DANGER WILL ROBINSON! “Assholes ‘R’ Us!”



Some asshole just emailed me:

(Yes My email Addy is ‘Public’)

I have No Fear!

Feel Free!

‘lancemarcom781@gmail.com’

**************

I quote her:

“We” (Really?  ‘We?—whois ‘We’?)

She continued,

“We are sick to death of reading about your dead sister! STFU!”

Of course I could NOT let this go.

I had to respond.

And I did,

“Dear ‘We’,” I began.

“I have myriad words for you:

Please allow me to break them down into simple numerical form, so that your feeble mind may process & and maybe even digest:

  1. Fuck you
  2. Fuck you
  3. There is a ‘Feature’ that most Computer Mice have: It is called: ‘Scroll Down.’
  4. There is yet another, more recent Social Media Feature: it is moniker’d, “Ignore.” Try it. And if it don’t work for you, Call Mark Fuckle-Berg.
  5. Do NOT Call me! I will hurt your Soy-Based–Feelings.
  6. You do realize you are attempting to ‘Flame a Writer?’
  7. A writer possessed of a rapier wit.
  8. And a veteran of more ‘Flame Wars’ than you can even imagine in your wildest dreams?
  9. Here is a Clue
  10. And A Nickel
  11. 1st The Clue: ‘You are Clueless.’
  12. Now The Nickel: Go Sit & Spin on top of a Dildo.
  13.  Until it turns you into a ‘Happy- Slut.’
  14.  Have a Day—A Nice One.
  15. Love, Lance”

Cheers!

**************

Just some Small-Mindless

Added Value:

Cornelia an’ Lance–Drunk–Basra, Iraq, Circa …

I forget.

Circa sometime.

(Probably in the past: not tomorrow…)

Credit: moronbrothersKY

(I love SOUTHERN!–Ever have I mentioned this?)

********

Yeah! I am Drunk!

Sue me!

The line forms to The Right!

Take a Number!

Good Luck!

Bonne chance!

Had to Drop some Francaise.

Forgot the “Joni”

Maybe Next Time….

No!

Need Some Joni up in here!

“Save Paradise!”

(Or Just Pave it Over and Call it a Day.)

I’ve looked at ‘Lance’

From

From Both Sides Now.

Neither One Was Pleasing.

(Scroll Down to The End… For The Ian.)

My God! But Joni is an Angel!

(Have I ever Mentioned HOW MUCH I LOVE HER?!)

*************

I know I have posted these words/sentiments of mine before.

But,

But Justin Case some of Y’all didn’t read.

Or Could Never Be Bothered Enough to Notice,

I say them Once Again:

“I enjoy ‘Entertainers.’

I enjoy being ‘Entertained’

By People who know how.

To Entertain.

Do I give a Fuck about their Politics?

Or Which Gender of the month they embrace?

Or Their Personal Lives?

Or How many times their fame and fortune allowed them to say stupid shit?

Or how many under-age Lolitas they fucked during their misspent youth?”

Or How Many Times They Have Been To Rehab?”

I can answer all of the above questions.

Succinctly.

With Just One Word:

“NO.”

As Promised Above:

Between the lines of photographs,

I’ve seen the past
It isn’t pleasing

I do not feel a sudden urge to credit the artist.

I you have ever ‘read’ me, you already know.

******

And if you be new here, welcome aboard!

Welcome Aboard The Insane Train!

Now, will you kindly surrender your ticket?

Please?

******

Last and final thought:

Bobby Darin was/is ‘The King of Cool.’

Forever!

Street Cred: Cannot find him/Her

Get Back Mack!

“Oh Lord! It’s Hard to be Humble.”

(When You’re Me!)

My Mind Has Left the Building! Bye Bye Mind! Happy Trails! (And Once Again: Word-Depressed Screwed Up My Edit!) “Hey WordPress Go GET Wrecked!”

******

“Look What They Done To My Brain”

Street Cred for Vid: amonem

******

Fuck You Bob!

(Ed Note: This Post is Becoming more and more about Melanie, and less and less about Dylan. My Original intent was to do a Dylan Bit. I Got Distracted)

The more I discover about this woman, the more I fall in fantasy love with her.

She is so fucking charming.

She captivates and fascinates.

My God! But she is a beautiful woman!
“Mel, why did I NOT ever run into you?

I would have roo’d/woo’d you.”
(Or tried to)

Street Cred for Vid: Navegantadelanave

*****

Would have given my best shot anyhow. (Such as that would’ve been at the time–my attention span was brief, but for you, I would have taken my time.

And worked ‘The Problem’ I had with my infatuation)

“I wish I could find a good book to live in.”

–Melanie

(Actually I have one. It is entitled “The Complete Works of Shakespeare.”) I am gonna live there.

Current state of “Lance Mind:”

****

Hollis Brown

He lived on the outside of town

Hollis Brown

He lived on the outside of town

With his wife and five children

And his cabin fallin’ down

You looked for work and money

And you walked a rugged mile

You looked for work and money

And you walked a rugged mile

Your children are so hungry

That they don’t know how to smile

Your baby’s eyes look crazy

They’re a-tuggin’ at your sleeve

Your baby’s eyes look crazy

They’re a-tuggin’ at your sleeve

You walk the floor and wonder why

With every breath you breathe

The rats have got your flour

Bad blood it got your mare

The rats have got your flour

Bad blood it got your mare

If there’s anyone that knows

Is there anyone that cares?

You prayed to the Lord above

Oh please send you a friend

You prayed to the Lord above

Oh please send you a friend

Your empty pockets tell yuh

That you ain’t a-got no friend

Your babies are crying louder

It’s pounding on your brain

Your babies are crying louder

It’s pounding on your brain

Your wife’s screams are stabbin’ you

Like the dirty drivin’ rain

Your grass it is turning black

There’s no water in your well

Your grass is turning black

There’s no water in your well

You spent your last lone dollar

On seven shotgun shells

Way out in the wilderness

A cold coyote calls

Way out in the wilderness

A cold coyote calls

Your eyes fix on the shotgun

That’s hangin’ on the wall

Your brain is a-bleedin’

And your legs can’t seem to stand

Your brain is a-bleedin’

And your legs can’t seem to stand

Your eyes fix on the shotgun

That you’re holdin’ in your hand

There’s seven breezes a-blowin’

All around the cabin door

There’s seven breezes a-blowin’

All around the cabin door

Seven shots ring out

Like the ocean’s pounding roar

There’s seven people dead

On a South Dakota farm

There’s seven people dead

On a South Dakota farm

Somewhere in the distance

There’s seven new people born

****

I still hang onto hope for humanity.

Just a little humanity.

I Am Livid! (And I am LMFAO! Because No One Is Gonna Get Within A Mile of This Post! Fukking Cowards!) Still Laughing! And here I thought Y’all were made of ‘Sterner Stuff!’ Guess I was misinformed! Hahahahaha!

I just finished watching Sleepy Joe Biden Bang on and on and on about

The Fucking Kenny-Dies

Fucking Kennedys!

Caint Stop Laughing at Their Joke

Which at the time was on Us:

The U.S. of Us!

Vid Cred: Next of Ken

***

And All they “did” for

Civil Rights!

BULLSHITE!

JFK was so inept he could not even get a pay raise through Congress—For Congressmen! LMFAO!

Lest we forget:

It was LBJ

Who pushed that Civil Rights legislation down the throat of Congress!

Fuck did the Kenny-Dees ever do for us???

Promise the Fuckin’Moon?

***

Bay of Piglets?

***

Dead Girl in Chappaquiddick?

Fucking MORON!

***

Mary Jo Kopechne

Rest in Peace Beautiful Young Lady

And This SHIT SAD STORY Just Repeating Itself!

***

JF-Fucking Kay Didn’t do shit!

Except fuck Marilyn Monroe!

(And Probably Had Her Murdered)

***

His ONLY Claim to Fame!

Did Fuckin’ Sleepy Joe even mention LBJ??

No Fucking Way!

What a stupid asshole we have in OUR White Mouse House!

I am gonna loosely quote Molly Ivins here if she were still with us

On Joe Biden:

“If you put that man’s brain in a bumble bee it would fly backwards.”

***

I am so fucking pissed right now!

Can you tell?

Thank God For Lee Harvey Oswald!

(And Crew)

BANG! BANG! ASSHOLE!

WELCOME TO TEXAS!

Fun Fact: My Step-Mother Worked For Jack Ruby

I harbor NO LOVE for Kennedys

Does it show?

***

This is Good

Not Great

But Worth your time

Trust me

I’m With The Government!

Hahahahaha!

Content Creator Cred: MrBettsClass

The Joke Is On Me (And On You–For Even Being Here) Broadcast News

Facebook Post:
Good morning!
I am feeling somewhat “normal” today.
Trying to stay two steps ahead of the neck pain.
Taking lots of Ibuprofen and booze.
Put MS Muse Out of my Misery.
But I miss her already.
I just may have a life after all.
Or not.
“O, that way madness lies; let me shun that;
No more of that.”
—King Lear, Act 3, Scene 4
Too heavy?
Fuck with me?
You’ll get what you fucking deserve.
Love,
Lance…
The NSA Are on Their Way!

“Hey! Hey! NSA! On The Way!
(Ditto the Local Cops!)
“Surround the House!”
“Madman Inside!”
“Be careful Boys!”
“Let’s Take Him Down…”
“But Quietly.”
“No Muss. No Fuss.”

*****

Do not Fuck with Me!

I will not Hesitate to Empty a Clip Into Your Dome.

MS Muse– Miss Misery:

Feel Free To Conduct A Search

For ‘Abusive Muse.’

There you may find happiness.

******

BONUS MATERIAL BELOW

Crit-After-My-Own-Heart-Drinker-Man!

If you do not watch this, or appreciate this…

Your Loss

Credit: Crit Drinker

Assholes ‘R’ Us!



Some asshole just emailed me:

(Yes My email Addy is ‘Public’)

I have No Fear!

Feel Free!

‘lancemarcom781@gmail.com’

**************

I quote her:

“We” (Really?  ‘We?—whois ‘We’?)

She continued,

“We are sick to death of reading about your dead sister! STFU!”

Of course I could NOT let this go.

I had to respond.

And I did,

“Dear ‘We’,” I began.

“I have myriad words for you:

Please allow me to break them down into simple numerical form, so that your feeble mind may process & and maybe even digest:

  1. Fuck you
  2. Fuck you
  3. There is a ‘Feature’ that most Computer Mice have: It is called: ‘Scroll Down.’
  4. There is yet another, more recent Social Media Feature: it is moniker’d, “Ignore.” Try it. And if it don’t work for you, Call Mark Fuckle-Berg.
  5. Do NOT Call me! I will hurt your Soy-Based–Feelings.
  6. You do realize you are attempting to ‘Flame a Writer?’
  7. A writer possessed of a rapier wit.
  8. And a veteran of more ‘Flame Wars’ than you can even imagine in your wildest dreams?
  9. Here is a Clue
  10. And A Nickel
  11. 1st The Clue: ‘You are Clueless.’
  12. Now The Nickel: Go Sit & Spin on top of a Dildo.
  13.  Until it turns you into a ‘Happy- Slut.’
  14.  Have a Day—A Nice One.
  15. Love, Lance”

Cheers!

**************

Just some Small-Mindless

Added Value:

Cornelia an’ Lance–Drunk–Basra, Iraq, Circa …

I forget.

Circa sometime.

(Probably in the past: not tomorrow…)

Credit: moronbrothersKY

(I love SOUTHERN!–Ever have I mentioned this?)

********

Yeah! I am Drunk!

Sue me!

The line forms to The Right!

Take a Number!

Good Luck!

Bonne chance!

Had to Drop some Francaise.

Forgot the “Joni”

Maybe Next Time….

No!

Need Some Joni up in here!

“Save Paradise!”

(Or Just Pave it Over and Call it a Day.)

I’ve looked at ‘Lance’

From

From Both Sides Now.

Neither One Was Pleasing.

(Scroll Down to The End… For The Ian.)

*************

I know I have posted these words/sentiments of mine before.

But,

But Justin Case some of Y’all didn’t read.

Or Could Never Be Bothered Enough to Notice,

I say them Once Again:

“I enjoy ‘Entertainers.’

I enjoy being ‘Entertained’

By People who know how.

To Entertain.

Do I give a Fuck about their Politics?

Or Which Gender of the month they embrace?

Or Their Personal Lives?

Or How many times their fame and fortune allowed them to say stupid shit?

Or how many under-age Lolitas they fucked during their misspent youth?”

Or How Many Times They Have Been To Rehab?”

I can answer all of the above questions.

Succinctly.

With Just One Word:

“NO.”

As Promised Above:

Between the lines of photographs,

I’ve seen the past
It isn’t pleasing

I do not feel a sudden urge to credit the artist.

I you have ever ‘read’ me, you already know.

******

And if you be new here, welcome aboard!

Welcome Aboard The Insane Train!

Now, will you kindly surrender your ticket?

Please?

******

Last and final thought:

Bobby Darin was/is ‘The King of Cool.’

Forever!

Street Cred: Cannot find him/Her

“Oh Lord! It’s Hard to be Humble.”

Lance Looks in the Mirror

First time in some years…

(Risky, Dangerous Enterprise? Yes?!)

Casually regards the visage staring back at him.

“Something’s missing,” he says.

Dons DEVO hat.

Yeah!

Hell yeah!

That’s the “Look!”

********

“Maternity Flight Suits????”

Joe? Really?

I never watched the movie, “G.I. Jane”

(Because it was a farce and insulted the Navy SEAL program), but… come on Man!”

“Maternity Flight Suits????”

***********

(Maybe it is time for me to give ‘G.I. Jane’ a second chance. Cannot possibly be worse than the garbage coming down the pike these days.)

*******

I died along the way.

But at least I showed up.

Twice

*************

This post is in desperate need of some

‘Joni’

To talk me down off that ledge

I have found me Precariously placed on…

(or is it ‘upon’?)

Which is the ‘proper’ word?

Ask me how many fucks I give.

I write; therefore I Yam!

Just call me ‘Popeye!’

************

Vid Cred: jmms429

Song credit: Who do you think?