“You Can Take That Mary Poppins UMbrella and Shove it Straight UP U’re Ass. And Then fly all the way home! All Alone.”
I love Angela Cartwright
Esoteric Ref…. Sorry!
I Just Caint Hep it!
Lost in Her Space!
Her outter space space race!
Whiskers On Kittens
My Gawd! How Much How Much I MISS HER!
UBH Post Continuation Teaser
I Met such wonderful, intelligent folks in re-hab.
All were so intelligent and so eloquent.
No. I’m not talkin’ ’bout the staff; I’m talkin’ ’bout my fellow inmates.
Oh My GAWD!
“You Better Get Yourself Together;
Pretty soon You’re Gonna Be Ded”
But We ALL Shine On!
I met a young broken woman while at Rehab.
(Hell! We were all ‘broken.’ Otherwise how the fuck did WE ALL END UP IN THIS PLACE??)
Let us call her name, “Kelsey” (Because that was probably her name)
Once while KNEE deep in some dark philosophical discussion she looked me dead in my eye and said,
“You can take that Marry Poppins umbrella and fly the fuck outta town.”
Instant Love and Instant Karma.
“Ethel, (The Cambodian) Pirate’s Daughter” seated next to me was not amused by my most recent love lust and infatuation.
But that is how things ‘work’ while in Rehab. Relationships are fleeting and ten-a-penny and not worth a cup of warm spit once one escapes…
The payback and the interest is a mother-fu#ker.
(Please trust me on this; I know from where I speak)
Now, please, if you please, quietly f*ck the fu%k off.
“The line forms to the right.”
Internal Lance Voice chimes in:
“Who on Earth do you think you are? A Superstar?”
“Well Wrong You Are!”
Being Well-Known and Eight Bits Might, Just Might
Get You A Cup Of Coffee.
If You’re Lucky And Have Not Sinned Recently.
Guess That Counts ME Out
Asshole! I KNOw I KnOw I know I’m a Fukking asshole! I am, A fuckkking Asshole! But I AM not f*CkIN’ sTUpId!
“Shoot Low Sir; I Think she’s Riding a Shetland.”
I Know! Hand Me the Rifle, watch this and STFU!
I Know I Know I Know…
Bill Withers – Ain’t No Sunshine
Did Y’all Count the “I Knows?”
I Know I know That I did.
I Counted Twenty-Four–
But then, I’m see’in’ Double
Foreigner – Double Vision:
Yer Mileage May Vary
Cred for Vid: Andres Trevino
Texas ain’t ’bout SHit
She is sublime!
In My Mind!
I Created Her In My Mind-Time
But! Go Ahead!
Spend a dime!
Take some Time
And Go Ahead
Live With Me!
My Vain Fantasy!
“Shoot Low Sir; I Think she’s Riding a Shetland.“
“Deep In The Heart Of Texas”
I made her
In My Mind!
I will expand on thIS LAtR“
(iF yer Lucky)
This is SEXIST aSK
Ask me hoW maNY Fuks
I Don’t Give!
God Blesse’d Texas!
Rhonda and I, My Second or Third,
Lived Less Than Three Mile From
Our Tailor PARK
I am NOT
Making This Up!
U Can Look it Up!
(It is Still There!)
But they No Longer Call Them
They are Now…
I am Just Plain ‘Ol White Trash
Proud of it
You Broke it!
You Fix it!
I don’t C’AAre, Nor gi\ve a fuk!
All the Y’alls
Friday Night Lights:
All the Y’alls from Tami Taylor
Yu Fix This Chocolate Mess!
I don’t Have The Time
WP is Stupid…
It is NOT Even Intuitive!—
This is ‘Tweenty-One
Cred: Chris Spags Ate all, Y’all
& K.Ryan Jones (I Think)
And, Please Don’t Quote Me
(I Have More Than Enough Illegal Troubles Already)
Lyle, I LOVE IT!”
Watch This GD it
More Bonus OnUS!
I Just MISS My Sister. Fuck Everything! I do Not Give a Shit FOR Life Without Her in it to Talk To!
Read if you have want. Yeah! I am bitter! Madelyn! Godamn Her! I Did NOT Give Her My Permission To Die!
She Died On Me! She Was Always So Popular! The Phone Rang Off The Wall! The Call Was Always For her! Never For Me! “Lance is an asshole! Talk to Madelyn—She is Nice”—
Bullshit! She was Not Nice To Anyone But Me. In Her Heart. We Knew and Understood “The Game” But We Never Verbalized it; We Did Not Have To”
I miss her so much
I cannot write anymore on this right now.
I’ll get back to it.
My heart is still broken.
Some may ponder
I Love her so much
Here is the reason
For All Seasons
She Always Stood By Me
Through thick and Thin
She was My Athena,
From the World
(Even When I was in Iraq)
She was always there for me
Constant as the Northern Star
Change the name from ‘Richard’ to ‘Madelyn’
Then You May Catch My Drift:
This was The Joni I wished to share!
Constantly in the darkness?
Where’s that at?
If you want me, I’ll be in the bar.:
Joni is such a complicated / fascinating brilliant woman,
as was my Madelyn, my sister
My much loved and missed sis
Goddamn I Miss her!
Lance & His B’Loved Sis:
I truly wish I had more pics, but I don’t–my misfortune, not yours.
The Untimely Loss of her… fuck it!
I have said it all before.
But I am sad.
I cannot put it more succinctly than that
I Miss Her
Now You’re Not Here Bitch!
Sit Down, STFU, and Never Leave Me Again!
Now, I Weep For Chicago (And For My Country)
Street Cred: Paul Joseph Watson
I Don’t Fukkin’ Think So!
I have been suffering The Incompetency of WordPress For Over A Decade Now.
I am Growing Weary!
Young Girls–And This Here Cowboy Do Get Weary
Three Dog Night – Try A Little Tenderness
So they put me on a stretcher and schlepped me out of the Hotel Magnuson.
Upon my arrival,
Asked me of my ‘complaint.’
“I think I’m dying.”
“OK Sir, relax”
I was so ‘relaxed’ by this point that I wanted to embrace death.
My legs had stopped working, in fact.
They were all so kind.
They did all the usual Hospital Shit:
Made me pee in a bottle.
Cred For This Above: The Critical Drinker (And I Have Tried–Multiple Times–To Move This Line Up-The-Fukkin’ Page to Where It Should Be. But Guess What? WORDPRESS!
And Furthermore, I Have Descended Into “No Fuks Given Territory”
Stuck me with all kinds of pins and needles.
Put me in that torture chamber.
That noisy machine…. What makes you pray to Hey Zeus.
Several hours later, they pronounced me “Good to Go.”
Told me to go home.
“No ride” I said.
One of the EMTs was just getting off shift and said,
“No problem, I will drive you.”
(I have always appreciated the kindness of strangers)
EMT Guy, dropped me at the Magnuson.
Shamefully, Sheep-Like, I staggered back to my room.
Went into some kind of coma-sleep.
Called Nine-One-One Once again.
“What now, Marcom?”
Apparently they had my phone ID.
And why not?
“I am dying.” I said.
“Again?” she said.
“Yes, again; send help,” I shot back.
“OK You still at the Magnuson?”
Some many minutes later….
Same song, different verse:
Arrived back at Commerce Hospital ER
But with a twist.
There was this EMT.
Let us call his name, “Shawn”
Because that is his name.
He was so fucking proud of it that he announced it to me…
Shawn was having none of my antics.
He called me out on my bullshit.
He knew I was drunk.
And I knew I was drunk.
Recipe for disaster and testosterone collision.
We had that semblance of common knowledge going on.
As they were trying to place me back on the bed in the ER, Shawn got up in my face.
“Listen, Asshole….” He broached.
That is all it took.
I got right back up in HIS face:
“Listen, Mother-Fucker! I am sincerely IN PAIN! Do NOT fuck with me!”
He was not impressed.
He got back in my Face and said,
“I give no fucks about your ‘pain.’
We got eyeball to eyeball.
Nose to nose.
Cheek to cheek.
Chest to chest.
I suppose at some point, Police were summoned.
Shawn and I, were at that point…
Joined at the hip.
The Po-Lease Arrived.
Managed to surgically separate us.
They took Shawn away.
And put me away.
In the Hospital Bed.
Where I ‘rested.’
The Cops hung around.
I suppose to just make certain I was not gonna kill anyone.
We had some ‘chat.’
They asked me if I was gonna be a ‘problem’ for the Hospital Staff.
I said, “No. Just as long as you keep that asshole Shawn outta my sight.”
One cop said, “Shawn is gone.”
“Fine then,” I said back.
And then we, the cops and me, enjoyed some of my War Stories of Iraq and Afghanistan.
And we had a merry time.
I think, looking back, Shawn and I just had communication deficit.
Next time I found me in the Commerce ER, I told that same very nice EMT that I had regrets about Shawn.
And that I’d like to apologize (I seem to be ‘apologizing’ a lot these days)
He was kind, and said,
“I will tell him; certain he will appreciate the sentiment.”
“Thank You.” I said. “Now fetch me a beer.”
(I guess eyes rolled at this point, but at the very least, I had managed to make him smile inside.)
“If You Ain’t Shawn, I’m Gone!”
I sincerely regret That fact.
That I feel this need..
To hit you upon your head.
“If you ain’t Shawn, I’m Gone!”
Writing is fun!
They draw first and then they run.’
While shooting at a girl named of “Nancy’
(She called herself ‘Lil.’ but her name was Ma Gill)
We just called her ‘Nancy”
(This is called ‘foreshadowing’–yeah–it’s a literary term. Ha ha ha!)
“Rocky, you’ve met your match.”
I said, “No Doc; it’s only a scratch!”
“But I’ll get better, I’ll get better, soon as I’m able..”
To be continued…
“If you ain’t Shawn, I’m gone.”