Have I Mentioned Lately How Pissed Off I Am? America is BROKEN! And This BREAKS MY HEART!! P.S. I now have the WuFlu! YaHoo! I Am So Fucking Excited! This Should Prove to be an Adventure.

Yeah! And I have had my two Fauci Ouchies

FUCK YOU CNN!!!

FUCK YOU PMSNBC!

BASICALLY FUCK YOU BROADCAST TV!

Cred: Mark Dice

AND FUCK YOU, “THE VIEW”!!

Cred: Salty Cracker

The Joke Is On Me (And On You–For Even Being Here) Broadcast News

Facebook Post:
Good morning!
I am feeling somewhat “normal” today.
Trying to stay two steps ahead of the neck pain.
Taking lots of Ibuprofen and booze.
Put MS Muse Out of my Misery.
But I miss her already.
I just may have a life after all.
Or not.
“O, that way madness lies; let me shun that;
No more of that.”
—King Lear, Act 3, Scene 4
Too heavy?
Fuck with me?
You’ll get what you fucking deserve.
Love,
Lance…
The NSA Are on Their Way!

“Hey! Hey! NSA! On The Way!
(Ditto the Local Cops!)
“Surround the House!”
“Madman Inside!”
“Be careful Boys!”
“Let’s Take Him Down…”
“But Quietly.”
“No Muss. No Fuss.”

*****

Do not Fuck with Me!

I will not Hesitate to Empty a Clip Into Your Dome.

MS Muse– Miss Misery:

Feel Free To Conduct A Search

For ‘Abusive Muse.’

There you may find happiness.

******

BONUS MATERIAL BELOW

Crit-After-My-Own-Heart-Drinker-Man!

If you do not watch this, or appreciate this…

Your Loss

Credit: Crit Drinker

Shit Done Jumped Off (Again)–or–“Why do I have to keep writing about these things?”

Recent update:

Upon some not-so-sober refection and some feedback,

I just have to add,

THIS:

This post is, as said, stream of consciousness.

Not much more to say.

So, I just say,

This post is fucked up.

A journey into the nether.

The nether reaches

Of how my mind works.

Or does not work.

Don’t care.

Me.

I do not care.

Discovering that no one actually ‘reads’ my posts…

is

Somewhat ‘free’ing’

I like that.

Don’t read.

Do not watch my ‘added value’

It is all bullshit.

****

Author’s Note:

This is stream of consciousness

And gut-felt feeling.

Read at your own annoyance.

Thank you.

Drive Thru.

PPPS:

This Post is a fucking chocolate mess!

Fuck this Blog!

Texan Tales & Pyro-Glyphics!

Who wrote That?!

Some moron!

I am gonna delete this work from my life.

And mosey on down that mammary lane.

So….

Read fast!

And do NOT FORGET TO WATCH THE MADONNA “BAD GIRL” AT THE END!!!!!

***

***

As most of you know, who know me, think to know me, gracious enuff to read me, give-a-shit to try to know me, know this:

I have spent great portions of my life in places like Iraq, Sinai, Egypt, Israel, South-East Asia, Texas

(Some in Tennessee too, “But we don’t talk about that, do we Lance? Well, not overmuch”).

And…

 Afghanistan.

“Afghan-is-Sand”

He Went to Paris: I can smell the Darkness

It has been my Good, Great Fortune and Great Privilege to have known great, honorable, decent, brave people from all over the world.

(This is the unsaid benefit of travel—try it—you’ll hate it)

There’s no place like home…

***

My most recent ‘tour’ of ‘duty’ was in Helmand (Hell-Man!) Province, Afghanistan.

My heart is breaking for the Good People of Afghanistan.

In the Middle of the fucking East.

Sad?

Yep.

***

I used to think in terms of this below:

Employment opportunity for me?

Most Def.

“Put me in Coach.”

Opportunities for me to ‘fucking shine!’

To be somebody!

To be a fucking contender!

To do some good.

And to do some bad.

To suit, satiate, and feed my ego.

Or just for “Redemption Day”

Y’all know I am an atheist.

But however comma,,,,

Atheists are people too.

And we love our mothers just as much as ppl of faith love theirs.

We strive for redemption.

(Our definition somewhat diverges from the traditional ‘Christianne’ version, I must admit)

Nevertheless,

We do strive.

Butt…

I do not think like this any more

(nor any less)

But I am growing / glowing old.

I have lost ‘faith’ in my atheism ‘faith.’

(Anyone wanna explore how utterly fucked up and ill-founded, ill-conceived, ill-nourished, ill-pondered… that statement is???)

Good luck!

***

That once ‘Fire in my belly’ has turned peacefully to ember.

And to be honest, I am somewhat relieved.

And yet!

And YET!

Pissed off!

I do not want to pass that torch just yet.

Not ready!

My life has been one adventure followed hard upon the heels of the preceding.

To give that up…

Not in my Jeans, Genes, Frenetic, Foible, Stupid-beyond-repair, idiot mind.

Psychopath-ically Psycho Psyche

Not quite there yet.

“Put me in Coach! I’m ready to play!”

(My eternal, forever mantra)

Used to be.

Now…

Not sure I can muster the passion.

Vid Credit: allmydiscs

See the anger in her eyes?

The Sheryl Crow above vid.

Please tell me you watched it!

Gawd-dammit!

(Yeah. I see that too)

So many vids to accentuate my pointless point.

So little fucking time.

(Yes! Hell yes! Fuck yes!)

This post is chock-fucking full of profanity.

The One Thing, I can always hang on to

Always count upon

Always rely upon

Constant as the Northern Star (Polaris, which is ten degrees off-center and three  bubbles off plumb as wanna-be northern stars go…)

The one constant I can always embrace is this:

I am a sailor.

Ergo

I use profanity.

***

Back to the point of this post:

I am weep for Afghanistan

(The poor grammar is me firing for ‘effect’—deal—just deal with it)

Drive through.

Points well-taken.

Or not.

Fuck it!

I am NOT Happy.

And this is all that matters.

Ain’t it?

MY HAPPINESS

Not NUTHING ELSE Matters!

(Or does it?)

OR LACK THEREOF?

It is ALL ABOUT ME!!

Isn’t it???????????????????????????

“Hey! Lance! Go to fuck you!”

–Mama-San

mOST OF My TimME…..

iN AFGHANISTAN

WaS

WiTH Not-AfGHANisTAN.

It was with….

Expats.

Just pretending.

But…

I loved.

I LOVED

Afghanistan-is-Sand

Just like

Charlie

Wilson

I spent far too much

And far too little

Time

In

Afghanistan.

I honestly do not know what the fuck I am talking about.

But.

At least I showed up.

****

“I Got Dem Ol’ Time Turtle Blues Again Mama!” (Apologies to Janis Joplin)

Yet another bit gleaned from my longer post of 29 Jan 2014. 

“‘The Time Has Come,’ The Walrus Said, ‘To Talk of Many Things:

Of Murdered Birds, Of Turtles Green, and Hippies Sellin’ Rings.’”

My mother was probably

“The Original Hippy Chick.”

When Haight-Ashbury was in full bloom, she would not shut up about it until we ventured there.

(Just the two of us. By Ourselves. Mother and Child–You could do that in ’67–No Worries. Don’t try it today. Please Don’t try it today.)

I knew a little of the ‘Hippy Culture’ back then, yet had no desire to experience it ‘up close an’ personal.’

Mom did.

I MISS HER.
I Miss My Mother
I MISS HER FREE SPIRIT

So one bright sunny Saturday morning we packed up the Ol’ Rusty Rambler and headed off to ‘Frisco and Haight-Ashbury.

Okay. Not Really Our ACTUAL Car

But close. Damn close.

To say that trip opened my eyes would be an understatement bordering on felonious.  I was shocked, awed, amazed, bothered, bewildered, enlightened, enchanted, enthralled, and all at the same time.

The whole day was a ‘Whirling Dervish’ of attacks on my senses and emotions. I remember clearly all the people with their long hair, colorful clothing, love beads, head bands, peace signs, guitars, laughter, and smoke coming from everywhere and not smelling at all like the smoke from the cigarettes my mother used to light up.

But most of all, I remember

The Music 

Music was ubiquitous and oh how I did love the music.

We walked up and down those streets for hours and I do believe my mother stopped and purchased some trinket from every single hippy-trinket-seller she visited, which by my estimation, would have been all of two hundred of them.

Not really being a trinkets-man myself, I purchased a pair of small green turtles that I wanted to rescue from a hippy life I was certain they were not well suited for. 

I actually remember telling the turtles during the ride home not to worry; that they were safe now, and also apologizing to them if I had left any of their family members behind due to the fact that my meager allowance did not afford me the luxury of benevolence to purchase freedom for the whole lot of them–Even though I did beg mom for an advance to do just that.

The turtles ended up having a fine long Turtle – Life and were probably the only two green turtles to ever migrate from 

California

 

to

Texas

Texas suited them and me, better. Much better.

Author’s Note: I am a NATIVE Texan. Born in Ladonia, 1957

(Wasn’t MY fault I was forced to live in California for too many years.)

***

As Always, Thank you for visiting and reading. All comments are welcomed.

Wishing Happy Days Ahead to all My Friends.

***

Bonus Added

Added Bonus:

“But you know I’m very well protected –

I know this goddamn life too well.”

***

“Yeah, but I’m gonna take good care of

(Insert your name here)

Yeah,

Honey, ain’t no one gonna dog me down.

Alright, yeah.”

Video Credit:

https://www.youtube.com/user/pridden76

Stimulate Me Bitch!

Woo-Hoo!

Wu Flu!

You have ‘Stimulated’ Me!

“Per your instructions, we are notifying you of the following

Account activity on the Checking account # *0000 with Guaranty Bank & Trust:

Account Bal is $2,333.53 as of 03/17/2021 01:13 AM”

****************

Ever’month—Right?—No?—You just a One-Trick Pony?

Well, “Go to Fuk You Then!!”—

California! Here I come!”

Vid Share Street Cred: diarci.
Thank You, diarci

******************

FREE BONUS!

It won’t cost One Dime!

(Just Send One Dollar—

Postal Money Order!)

Street Cred: Floyd & And The Gang.

DUH!

(Yeah! I’m Crusin’ For A Brusin’)

*********************

P.S.,

The ABBA Girls Are

JUST TOO HAPPY

In This!

(See above!)

They LOVE Their Work!

And This IS ….

Precisely Why…

I will love them

Until I Die!

THEM!

(Sorry!

Esoteric Sci-Fi, 50’s Movie Ref)

The Joke Is On Me (And On You–For Even Being Here) Broadcast News

Facebook Post:
Good morning!
I am feeling somewhat “normal” today.
Trying to stay two steps ahead of the neck pain.
Taking lots of Ibuprofen and booze.
Put MS Muse Out of my Misery.
But I miss her already.
I just may have a life after all.
Or not.
“O, that way madness lies; let me shun that;
No more of that.”
—King Lear, Act 3, Scene 4
Too heavy?
Fuck with me?
You’ll get what you fucking deserve.
Love,
Lance…
The NSA Are on Their Way!

“Hey! Hey! NSA! On The Way!
(Ditto the Local Cops!)
“Surround the House!”
“Madman Inside!”
“Be careful Boys!”
“Let’s Take Him Down…”
“But Quietly.”
“No Muss. No Fuss.”

*****

Do not Fuck with Me!

I will not Hesitate to Empty a Clip Into Your Dome.

MS Muse– Miss Misery:

Feel Free To Conduct A Search

For ‘Abusive Muse.’

There you may find happiness.

******

BONUS MATERIAL BELOW

Crit-After-My-Own-Heart-Drinker-Man!

If you do not watch this, or appreciate this…

Your Loss