Lance Looks in the Mirror

First time in some years…

(Risky, Dangerous Enterprise? Yes?!)

Casually regards the visage staring back at him.

“Something’s missing,” he says.

Dons DEVO hat.

Yeah!

Hell yeah!

That’s the “Look!”

********

“Maternity Flight Suits????”

Joe? Really?

I never watched the movie, “G.I. Jane”

(Because it was a farce and insulted the Navy SEAL program), but… come on Man!”

“Maternity Flight Suits????”

***********

(Maybe it is time for me to give ‘G.I. Jane’ a second chance. Cannot possibly be worse than the garbage coming down the pike these days.)

*******

I died along the way.

But at least I showed up.

Twice

*************

This post is in desperate need of some

‘Joni’

To talk me down off that ledge

I have found me Precariously placed on…

(or is it ‘upon’?)

Which is the ‘proper’ word?

Ask me how many fucks I give.

I write; therefore I Yam!

Just call me ‘Popeye!’

************

Vid Cred: jmms429

Song credit: Who do you think?

More Face-Dork Shit: Vain Fantasy Shit

(Perhaps I will revisit this post and edit it …But I doubt that.)

Stream of unconsciousness

“I mostly write about my past. (On my TT&H Blog–and here too, I guess)

Recent past

Not so recent past

Some ancient history past.

All true.

All memories, My Memories, True Memories (‘Cept for the times I blacked out due to my propensity at times to… uh, well, ‘tis the fault of Jim (Beam) an’ his frens)

Some good

Some bad

Some devastating to remember and recount

Some glorious to revisit.

The one thing always constantly constant however is this:

They all make me feel still alive and kicking and looking forward to making new memories.”

******

Things that inform your mind that you are over-the-hill, and of no further use to society:

1. You telephone your girlfriend of thirty – years

2. She has better things to attend

3. i.e., laundry

4. You try to telephone your most recent ex-wife, only to discover that your number has been placed on her ‘block all calls from this number list.’

5. You look around for your dog.

6. Then remember he died in your arms at the vet, ‘bout 18 months ago.

7. Then you just crawl into a corner

8. And Pray for Death to come for you soon. And then you remember that you are an atheist.

And Prayer probably won’t work for you.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but it is at this moment you come to the stark realization that you are properly fucked.

And all alone

******

Warning!

Danger!

Danger Will Robinson!

Lance is DRUNK!

(Yet he writes anyway.)

Why?

Why?

Why? Oh Why!

Why do I pursue this vain fantasy?

I am cognizant of the paralyzed fact…

That I am drunk outta what is left of my mind.

But here is a clue and a nickel:

First the Clue: I don’t give a shit. (OK? We good with that so far?)

Second: I don’t give a fuck!

(Y’all ‘trackin’ now?)

Bravo!

Congrats!

(If Y’all don’t watch the below vid, I pity you.)

Vid Share Credit: Manosphere Environment

It’s a Fam-damily Tradition!

Fun fact:

Hank Jr, was three and change when when ‘Daddy’ Died.

But he milked it.

SPAM ALERT! “DANGER WILL ROBINSON!” Posted on FaceFuk Today—Not Sure Why Or a Version of a Perversion

SPAM ALERT! “DANGER WILL ROBINSON!” (Posted on FaceFuk Today—Not Sure Why)

*****

I posted this on 26 January, but I don’t think ‘it took.’ So here it is again.

Yep. SPAM

Recycled

Will Write Some New, Original Shit Real Soon.

Promise.

(Hey! I still have that bridge for sale–20 percent off–Today Only.)

I am rather proud (There is that ‘Vanity’ Thang again—Rearing its ugly head) of me for the construction of this one. But It was sincere and it was ‘heartfelt.’

There is a plethora of Upbeat, Happy, and Positive Stolen Content. —Take a look.

Hook or Crook

Street Cred For Vid: Pharrell Williams

******

My Good Friends, Yes, times are severely Fukked Right Now. We all know this, but, if we lose our optimism, positivity, and hope, and give in to Nattering Nabobs of Negativity, (CNN, I’m staring/glaring at YOU!)

Then We become Part of The Problem, and not The Solution.

Keep the Faith Friends. Stay Positive, Optimistic, and Joyous. Life is a Gift, no Matter The Current State of Fukked-Up we find The Times to be. Things will Get Better. They Always Do. 

(I missed my ‘Calling!’ I should have been a preacher! Joke, By the Way,)

END OF SERMON

(And Don’t Neglect The Tithing Plates — Commentary and Feedback)

Cheers!

****

Credit to Spiro Agnew For The ‘Nattering Nabobs’ quote. I endeavor to always Give Credit Where Credit is due—Speaking of, I have maxed out two of my five credit cards. I may need to win the lottery soon—just to maintain my luxurious, glamorous lifestyle.

And here is The Genesis: (You really did not think Spiro had The Smarts to come up with this on his own, did you?)

“The term was used by William Safire in a speech written for United States Vice President Spiro Agnew in 1970, which received heavy media coverage. Agnew, increasingly identified with his attacks on critics of the Nixon administration, described these opponents as “nattering nabobs of negativism”.

All The Leaves Are Brown

I have spent a great portion of my life living in California.

First with my Mom back in the Sixties and then Later (Mid 80’s) When I was a Sailor Stationed in San Diego.

I have always loved Cali (Of Course not as I LOVE Texas, But Love California I did.)

So it is with a Heavy Heart That I Post this Post.

The California That I loved so Much is Dead to me Now.

And So glad I ‘escaped’ before She Tuned to Literal Shite.

I’d like to hang onto my GOOD Memories of California–All the Times Mom and I would go to San Francisco, Santa Cruz,

And of course

Haight-Ashbury

And 39613 Bruning Street

Love You Cass Elliot et al–Wonderful Talent in This Group

What Would You Say Now Joni?

Dearest Joni, Pretty sure California has broken your Heart as it has mine. I love you Joni for this magical Song–and for ALL of your Magical Songs–You are such an important part of my life. And you will always remain, holding a very special place in my heart.

Until Death do us part. I hope I go first. I do not wish to live in a world without you, Joni Mitchell

*****

Moving on–My fawning desire over Joni, for now, sated

(But trust me: It will resurface, and probably much sooner than later)

*******

And this Saddens Me. Me, The Eternal Cock-Eyed Optimist, But Some things Are Perma-Broken and I see no Chance of Fixing Them Anytime soon:

Even More Shit That Makes Me Happy: Critical Drinker

MY HERO

Today’s Episode is All About Just This One Brilliant Scottish Man

And Since

My Muse

is still fuking off IN Waco with her ‘Other Client,’

And since I cannot seem to write any original shit on my own these days,

I decided to drop in some of his videos for any film buffs out there that may be amongst my readers:

All five of you.                          

The Critical Drinker (In My Not-So-Humble-Opinion) is the best contemporary film critic working today. Let me know if you agree or disagree:

All feedback welcome and desired.

So Pour Yourself A Scotch And Let’s Get Into It

I do Hope You Enjoy

I am actually re-watching “Independence Day” as I type these words, so…

Demolition Man – Life Simulator 2020 Edition

We Are Witness To The Demise of Relevant Entertainment

Welcome To SJW CLOWN WORLD

“LOOKS AMAZING!”

LMFAO!!

This Film Will Make HISTORY

(For STUPIDITY)

This has just been a ‘Sampler.’

If you’d like more I invite you to visit his YouTube Page. All His Content Is ‘Top-Shelf.’–Pun Intended:

https://www.youtube.com/c/TheCriticalDrinker/videos

P.S., I confess my ignorance:

Critical Drinker often refers to The ‘CW.’

I had no idea what that meant, or what he was referring to, so I looked it up:

“CBS and Warner Bros. partnered to create a new network called The CW which they launched in September of 2006. The “C” stands for CBS and the “W” stands for Warner Bros. Nov 27, 2012.”

Just Some More CNN Bashing

(Video Credit: FreedomToons)

Since My Muse Has Once Again Fucked Off To Waco Due To “Previous Committed Obligations,” I am Forced To Shit-Post:

Just To Keep The Embers Burning, Or at Least Somewhat Viable For Future Reference, or Need

Ed Note:

Regarding My Muse

I really should consider finding a MUSE who is FOCUSED solely on ME.

But I cannot ‘Fire’ This One.

Her evil side is always just beneath the surface.

Bubbling up.

“Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and caldron bubble.”

Will boil over at the slightest provocation.

I have seen/experienced her wrath.

(And it ain’t Nothin’ Nice)

She frightens me.

********

FaceDork Post of Mine Pasted In Below:

****

“Hey Clown News Network!

Perhaps

You did not Get The Memo:

“We Have A New President! Why Are You Still Fixated On Trump?

You Are Giving Him More ‘Airtime’ Than Piss-Pants Biden. I Think I can Surmise: Your Ratings Going Deep Into The Shitter Without Orange-Man-Bad/RAD.

Don’t Open Your Mouth While Down There, Or You Will Have A Bad Day.

Just hold Your Breath.

Until You Die.

We Will NOT Miss You.

Except For Erin Burnett:

I will MISS HER.

Marvelous Much.”

(Ref a Previous Fawning Post of Mine, Regarding her. Pasted in Below)