Hamsterdam (Apologies to ‘The Wire’- Wonderful TV Series)

Way back in the day when I was a wee child and living in Kansas City with My Daddy and my Evil Step- Mom DJ, I had a pet hamster.

He was an infant hamster, so I had to feed him out a very tiny baby milk bottle. I loved feeding him so much in this way.

Well I kinda ‘over-did’ it and one day he just exploded.

Imagine my remorse. Hamster abuse. Unintentional.

I was not an evil child.

But I grew up to be an evil man.

It’s a Darwinian thing:

“Evolution”

Survival of the fittest

What goes around comes around I guess.

Good Karma?

I’ve accumulated none

(And probably too late to rack up any)

Oh wait!

John and Yoko can hook me up!

Added Bonus Value: HAMSTERDAM:

Video Compilation Credit: hartzilladesign

Annie! Don’t Get Your Gun—We Cool–Lah Dee Dah

I grew bored watching “Independence Day

Couldn’t finish it. Was just wasting my time.

I love sci-fi and of course I have seen this film already a few times. It was better years ago, but it just does not age well. So I pulled the plug on it and moved on.

I selected a real ‘quality’ movie that never ages for me, to re-watch:

“Annie Hall.”

(More cerebral—smarter—better. So much better–Perfection film.)

I called up Diane Keaton (I have her on ‘Speed-Dial’)

“Hey! Wanna come over for dinner and a movie? I have Annie Hall. queued up”

“Not one of my favorite films, you got anything else in your repertoire? Like ‘Star Wars’ or something? But sure. Just let me grab a cab. What’s for dinner?”

“Lobster” I said “And you don’t wanna know what else is for dinner, but you are on the dessert menu. Know that.”

“On my way,” she said, and hung up. Rather abruptly. Presumably to grab that cab. Or crab. Or lobster.

I was gonna tell her, before she hung up, that this was no BYOL PARTY -‘Bring your own lobster.’

I had it all, already ‘sorted’

(I hoped)

You must watch the below, otherwise my post just falls all apart

Bonus Clip Below (Strangely related)

“You gots to be mo’ careful.”

Continuing Saga of My Favorite Wife: Rhonda

(Video Credit: Brian)

Yes. Yes I know! I skipped quite ahead with my last ‘Rhonda Post.’ Now I am gonna try to fill in the blanks and the timeline.

(Shit! Just realized some of this is ‘rerun.’)

Sorry Kids.

Fuck it.

I’ll get to the Next Chapter Tomorrow.

For reference

So one day she showed up at SPAN Instruments as an assembler.

She was beautiful and caught my attention ‘span’ See what I did there? Laughing out loud

(My attention span truthfully was short in those days, but she captured and held it)

And she was ‘built like a brick shit-house—very sexy—caught me more times than I can recall just staring  at her. One problem she had, which kinda ‘marred’ her: she had HORRIBLE teeth. (I ignored this fatal flaw—the rest of her was flawless)

But the thing which was the most endearing and refreshing and charming was that she had such a pleasant Okie-White-Trash Demeanor. Always happy and positive about life. I was in dangerous peril of falling in love with her, but alas, she was married and so was I.

So ‘friends’ is all we could muster.

We worked together in that sweatshop for a year and then I enlisted in the Navy.

Once I mustered out, five years later I went back to work at SPAN

And guess who also showed up to work there again?

You already know the answer.

To be continued…

Word to Anyone Who is Wise

This is a stupid post and pieced together from some stupid Facebook posts of mine. Some of it repeats itself.

Please be kind if you choose to comment, I am mentally challenged.

And yeah I know: the above is a classic example of a ‘comma splice.’ This was intentional in honor of one of my university profs who would drop an essay two letter grades for a comma splice–no matter how good the essay was.

FUCKING BITCH!

All the papers I wrote for that class (1975) were A-plus quality.

This broad had a hard-on for comma splices.

My ‘A-Plus’ papers got “C-Minuses” with red pencil accentuating them:

My fatal errors in punctuation

Cunt tried to kill my creative writing spirit with her pedantic bullshit

Guess what?

She Failed

To my “For Real Friends:”

Do not fret; We good.

Rest of you:

Pay your Money

Take your Chances.

Good luck.

(This is, of course all tongue in cheek. If you are too stupid to understand that, then you have no business ‘reading’ me.)

So spend your flamethrower fuel on someone worthy of flaming–I am not worthy–and trust me: you would lose the flame-war battle anyway. It would not end as you envisioned in your pipe dream

Word to anyone who is wise:

If you are a true friend to me, we be good.

This post is certainly not aimed at my real friends.

Rest of you: Pay your money; take your fucking chances.

Good luck. (This is, of course all tongue in cheek. If you are too stupid to understand that, then you have no business ‘reading’ me. So spend your flamethrower fuel on someone worthy of flaming–I am not worthy–and trust me: you would lose the flame-war battle anyway. It would not end as you envisioned in your pipe dreams) Please trust me on this. I am trying to to save your social media dignity (if you have any left or EVER had any, that is)

P.S. I have no idea what this post was supposed to be about.

I may be drunk.

Not my intention to offend anyone.

But guess what?

If I did, guess how many fucks I give.

Thank you. Drive Through.

And Merry Fucking 2020 Christmas

Feliz Navidad!!!

(I believe that may be ‘Meskin,’ but could be French, or Swahili–who the fuck gives a fuck? I understand what it means and that is the only thing ‘meaningful’ to me: the ‘Understanding’ If any of you have truly ‘read’ me, you’d know I done been ’round the world—fucking twice–I have experienced all kinds of cultures and guess what? I discovered value in all of them. And more importantly, I ‘learned’ something from all of them. Travel is something most stupid provincial dumb-ass Americans should take a shot at. Might make us a better country. Or at least lower the proportion of assholes who inhabit this place.

“Linda & Lance Go To Mars” (And They Lived Happily Ever After)

Yet one more stupid FaceBork Post:

“I gotta repost this post and allow me to enlighten and explain to you why:

At least thirty-three percent of the songs are songs that JOhnny Whitley reminded me of or turned onto for the very first time.

Thank you Johnny:  My good, great newly re-discovered friend from “The Old HG Daze”.

Thank you Johnny. You have brought joy back into my life.

Joy was missing in action.

Now she has returned.

“Welcome back Joy. I have missed you.”

(Muse sitting on the ‘Nasty Couch’ looks up and glares at me)

I am sincere in this statement .

You have not  an idea.

But actually, I’d wager you do.

“Linda Went to Mars.”

And Lance was on that same spaceship….

We were shit-mates

Me and Linda.

And we ENJOYED  the ride.

We did not so much enjoy our “arrival”

You see…

Life is all about the “journey”

Never about the final destination arrival.

Very much so

MERRY  CHRISTMAS”

Oh shit!

I made an esoteric reference

Here is the link:

Shit that makes me happy

Added value: