I Love To Laugh (at me) And My Chasing at Sobriety
“Hey Lance! What would you do if you ever caught the Sobriety Bus?”
“Burn my nose on the tail-pipe–I don’t know–haven’t thought it through.”
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(Ed. Note: The Bob Marley Vid ain’t Necessary, nor requisite. But I find it a ‘Nice Touch.’ Watch it if you want. Don’t if you don’t.)
“Totally ”Down-Stroyed'” I love a play on words!
(When it works…)
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So I discover a small lake in my ‘Head’—Bathroom. “Whatever does this mean?” I asked the Resident Gnat Watch-keeper. “You’re the Fucking Genius, Tell Us.” he replied.
I scoped it out.
Sure as shit, The Shitter was leaking out of its ass. I closed the water supply, emptied the basin, found some towels, threw same upon the floor. Went back to my neglected beer.
Then came a knocking upon my door… “Mister Marcom, is there a leak in your bathroom? Water water everywhere in this hall.” Deb said. I replied, “Uh, Yeah, but I fixed it.”
(Don’t want no trouble)
Deb said, “I’ll send Cynthia around to check it out. My ‘Guy’ isn’t here today.”
(Shit!)
Presently, My Love, My Cynthia, arrives.
“How you doin’ Baby?” (She always calls me ‘Baby’—It is a ‘Black Woman Thing’)
“I’m Fine Baby.”
(I can do ‘Black Woman’ vernacular too)
“Y’all got a leak?” “Yeah, it’s the toilet, but I ‘fixed’ it. Turned off the water and emptied it.” “So, you need a new toilet?” “I suppose.” “Okay Baby. Tomorrow…” “Cheers Baby. And Thank you. Ciou”
And she left.
Now I have something to look forward to: Some smelly fat white-guy Plumber invading my Sanatorium to replace my toilet and displace what little concentration I have left.
(As an Old–Fat, Smelly White Guy Myself–I know far too well, the Breed, and what to expect.)
There are no less than thirty empty wine boxes in my head. Curious as to how ‘Plumber Man’ will deal with them…
ShareCredit: Y’all Enjoy Thanks to Kevin Bacon (Yeah, that actor dude) Yeah, we’re FB Buds. Hahahahah!Someone put a lot of time and effort into constructing this vid; wish I could give proper credit. Alas..
Ed. Note: (At the beginning. Yes, not ‘conventional’)
But if you do not watch the videos, you are wasting your time here.
Street Share Vid Cred: kingofkungfu2002
Original Creators (I Think): Mike Stock, Pete Waterman, Matt Aitken Fuk it. I tried.
*****
I am usually met with success. (Because I am persistent) ‘Happiness’ is a choice. A Conscious Choice. You can choose to be happy. You can choose to be sad. It is your choice. Not saying that it is always easy,
To find Happy.
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Just had to:
Jennifer!
Maniac!
Captured my Heart all-over-again!
Frequently you must search it out. Shit! Sometimes even I have to look under the bed In the ‘head.’ –Navy Vernacular Under The Couch. Under The Grouch But I always find it: Happiness. Like the Vid at the top of this post—That made me happy.
I searched it out.
(Found it Buried in my instant messages and behind my fridge–but I found it–finally.)
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I hope you do too.
Find ‘Happy’
Live Happy
Cheers!
(Confession Time: The only reason this post even exists is to serve as a vehicle for the marvelous dance videos at the top. Feel free to ignore all my preachy bullshit prose and just enjoy the videos. Hahahahaha)
“I should not talk so much about myself if there were anybody else whom I knew as well.”
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods
(Ed. Note: This Post has kinda Gone off the Rails & morph’d into an Annie Lennox bit)
Sorry. Not Sorry.
Scroll Down
In most things Politic, I list heavily to Starboard. But at other times I list slightly to Port.
My Ship Never straddles
The ‘Safe’ Middle.
I am ‘Complicated.’ As are all ‘Thinking People.’
I am delirious with pain right now.
Ignore me. Wish I had some of the ‘good’ drugs…
Ed. Note: I know I have promised BOTH of My Faithful Readers to write some longer, better, substantial Shit, But This Screwed-up neck of mine, along with the accompanying pain makes it almost unbearable to bend over this ‘IBM Selectric’ Typewriter
C’est Moi!
for more than a few minutes at a time.
Now, returning to the subject meat of this matter,
(“More Matter, Less Art.”–Thank you Gertrude)
Was there a ‘subject’ ?? Oh Yeah. Right vs. Left Spy vs. Spy Yin vs. Yang Peas vs. Carrots Madness
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My Adventure in trying to get published:
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Footnote:
I forgot I had left a glass of wine in the ‘head’ (Navy parlance for ‘Bathroom’); now I have a platoon of
We had a ‘Homemade’ Desert House–Band—Rockers ALL!
They called their Band:
‘The Sisco Ducks’
Which of course was a play on words for
‘Disco Sucks.’
(We were all drug addicts back then)
We smoked hashish for breakfast, lunch, supper, and night-cap. Ever’day!
Next day, rinse and repeat.
And the days just kept drifting on by….
They didn’t have names….
(Street Cred for the Vid: Parrothead Poet)
We smoked hash, because we could not buy proper Mary-Ya-Wanna; but….
But… we could purchase BRICKS of Hash in Cairo… on-the-cheap:
Ten bucks or a bottle of Johnny-Walker Red would net us two kilos of ‘Hubbily Bubbilyyy,’ as the Egyptians called it.
******
I ‘secretly’ Loved Disco, but that had to remain my dirty little secret.
Lest I be forced to ‘Walk the Plank’— And since we lived in a desert and had no planks to walk, I felt relatively ‘safe.’
But I had a REP to uphold and maintain…
You see?
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Fun Fact: I used to BLAST this
(See Above Donna)
from my 80’s boom-box while in my Barracks room.
(In the NAVY)
My Barracks-Mate was NOT a fan, of Donna and often complained.
Guess what I told him.
You already know:
I invited him to fisty-cuffs.
He declined my generous offer.
So I put in fresh batteries…. and Cranked Donna up the the level of hearing loss…
“Asshole” does not even begin to describe… cannot even begin to approach what I was back then…
(Or Now, for that matter)
Not that it matters,
As if I gave or will ever give…. a shit.
(Oh! and I smoked Cowboy Killers in the room too—This Pussy bitched, moaned, and complained about this too…said it made his clothes ‘stink’)
Now here is something that may surprise you:
My Barracks ‘Shipmate’ was forced into his Naval Enlistment…. drum roll! Please!
Because at the ripe old age of 18, he had killed a man in New Jersey.
(Once he confided that, I grew more respectful and started wearing headphones for my Donna Sessions…)
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This (below) should’ve been at the top of my post, but I am too drunk to edit.
***
And I do not enjoy anything about the editing process
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When I was at SFM, during ‘The Disco Agony Epoch, we had a ‘Homemade’ Band—Rockers ALL!
They called their Band: ‘The Sisco Ducks’
Which of course was a play on words for ‘Disco Sucks.’
I ‘secretly’ Loved Disco, but that had to remain my dirty little secret.
Lest I be forced to ‘Walk the Plank’— And since we lived in a desert and had no planks to walk, I felt relatively ‘safe.’ But I had a REP to uphold…You see?
Fun Fact: I used to BLAST this from my 80’s boom-box while in my Barracks room.
(In the NAVY)
My Barracks-Mate was NOT a fan, of Donna and often complained. Guess what I told him.
You already know:
I invited him to fisty-cuffs. He declined my generous offer.
So I put in fresh batteries…. and Cranked Donna up the the level of hearing loss…
“Asshole’ can not even begin to approach what I was back then…
(Or Now, for that matter)
Not that it matters,
Or if I gave/give a shit.
***********
I May come back/revisit this post, edit it, try to improve it.
But do not bet on it!
Save your money for Vegas.
The Odds Are Better.
Trust me on This One Y’all.
***
Bukowski and I are on the same page here:
“Fuck Editing!”
Just WRITE!!!
Street Cred: Shea
******
Don’t Worry Kids!
I will survive this brief lapse into Madness
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Just Some More FB fun :
I posted while fawning over Gloria Gaynor:
I am STUPID!
Attempted to download this (Gloria) two more times than were ‘necessary’.
Kept getting ‘POP-Ups.’
“Hey! Asshole! You have already downloaded this…like seventeen times!”
Guess What I did? Called CS back!
On the Fucking Telephone!
(Can you even Imagine?)
Indian Customer Support.
Told me to fuk the fuk the off!
And sleep it off!
Wise Advice!
I love Black Women!
They are
Strong!
They have to be!
Namaste!
Y’all!
****
“Ground Control to Major Mar-Come – On:”
“Yes?”
“This is Ground-Control.”
“Yeah. I figured that out already. Y’all are the only assholes who ever call me. Fuk do you want?”
“Take your protein pills and put your helmet on.”
“Something you’re not telling me? Something I should know?”
“Just take the pills and put the helmet on…. and strap in…..
