‘Siskel & Ebert’ (& Lance): Movie Impressions

A charmingly, delightfully, hysterically funny movie. And actually, quite Touching and Endearing.
(To me anyway)
Not gonna be everyone’s ‘cup of tea.’
But my teacup runneth over.

Three Thumbs Up!

Your mileage may vary.”

—Lance ‘Ekbert’

Maria Bakalova: My Latest ‘Crush’

(Yes. Lance is a Dirty Old Man–Sue Him–He’s Old, But He Ain’t Dead)


When the world outside is pure chaos, freshly minted Oscar nominee Maria Bakalova embraces the unknown.

Text Cred for above: Joey Nolfi

“I had no idea I was joining Borat,” she tells EW’s Awardist Podcast of her mysterious audition for the hit sequel, in which she was tasked to sing and dance and embrace the “craziness” inside of her. “It was a wild, blind casting date…. It was meant to be.”

–Maria Bakalova

Perfect, Apropos Song To Sum Up This Flick:


Bonus Track:

(Give this one a few seconds to get past the blank screen)

Cheers Y’all!

Abusive, Pissed Off Severely, Majorly Pissed Off Muse

I was wasting my time and cooling my heels re-watching ‘The Wire’, and getting pleasantly smashed while drinking beer and wine. It was shaping up to be a good day.

Presently, I heard screeching tires and gravel slinging and peppering against my window.

Most Def, MY Muse, just returning from Yet-Another-Waco Trip to check on Her ‘Other’ Client… had come home.

Apparently she had received an ‘Infidelity Alert’ on Her Cell Phone.

(Yeah, That is an Actual ‘Real-World-Muse App.’)

An App She, I assume, Paid Good Money For, And To My Misfortune. She’d Had Time To Read/Listen To The Message as she was driving home to Me. I had quickly reached this assumption—not as dumb as I appear at first glance.

She was getting her money’s worth.

And I knew instinctively that I was properly fucked.

(Iraq was never this scary)

She Burst in with Fire-in-Her Eyes.

I ran for the head, shut and locked the door.

Muse screamed at me, “Bring your Cheating Ass out here RIGHT NOW, OR I’M GONNA HUFF AND PUFF!”

I cautiously unlocked and opened the door.

Time to Face Her Music.

She didn’t physically attack me, (this time), But The Fire Flashing from Her Eyes was more than enough. Way more than enough.

“You Ungrateful, Ignorant Bastard! Did you not think I would read that Lame-Ass Post Fawning all over that Hippy Slut Suzanne Verdal?! You wrote, and I quote, and let me remind you, you are rarely ‘quotable,’ You wrote,  

‘Fascinatingly, Beautiful, Fantastic, Ethereal Woman.

And The Quintessential, Perfect Muse.’


“But, I was trying to illustrate how even Leonard Cohen needed a Great Muse, just as I do. Writers are NOTHING Without Their Muses. And you are The Greatest Muse in All of Christendom.”

“Shut the Fuck up. Don’t try to blow smoke up my ass!”

“But Musey, I stammered…”

“What part of ‘Shut-The-Fuck-up’ do you not understand? Park your ass in front of that keyboard and ‘try’ to ‘write’ something half-ass decent. If you can do that, I may, maybe, just consider forgiving you. I do make allowances for your weaknesses and your mental, lean-talent limitations. You have two hours to come up with something that may resemble ‘writing.’

And if YOU EVER call me ‘Musey’ again, ever, on any day from this day forward, that day will be your last.”

I could tell she weren’t ‘playin’, so, I ‘shut’ed’ the fuck up, deposited my ass on my writing chair and started writing.

She sat down on The Nasty Couch and turned on CNN. (She HATES CNN)—This did not bode well for her mood, nor for me.

In My Future (Perhaps):

For Reference:

More In The Abusive Muse Series

To Be Continued…

Leonard Cohen’s Muse–Suzanne Verdal, & Musing About Muses–Or, What You Will

Suzanne Verdal:

Fascinatingly, Beautiful, Fantastic, Ethereal Woman.
And The Quintessential, Perfect Muse.
And this is gonna sound ‘messed up,’ but Suzanne reminds me of my Mother:
One of The ‘Original Hippy Chicks.’
(Link Also Awaiting Your Perusal at the End of this Post–‘Turtle Blues.’)

No ‘New’ Prose From Me Found Here Today.

Just some very-much-worth-watching videos

If you are a ‘writer,’ that is


I Will Pen Some-New-Shit…







If you have yet to read my “Abusive Muse” Series,

you may discover the link at the bottom of this post.

Cheers Y’all!


Cohen’s Writing ‘Process.’

As Promised Up Above:




(If you do not Appreciate My Sense of Twisted Humor, You Most-Likely took a wrong Turn at Albuquerque)

Video Credit:  ‘Joni Journey’