I Hate Television (But I Desperately Need It!)

Portable television set with screen smashed

This (Above) vid is kinda lame.
But best I could find.
On my short dime.
Cred: UnBemlo

****

My television set has stopped working.
I hate that!
I cannot watch CNN!
Now I will have to bother Cynthia…

Once Again.

At least my Internet Sill Works.

Good for Me.

Bad for You.

****

Added Bonus:

I Prefer Radio!

Lovely, Beautiful Joni!

Trolling For Baited Breath

“Dear Peggy, Just ‘Bee’ Happy”

And Sing.

Even if it is Your Swan… Song

Vid Share Cred: Peacock Kids

***

Someone Just Called me a “Troll”
Am I?

I don’t Know.

Don’t Think So.

Perhaps… A Little

But Ain’t We All. To some Degree?

****

No! I know!

Troll? I am none!

I am a decent, caring, good, honest man.
God-damnit!

I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
Here is some proof, Ruth:

Peggy Ames (Last Name redacted) :

“Soul Alchemy I am not sure but I think L. Marcom Is a troll! If not there appears to be other issues there that responding to could create further issues! At least be observant!”

My Respond To Peggy Ames:

“Dear Lady (BTW, My Mother’s Name was “Peggy’–May she rest in peace. You are not my mother–so do not pass unsustainable judgements on me)

I am going to leave you with this (Yes. Your insult cut me to the quick and hurt much)

From my recent post on FB:

“Someone Just Called me a “Troll”

“Troll?” I am none!

I am a decent, caring, sharing, (somewhat daring) good man.

God-damn it! Never a ‘Troll’. I take the time.

And Drop My Dime to comment on posts I ‘Like.’

I am no ‘Drive-by Liker.’

People deserve feedback when they post something that they spent some time constructing.

That’s all.

I am not a ‘Troll” I am a good, gracious, (somewhat humble) man.

Here is proof:”

Already dropped that in… see above Peggy. ‘Callen’

***

Hey Peggy!

Keep Them Doggies Movin’!

I’d Venture A Wager That’s The One Thing You’re Great At:

Staring at The Ass-End of Cows.

As They Keep Trying to Move Far Away From You.

Almost My Last ‘Lucia Chap’–The Denouement is Coming – Soon. Please Stand By. Bye! Bye!

I came home one day.
So happy to be off work.
Walked in the door.
Waited for Lucia to jump me and try to claw my eyes out.
She did not come.
I went looking for her.
Found her motionless,
prostrated on the floor.
Gently I Gathered Her in My Arms and drove Her to The Vet.
“Please Fix My Cat” I said handing her to him.

“I’ll do my Best,” He said.

Turns out, His ‘Best’ Was Not Good Enough

***

‘Chia died on me.

‘Devastation’ is not nearly a strong enough word.

I know it’s silly, stupid, ‘scrazy’, but I will

NEVER !

EVER !

Never Get over the loss of that God–Damn Cat,

After All These Years and Tears and Beers…

I still miss her!

My Pet

My Lucia

***

It still, still today,

Hurts so BAD!

***

Lance!

Try to Remain In Your Up-Beat, Happy Lane!

Do NOT Wallow in Depression.

That is NOT Healthy Behavior!

Move On!

Street Cred for Vid: Pharrell Williams

Mother-Fuck You Facebook!

Cred for Creative Vid: ‘Intermittent Explosive Disorder’

****

I am already drunk.

(of course)

So What??

What to do?

I am about to get Get Drunker.

Stand by for more unhappy words directed directly at you:

Facefuck!

****

Fuck you Facefuk!
I don’t have time, nor inclination to wrestle you over small edits.
So… Go get wrecked!
(and fucked, while you’re at it)

***

WASTED

Perfect!

Gonna add this to my Life’s Soundtrack:

Soon available as a Box’d-Up Set

Available At Fine Book Stores Everywhere.

(If you have a time-machine)

But Now! However…. No!

Wait! No Fine Book Stores Left???”

No kinda, semi-fine Bookstores?”

No sorta-fine Bookstores?”

No Marginally Fine Bookstores?”

No Mediocre-Fine Bookstores?”

No Bargain – Basement Bookstores?”

“NO!”

Well… Fuck me Then! I Quit!”

“Lance, You are already Proper-Fucked!

And you can’t quit: you are an indentured

servant-tude—

Dude”

******

Try Amazon.

Free Shipping…If you have been ‘Primed.’

But ‘BYOP’– Bring Yer Own Pump.

************

“And I could have done so many things Baby

If I could only stop my mind

From wondering what I left behind

And from worrying about this wasted time.”

****

“Oh My God! What’s Happening to me?”

*************

Bonus Track:

BONUS BONUS DOUBLE BONUS TRACK:

Street Cred: JoniJourney

*************

Cheers Y’all!

******

“You don’t care much for a stranger’s touch, this far down the line.”

I’m afraid….

It’s all been wasted time.”

****

Yeah! I fucked up the lyrcs—Go ahead, ask me how many fuks I give.

I can save you from the Mathematical Pain:

Lance casually regards slide-rule.

Picks up same.

Works it.

“Ching! Ching! Ching! Bing!”

Lance regards the slide-rule….

.*******

Then announces:

Survey Says:

Zero!

Zero Fucks Given!

****

Thank You;

Drive through.