“Take That MaryPoppins UMbrella and Shove it UP ure Ass!” My Gawd! How Much How I MISS HER! UBH Post Continuation Teaser

My GAWD!

I met a young broken woman while at Rehab.

(Hell! We were all ‘broken.’ Otherwise how the fuck did WE ALL END UP IN THIS PLACE??)

Let us call her name, “Kelsey” (Because that was probably her name)

Once while KNEE deep in some dark philosophical discussion she looked me dead in my eye and said,

“You can take that Marry Poppins umbrella and fly the fuck outta town.”

Instant Love and Instant Karma.

“Ethel, (The Cambodian) Pirate’s Daughter” seated next to me was not amused by my most recent love lust and infatuation.

But that is how things ‘work’ while in Rehab. Relationships are fleeting and ten-a-penny and not worth a cup of warm spit once one escapes…

Rehab.

Borrowed Karma

The payback and the interest is a mother-fucker.

(Please trust me on this; I know from where I speak)

Now, please, if you please, quietly fuck the fuck off.

“The line forms to the right.”

Internal Lance Voice chimes in:

“Who on Earth do you think you are? A Superstar?”

(“Well Wrong You Are!”)

Another Entry In My “Cock-Eyeyed Optimisty-You Know….”Now Pay Attention Kids. Things Are Gonna Get Easier; Things Are Gonna Get Brighter”

So, Buck Up Lil Campers!

*****

Most of Below Originally Posted on FaceBook.

(Sorta)

****

“Now pay attention Kids.

I am Not sayin’ I love this version more than the other I recently Posted.

But Damn it’s Great! More Healthy Optimism,

Less Dread!


And Y’all know Beautiful Redheads make me weak-in-the-knees

No, not the dude with the red Ragnar Lodbrok Beard & wearin’ the Pork Pie Hat. LOL!

The Women! FFS!”

Artists Cred: An international Musical Collective.

Vid share credit: bikfoot

“Life and art & music finds a way.” (Yeah, I added that part) Screw You WuFlu!

Sue me

**********

OK, so I was trying to sleep yet another one off.
Was having this dream:
Someone was placing their hands on me.
I woke up.


MS Muse had placed some headphones over my ears and whispered softly to me,


“Hear Baby; Listen to this:
Things are gonna grow better, brighter.
I promise.”

(Since WhorrPress is SO STUPID. try to find one of My Abusive Muse Links Below. Approach it as an Easter Egg Hunt.)

Artists Credit: Five Stairsteps
Vid Share Credit: danschutz

***

I guess she really does love me after all…

I love her more.

Just sayin’

***

Have A Great Good Friday Y’all!

***

Bonus ‘Added Value’ Tracks
Just To ‘ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE’
:

The GREAT Bob Marley

The GREAT Johnny Mercer

Accentuate the Positive!

Bing Baby!

And My Be’Loved Andrews Sisters!

DANGER WILL ROBINSON! “Assholes ‘R’ Us!”



Some asshole just emailed me:

(Yes My email Addy is ‘Public’)

I have No Fear!

Feel Free!

‘lancemarcom781@gmail.com’

**************

I quote her:

“We” (Really?  ‘We?—whois ‘We’?)

She continued,

“We are sick to death of reading about your dead sister! STFU!”

Of course I could NOT let this go.

I had to respond.

And I did,

“Dear ‘We’,” I began.

“I have myriad words for you:

Please allow me to break them down into simple numerical form, so that your feeble mind may process & and maybe even digest:

  1. Fuck you
  2. Fuck you
  3. There is a ‘Feature’ that most Computer Mice have: It is called: ‘Scroll Down.’
  4. There is yet another, more recent Social Media Feature: it is moniker’d, “Ignore.” Try it. And if it don’t work for you, Call Mark Fuckle-Berg.
  5. Do NOT Call me! I will hurt your Soy-Based–Feelings.
  6. You do realize you are attempting to ‘Flame a Writer?’
  7. A writer possessed of a rapier wit.
  8. And a veteran of more ‘Flame Wars’ than you can even imagine in your wildest dreams?
  9. Here is a Clue
  10. And A Nickel
  11. 1st The Clue: ‘You are Clueless.’
  12. Now The Nickel: Go Sit & Spin on top of a Dildo.
  13.  Until it turns you into a ‘Happy- Slut.’
  14.  Have a Day—A Nice One.
  15. Love, Lance”

Cheers!

**************

Just some Small-Mindless

Added Value:

Cornelia an’ Lance–Drunk–Basra, Iraq, Circa …

I forget.

Circa sometime.

(Probably in the past: not tomorrow…)

Credit: moronbrothersKY

(I love SOUTHERN!–Ever have I mentioned this?)

********

Yeah! I am Drunk!

Sue me!

The line forms to The Right!

Take a Number!

Good Luck!

Bonne chance!

Had to Drop some Francaise.

Forgot the “Joni”

Maybe Next Time….

No!

Need Some Joni up in here!

“Save Paradise!”

(Or Just Pave it Over and Call it a Day.)

I’ve looked at ‘Lance’

From

From Both Sides Now.

Neither One Was Pleasing.

(Scroll Down to The End… For The Ian.)

My God! But Joni is an Angel!

(Have I ever Mentioned HOW MUCH I LOVE HER?!)

*************

I know I have posted these words/sentiments of mine before.

But,

But Justin Case some of Y’all didn’t read.

Or Could Never Be Bothered Enough to Notice,

I say them Once Again:

“I enjoy ‘Entertainers.’

I enjoy being ‘Entertained’

By People who know how.

To Entertain.

Do I give a Fuck about their Politics?

Or Which Gender of the month they embrace?

Or Their Personal Lives?

Or How many times their fame and fortune allowed them to say stupid shit?

Or how many under-age Lolitas they fucked during their misspent youth?”

Or How Many Times They Have Been To Rehab?”

I can answer all of the above questions.

Succinctly.

With Just One Word:

“NO.”

As Promised Above:

Between the lines of photographs,

I’ve seen the past
It isn’t pleasing

I do not feel a sudden urge to credit the artist.

I you have ever ‘read’ me, you already know.

******

And if you be new here, welcome aboard!

Welcome Aboard The Insane Train!

Now, will you kindly surrender your ticket?

Please?

******

Last and final thought:

Bobby Darin was/is ‘The King of Cool.’

Forever!

Street Cred: Cannot find him/Her

Get Back Mack!

“Oh Lord! It’s Hard to be Humble.”

(When You’re Me!)

I am re-visiting this–trying to stop thinking of how much I am Missing Madelyn-Missing Her–“English! Or Nor Wee-Gin. You Choose. Or A Charming Darling”

Vice is nice.

Candy is dandy

But liquor is quicker

It should go w/o saying from me:
I say it anyway:
I lust after Lagertha

Because I used to be a sometime warrior.
And strong women rock me
And my world.

Shield-maiden, Made In Heaven

Naw. Hell. Made in Hell. More Bettah

(I still love you Baby!)

But I had to go

See way below…

For all the reasons this is so

A Charming Darling:

If she sees this my favorite shared photo below, she will kill me.

Or very least, castrate me.

Not sure yet which way I wanna go.

English!
I love everything English/British!
I had one once.
She drove me crazy!
I was no longer the smartest in the room.
She made me crazy

I still love her

And I still miss her

Marvelous much

Woe is me

*****

Was me….

Once:

******

Only My English Lover/Woman will get the joke.
If she ever reads this
(I pray to God she don’t.)
As for The rest of You,
Well…
Never mind
.

We did that whole DNA THING

Turns out I am more English than She

She is Viking—Hundred percent.

Something is broken in my mind

Now it all makes some semblance of sense…

*****

Someone Recently “Liked” This… So Natch! I Repost it! “English!”

(I still love you Baby!)

But I had to go

See way below…

For all the reasons this is so

English!
I love everything English/British!
I had one once.
She drove me crazy!
I was no longer the smartest in the room.
She made me crazy

I still love her

And I still miss her

Marvelous much

Woe is me

*****

Was me….

Once:

******

Only My English Lover/Woman will get the joke.
If she ever reads this
(I pray to God she don’t.)
As for The rest of You,
Well…
Never mind
.

We did that whole DNA THING

Turns out I am more English than She

She is Viking—Hundred percent.

Now it all makes some semblance of sense…

*****

I am re-Posting This Because I am Still Missing My Sister and Wallowing In My Self-Pity “My TRUE Forever Sister (Sorry Ann)” And WORDPRESS IS PISSING ME OFF! CANNOT DELETE THE REDUNDANT POSTS IN THIS POST

“One Day,

You’ll Be cool.”

Said Madelyn to Lance

****

I wanted to post this polished

(And slightly edited)

But, once again,

WordPress is being

STUPID!

So…

What you see

Is what you get!

I cannot edit the Goddamn thing!

I’ll come back to this if I find ‘sober.’

(Don’t set your watch–and do not hold your breath– may be a little minute or five)

Madelyn died a week ago.

I just found out today

(Not on speaking terms with my ‘Family—wonder why)

Had the un-happy news delivered to me in a fucking Facebook Post!

Imagine how I then proceeded to spin out of control!

I LOVED My Adopted Sister!

More than anyone could know.

(Especially HER!)

I never told her!

I should have!

And EVERY-FUCKING DAY!

Alas

I didn’t

EVER!

Fuck me!

Now she is dead.

And I cannot tell her how much I did truly love her.

Some snippets:

Madelyn & Me!

She ‘Maria’ to My ‘Cap’n Von Trapp’

“Sound of Music” HS Play: Circa 1974

(Script demanded we ‘kiss’—never did during rehearsals—but we ‘practiced’ at home.) Opening night, we kissed, not unlike two horny teens. It was painful. (For her. Not for me! I had been waiting for years to kiss her!)

Memories of my B’loved Sister Madelyn:

“My step-sister signed up for that too. She gots tons of LP’s. (Most sucked in my opinion). Then she could not pay the bill for the ones that kept coming. My Father had to bail her out, but that was OK: She was “Daddy’s Little Hippie Princess.” If I had pulled a stunt like that, I would have become an indentured servant for some years to pay it off.

(Do I sound bitter? Have issues?)

Naw.

Hahahah!

Cheers and Happy Friday to you my Friend.”

*****

I loved Madelyn. I really loved her!

And now she’s gone.

Forever.

For Fucking Ever!

There is NO God!

Madelyn & Me!

Memories of my B’loved Sister Madelyn:

“My step-sister signed up for that too.

She gots tons of LP’s. (Most sucked in my opinion). Then she could not pay the bill for the ones that kept coming.

My Father had to bail her out, but that was OK: She was “Daddy’s Little Hippie Princess.”

If I had pulled a stunt like that, I would have become an indentured servant for some years to pay it off.(Do I sound bitter? Have issues?)

Naw.Hahahah!Cheers and Happy Friday to you my Friend.”

*****

I loved Madelyn. I really loved her!And now she’s gone.

Forever.

For Fucking Ever!

There is NO God!

Not one that I could/would/care to recognize anyway.

****************

Fuck all This!

And fuck WordPress!

And FUCK WRITING!

“I’ll not write another line!”

Pass the fucking tea and sympathy!

For SHIT-Sure to be continued….

And

“Pass me a cigarette; I think there’s one in my raincoat.”