Hamsterdam (Apologies to ‘The Wire’- Wonderful TV Series)

Way back in the day when I was a wee child and living in Kansas City with My Daddy and my Evil Step- Mom DJ, I had a pet hamster.

He was an infant hamster, so I had to feed him out a very tiny baby milk bottle. I loved feeding him so much in this way.

Well I kinda ‘over-did’ it and one day he just exploded.

Imagine my remorse. Hamster abuse. Unintentional.

I was not an evil child.

But I grew up to be an evil man.

It’s a Darwinian thing:

“Evolution”

Survival of the fittest

What goes around comes around I guess.

Good Karma?

I’ve accumulated none

(And probably too late to rack up any)

Oh wait!

John and Yoko can hook me up!

Added Bonus Value: HAMSTERDAM:

Video Compilation Credit: hartzilladesign

Word to Anyone Who is Wise

This is a stupid post and pieced together from some stupid Facebook posts of mine. Some of it repeats itself.

Please be kind if you choose to comment, I am mentally challenged.

And yeah I know: the above is a classic example of a ‘comma splice.’ This was intentional in honor of one of my university profs who would drop an essay two letter grades for a comma splice–no matter how good the essay was.

FUCKING BITCH!

All the papers I wrote for that class (1975) were A-plus quality.

This broad had a hard-on for comma splices.

My ‘A-Plus’ papers got “C-Minuses” with red pencil accentuating them:

My fatal errors in punctuation

Cunt tried to kill my creative writing spirit with her pedantic bullshit

Guess what?

She Failed

To my “For Real Friends:”

Do not fret; We good.

Rest of you:

Pay your Money

Take your Chances.

Good luck.

(This is, of course all tongue in cheek. If you are too stupid to understand that, then you have no business ‘reading’ me.)

So spend your flamethrower fuel on someone worthy of flaming–I am not worthy–and trust me: you would lose the flame-war battle anyway. It would not end as you envisioned in your pipe dream

Word to anyone who is wise:

If you are a true friend to me, we be good.

This post is certainly not aimed at my real friends.

Rest of you: Pay your money; take your fucking chances.

Good luck. (This is, of course all tongue in cheek. If you are too stupid to understand that, then you have no business ‘reading’ me. So spend your flamethrower fuel on someone worthy of flaming–I am not worthy–and trust me: you would lose the flame-war battle anyway. It would not end as you envisioned in your pipe dreams) Please trust me on this. I am trying to to save your social media dignity (if you have any left or EVER had any, that is)

P.S. I have no idea what this post was supposed to be about.

I may be drunk.

Not my intention to offend anyone.

But guess what?

If I did, guess how many fucks I give.

Thank you. Drive Through.

And Merry Fucking 2020 Christmas

Feliz Navidad!!!

(I believe that may be ‘Meskin,’ but could be French, or Swahili–who the fuck gives a fuck? I understand what it means and that is the only thing ‘meaningful’ to me: the ‘Understanding’ If any of you have truly ‘read’ me, you’d know I done been ’round the world—fucking twice–I have experienced all kinds of cultures and guess what? I discovered value in all of them. And more importantly, I ‘learned’ something from all of them. Travel is something most stupid provincial dumb-ass Americans should take a shot at. Might make us a better country. Or at least lower the proportion of assholes who inhabit this place.

Never Piss Off Your Prostate (If You Do, You’ll Never Piss Again- And Then You Will Die)

It is taking me longer and longer to piss these days.

As I was seated on the shitter trying to take a piss (now I sit down to piss—I know that is weird for a man, but my aim ain’t what it used to be).

Anyway, couldn’t piss—needed to—so I dialed up my prostate:

“Hey Prostate! What’s up? How’s it hangin?’”

Prostate replied, “You’re fucked.”

(Video Credit: Luca Elmi)

B&B (No! Not Bed & Breakfast)

I tortured my Facebook friends with these; figured I’d torture my WordPress friends as well.

What the Hell, right?

”Sharing is CARING.”

Original FB text from my three demented posts:

“Hey Baby.”

You will laugh

(If you’re sick and demented like me)

(Vid compilation credit: Gary Diablo)

More sick humor.(definitely NOT for everyone)

You’re welcome.

(Vid compilation credit: MMM)

And of course this is the All-Time-Classic:

“The Great Cornholio”

OK. I will stop ‘Shit-Posting’ (for now)

Sorry. I know I am sick in my head. I just want to make at least one person laugh with me.

Bonus Clip Below

Ponder this while you are savoring your next fast-food burger.

Good luck.

And of course: Customers SUCK

This Man (CERTAINLY) is a fucking genius.

Fun Fact: He was born in Guayaquil, Ecuador.

I did not know this, but now I know. And now so do you.

(If you’ve come this far.)

Added Stupid Value:

(Because I’m stupid)

Ask me how many fucks I give

This is MY BLOG

And I’m stuck to it

Oh, and once again:

“Fuck You WordPress!”

(I always like to throw that in)

Just for ‘grins.’

And while on this silly subject, some more stupid silliness:

Julie and Julia

This is one of the most charming movies from ‘semi recent’ times.

It works on all levels. It is a delight to watch.

P.S. I love Amy Adams. Surprised? You shouldn’t be.

(Meryl Streep ain’t no slouch neither)

And of course, this movie is all about ‘writing’ which hits so close to home for me, your humble servant.

“I can write a blog. I have thoughts.”–Julie

Added Value:

The Real Julie Powell (Clik the link linked in below.)

And of course, She is a Native TEXAN

(Born in Austin)

Which makes her even more magical for me.

https://www.biography.com/writer/julie-powell

Ending song for this wonderfully, brilliantly done movie.

Everything works in this film

It is perfection