Oops! I Did It Again

Never Really Ever Been A Fan, But This Serves My Purpose Here
Thank You Britney

I’m not that innocent either

On FaceFuk

Transcribed in Below:

*****

“Just a generic observation on Social Media in General and Writing in Particular:

And for Ref: During the Vietnam War, and leading up to his resignation, President Richard Nixon preceded many public comments with the line, “Let me make one thing perfectly clear.”

So, Humour me for a moment, if you will. Let me be perfectly clear before I get too drunk to write this.

I have often said that I mainly write for my own edification.

And This is Paralyzed Fact/Truth.

But what I never say/verbalize enough is how much I appreciate & Respect My Readers.

A writer needs readers to get him to work on the next writing project.

(Simple Yin and Yang—Tits for Tats—Validations)

Not to blow my own horn too much (In spite of my façade and massaged image, I am a humble, shy man)

But here is some bona-fide truth:

(I work really hard at not posting garbage. I respect anyone and everyone who takes the time to read my ‘work.’ I endeavor to post quality content—lots of variety—lots of shit I search out and steal from the Internet—Yet I always credit the Original Poster whenever possible.)

Back to my point: Because I know that our finite time is not a thing to be squandered.

I know I ain’t Shakespeare, but (and trust me on this) I do put a lot of time, thought, and effort into my attempt to enrich your lives, Gentle Readers.

And Thank You Marvelous Much if you visit my Real Blog Page

And if you take some time to drop a dime and ‘comment’—You may have my First born.

(That is a JOKE—Justin Case You do not get my sick sense of humour.)

Visit texantales.com “I trust you will find comfort there.”

(I stole that line From The Wonderful Movie, “The Dresser.”)

Google it.

Not you Johnny—You already know…”

****

THE LIVING END

Just Some More CNN Bashing

(Video Credit: FreedomToons)

Since My Muse Has Once Again Fucked Off To Waco Due To “Previous Committed Obligations,” I am Forced To Shit-Post:

Just To Keep The Embers Burning, Or at Least Somewhat Viable For Future Reference, or Need

Ed Note:

Regarding My Muse

I really should consider finding a MUSE who is FOCUSED solely on ME.

But I cannot ‘Fire’ This One.

Her evil side is always just beneath the surface.

Bubbling up.

“Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and caldron bubble.”

Will boil over at the slightest provocation.

I have seen/experienced her wrath.

(And it ain’t Nothin’ Nice)

She frightens me.

********

FaceDork Post of Mine Pasted In Below:

****

“Hey Clown News Network!

Perhaps

You did not Get The Memo:

“We Have A New President! Why Are You Still Fixated On Trump?

You Are Giving Him More ‘Airtime’ Than Piss-Pants Biden. I Think I can Surmise: Your Ratings Going Deep Into The Shitter Without Orange-Man-Bad/RAD.

Don’t Open Your Mouth While Down There, Or You Will Have A Bad Day.

Just hold Your Breath.

Until You Die.

We Will NOT Miss You.

Except For Erin Burnett:

I will MISS HER.

Marvelous Much.”

(Ref a Previous Fawning Post of Mine, Regarding her. Pasted in Below)

PAIN IN THE NECK

Video Credit: ABKCOVEVO

*******

So I woke up few days ago with excruciating pain in my neck.

I immediately attributed this to the dream I had been having about THE MOST FLAGRANT Pain-in-my-neck I had ever experienced:

MY LAST WIFE

She was ALWAYS A PAIN IN MY NECK

I left her.

She was also a PAIN IN THE ASS

I FINALLY left her.

Happily I did not wake up with a Pain in My Ass:

Thank God for Tender Mercies:

(Probably could not have dealt with the “Double-Whammy.”)

No, the excruciating pain in my neck t’would serve well enough.

And it was horrible: debilitating.

I did not know whether to shit or go blind, or commit suicide.

That is HOW PAINFUL it was.

Tried to knock it back with booze

BC Powder

Advil

No Dice.

I suffered for three days.

Now, those of you  who are faithful readers of this Blog-Oh-Mine know that I am no pussy: I went to

Navy SEAL Training:

Twice.

But this PAIN was kicking my ass.

Then my platonic  Girl Friend of thirty some-odd years FedExed me a heating pad.

This helped and the pain began to subside.

I still cannot move my neck properly, but most of the PAIN has left the building.

“What a drag it is getting old.”

Sometimes you just bend over or pour a beer or pick up an errant sock and something breaks in your body. For no logical, discernable  reason.

I suppose it is called “Old Age.”

Sucks.

Really sucks.

Is this how it is to end for me?

Coming unraveled and dying, just by picking up a sock off the floor?

******

Some Added Value Below (Because My aim is to entertain My Readers)

And not waste your valuable finite time.

ASSHOLES! SLAMMING DOORS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

And Therefore Disrupting My State of Somnambulistic Glorious Oblivious Glee.

Just trying to catch a few Z’s here.
Slamming Doors!
Why??? What the fuck??? Why must you do this???
I live here in the Lion’s Den Apartments as quiet as a Church Mouse.
I know how to open and close a fucking door without awakening the dead.
Because I RESPECT my neighbors. And their right to peace and quiet.
Apparently I am THE ONLY ONE who exhibits this level of RESPECT!

****
To my LOUD – ASS, Inconsiderate Neighbors:
YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES!!!

Go FUCK Yourselves!

But please endeavor to do it quietly

Thanks in advance

ASSHOLES!

Otherwise…

Ram it, Ram it, Ram it up your Poop Chute

“You Got an EBP?”

“EBP?”

This means “Eye-Ball Problem.”

Generally a statement hurled from a black woman at someone who is staring at her.

I love strong black women (Hell! I don’t think I have ever met a weak black woman–they just do not exist.)

Anyway… Here is my “EBP” story.

It is very ‘light,’ so don’t get excited.

****

OK.

I just had something stuck in my eye (who has NOT experienced this at least a thousand times?)

Well, it is always unpleasant.

I grabbed the Visine and tried to flush it out.

No Dice.

Kept flushing.

No dice.

Finally, maybe some relief, but…

Wanted to rub my eyeball.

Voice inside my head:

“Don’t do it Lance! Don’t do it! Put your head down. Let gravity do that gravity thing and let it come out on its own. Just keep your head down and keep blinking. This will all turn out fine. Trust me, I’m with the Government”

“Fuck off, Voice inside my head,”

But Finally, that worked.

“Thank you, voice inside my head for saving me from me.”

Voice inside my head said, “You’re fucking welcome. Don’t call me again any time soon, mmmm kay?”

“Okay. We still on for lunch tomorrow?”

I Don’t Even Know Where to Begin

I thought the world

was

fucked on August 08, 2014.

Little did I know

I had no idea things were so good then compared to where we would find ourselves on August 08, 2020.

We are, all of us, properly fucked.

(At least we shall all go down together.)

While Riding On this Blue Marble.