Fuk Me to Beers! The Best Peeps I Met, I Met In Re-HaBab Whatever! None of Us Could spel for shit! Poem For “Ethel”–Fake Name–UBH: Interlude

Or….

Why is the rum gone?

 

 

Black Hair

Black Eyes

Bright Smile

Great Thighs

Wily Words From Her Mouth

Gave No Pause

Left No Doubt

Words Delivered With Such Charm

Better Watch Out

You’ll Be Disarmed

Your Walls Came Crashing Down

Your Weapons On The Ground

She Was Standing There

(Laughing At My Folly)

Laughing Everywhere

You May As Well Surrender Right There

Taking Me Aside, She Said

“I’ll Never Be Your Bride.

“But You Knew This All Along.”

She Left Me With A Song

And Made Me Smile Again

Then Left Me With a Fact:

“I Cheats At Blackjack”

 

(Inside Joke—Will Elaborate On This In A Future Post As We Delve Deeper Into This Odyssey)

“A Broad River Divides My Lovers: As Unchangeable As Nature.”

Best Carly Song Ever NOT Written by Kris Kristofferson. I misspoke.

Here is the one I meant (Written by Kris):

Sade! Take me Away!

Either I’M too drunk to bE drunk or too fi==ukkkin’g Stupid to bE Stupid, oR WP is STUPID! i AM GONNA GO W/OPTION “c” UP-PUP_Fuckin’ Dated! Profane Profanity! (With Special Guest Star Cordelia) I am So Far Away From “Give-a-Shit-Land” that even If I had Unlimited Access to the Hubble: It would Make as ’bout as Much and Concern to Me as a Cup of Warm Copenhagen Spit! I’d Just FLUSH IT Along with all the Other sUPER-dUPPER superfulious callifragile —-you know rhe resa=a=song—if you have a fucking brain! I am removin’ from MY Knife (and MY LIFe)! WP Brings OUT The Worst Liver WurtZ Parts of Me! I am trying to Be KIND! But WP is turning this into a fukkkin STRUGGLE! I MAY AS WELL BE BACK IN IRAQ! LIFE WAS SO MUCH EASIER THEN! WP is Pissin’ Me The FUK OFF! hAVE I failed to MENTION TODAY How MUCH I HATE WP??????

My Girl!

Dedicated

To

That

Bitch

I admire

for

Her

Courage

My Girl!

Cordelia!

I LOVE HER

I use a lot.

A lot of

Profanity

What can I say?

I am a Texan / Sailor

Or a Sailor / Texan

‘Tis my nature.

Never mean to offend.

Perhaps I should mend

My speech a little.

Naw!

Fuck that!

***

From ‘Lear’:

CORDELIA:

“Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave

My heart into my mouth. I love your majesty

According to my bond, no more nor less.”

LEAR:

“How, how, Cordelia? Mend your speech a little,

Lest you may mar your fortunes.”

“Daddy! Me ”Fortunes’ Goy (Lil Lenny-Jew Humor there–if you don’t catch the ref—you need not be HERE!)

mY fukkin’g ‘fortunes never existed! marred long fukkin’ time ago!” Married some other

ASSHOLE!

NEVER CAUGHT Her NAME!

NOT THAT THAT WOULD MATTER! FUK Her1 FUK HER! FUCK THE WORLD!

STOP! THIS GREYhOUND!

i’M GETTIN’ OFF!

Just for FUCKIN’ FUN

Because

I’m

a

MORON!

Street Cred: Julie Nolke

I FUKKIN’ LOVE HER!

No One Ub=derstns

My

Sins-of-Humor

This makes me

Sad!

Why

Do

I wasste

MY

Finitte

Time?

Castin’

Pearls

At

Swime?

Swim’en”

With

Bow-legg’d

wimmens!

(I really need to be….put down! For The Sake of hUMANITY — OR at LEAST That FRAGILE Future of What Pipe Dreams it fkkin’ harbors for its lame-ass-self…. shit! Ninety-nine and some chge of all creatures who ever walked or swam on this fukkin’ planet have gone xe-fukkin’ stink! You tink Homo-Sapiens are “special? Well a wink ias as good as a nod to a bling fuckin’ horse!

Some

Asshole

Out

in

:”Radio-

Land

Needs

to “Hip”

Me!

Becuz

I am doin’

This

Shit

in

My

tireless

Effort

To

Fucking

“Entertaine

Yer

Dumb

Assesses!

Please

Believer

When

I

say,

I have

Better

shit

I

i Could do

To

Occupy

My

Fucking

MIND

But

I love

to

try

to

brighten

Your day!

In

My

Simp,ly

Way!

I fukkin’

work

REAL FUKKING

HARD

at

IT

goggamn it!

I work real hard for the money!

That money

I need so

desparately

Need

But

would

Never

Ever!

Ask

You

For!

I suppose

All I would love

Is a

Little

Simlple

“Fuckin’ Thank – You”

mAYBE JUST once per year!

What do that cost you?

A fucking

Mouse miss-fire?

It is not my desire to write in a fuckin’ vacuum!

I am here to try to make you laugh!

Spend the time!

Drop a

fukkin’ dime

But….

Honestly!

I don’t

Give a shit

I write for me

The rest of y’all

can

go get

wrecked!

I won’t miss

Y’all!

For

What you

are

Trying


To

Fucking

DO!

I do NOT

Fuck about!

I am

SMART!

i HAVE been

’round

The fuckin’

Whurl!

Three

Fukkin’

Times!

Do

Y’aa

Think

I

Cannot

Better Find

Ways

To

Waste

My

Fukking time?

And my MIND?

BUT I LOVE

MY READERS!

ALL FIVE OF YOU!!!!

Yeah! I know I’m an asshole!

Git over

That!

Or Git away from me!

I aint

lookin’ for your

fukkink’ smyan-me!

Go on!

Be a FUCKING

PHOTOGRAPH!

I’LL Frame you

And

HANG

You

On

My

“I love Me Wall”

Then

Everytime I see

I

See

you

I

will

Laugh

My

Fuckin’

Ass

Off!

Do you honestly

Wish

me

Dead?

Pretty

Sure

I can

fullfill

That

Vain

Fantasy you have!

Fuck all of this!

I AM SO

SICK

OF

LANCE!

HE AIN’T FIT TO LIVE

WITH!

JUST CALL ME

“HUD!”

gODDAMMMMMNIT!

And…..

In

closing

Let

Me

Say

This

About

This!!!!

“It ain’t

Easy

Bein’

Lance”

And that

is

All

I

got

To

say

About

That!

I do realize

I have

Lost

My fukkin’

Mind!

But

I will

Find it

Again

SometimeIt

Was here

Just a minute ago

Could not

Have

Strayed

Far!

Maybe

I

Just

miss-placed

In

My Pocket!

“Insaniity”

is

JUST

A

Scare

Word

For

Cowards!

God-Fuckin-Zilla

Crit Drinker!

I wish I Were Fukkin’ GAY!

(Don’t Worry–GIRLS–I ain’t!)

But I FUKKIN’; LOVE YOU Crit Drinker Man! I fukkin’ LOVE YOU!

MY MAN! YOU NAIL IT EVER’ FUKKIN’ TIME! GODDAMN FUKKIN’ DAMN!

My mind is FUKKIN’ GONE!

I’m REALLY sORRY

kids!

Just joshin’

I AIN’T SORRY

fer

SHIT!

i’M a cunt!

Love

That

‘Bout me!

****

i’LL GET TO THE Vid Creds Once I awake

FROM MY

Coma

‘Cause

I

NEVER

Fail

To

Give

Credit

When

Fukkin’ du du du

And

FU

Dice!

UP-PUP_Fuckin’ Dated! Profane Profanity! (With Special Guest Star Cordelia) I am So Far Away From “Give-a-shit Land” that even If I had Unlimited Access to the Hubble: It would Make as ’bout as Much and Concern to Me as a Cup of Warm Copenhagen Spit! I’d Just FLUSH IT Along with all the Other sUPER-dUPPER superfulious callifragile —-you know rhe resa=a=song—if you have a fucking brain! I am removin’ from MY Knife (and MY LIFe)!

My Girl!

Dedicated

To

That

Bitch

I admire

for

Her

Courage

My Girl!

Cordelia!

I LOVE HER

I use a lot.

A lot of

Profanity

What can I say?

I am a Texan / Sailor

Or a Sailor / Texan

‘Tis my nature.

Never mean to offend.

Perhaps I should mend

My speech a little.

Naw!

Fuck that!

***

From ‘Lear’:

CORDELIA:

“Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave

My heart into my mouth. I love your majesty

According to my bond, no more nor less.”

LEAR:

“How, how, Cordelia? Mend your speech a little,

Lest you may mar your fortunes.”

“Daddy! Me ”Fortunes’ Goy (Lil Lenny-Jew Humor there–if you don’t catch the ref—you need not be HERE!)

mY fukkin’g ‘fortunes never existed! marred long fukkin’ time ago!” Married some other

ASSHOLE!

NEVER CAUGHT Her NAME!

NOT THAT THAT WOULD MATTER! FUK Her1 FUK HER! FUCK THE WORLD!

STOP! THIS GREYhOUND!

i’M GETTIN’ OFF!

Just for FUCKIN’ FUN

Because

I’m

a

MORON!

Street Cred: Julie Nolke

I FUKKIN’ LOVE HER!

No One Ub=derstns

My

Sins-of-Humor

This makes me

Sad!

Why

Do

I wasste

MY

Finitte

Time?

Castin’

Pearls

At

Swime?

Swim’en”

With

Bow-legg’d

wimmens!

(I really need to be….put down! For The Sake of hUMANITY — OR at LEAST That FRAGILE Future of What Pipe Dreams it fkkin’ harbors for its lame-ass-self…. shit! Ninety-nine and some chge of all creatures who ever walked or swam on this fukkin’ planet have gone xe-fukkin’ stink! You tink Homo-Sapiens are “special? Well a wink ias as good as a nod to a bling fuckin’ horse!

Some

Asshole

Out

in

:”Radio-

Land

Needs

to “Hip”

Me!

Becuz

I am doin’

This

Shit

in

My

tireless

Effort

To

Fucking

“Entertaine

Yer

Dumb

Assesses!

Please

Believer

When

I

say,

I have

Better

shit

I

i Could do

To

Occupy

My

Fucking

MIND

But

I love

to

try

to

brighten

Your day!

In

My

Simp,ly

Way!

I fukkin’

work

REAL FUKKING

HARD

at

IT

goggamn it!

I work real hard for the money!

That money

I need so

desparately

Need

But

would

Never

Ever!

Ask

You

For!

I suppose

All I would love

Is a

Little

Simlple

“Fuckin’ Thank – You”

mAYBE JUST once per year!

What do that cost you?

A fucking

Mouse miss-fire?

It is not my desire to write in a fuckin’ vacuum!

I am here to try to make you laugh!

Spend the time!

Drop a

fukkin’ dime

But….

Honestly!

I don’t

Give a shit

I write for me

The rest of y’all

can

go get

wrecked!

I won’t miss

Y’all!

For

What you

are

Trying


To

Fucking

DO!

I do NOT

Fuck about!

I am

SMART!

i HAVE been

’round

The fuckin’

Whurl!

Three

Fukkin’

Times!

Do

Y’aa

Think

I

Cannot

Better Find

Ways

To

Waste

My

Fukking time?

And my MIND?

BUT I LOVE

MY READERS!

ALL FIVE OF YOU!!!!

Yeah! I know I’m an asshole!

Git over

That!

Or Git away from me!

I aint

lookin’ for your

fukkink’ smyan-me!

Go on!

Be a FUCKING

PHOTOGRAPH!

I’LL Frame you

And

HANG

You

On

My

“I love Me Wall”

Then

Everytime I see

I

See

you

I

will

Laugh

My

Fuckin’

Ass

Off!

Do you honestly

Wish

me

Dead?

Pretty

Sure

I can

fullfill

That

Vain

Fantasy you have!

Fuck all of this!

I AM SO

SICK

OF

LANCE!

HE AIN’T FIT TO LIVE

WITH!

JUST CALL ME

“HUD!”

gODDAMMMMMNIT!

And…..

In

closing

Let

Me

Say

This

About

This!!!!

“It ain’t

Easy

Bein’

Lance”

And that

is

All

I

got

To

say

About

That!

I do realize

I have

Lost

My fukkin’

Mind!

But

I will

Find it

Again

SometimeIt

Was here

Just a minute ago

Could not

Have

Strayed

Far!

Maybe

I

Just

miss-placed

In

My Pocket!

“Insaniity”

is

JUST

A

Scare

Word

For

Cowards!

God-Fuckin-Zilla

Crit Drinker!

I wish I Were Fukkin’ GAY!

(Don’t Worry–GIRLS–I ain’t!)

But I FUKKIN’; LOVE YOU Crit Drinker Man! I fukkin’ LOVE YOU!

MY MAN! YOU NAIL IT EVER’ FUKKIN’ TIME! GODDAMN FUKKIN’ DAMN!

My mind is FUKKIN’ GONE!

I’m REALLY sORRY

kids!

Just joshin’

I AIN’T SORRY

fer

SHIT!

i’M a cunt!

Love

That

‘Bout me!

****

i’LL GET TO THE Vid Creds Once I awake

FROM MY

Coma

‘Cause

I

NEVER

Fail

To

Give

Credit

When

Fukkin’ du du du

And

FU

Dice!

Profane Profanity! (With Special Guest Star Cordelia)

I use a lot.

A lot of

Profanity

What can I say?

I am a Texan / Sailor

Or a Sailor / Texan

‘Tis my nature.

Never mean to offend.

Perhaps I should mend

My speech a little.

Naw!

Fuck that!

***

From ‘Lear’:

CORDELIA:

“Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave

My heart into my mouth. I love your majesty

According to my bond, no more nor less.”

LEAR:

“How, how, Cordelia? Mend your speech a little,

Lest you may mar your fortunes.”

“I dreamt a dream tonight” Of Queen Mab, or “Whatever Your Will, Will”

“Oh Good God! Lance is posting yet more ‘driveling-snivelings’ about writers, writing, and his writing travails! He wears me out!”

“Well, you may thank Mister Ohh over at His Place for prompting me to resurrect this long since dead post on the subject. Have a pleasant journey and be sure to give him my best regards while you are there. Ohh! (See what I just did there?) Oh btw, the password is “Mo’ Sent me.” ‘Mo, being shorthand for ‘Moron.’ Gawd! I crack me up! Ha. Ha. Ha.

The Angry Mab

Credit: deviantart.com

“I dreamt a dream tonight.”

“And so did I.”

“Well, what was yours?”

“That dreamer’s often lie.”

“…In bed asleep while they do dream things true!”

“Oh! Then I see Queen Mab hath been with you!”

–R&M: Romeo and Mercutio

***

“Peace, Good Mercutio. Peace. Thou talks of nothing. Thou talkst of nothing.”

“True. True. I talk of dreams, which are the children of an idle brain. Begot of nothing but  vain fantasy, which is as thin of substance as the air and more inconstant than the wind who woes even now the frozen bosom of the north, and being angered puffs away from thence, turning his side to the dew-dropping south.”

Thou Talkst of Nothing

***

After a night of hard blogging and writing of drafts, and becoming somewhat disillusioned and more than daft, I perished toward my bed, reaching out for the Arms of Morpheus.

Within moments I slipped into that Hypnagogic Sleep, that strange place between two worlds, that semi-conscious state of being, yet not being,

“Illumined Pleasure”

Salvador Dali 1928

Sleep, but Not Sleep.

Then I began to dream things that should have been true.

But were not true

Yet so true.

Wonderful words words words!

Words to sate my unnourished prose.

Words swirl’d about in my mind like so many fireflies on a summer’s eve:

“Words, words, words!. Once, I had the gift. I could make love out of words as a potter makes cups of clay. Love that overthrows empires. Love that binds two hearts together, come hellfire & brimstone.”

— “Will Shakespeare in Love”

I had it (them, those) words… goin’ on.

Brilliant words. Beautiful, poignant words! All right there!

Right there In My Mind

Hovering, floating just above the surface

I reached out my finger to tap the “Publish Mouse”

My finger was frozen

It would not move

How hard I did try!

It would not comply!

I lay there in Nether Sleep,

Commanding!

Demanding!

The hand, one digit, just the finger!

Just move the damn finger!

Would not

Could not

Then I realized

“I am with Dante now”

And he mocked me

“Here are the words you seek”

***

But I Did Not want to be with Dante.

I wanted to be with my Lost Muse.

Y’all remember her:

The Abusive One.

Madness And Sadness And Gladness, (and Sorrowful Joy) or, “We’re not dead, are we Sir?”

Took Me A Day And A Half,
But I have finally finished watching
“The Dresser” (for the 20th time)
(I don’t like to rush things)
“Slow down; don’t move too fast. Gotta make the mourning last”
Yes.
‘Mourning.’
“The Dresser” is perhaps one of the best Shakespearean films of all time.
I always find me crying at the end.
(spoiler alert!)
Watch it!
If you wish to be emotionally moved.
To Tears.
And Fears
Of Madness
And joy
And… enlightenment
Nothing left to say
Watch it
You won’t regret
Trust me
I’m bona fide

“We’re not dead, are we?”

(The final scene never fails to break my heart)

And I love to experience such emotion.

It is a Uniquely Human Thing:

Sorrow

 

 

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Katharine Ross is The Most BEAUTIFUL Woman in The History of Women

“The Graduate”

Ending Scene:

***

Moron Lance Author’s Note:

I could write sixteen blog posts on the movie

“The Graduate”

All time top ten perfection films of all time.

(And I could write twenty-four only focused on Katharine—Which I just might)

Just saying.