I am nuts—Cray-Cray—But I have discovered Someone Even More Nuts Than Me.

Aubrey Plaza.

I love her.
She is insane (In That Good Way)
*****

Funny How it has taken me so long to swerve into her…
But I am here now. Wholly on-Board with her quirkiness and her cray-cray
‘Better late than never’ I suppose.
“Lucky for you Aubrey, that I am an old Fuk, otherwise, I would be stalking you.”
With a heart-felt and relentless passion

PAIN IN THE NECK

Video Credit: ABKCOVEVO

*******

So I woke up few days ago with excruciating pain in my neck.

I immediately attributed this to the dream I had been having about THE MOST FLAGRANT Pain-in-my-neck I had ever experienced:

MY LAST WIFE

She was ALWAYS A PAIN IN MY NECK

I left her.

She was also a PAIN IN THE ASS

I FINALLY left her.

Happily I did not wake up with a Pain in My Ass:

Thank God for Tender Mercies:

(Probably could not have dealt with the “Double-Whammy.”)

No, the excruciating pain in my neck t’would serve well enough.

And it was horrible: debilitating.

I did not know whether to shit or go blind, or commit suicide.

That is HOW PAINFUL it was.

Tried to knock it back with booze

BC Powder

Advil

No Dice.

I suffered for three days.

Now, those of you  who are faithful readers of this Blog-Oh-Mine know that I am no pussy: I went to

Navy SEAL Training:

Twice.

But this PAIN was kicking my ass.

Then my platonic  Girl Friend of thirty some-odd years FedExed me a heating pad.

This helped and the pain began to subside.

I still cannot move my neck properly, but most of the PAIN has left the building.

“What a drag it is getting old.”

Sometimes you just bend over or pour a beer or pick up an errant sock and something breaks in your body. For no logical, discernable  reason.

I suppose it is called “Old Age.”

Sucks.

Really sucks.

Is this how it is to end for me?

Coming unraveled and dying, just by picking up a sock off the floor?

******

Some Added Value Below (Because My aim is to entertain My Readers)

And not waste your valuable finite time.

Here is a PSA: DO NOT FUCK WITH ME

Some youngish Black Bitch knocked upon my door (at zero four)
Probably a whore
“Are you alright?” she asked. “I heard something.” (Which is Bullshit)
“Well, what did you hear?” I asked. She just rolled her eyes and walked away.
These ppl don’t know who they are attempting to fuck with: I’m crazy (and dangerous)
And I am packing: Big Hard Iron and Soft Lead. Which I will be more than happy to deposit into your head.. IF you are dumb enuff to fuck with me.
And trust me: I am a damn good shot. I never miss my intended target.

More Shit That Makes Me Happy

Maybe it will make you happy too

Related

Credit: Pharrell Williams

Credit: Sam O’Nella

You gots to be mo’ careful:

Credit: Sam O’Nella

Credit: Sam O’Nella

Emmylou is so drop-dead beautiful (and so ‘feisty’ in this performance. I love love LOVE her!)

Linda goes to Mars and leaves her mind behind.

(I can certainly relate)

One More from Beautiful Emmylou:

Best lyric from this song:
“It ain’t no time for lengthy speeches.”

Or this one: “There ain’t no way to stop the water”

(It’s a ‘photo finish.’)

Such a wonderful song. I love you Emmylou!

FUCK YOU CNN!

Come on CNN!

Why do you keep running the same shit on a loop?

This ‘Anti-Trump’ shit.

There is ‘Real News’ happening all over the world:

Southeast Asia

India

South America

Somalia

Waco

(Joke, by the way. Nothing ever happens in Waco–well once something happened, but that is ancient history–Waco got over it. And migrated back to their main mundane.)

Report The NEWS! CNN!

You used to be a ‘real’ news network.

(Thirty  some-odd years ago)

Now you are just shit-can GARBAGE.