Drunken Crying Jag: Almost there. I need to Be Put To Sleep–Permanant. And, Sad Thing… I am My Biggest Fan! Yet I Won’t Even Miss Me Once I Shed This Mortal Coil…

Author’s Note: This Post is Drunk. Just Ignore it.

You Shall Be Better Served By Your Ignorance of It–

Trust Me

This post will make NO SENSE!

Which is entirely my POINT!



Oh Susanna!

Don’t Fly away from me!

I come from Armadillo

With a Banjo On My Knee!


That’s Her

Susanna Hoff!

I am not stupid

(In some ways I Yam)


I know all the women in this band move me




If you have

‘read’ me…

You know…


And Thank You

Sweet Baby James

DIS gonna be one ah dem clanging banging horses in mid-stream conciousness–messes-confesses–

You have been properly and prudently warned

“Whatever Lance,” abusive muse said. “Take five vodkas and call me in the mourning.” She said.

“BITCH!” I said back.

Before she left out my door, she sexy-slinked over to me, gave me a taste of her beautiful seductive, sometimes loving eyes. Then slapped the shit out of my face.

As I was picking me up off the floor, I said to her departing figure,

“I love you Muse!”

She glanced over her shoulder as she walked away from me just-one-more-time,

And said,

“I am through with you! Go fuck yourself! And never, never, ever EVER! Call me again!”


Please try to imagine my despair.

I give zero fucks about food

I give zero fucks about money

I give zero fucks about fortune

I give zero fucks about fame

I give one or two fucks about booze

I may give three about Copenhagen snuff

And other un-named stuff





All other fucks I have to gladly, willingly give,

I give to my Muse.

My Pygmalion-Created lover.

If she leave me.


I am for reals








And I will commit suicide.


Some Small Reference:


“Gonna hurt ya permanent”

Dire Straits…

Don't Drown Lance.
At least one shall miss you.
And your bullshit

Money For Nothing

Vid Cred: mzq88

Vid Cred: Too many to sort out.

This Vid is all-over-the place.

F*ck it! I suppose I could credit ‘Kenny Rogers and The First Edition’ Yeah. At least I can do that. At the very least… I can do that. Suppose I just did. Yer Welcome Kenny. Only thing you ever did that was worth a shit


Dire Straits…


This is painful.

Because I am a proud veteran and proud of my macho almost Navy SEAL times two service attempts

(At least I showed up—twice)


I come with hat in hand.

Anyone reads me with regularity knows I am an alcoholic.

Pretty much a ‘functioning one’


Money management is something I have always sucked at.

But I always maintained a backstop insurance policy.

A woman.

A rich woman.

A women I spent a great deal of my money and time when I worked in Iraq and Afghanistan, flying her all over the world to meet for for R&R’s… Barcelona, Rome, Dubai, London, on and on…

You know her name.

It starts with an R and ends with a…

Never mind.

I have spilt lots of ink on her already.

Point is, she has decided to cut me off in my last hour of need.

Refused  to HBO!

Help a Brother Out!

I will run out of booze and life within half a day.

You know what happens when that happens?

DT Man.

Then I die

Came close to that LAST TIME

I do not wish to go through that agin.

DT Man scares me more than any man

And, trust me, Gentle Reader:

I do not scare easy.

But he scares me.

He is hell-bent to kill me.

If you value me.

Or my work

And enjoy it.

Help me out

Call me


Email me


Help me.




I do hope Y’all Know This is all Tongue-Firmly-Planted-in-My-Cheek


Spare me a dime??

Attempted Sleep (Failed) Or… To Sleep, Perchance to Dream.

“The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence.”

Need sleep.

Turned off the TV.

Turned off the lights.

Turned off my computer monitor.

Turned off the HVAC

Turned off my mind.



Could not sleep.

Too quiet.

Not near dark enough.

Trying to fall asleep listening to this.

Before it runs out.

Before I laid down for the second time, I asked MS Muse:

“Hey! You wanna lie down with me? Sleep with me? Hold me? Comfort me?”

She said, and I quote, “Go fuck yourself.”

“Guess that would be a ‘no’ then.”

But I cannot sleep:

“Hello Darkness MY Old Friend…”

My mind torments me.



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