My Fantasy Mandy:
Typical, Representative of The ‘Mandy’ Species
(In My Humble Experience Anyway)
It has been my life’s experience that ALL women named ‘Mandy’ are good and decent people:
Sweet and kind–if only just a little too innocent and blind. (to life’s Harsh Realities….)
But without that, that innocence, they would be named ‘Bertha’ or ‘Helga’ or ‘Broomhilda’
And they would not be ‘Mandys.’
(I have known a lot of Mandy’s. So Y’all can take this one to the bank)
I receive daily via email, updates from my bank.
Got one late yesterday informing me my balance was $666 and change.
My first thought was: Old Uncle Joe (He’s a-movin’ kinda slow Biden)
had sent me an advance on my WuFlu assistance.
I had not made a deposit.
Someone must have.
This is a Joke, Right?
Everyone who knows me, knows I am an atheist:
NOT A SATANIST.
Mark of The Beast!
It was a funny joke on me, and I do have a sense o’ humor.
But just to be certain, I called my Institution.
(Not the one I had escaped from:
The Financial One)
Got Mandy, who informed me my balance was closer to sixty-sixty cents than it was to $600. Glad I called, because I was about to go on a spending spree, not unlike our government.
Yes! I just had a recent encounter with a new-to-me ‘Mandy.’
It was a professional—not the oldest profession…
(Get your mind out of the gutter, but a professional—A bona-fide Professional Encounter.
And Strangely enough, she works at my bank and I needed her assistance for that–nothing more.
She did her best to help me fix ‘My Banking Problem’ but she could not, despite all her best efforts.
During several telephone conversations.
Seems having no money is something even the Best ‘Mandy’ cannot fix. No matter how sincerely she tried.
I cannot help it if ‘Looking Glass’ screwed up the Title/Lyrics.
But they only fukked up one letter.
(Albeit, The Most Important One)
I emailed them, requesting they re-do the song–
Their response is not fit to print.
There are some things even I will not repeat.
But I can give a subtle hint:
It involved suggestions of where I could stick certain industrial objects into my anatomy.
They even offered to help.
(I declined Their Generous Offer)