sitting on the ‘Nasty Couch’ looks up and glares at me)

I am sincere in this statement .

You have not  an idea.

But actually, I’d wager you do.

“Linda Went to Mars.”

And Lance was on that same spaceship….

We were shit-mates

Me and Linda.

And we ENJOYED  the ride.

We did not so much enjoy our “arrival”

You see…

Life is all about the “journey”

Never about the final destination arrival.

Very much so

MERRY  CHRISTMAS”

Oh shit!

I made an esoteric reference

Here is the link:

Added value:

And Jesus Wept. “More Dispatches From The Front Lines Of My Facebook Flame Wars Featur-ett” No Regret!

Author’s Notes:

  1. My ‘War’ With Kent was better-natured than it may at first appear.
  2. No Gods were harmed during this war.
  3. Some mortal egos may have been bruised however.
  4. This post is a chocolate mess.

***

I once knew a Theist named Kent

Who told me his Joy Heaven Sent

But his mind slipped a gear

His faith fled in fear

So I gave up on Kent for Lent

***

What do you call a ‘Facebooker’ who accuses another ‘Facebooker’ of hacking his own post and then reports said ‘hacker’ to Facebook for hacking his own post and then posts on his timeline, in excruciating detail how he, using his stellar sleuth skillset, figured all this out?

Take your time…

OK, time’s up.

“A Self-Made Fool, Devoid of Logic, who plays the ‘Pity Me’ card because he wants to become a laughing stock for anyone who knows how Facebook actually works.” (And for some who don’t)

Or succinctly put, you call him “Kent”

But don’t take MY word for it; you can read some samples of his ‘piercing eloquence’ below:

***

To let everyone get a little good news or good thought or just bring a little happiness on Facebook. I try to be positive and enjoy getting in contact with others old and new friends.

Check my profile I want to share and be friendly with all post and maybe make a positive difference in as many peoples’ lives as I can. Try and let the good things in the world come to light. Every now and then I may post something negative but it is trying to make a positive difference.

This is as good of a world as you want it to be. I choose to try and stay away from the bad things in the world. There really is a lot of good going on out there. I want to enjoy and be as happy as I can. While sharing my happiness with all I can. Happy,happy,happy

–Kent

***

Dear Kent,

“While sharing my happiness with all I can. Happy,happy,happy”

***

Classic case of ‘The lady doth protest too much, methinks.’

IMHO

Gibson’s “Hamlet” Is The Very BEST!

Even Better Than Sir Laurence Olivier

Who are you trying to convince of your “happy, happy, happy,” happiness?

You or ‘they’? All of ‘they’?

I think you, as do probably 99.99 percent of posters, just seek validation of your self-worth.

All are just ‘chasing likes’.

And this is fine—human nature, as it were.

I have read a lot of your posts on your timeline and your profile.

Sure.

And it seems to me your ‘happy happy happiness’ is primarily just a proselytizing form of sausage wrapped in a saccharine pancake smothered in syrup.

Once again, who are you trying to convince?

You?

Them?

Us?

Does your ‘faith’ require incessant posts requiring the great unwashed mass of the rest of us to “like, type ‘amen’, and share” if we too believe?

I’m actually not sure that I completely discount your sincerity, but it does tax credulity.

Marvelous much.

But you go Bro!

Keep posting your syrupy praises of God, Jesus, and whomever else gives you that happy,happy,happy.

Why the hell not?

Still a free country, eh?

Peace be unto you Kent.

Or perhaps that should have read,

‘Peace is onto you Kent.’

Cheers,     

Lance

***

My friend are you hell bent on trying to make people think you are an arrogant inconsiderate individual that places one under a microscope to disrespect their character coming to a narrow minded hypothesis attempting to destroy or manipulate their actions in such a manner that will somehow give you the feeling of superior intelligence that has no effect or the ability to change the individuals status or manner in which his goal to share and maybe bring a little faith and joy to their likes and beliefs.

Thank you.

I am only trying to stand strong by my spiritual beliefs. Sharing with those that I feel are doing the same. God bless you Lance. Thank you for two things. Bringing attention to others that my self worth and my ability to share my faith with others is of most importance to me.

I want nothing and I give God my Heavenly Father all the Praise and glory. For with out him I nor anyone or anything could be possible or exist. You should get what I have been blessed with.

Yes, you can be happy, happy,happy. Go for it it is a free Country. I truly believe you would have a different perspective on life in general and you can have topics that have a more sense of purpose. You are close what I think of my self is as important to me as what other think also.

I really appreciate your concern. At least you know the content of the majority of my post. This is my purpose to share with and post to my friends that enjoy and appreciate what I have to share. This is Facebook just as you shared your opinion you opened the door where I can share mine.

I hope you are not offended. This is not my intention and it will never be. God bless you Lance thank you for this humbling experience. Remember always give God all the praise and glory. Bless you once again.

–Kent

Dear Kent,

Your response is in serious need of an edit. Allow me to distill it down to the salient points:

  1. Lance is a pompous ass
  2. Lance believes (i.e., Lance has ‘Faith’—joke there for ya Kent) that he is the smartest person in the room.
  3. Kent is trying desperately to hang onto his faith by shit-posting endless memes over-expressing same, even though he freely admits that his intended audience already ‘believe’—preaching to the choir, as it were.
  4. Lance needs to ‘find’ God in order to be happy and have a sense of purpose.
  5. Lance needs to give an imaginary friend all the credit for everything Lance ever does. (I assume this includes both good and bad??)
  6. Lance needs to be blessed, and often, and by someone who knows how.
  7. That about cover it?
  8. You’re welcome

***

Dear Kent,

Lest I forget

I wrote these for you

Added a photo too

Share away!

Make someone’s day!

***

*Death Poetry Day*

He born

He torn

He die

He fry

*The End*

***

A post was once written

No one was smitten

I’d call that fittin’

Shit it was named

Its one claim to fame

Now that’s a damn shame

***

He once wrote a post

Lesser than most

Shit it was called

Comments were stalled

The content was trite

Just didn’t seem right

To waste all my time

Nor even a lime

To drop in my rum

Ho Hum! Ho Hum! Ho Hum!

(The lack of the lime was the least egregious of the sins)

***

A Cunt of a Man called Osteen

Built a Church so very Pristine

But he refused to let in

Those flooded in sin

“Fuck ‘em! They’re way too Unclean.”

“I know y’all love me. You need to get on social media. But First give Harvey-TheHurricane the ol’ heave-ho! God Blesses you, but I don’t. Move along. We’re closed.”
–Joel Osteen

“Oh My God, they Killed them all!”

Here comes the story of the Hurricane.

Bob Dylan et al

“WoW! Who would’ve ever thought they’d find me doing God’s work?”
–Lance

***

“Lil Kim’s got the hydrogen bomb”
His news bitch announced in singsong
“He’ll mount it one day
“And launch it your way
“Then smartly fuck off to Hong Kong”
So rong!”

***

There once was a boy name of Kim
Who decided to act on a whim
He launched a big bomb
In the direction of Guam
And that was the ending of him!

***

In a Loon we call Kim Jong-Un
The World sees a silly buffoon
But he put up his Dukes
Oh Fuck me; They’re Nukes!
And The World is now singing new tunes!
(So soon?)

Cheers Kent,

–Lance

***

‘A Celestial North Korea’

Credit: Christopher Hitchens

***

A full week has passed

Since Jon GOT that ass

Even Dany GOT pleased

By Crow’s bended knees

And now we must fast for Season The Last

(And That’s The GOTcha)

Bonus Content Below:

The Most Lovely and Captivating and Charmingly Endearing Emilia

***

The Iron Throne – Game of Thrones’ AWFUL final episode

Vid Content Cred: Critical Drinker

***

If’n Y’all Don’t catch my drift, my sense O’Humor…

Yu are Properly FUCKED!

S’natch, Proper Fucked

“What Did He Say?”

Cred Fot Vid: Jabba MTA

Just B’Cause I Can! Fuk..> N/M This Needs to Be Re-Posted / Re-Stated / Re-Iterated, Just To Clari-Cate The ‘Ere’ And To Make Something Perfectly ‘Clair’: “Faith” And Lance-Romance

Beautiful Lady
Such Class!

So Much Class!

Fun Fact: My Shipmate on the USS Frederick LST 1184 was a wanna-be banjo player and blue-grass dude. He tole me of a time he met Emmylou at a festival. She talked to him for thirty minutes! He Said she was so nice to him and encouraged him to pursue his dream

Asshole Didn’t even know who the fuck he had been talkin’ to… until years later

As I said:

CLASS!

CLASS ACT!

It’s all right. It’s Mid-Night and I gots a half-gallon o’ gin!

I’ll be FINE OR ‘FINED’.

yUK yUK yUK!

Emmmmy Lou!

I Fukken Love You!

Religion.

Specifically: Southern Religion

More specifically: Texan Religion.

I am talking Methodists, Baptists, Church of Chist(ers)—the Entire Gamut of The Faithful.

I love all of Y’all.

No secret: “Lance is an Atheist.”

(This is well-documented.)

However, I do love AND RESPECT

All Folks of Faith.

I just do not roll that way.

Cannot.

But I love the music.

And I love the morality

(I have that too— ‘morality’—I do not need Religion to have that)

I love the culture of Faith.

I never mean to demean anyone of Faith.

My fervent wish is to never offend.

I have too much respect for Folks of Faith.

Too much respect For Fellow Texans,

most of whom are Religious.

(I was going somewhere with this post)

Probably to Hell.

******

Post Script:

I have read ‘The Iliad’

And ‘The Odyssey’

And All The Norsemen—Thor–in particular.

I have read ‘Beowulf’

And The ‘King James Bible.’

Read it Cover-to-Cover–Most Christians cannot make that statement in ‘Good Faith’–Yet I can, because it’s the truth.

All Great Mythology.

All Magnificent Literature.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but I know what I’m talking about.

(“One of these days I’ll look back and I’ll say I left in time.”)

We are, all of us, solely responsible for our own happiness, or un-happiness, It is all on us-

No-body else is responsible

**************

“There’s a “Hallelujah!” on the lips of every dying man”

Cred: The Highwomen

****************

I’ll be an atheist until that day I die!

Why?

Becauss I learned to read.

At Age Three

More Madonna’

Less Jesus!

I Want Another Little Jewish Princess

I should NOT go HERE!

Reminiscing about my rebound lover from my living in Israel days…

After That Moroccan Bitch Gladys had dumped me,

I found a new, better girl.

Her name was ‘Ayala’

She was a Yemenite

 And she was beautiful—very, very, VERY beautiful.

First time I saw her I was smitten like a kitten.

She had very long dark hair and even darker eyes.

She was a Yemenite Jew Witch—She could turn frogs into wine.

Problem was, not too many frogs to be found in Israel.

We searched and searched

Alas. No frogs.

So just ended up purchasing wine from the store.

No shit.

And I loved her (briefly)

She was one of my for all-time best lovers.

(I should have married HER instead of some of the broads I later married)

I always smile inside when I remember her.

Song Below: Click it if you dare.

I Think I Forgot to Re-Publish This… Hard Learned Lesson Kids: Stay Away From Alcohol. “Did I Actually Write This Shite? If Yes, I Need to be Taken Out Back and Shot. In The Head. Five Times. “Linda & Lance Go To Mars”

(And They Lived Happily Ever After)

I’m an Asshole!

I Cannot Help it!

I Have Strong Opinions.

Be They Right or Be They Wrong, They’re Mine. I Own Them. Lock-Stock & Two Barrels—Better Watch Yer Ass!

‘Cause I’m Scrazy-Crazy

****

The Life and Tragic Ending of Linda McCartney

Makes Me So Sad

I Did Love Her

This Bullshit Vid Below

NOt Very good,

But it is the Only One I could Find

At the present time.

I’d cred this vid, but I have forgotten from Whom I Stole It

***

I Was in Love With Her Ever Since

“Wings Wild Life”

Shit! I’m lyin—

I was in love with her way before that!

“Some People Never Know”

I’d Like to Believe

That I Know

(Paul Did Not Truly Love Her)

But Her Untimely Death Really Fucked Up His Mind.

Lovely Linda:

Maybe He Truly Did Love Her

Who Couldn’t?

Wouldn’t

Cred: BeatlesWives

*****

Just Another Day???

Cred for Vid: Bertierocks1

****

Really?

Fuck You Paul!

You Never Knew What A Treasure You Had Been Blessed to Have

And Then Yu Got Re-Married to Some Slut in Yer Old Age–

Defiling the Memory of Linda!

U Worthless Cunt!

****

YeaH!

I BURIED THE FUCKING LEEED.

This vid below is the entire point of this pointless post:

Yet one more stupid FaceBork Post:

“I gotta repost this post and allow me to enlighten and explain to you why:

At least thirty-three percent of the songs are songs that JOhnny Whitley reminded me of or turned onto for the very first time.

Thank you Johnny:  My good, great newly re-discovered friend from “The Old HG Daze”.

Thank you Johnny. You have brought joy back into my life.

Joy was missing in action.

Now she has returned.

“Welcome back Joy. I have missed you.”

(Muse sitting on the ‘Nasty Couch’ looks up and glares at me)

I am sincere in this statement .

You have not  an idea.

But actually, I’d wager you do.

“Linda Went to Mars.”

And Lance was on that same spaceship….

We were shit-mates

Me and Linda.

And we ENJOYED  the ride.

We did not so much enjoy our “arrival”

You see…

Life is all about the “journey”

Never about the final destination arrival.

Very much so

MERRY  CHRISTMAS”

Oh shit!

I made an esoteric reference

Here is the link:

Shit that makes me happy

Added value: