Lovely Muse-Chapter: I couldn’t care less. Guess how many fucks I give. Take your time. I got nothing BUT time.

Wake up call:

Love Ladonia:

“I like your twist, just stop tagging everything.”

I could not disagree. Nor agree more.

Thank you “Love Ladonia”

(I was fucking born there, by the fucking way. What claim to fame do you have? How dare you to have the brass balls and the unmitigated gall and temerity to

CALL ME OUT?!)

For helping me get over myself and come (bring?) me on back down to Earth Son.

From now until the END OF TIME I will NOT ‘Tag’ anyone. FOREVERMORE.

(Please and Thank You and You’re Fucking welcome.)

So sorry If I bothered you and for being an asshole..

I just try to brighten someone’s life.

If only for a brief moment in time.

That is my ‘goal.’ (“Who put these Ideas in your stupid head? Fuck were you not thinking?’ asks my Lovely Muse)

If you wanna ‘read’ me, from now on, search me out. Because I am done with doing the ‘Heavy Lifting.”

(At least I am gracious enough and Man Enuff to Admit when I am WRONG)

As opposed to some Rude ASSHOLES I have had the pleasure to ‘experience’ while just walking around trying to be a good man, during my short existence on this Fucking Planet Earth.

“Put your money on the table and drive it off the fucking lot… smartly.”

(Oh, and by the way, did I mention today, “WordPress you are STUPID?”)

And a fucking douche bag of a platform?

And you make my life more difficult than it already is.

And that is a challenging task, but some fucking how, you manage to pull it off.

Zen and the Art of Commentary Maintenance

Likes and Loves and Laughing Faces
Thumbs up Thumbs up
We’re off to the races!

A cheap thrill sensation
Brings joy and elation
With so much emoji
We’ll never be lonely

But cheap thrills ain’t lasting
Only forecasting
A sugary crash
Just a quick flash

It’s comments we want
No matter the font
Comments are golden
They fling the door open

Provide inspiration
Never inflation
True comments auspicious
And very propitious

Writers need feedback
Not smiley Prozac
If compelled to emoji
Don’t do that only

Take some small time
Drop a thin dime
Comment away
Make someone’s day

 

SHITTY PITY PARTY

Lance walks into his ‘physic’ therapist’s office and slumps down…

“Hello” too effusive psychotherapist says. “And how are WE today?”
“Shitty,” I answer.
“Oh no!!” he says. “We can never feel ‘shitty’, as you say. WE are always ‘happy’.”
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Mister Marcom. WE do not talk this Way.”
“Fuck you Doc, I talk this way AND I am paying you so I CAN talk this way.”
“OK, why then are you “shitty” as you call it?”
Leaning back… wondering how long this court – ordered bullshit must go on, I decide to hit him with it:
“I am shitty ‘cause I have written some good shit on my blog and no one is reading it.”
“Please do go on.”
“Well… there is that one about Southpark
“You mean J.R.’s ranch?”
“Do you have a degree, Doc?”
“Of course, right over there on the wall, see it?”
“What’s it in, your degree?”
“Phycology.”
“Yeah, guess that makes some sense; knew it wasn’t in Pop Culture, Pops.”
“I beg your pardon.”
“Never mind.”
“Let us get back to your problem and away from my credentials, shall we? No one reads your ‘shit’, but why?”
“‘t-l-d-r’ in the vernacular.”
“Tee el dee r’? I’m afraid I do not understand your meaning here.”
“’Too Long; Didn’t Read’ Asshole.”
“Mister Marcom, I must implore you not to continue to abuse me with such language; I am merely attempting to help you here. Why is it too long? Do you hate your mother?”
“Well, it took days and days to write… And who ARE you? Do you even know what it is ‘to write’?”
“Let us focus on ‘your problem.’ shall we?”
“Doc, let us focus on yours: I don’t want to be here and THAT is YOUR problem. I just want folks to read my shit.”
“I cannot help you there, Son. Perhaps though if I may proffer a suggestion?”
“Sure. Fire away.”
“Write some better ‘shit’, as you call it.”

FaceBook’d

Recently… (A while back)

I killed my FB account. (This is a habit with me)

Yep

For reasons I’d rather not disclose, but numero one’oh is detailed below:

Anyway, I grew weary of reading about how much Jesus loves me, how I need to say ‘amen’ if I agree all the time. (They never tell ya what exactly to say when you do NOT agree), et cetera,  et al. So… I just say what I feel, which generally gets me into trouble.

So.. I said some evil things.

Have since apologized.

Been offered a promise of a promise back in Iraq (rhymes, don’t it?)

I will go there.

In’shall’allah

–Peace

(Lance)

The point of this post is thus:

I am back on FB; for whatever good that might mean. (or not mean)

-L

“Is one the moon, Dear Clown, tied to a string for me?”

(He tried, but he could not get it down)

And yes: I have been in – love with Joni Mitchell for neigh onto forty year here.

Oh! And I love Emmy Lou…  Too!

And.. Frank Zappa, and Tom Waits, and, Carly Simon, And Lenny Bruce, and… I suppose my love comes cheap.

Sorry ’bout that. So sorry Wilson.

I am sorry Wilson.

(Truly)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-zaO-hUYag

 

Well, I just got back from New York city; Kris and Rita done it all

“Rita Coolidge, Rita Coolidge cleft for me”

ritacoolidgeandkrisk.jpg

–Willie Nelson

Since it is still Texas Independence Day, I am gonna continue to bombast my Blog with Texans I admire.

Here is (in my mind) one of the greatest (and most misunderstood and underrated) Texans: Kris Kristofferson, Rhode’s Scholar, ruffian, redneck, poet.

He married well. Too bad it didn’t take. Rita Coolidge! He should have found a way to make that work…