(Please Just Watch All The Videos I Stole) Great News! Bill Just Released A New Video! Now I Am In The Middle Of My Happy-Lance-Break-Dance! “The Genius That is Bill Wurtz”

History of the Entire World, I Guess:

(There’s A Bit of A Long Pause At The Beginning;

Please Be Patient Grasshopper)

***

“The Happy Lance Break Dance”

****

And Yes

You’ll Have To Scroll Down A Mite For

The Rest Of The Videos

But Use Caution:

Mites Can Be Damn Slippery, Sneaky, Stealthy Little Bastards

And Trust Me On This One Kids:

You Don’t Want A ‘Mite-Bite’ On Yer Ass

***

WARNING!

This Post Has Been Greatly Expanded

Perhaps I got ‘Slightly’ Carried Away

“I’m a huge gamer most of the time”

New! New! New!

Yay!

***

Yet Another ‘New’ One I Failed to Notice Until Now.

‘Tis A ‘Red Letter Day’ For me

“Life’s Simple Pleasures”

It Doesn’t Take Much To Make Me Happy These Days

I’m Scared

****

“Ball & Stick”

My Man Bill!

History of Bill Wurtz, I Guess | A Brief History

****

The Brilliance That is Bill Wurtz:

https://www.youtube.com/user/billwurtz

I posted this on my Facebook Page.

(Ed. Note: I Nuked My Face-Dork Account Months Ago)

For my Friends to Enjoy, but

It may have been over Some of their Heads.

(Or maybe no one has time anymore to invest in watching something of quality—twenty second sound bites is what they want…)

Now, I am not being arrogant.

Nor pompous.

Ok, maybe just a little bit pompous,

But,

Personally I have the attention Span of a Drunk Gnat

And

Am ‘Mostly’ Harmless

Mostly

YET,

Some things are Worth the Time Invested.

“If the World Doesn’t End”

“More Than A Dream”

****

“History of the Entire World”

(I Guess)

La Crème de la crème:

Note:

Long Pause in This One.

Be Patient.

I Think Bill Did it For

‘Creative Effect’

Or Perhaps As A Test of Your

Attention Span

And Undying Need For

‘Instant Gratification’

I know ‘Cause I’m The

Worst ‘Instant Gratification Culprit’ I know

“Uh…. I have posted some of this man’s work before…

But no one ‘watched’ (Uhhhh, Their FB Loss)

Watch this one. It is for ‘thinking’ peeps (as are the others)

(Some ‘Good-Natured’ Profanity)

                    ***                            

I try to ‘share’ things that are thought provoking and relevant and entertaining.

But, what the hell, right? You can only beat a dead horse so long before it falls apart and becomes disgusting.

                                                  ***

I shoot high.

Sometimes I shoot low.

Sometimes I hit.

Sometimes I miss.

But I always shoot.

From The Hip

And always with good intent.

Never malice.

I just want folks to enjoy some of the things that enrich my life.

And maybe even enrich yours.

“9-8-7”

*****

Thank You

Drive Through

-Lance

Bonus Track:

History of Japan

Bonus Bonus Track:

Interview

BONUS BONUS BONUS TRACKS:

“Mount St. Helens is About to Blow Up”

Sorry, Couldn’t Resist.

Jimmy Buffett – ‘Volcano’ Live:

****

“First Day of School”

***

“At The Corner Store”

****

“Fly Around”

*****

“Here Comes The Sun”

*****

“I Just Did A Bad Thing”

****

“Wild Frolicking Adventures of Informational Education”

****

“Got Some Money”

****

“Christmas Isn’t Real”

*****

“Slow Down”

*****

“Soap Tips”

****

When I Get Older”

*****

“Maybe I Could Eat Blades of Grass”

*****

“At The Airport Terminal”


****

“Long Long Long Journey

*****

Sorry Kiddos, But I Felt ‘Compelled’ to Resurrect This One: “Hooray For Hollywood?! Wish I Could… Still Give Two Shits. Yet The Magic Has Gone. Long Gone. So Long! So Wrong!”

And Sorry in advance for any screw-ups in my ‘editorial’ process, but I find blogging becoming more and more problematic for my age-befuddled mind.

Street Cred for Vid: kherrick90

I LOVE MY AMERICA!

“Let’s Us Go On With The Show”

Credit: TOPPOP: Star sistersP.S.,

I, Me-Thinks These Gals Are All The Same Broad:

Christina Aguilera

“Any barmaid can be a star-made”

*******

Hey Film Buffs!
This (Below) is Required Watching!

Right On!

Spot On!

Dead On!

Thank YOU! Critical Drinker Man!

You Nailed My Same Same Sentiment!

Visit Crit Drinker Here Below:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSJPFQdZwrOutnmSFYtbstA

The Genesis of all this Bullshit

(Thank You? Marlon???)

*****

And No!
I also did NOT watch ‘The Oscars’ on My Tee-Vee Either.

I had Something Better to Do!

Like Picking The Lint Outta My Belly-Button.

(Which Was More Gratifying & Satisfying)

******

Golden Age
Lost Now–Magic Has Gone
Never Get It Back
That Ship Has Sailed
Out-of-Sight
Missing Somewhere Over That Recent Rainbow…

My father used to tell a great story about some university asshole who was trying to impress him:

Dude said,

“The reason Wizard of Oz was in Black and White was because in the beginning, 1939, they really did not have color film.”

Daddy replied, “That is fascinating. I suppose when Dorothy got back to Kansas, they had lost that technology, as it went back to black and white.”

Come On!

Get Happy!!

For those who don’t know, Judy stole the ‘Sinatra Look’ (and his hat) Fun fact. Just my observation….

Goddamn! But she was sexy!

What a Dame!

Judy! Judy! Judy!

***


I Love DAMES!

Just Cannot Help it.

******

No Business Like Show Business….
Adding-dumb Dumb da Dumb

I miss my Daddy; He loved Old Movies.

(As Do I)

Entertain Me!

Thank You!

You Did!

***

Summer Stock (1950) Official Trailer – Judy Garland, Gene Kelly

Cred for Share: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/

******

Bonus’esses

Excesses???

(Again: Bring Your Own Dresses)

It’s Silly and Stupid

(But Rather Endearing):

*****

I love My Oh So Rich American Culture–I Ain’t Rich, but surely you know what I mean.

I love my excesses

Bring your own dresses

*****

Am I gay?

No!

No Way!

I don’t Play that way.

(I just Color outside the lines.)

I LOVE This Movie! The Reasons Should Be Blatantly Obvious! And To Quote Forrest: “That’s All I’m Gonna Say About That.”

I Have Started (And Re-Started) This Movie Five Times, But I Cannot Get Thru It…

Why? You May Rightfully Ask.

Because I Have The Attention Span Of A Drunken Gnat–

Sad, But True.

***

Seriously (Not Seriously) Related:

Read More About It Below

(If’n Ya Wanna, That Is)

***

Useless Information From Your Humble Author/Thief:

The Philadelphia Experiment is a 1984 American science fiction film. It is directed by Stewart Raffill and stars Michael ParéBobby Di CiccoKene Holliday and Nancy Allen and based on the urban legend of the Philadelphia Experiment. In 1943, United States Navy sailors David Herdeg (Paré) and Jim Parker (Di Cicco) are thrown forward in time to the year 1984 when a scientific experiment being performed aboard the USS Eldridge suffers a catastrophe. The film follows the two men as they attempt to survive the future and race against time to put an end to the experiment that now threatens the fate of the entire world.

Michelle, My Belle (I Wished!)

“Michelle, ma belle.  These are words that go together well. My Michelle”:

This is a ‘teaser’ for something I am currently working.

(‘Tis an expanding part of my “Great Mistakes Naval Training Center” Nascent Series)

Remember

The Marine”?

The Little Blonde One?

Of Course you do!

This will be way better.

Believe me?

Good.

I have this bridge for sale; kindly follow me into the ‘Showroom.’

We’ll talk ‘Price’ later…

For now, just gape, gasp, and be awestruck.

And Remember Kids: I don’t do fiction.

All my ‘stories’ are bona-fide.

Continued Here:

Video Credit: Starr’s Music

**********

Anyone ever notice that Paul McCartney can’t speak French for Shit?

“Me Shell… My Bell”

Really Paul?

Please stick to English Paul.

And this from a Texan who destroys French with a Texan accent.

“Mercy Bow Chops Y’all!”

(OK. Not that bad, but almost)

I have been perma-banished from Paris… France.

They still welcome me in Paris, Texas.

Thank God!

Yeah. Still Re-Shit-Posting Shite–My Dream Girl–I Was Born too Late. Or Perhaps Too Early–I Have Actually For Real Deal–Lived-This ‘Anybody Got A Match?–Scene” Believe it, Or Don’t. I Do Not Give a Fuk!

And, Oh, BTW, My Key-Board Is Beginning To Irritate Me. He said Whilst Causally Studyin’/Regarding The Un-Opened Window,,, And Ponderin’ What A Lovely Sound My Key-Board Would Make, As It hit the GROUND….

And Yes, Dear Fred,”My Mind Is Properly Fuk-ed.”

I May Have Some ‘Splainin’ to do. (Yeah. I Am A Film Nerd/Snob–Live Over It, Or Just Go Away!)

“Lucy, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do!” Perhaps the most infamous and viciously debated line on the internet, this oft-quoted and memed Ricky Ricardo line is more of a paraphrase, as he never says this exactly. He said things like, “Lucy, ‘splain,” or “‘Splain that if you can,” which evolved into this misquote.

Cred: (I Think) https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=%27splainin%27%20to%20do

Oh Screw it! I Tried!

Author’s Note: I Have COMPLETELY Fuck’d Up This Post.

Sorry Fred

“Memory Lane: Yeah! I Am Still Drunk Outta My Brain. I LOVE Lauren Bacall! That’s ALL!–My ‘Dream-Lover’

“Anybody got a Match?”

Bobby Darin “Dream Lover”

Cred for share: NRRArchives

Bertie Higgins – “Key Largo”

Starring in Our Own Late, Late Show–

Just Like They did…

In “Key Largo

Lauren Bacall’s Original Name:

Betty Joan Perske

“Anybody got a match?”
Yeah, I got a match:
Bogie and Bacall.

I have ‘swerved’ once more into Lauren ‘Bacal’ (Jewish spelling of her name before Hollywood COERCED her into changing it) and Bogie whirlwind of late.

****

Lauren Bacall, who died Tuesday (Aug. 12) at 89, had mixed feelings about her Jewishness. In “By Myself,” her autobiography, (Which I have read, cover to cover–twice)) she wrote that she “felt totally Jewish and always would,” yet chided herself for not being more open about her Jewish identity.

Below, five facts about Lauren Bacall’s Jewish life and — in her own words — how she felt to be Jewish:She was born Betty Joan Perske.

Bacall was born in Brooklyn to a Jewish family, but her Jewish-sounding name just wouldn’t cut it in the Hollywood of the 1940s and ‘50s. She changed it to a version of her mother’s family name, Weinstein-Bacal.

“It was a period when people believed that you demonstrated your Americanization by Americanizing your name, and very frequently, Americanizing your nose,” said Jonathan Sarna, professor of American Jewish history at Brandeis University.

“She did not hide the fact that she had these Jewish origins, but it was expected in Hollywood at the time that you would have an American name and persona,” he added.

***

Fun Fact:

I once wrote a term paper for the head of the English Department at ETSU. Unbeknownst to me, he was writing an autobiography on Humphrey Bogart at the time. Had I known this, I most probably would not have written my term paper on Bogie and Becall.

But then again, I probably would have anyhow….

And I received an A++ on my paper.

My Prof loved it. Probably ’cause he was a Russian Jew.

Or Maybe not.

It was a great paper.

And he loved it.

(Of course I was drunk when I wrote it)

Took me all of 45 minutes to write.

That is how I ‘rolled’ back then.

Always waited until the very last ‘minuet…’

Bogie was forty-five when he met Bacal.

She was nineteen.

Perhaps there is hope for me yet…

Bogie an’ Baby

If there is just one thing the Navy taught me, it is this:

“No never means no”

“Nothing is ‘written’.”

This is how I got back into SEAL training when I was two years too old…

***

Oh

My

God!

She was / is so beautiful!

“We Played All The Parts”

I Will Forever LOVE Her!

She Enriched My Life So Much!

She Was A Delight To Behold!

And to Dream Of

***

One last ‘fun fact.’

In her book, Lauren described how she came up with

“The Look.”

She recounted of how she was so nervous…

when she played along side Bogie, she had to keep her chin tucked into her chest to keep from shaking uncontrollably.

She also tells the story of how the director, Howard Hawks told her she would have to sing in the movie.

She was mortified.

Lauren cannot sing.

She knew this.

But she did it anyway…

It was in the script.

And she was charming.

***

So Charming!

So Fukkin Charming!

Great article. link below:

https://www.biography.com/news/humphrey-bogart-lauren-bacall-relationship-marriage?fbclid=IwAR29mwY13msWcV5Sa5zof3mvbl-Lopb1AbsIYVx_QBGWABi5ItfIV1oGapY

Must watch this below.

It relates!

Here is a clue

And some Nickles:

To Have and Have Not

This (below) is for film buffs

Do NOT Watch if You’re Not

Such

***

NO!

MUST WATCH!

***

Had to Add:

Street Cred for Vid: Somewheremaybe

I’ve Had such a wonderfully rich, fulfilling, Rewarding Life

Truly, I’ve been Blessed

In Spite of being an Atheist.

Go Figger

Perhaps There is a God After-All

Y’all?

Re-Werk’d, Re-Twerk’d With–All My Might! As I, You, ‘Liked’ It (Sorry Will). Boohoo For Hollywood! Hahaha!

Hollywood! Joke on Three Wheels! And One’s Flat. Splat! Most of Today’s ‘Contemporary’ Films Make Me Wanna… N/M–Y’all Already Know.

I am so Pissed Off Right Now!

Not Really Pissed,

For, As Y’all Know,

I LOVE FILM–GOOD FILM!

Louise Brooks: Original “It Girl”

I Have NO Idea Who This Is, But I LOVE Her!

And I Shall Forever Remain A

‘Cock-Eyed Optimist’

Credit: Mitzi Gaynor

What Choice Do I Have?

(As I Watch Our American Film Culture Go To Shite?)

Crit Drinker is

So Much More Eloquent & Intelligent Than Me.

https://www.youtube.com/c/TheCriticalDrinker

An’ He Ain’t Even ‘Murican!’

Yet, Perhaps There is HOPE On The Event-Horizon

After-All?

We Did Not Invent The Art But We Perfected The Art And Then We Glued Stars and Stripes All Over it. Took Our ‘Road-Show’ On The Road! Envy of The Entire World!

Gave It Away For Free

Then What Happened?

We Shite All Over It!

In the Name of

‘WOKE!’

Makes Me Want To Throw-Up In My Mouth!

But, We’ll See…

I Just Don’t know, But

It Breaks My Heart On So Many Levels,

It Is Impossible To Enumerate

All The Reasons Why

***

My Diatribe Not-With-Standing: I Remain Forever

Optimistic

Madonna – You’ll See (Official Video)

***

Days of Futures Past Over?

Street Cred for Vid: kherrick90

I LOVE MY AMERICA!

“Let’s Us Go On With The Show”

Credit: TOPPOP: Star sisters

“Any barmaid can be a star-made”

*******

Hey Film Buffs!
This (Below) is Required Watching!

Right On!

Spot On!

Dead On!

Thank YOU! Critical Drinker Man!

You Nailed My Same Same Sentiment!

Visit Crit Drinker Here Below:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSJPFQdZwrOutnmSFYtbstA

The Genesis of all this Bullshit

(Thank You Marlon)

*****

And No!
I also did NOT watch ‘The Oscars’ on My Tee-Vee Either.

I had Something Better to Do!

Like Picking The Lint Outta My Belly-Button.

(Which Was More Gratifying & Satisfying)

******

Golden Age
Lost Now–Magic Has Gone
Never Get It Back
That Ship Has Sailed
Out-of-Sight
Missing Somewhere Over That Recent Rainbow…

My father used to tell a great story about some university asshole who was trying to impress him:

Dude said,

“The reason Wizard of Oz was in Black and White was because in the beginning, 1939, they really did not have color film.”

Daddy replied, “That is fascinating. I suppose when Dorothy got back to Kansas, they had lost that technology, as it went back to black and white.”

Come On!

Get Happy!!

For those who don’t know, Judy stole the ‘Sinatra Look’ (and his hat) Fun fact. Just my observation….

Goddamn! But she was sexy!

What a Dame!

Judy! Judy! Judy!


******

No Business Like Show Business….
Adding-dumb Dumb da Dumb

I miss my Daddy; He loved Old Movies–As Did My B’Lov’d Lost Sister, Madelyn:

https://texantales.com/2022/10/12/fuk-it-it-is-a-sister-kind-of-day-i-miss-her-so-fukking-much-just-shoot-me-in-the-head-twice-how-do-you-hold-a-moonbeam-in-your-hand/

Are The Good Times Really Gone Forever?

Oh! I Hope No!

I Am Still Holding Out For A Renaissance!

Hope I Live Long Enough To See It!

******

Bonus’esses

Excesses???

(Again: Bring Your Own Dresses)

Are These Three Broads The ‘Future’ of Hollywood?

(Actually, I Think They Are All The Same Broad)

But, DAMN!

They’re Good!

GO NAVY!

The Below Is Silly and Stupid

(But So Much Rather Endearing):

*****

I love My Oh So Rich American Culture–I Ain’t Rich, but surely you know what I mean.

I love my excesses

Bring your own dresses

*****

Am I gay?

No!

No Way!

I don’t Play that way.

(I just Color outside the lines.)

****

I Was In Re-Hab For Six Days.

Gonna Take Me Six Weeks to Catch Up

On au courant Events

I “Suffered’ At Glen Oaks!

I am a news junkie

Don’t You See?