Mandy’s of the World: Steer Clear of Lance Marcom! (Trust Me On This Ladies)

Typical, Representative of The ‘Mandy’ Species

(In My Humble Experience Anyway)

It has been my life’s experience that ALL women named ‘Mandy’ are good and decent people:

Sweet and kind–if only just a little too innocent and trusting.

But without that, that innocence, they would be named ‘Bertha’ or ‘Helga’ or ‘Broomhilda’

And they would not be ‘Mandys.’

***** 

(I have known a lot of Mandy’s. So Y’all can take this one to the bank)

I receive daily via email, updates from my bank.

Got one late yesterday informing me my balance was $666 and change.

My first thought was: Old Uncle Joe (He’s a-movin’ kinda slow Biden)

had sent me an advance on my WuFlu assistance.

I had not made a deposit.

Someone must have.

But Soft!

Wait!

This is a Joke, Right?

Everyone who knows me, knows I am an atheist:

NOT A SATANIST.

Six-Six-Six?!

Mark of The Beast!

It was a funny joke on me, and I do have a sense o’ humor.

But just to be certain, I called my Institution.

(Not the one I had escaped from: The Financial One)

******

Got Mandy, who informed me my balance was closer to sixty-sixty cents than it was to $600. Glad I called, because I was about to go on a spending spree, not unlike our government.

Yes! I just had a recent encounter with a new-to-me ‘Mandy.’

It was a professional—not the oldest profession…

(Get your mind out of the gutter, but a professional—A bona-fide Professional Encounter.

And Strangely enough, she works at my bank and I needed her assistance for that–nothing more.

She did her best to help me fix ‘My Banking Problem’ but she could not, despite all her best efforts.

During several telephone conversations.

Seems having no money is something even the Best ‘Mandy’ cannot fix. No matter how sincerely she tried.

*****

I cannot help it if ‘Looking Glass’ screwed up the Title/Lyrics.

But they only fukked up one letter.

(Albeit, The Most Important One)

I emailed them, requesting they re-do the song–

Fix it.

Their response is not fit to print.

There are some things even I will not repeat.

But I can give a subtle hint:

It involved suggestions of where I could stick certain industrial objects into my anatomy.

They even offered to help.

(I declined)

The Rise and Fall Of The ‘Alien’ Franchise (CONTAINS NOTHING BUT SPOILERS—In More Ways Than One)

And This Post Is Mainly Directed

At

Film Buffs In General

And

‘Alien’ Fans In Particular.

There is a lot of content here i.e.,

A Lot of Videos.

I you don’t watch the vids, you are probably wasting your time.

But You Do You

Let’s Get On With It, Shall we?

I always Like To Begin At Beginning:

So…

Genesis:

H.R Giger

H.R. Giger


Credit: kaptainkristian

In the beginning God created the Heavens

and

Acheron (LV-426)  

Acheron (LV-426) was Formless and Empty; Darkness was over the surface of the Barren, Cold, Unforgiving Land.

So God Created The Xenomorph In His Own Image

(And then turned the thermostat up a few degrees)

Now The Spirit of The Xenomorph was hovering over the Land.

And The God Rested. And was Happy.

(Back Then He Only Worked A One-Day Work-Week)

Then God, possessing a sense of Gallows Humor,

Decided to Lure The Nostromo & Her Intrepid Crew of

Misfits, To Acheron (LV-426)

Just Because He Was Bored and He Could.

But He did stop and think if He Should.

So, He Put His Heavenly Scientists On It:

Plausible Deniability

*******

Alien, The Best:

Ripley’s Undies—Exuding Sexuality

*****

Aliens: Second Best

Video Credit: Screen Junkies

Video Credit: CinemaSins

*****

Alien 3: Third Best

Video Credit: CinemaSins

******

Alien Resurrection: Passing Fair, Watch-Able

Mister Critic Crab here is noncommittal: He is Flashing a Sideways, Horizontal Thumb

“Give Me The Ball”

Little Known Fun Fact: Why Sigourney is The Shit True Story

***********

Credit: Screen Junkies

Credit: Critical Drinker

Prometheus: PURE Garbage

**********

Credit: Critical Drinker

Credit: Screen Junkies

Covenant: Pure SHIT  

*************

Added Value:

Credit:Tell It Animated

The Evolution Of The Xenomorph (Animated)

********

Thanks For Your Visit

And I Hope You Enjoyed

As Much As I Enjoyed

Creating it

(With A LOT O’ Help From Some Of My YouTuber Friends)

Cheers!

*********

P.S. If Y’all are REALLY INTO THIS;

Link Here to ‘A Must’ Watch:

“What you don’t know about women is a lot.”

–Rose Castorini (Olympia Dukakis)

In This Vid Clip, You Will Discover Lance.

Video Cred: Ted Reinert

Lance loves women;

He just cannot help Himself.

He does not understand them.

Therein lies that magic…

“Moonlight in a Martini.”

(Volumn is fukked. Crank it up!)

Lance Romance.

Added Value:

“Breaks Your Heart Just Lookin’ At Her.”

Snakes and Ladders

–Joni

(If you do not listen carefully to the song… I dropped it in For A Really, Really, Really Good Reason)

(Figure it out–If You Can)

I am flying SOLO NOW!

WISH ME LUCK!

https://texantales.com/2021/02/26/farewell-forevermore-to-my-best-ever-friend-my-abusive-muse-i-am-sad-but-also-happy/

“He Gave up Happy Hour For Her.”

Joni/Muse!

Musing…

I Want Another Jewish Princess

Reminiscing about my rebound lover from my living in Israel days…

After That Moroccan Bitch Gladys had dumped me,

I found a new, better girl.

Her name was ‘Alanna’

 And she was beautiful—very, very, VERY beautiful.

First time I saw her I was smitten like a kitten.

She had very long dark hair and even darker eyes.

She was a Yemenite Jew Witch—She could turn frogs into wine.

Problem was, not too many frogs to be found in Israel.

We searched and searched

Alas. No frogs.

So just ended up purchasing wine from the store.

No shit.

And I loved her (briefly)

She was one of my for all-time best lovers.

(I should have married HER instead of some of the broads I later married)

I always smile inside when I remember her.

Song Below: Click it if you dare.

In Need of a Soft Woman

Linda is so beautiful. A treasure to be treasured.

I feel really sick. I am not well. I wish now more than ever that I had a Good Woman to lay down beside me, wrap her arms around me, comfort me and hold me tight as I fall asleep. That is all I want at this moment: A kind, soft of nature, loving, caring gentle woman. (Linda would be my first choice, but Carly would suffice as well–if she be around and in town and not busy.) Or even my second wife: She was a good woman and she loved me. She was ‘soft’ and she truly loved me. Much more than I loved myself.

Facebook Philosophy

I Recently Posted this on Facebook (not sure why)

******

“To All My Facebook Friends:

I love to ‘share’ stuff.

(This is the ‘primary purpose’ of FB as I understand it)

Some of the things I ‘share’ are good.

Some other things not so much.

But I share anyway. 

Why?

  1. Because I can

  2. Because I want to

  3. Because it makes me happy.

  4. Because I am ‘generous.’

  5. And I try to make people happy (If only for a moment)

Yep. I am generous.

To a fault.

I will give you the shirt off my back if it will do you more good than me.

I will give you my food, my booze, my car.

I will give you almost anything I own.

Because I do not care about material things.

The only thing I will not give you is My Life.

(There has been only one time I was ready to give my life for a friend, and that happened one Labour Day back in the Early Seventies)

I am older now and hopefully somewhat wiser.

And have become so ‘loving jealous’ of my life of late.

“Life is for learning.”

–Joni Mitchell

*********

(Just for reference in case you are new here):

“Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.”–W. Shakespeare

Just a little more “added value”

If you have come this far,

You must surely know by now how much I love Joni.

Original “Woodstock”

Song.

Sung by

A Poet.

A Rare Gem

A Treasure.

A Woman (of Heart and Mind)

An Angel.

(There is no thumbnail)

Trust me!

It is Joni!

Watch and listen!

Try this one:

(These two, actually)

There is never enough Joni in my World.

If you do not love Joni,

Well,

You have probably taken a wrong turn at

Albuquerque.

And should not be here.

Go back to California.

Or Egypt.

Or Cat-Man-Don’t.

Or

Whatever Planet You Call “Home.”

These days.

Oh Fuck it!

I will revist this when I am sober.

Fuck it!

WordPress is obviously 

Broken.

WP and I have this in common:

We are both…

Broken.

Fuck it!

“Is it all books and words? Or do you really feel it? Do you really care? Do you really smile. When you smile?”

And since I am rather fond of complete sentences

(and closure)

I just feel compelled to drop this bit in.

(For those few, those happy few, who actually “get” me.

And my sense of humor.)

If I keep dropping mindless shit into this post, I am going to lose my fucking mind.

But I suppose this “Post” Was All About Some Of The Favorite Things I Love To Share.

Now.

Fess up.

Wasn’t it?

Fuck it.

You should not have come this far.

Go Away.

(This one is just for Lance.)

Vid credit: Ly1212

“Say, can I have some of your purple berries?”
“Yes, I’ve been eating them for six or seven weeks now. Haven’t got sick once.”
“Probably keep us both alive.”

I keep ‘sharing’.

But that was the entire point of this entire exercise.

Now,

Wasn’t it?

And just to tie up this thought process…

“Few of My Favorite Things.”

Someday, this post is gonna end.

I am gonna keep milking this cow until she be dry.

(Yes! I am insane!)

Please try to forgive me.

Or not.

Really do not care.

At this point.

“Sharing is Caring.”

Laughing out LOUD!

(I do NOT Subscribe to the “Social Justice Warrior” Magazine.)

‘Cuz I am an asshole.

But then, you’d know that….already.

Thank you if you have read this post.

I am not so much of an ass that I cannot appreciate any time you have spent here.

Thank You.

“Guess I’ll set a course and go.”

ZERO FUCKS GIVEN!

Oy vay!

Preach On My Brother!